Letters To Sherlock

by jessisnotdeadyet

These are the letters that John wrote to Sherlock during the time when he was 'dead'. He left the letters on his grave every week on a Wednesday, starting from one month after the Fall. Includes Johnlock, and these letters lead on to a fanfiction in story form rather than letters which I am currently working on. Mystrade included in such fanfiction. Rated M for later chapters.

32. 19 09 2012

Dear Sherlock,

We've been so many places together, haven't we? We've done so many things without even realising it. Do you ever think about how many cases we have actually solved, and how much we've had to do to achieve any of that? I've saved your life, and you've saved mine, so many times that I've lost count. I miss that. All the trust that we had in one another. You could have called us friends up to any point in infinity. I miss you in every possible way, and I want you here, even if our relationship continued to be platonic and it went no further. Because just knowing that you were alive and by my side would make me happy.

I've said this a hundred thousand times, and I apologise for that, but I write what I am feeling, and I am feeling nostalgic. Wishing for the past. Again.

I should probably tell you that the infection is completely gone. My mind isn't any closer to recovering, though. I'm not suicidal, but I am shattered more now than I ever have been. My therapist visited me the other day, but I didn't book an appointment. Must have been Mrs Hudson, worried out of her mind. My therapist told me that there was the possibility that my limp might return due to the trauma, but I quickly dismissed that idea. Whatever you have fixed in me will never be broken again. I couldn't care less what she thinks, because I'll show her. I'll show them all as soon as I can get back home.

I won't let myself down again, Sherlock.

Love,

Your John.