Letters To Sherlock

by jessisnotdeadyet

These are the letters that John wrote to Sherlock during the time when he was 'dead'. He left the letters on his grave every week on a Wednesday, starting from one month after the Fall. Includes Johnlock, and these letters lead on to a fanfiction in story form rather than letters which I am currently working on. Mystrade included in such fanfiction. Rated M for later chapters.

33. 26 09 2012

Dear Sherlock,

They told me this morning that I can go home on Friday! The bandages came off, and they weren't going to put any more back on, but I can't stand looking at them, so I asked them to. I can't even bear my own body now, but I can't wait to get out of here.

Of course I'm not going to be allowed to go home without an abundance of painkillers and anti-depressants. The worst thing is that Mrs Hudson has been given charge over them so she will keep them somewhere where I can't get to them to take an overdose to kill myself. And she had to give them to me and make sure that I take them. It's humiliating. But a necessary precaution, I suppose.

Tonight is my penultimate night in captivity. Well, I say that, but I know that for at least a year I won't be allowed to work and they'll try to keep me safe inside 221B for as long as they can.

No matter how many times I tell them that I will never attempt suicide again, they never believe me. Suicidal tendancies are a mental instability, so they have the right to doubt my words if they don't know that the rest of my mentality is sound. I would be concerned myself, as a doctor in their position. I would treat a person like me exactly the same as what they are, so I can't blame them. I just want them to understand that I'm fine now. Or is that just the drugs talking?

Love,

Your John.