Guys, I couldn't be happier. This is the best story I ever wrote, and you seem to like it, even if I'm barely at chapter 6! Thank you to everyone who reads, follows, reviews, thank you, thank you, thank you :) Ok Ana, control your emotions. Here we go with chapter 6 :)
Winterfell was no longer a stranger to me. It's been five days since our arrival, and I can finally say that I don't get lost while trying to find my chambers. And unlike the rest of my family, I was enjoying it here. I always was weak when it comes to having a chance to be free, and act like you wish to act.
It is safe to say that the King shared my opinion. And as did Tyrion, in a way. The two of them are the only ones beside me who actually gave Winterfell a chance. Cersei and Jaime were both hopping that we head back to Kings Landing as soon as we can. Joffrey was enjoying himself on the other hand. I believe it has a lot to do with the way Sansa looked at him. And Myrcella and Tommen are happy as long as they can play. They did not complain at all.
And I? I was… I was happy. I had the freedom to do basically anything I wanted. I had great people around me. I got along quite well with Lord Starks children. Arya and I would train almost every day, I would walk around the castle and talk with Sansa. Sometimes I would also play with Bran and Rickon. And, of course, there were Robb and Jon, two people I already considered friends. I got along better with Jon though, probably because I was the only one who didn't give a damn about him being a bastard. And I even got a chance to send Gendry a letter. Of course, it would be days, maybe even weeks before I get a letter from him, but I was willing to wait.
On the rear occasions when I was alone, I would surround myself with books. Usually I would sit on the ground, ignoring the cold, leaning on one of Winterfells towers and read. I am doing it just now.
I was lost in The History of Winterfell when I noticed something. A pup was running towards me. I recognized straight away that it wasn't just a pup. It is way too big. And Arya told me about the direwolfs she and her brothers and sister have rescued and were raising them as their pets. I have only seen Jon's, Ghost, and I could see that this one was not him. Ghost is snow white, and this one was grey. It approached me just like any other dog pup would. I, on the other hand, was a bit more restrained. Even if they are trained, they still are humongous beasts. When they grow up. This one truly did act like a harmless pup. I slowly raised a hand and waited for it to approach me. And it did. It started sniffing my hand, and I smiled. As soon as he was finished, I started petting him. In no time at all, he was in my lap and I was playing with him. So much for a humongous beasts.
-You are adorable, aren't you?-I asked.-I don't know you though. I bet you're Nymeria.-I laughed. Yes, I am guessing that Arya is the one who would allow her direwolf to run around freely across Winterfell.
-Grey Wind!-I heard a yell, and I looked up. Robb was running my way. So this is his direwolf. I got up on my feet as soon as Grey Wind ran towards him.-Elena, I am sorry. I thought I trained him well, but he is still a pup. Grey Wind!-he said, yet again, as the pup was running around me. I started laughing as soon as he started pulling at my dress with his teeth. I crouched and tried to pull my dress away from him, but the pup wouldn't back down. And it made me laugh even more. I was pulling my dress and Robb was pulling Grey Wind himself until the pup finally released me. I got up, but as soon as Robb let him go, the pup was running around me again. This time, I was ready. I grabbed the pup in my hands before he could grab me. He started licking my face. Robb was apologizing over and over again as I was laughing.
-Don't worry Robb.-I told him with a big smile on my face as I was petting the pup in my hands.-He's still a pup. He's small and doesn't know better. Besides, he is an animal. You can't expect of an animal not to act like one.-I said, and he smiled. But I could still see he was worried. And I couldn't blame him. If Grey Wind did this to my sister, it would not end well. Luckily, I am not Cersei, and Robb should know that.
-He doesn't usually warm up to people, but he does seem to like you.-Robb noticed. And so did I. Grey Wind had no problem with me carrying him around.-He's very protective of all of us, especially me. Usually he just growls and strangers.-he said. Well, I'm happy that he likes me, because a growling direwolf is not a sight I wish to see. I prefer them cuddly and adorable, like Grey Wind is right now.
-He must sense my love of animals?-I guessed. I always did love animals, but I was never allowed to have one. Mostly because I wanted a dog, much like Grey Wind here. The best I could get was a cat. I don't mind them, maybe I should settle with that.-I would love to have a little beast like this one for myself. But they would never like it in Kings Landing. It would be too hot for them. And I doubt my sister would be thrilled. I guess I'll just rather take a sacrifice than listen to her.-I admitted, and Robb was laughing. Grey Wind started pressing himself to me, demanding attention, so I was scratching him behind the ears.-Besides, I have one friend here, don't I Grey Wind?-I asked, and Grey Wind howled. It looked as though he answered me, and it made both Robb and I laugh.
-Elena!-I heard a yell that almost froze my blood. I turned around, and saw the King making his way to Robb and me. Lord Stark wasn't far behind. Robb and I both bowed our heads.-Robb, I have to steal this one from you for a while.-said the King with a smile. Oh, brilliant. He couldn't just say that he wants to speak with me. He just had to make me feel very uncomfortable. Maybe even Robb too.
-Of course Your Grace.-I said, wondering what does Robert want to talk about. Especially since this also includes Lord Stark. For a second I thought that they want to arrange my marriage, possibly even with Robb! I realized that wasn't the case. They probably would want to talk to him to. Still, I had no idea what was this going to be about.-Do you mind…?-I asked Robb, looking at Grey Wind. He took him from my arms and I smiled at him.-I'll see you later.-I said, and he nodded. I turned around and both the King and Lord Stark were walking away. I followed them, speeding up my pace. We followed Lord Stark when we entered the castle; at least he knows where he's going. He held the door open for both Robert and me, and I smiled as I entered a room that must be a library.
I wasn't sure what to think. I was standing next to Lord Stark as the King sat behind a desk. I cannot even guess why he wants to talk to the both of us. Lord Stark made his way behind the desk, and now he was standing behind Robert. And they both looked at me in a very serious manner.
-What is this about Your Grace?-I asked.
-I will get straight to the point now. You know very well that I respect your opinion. Some might wonder why I trust a 19-year-old girl so much, but I have my reasons. To this day, you are one of the most insightful people I ever met. And I have met plenty of them.-he said. I wasn't sure whether I should thank him or not.-And you are part of a group of a very few people I trust. I know you don't agree with much of my decisions, but I do not need someone to agree with me. I need someone I can trust. And you and Ned are those people.-he said. I took a deep breath. It is true. I would never stab him in the back. I'm just surprised that that is enough for him to trust me.-I trust you and that is why I need you in Kings Landing. If it wasn't for that, we would be celebrating your betrothal to Robb! I can see that you like the North, but I need you in the South.-he said. Seriously? Me and Robb? I guess I could have ended up with a much worse husband, but it is not an idea that makes me happy. Thankfully, I will not think about it anymore. He just said that that cannot happen.-I need to keep my throne. And you and Ned are going to help me.-he said. Oh Gods. I do not understand what he means with all of this. I suppose I should find out. It is my turn to speak now.
-First of all, I'm glad you think that way Your Grace.-I said. Choose your words wisely Elena, choose them wisely!-But I am not sure in what way I would be able to help you.-I admitted in a low voice. I am not in a position to help him. Sure, I know and see things, but I am not Varys. And I am not as cunning as my sister. I speak my mind and very often, I pay I price for that. I do not see how I could help him.
-Lena, you don't understand.-Robert said, and I was very surprised. He does not call me like that very often.-I need to know that I have at least to people on the fucking court that wouldn't betray me. If something was to happen to me, or Ned, I need to know I can count on you.-he said.
Oh. Now I see it. He is afraid that my family would do something bad to him. As deceptive as my father is, I do not see why would he do something like that. Actually, I do see a reason for that. If something happened to Robert, Joffrey would have his ass on that throne. And both my father and Cersei can control Joffrey a lot easier than they could control Robert. Well, they can't control him at all.
-I understand what you are trying to say.-I said flatly.-No matter what happens, you can always trust in me. Both House of Baratheon, and House of Stark.-I said, looking at Lord Stark this time. I wasn't sure if I was expecting a smile, but I sure didn't get one. I doubt he even likes me.-I never did really felt like a Lannister. But, I do have something I would like to say.-I said, careful not to angry Robert. He nodded, and I took a deep breath. Choose. Your. Words!-Joffrey is you heir Your Grace. And I understand that he does need a wife, and his heirs soon enough. And I must say that I am afraid that his betrothal to Sansa was made a bit too early. I've been her long enough to get to know her well. And she is a good girl, Your Grace. She is innocent and uncorrupted and I wouldn't like to see her change. She is too good to go amongst the snakes I grew up close to.-I said. So much for choosing your words! Not only did I say to the King that he is making a huge mistake, but I also managed to scare Lord Stark! He seems like a smart man, I'm sure he knows that Sansa's life won't be a fairytale she hoped to live.
-You might be right, but I insist on joining our houses.-he said. Gods, he really can't give her up, can he? It will always be Lyanna. No wonder Cersei is as mean as she is, the thought of your husband hating you and loving a girl who's been dead for years not surely isn't helping her. But I do see something poetic in it. It must have been one of those loves that you never forget. The love you write poems about, start wars for. He did cause a war for her after all.-Now leave us, please. And thank you.-he said, and I could see that he honestly meant it. I bowed, and left the room.
These corridors are like a damn maze! I don't know how, but I managed to find myself in the courtyard. And I found Robb. I suppose he was waiting for me. Very nice of him I must admit.
-I am guessing you didn't hear good news?-he asked, and I snorted. Yes, I let out some sort of snort laughter. I definitely need to learn how to be a lady.
-Sansa's betrothal to my nephew is almost officially announced.-I said. I took another deep breath. I have already scared Lord Stark, I do not need to scare Robb too.
-One would think that a marriage to an heir should be a reason for a celebration.-he said, and I nodded. If Joffrey wasn't a prick, I would have been more than happy for the girl.-But Sansa is happy about it. And that is all I care about.-he said with a small smile. It took all the strength I had not to tell him that I doubt her happiness will last long. What do I know about it, honestly? Joffrey might like her, love her even! She may be happy with him. I will not speak about it anymore.
-I just home that she ends up married to a good man, even if it is Joffrey. I can see it in her face, she still believes in the stories, the happy endings, lovely marriage and even more lovely children. She doesn't realize that you are incredibly happy if you do not detest the one you are married to.-I said. I sound like a bitter old hag, not a girl. But I had bad role models. With Cersei and Robert I saw exactly how bad marriage can get. It is understandable that I don't believe in it that much.
-I must admit, I was scared for a moment that the King would like to get the two of us married.-he admitted in a low voice. Scared? Well, he doesn't sound too happy about it, does he?
-Don't worry, he doesn't.-I said, a bit too coldly.-He just told me that.-I added. I was not happy about the idea myself, but I must admit that I was a little bit insulted when I saw his reaction. I knew he doesn't love me, but at least he could acknowledge that in that case he wouldn't be marrying a dead body! And yet, I did not let him see it. I had a perfect little smile on my face.-He said that he would marry me off here in Winterfell if he didn't need me in Kings Landing. Gods only know why.-I said, laughing it off. He smiled, and I knew I had to be more believeable. Gods, I hate my ladylike side! I didn't even think of marrying him, and still, it bothers me that he doesn't want to marry me either! No wonder I prefer acting like I wasn't a little Lady. If this continues, I might go and join the Wildlings, just to keep this stupid feelings away from me. I hate being a woman sometimes.-I'm sorry, I don't feel my best right now. I should probably head back to my chambers.-I said, hoping to run away as fast as I can.
-Of course. Would you like me to accompany you?-he asked, and I shook my head.
-No, thank you. I know my way around the castle now.-I lied. Well, partially lied. I know how to find my chamber, but that is as far as my knowledge goes. And right now, it is the only knowledge I need.
I left before he can say another well-rehearsed line. I made my way to my chambers, and as soon as I closed the door, I collapsed on the bed. It was a very, very long day, and it is not even afternoon yet!
Memories I can't remember, responsibilities I'm not ready for, a future I will never live and being slightly hurt, not understanding why.
It is a pitty I can't remember being mean to Joffrey. In all honesty, I can live without that memory. I had my revenge plenty more times after that. And yet, he still leads. I guess you need to be a prick in order to annoy someone on a daily basis.
Responsibility is something I do not understand. I don't understand why has the King decided to trust me. I really don't. I mean, I would never kill him. And if that is good enough for him, I wish him all my luck, because it seems to me that he might need it.
The marriage talk. I was under the impression that the King will give me some time to make a choice for myself, and that he would have a say if I take too much time. And now I hear that I would already be married. Luckily for me, he is very difficult to love and even like, and he doesn't have much people he can trust. That makes me one of the rare ones. Thank the Gods he needs me in Kings Landing.
And finally, the hurt. My ego still stings. But that is just it, ego. Not my feelings. I wouldn't be too happy about it either, so I can't really blame Robb for not jumping up and down in happiness at the idea of the two of us being married. I won't hold it against him. Actually, I will, for a little while. Until my ego heals itself.
It's not like I am the prettiest Lady in whole of Westeros. I'm not that bad to look at, if I'm being honest. Nowhere near my sister. But again, she is so beautiful that it is almost unattractive. There is some beauty in imperfection, and I am not nursing my ego now.
I always thought that I never got any offers because men were frightened. I'm not exactly a normal Lady, and the one who marries me does have to ask the King or my father for my hand, and I do not know which is worse. I guess it just hurt a little bit to see that someone was just… not interested.
I hate being a girl sometimes. I hate acting that way, I hate letting feelings bother me. I suppose that I cannot escape it. That doesn't mean I won't try to control it.