Just to make sure it's clear, Meta knows that Rose has two hearts and that he can't be with her.
In other news, Journey's end is done! I had fun writing it. :D And we are now at Chapter 25 which if all goes to plan is the official halfway mark in this story. I worked on an outline and it coughed up 50 chapters. That might change though. Just depends on how many more ideas I get. Either from my own head or from you. Please R&R. :)
I walk over and stand right next to the Doctor. He looks at me and I smile at him.
"Why don't we sit down and you can start asking your questions?"
His look is intense as we move over to the park bench. His gaze is unsettling. It's like he can see right through me. But I know he can't. He's amazing, but he's not quite capable of that.
"Go on then Doctor. Ask me."
"Who are you?"
"Lieutenant Jane Ryder. Torchwood one operative in the universe known as Pete's world."
His eyes seem to measure me.
"No. You're River Song."
He says so matter of fact. There no question in his mind. And I'm left sputtering.
"Wha...why would you say that? Do I look like I have a bush instead of hair?"
I actually love River's hair. I'd kill for her hair. Mine is all flat. But he needs to know how odd I find his accusation.
"You know my future. I can tell by how you look at me. You have a book in your pocket. Id bet it's a diary. And then you used the word spoilers. I've never heard anyone else use it."
I cut him off. "Slow down. I'm not River. I am definitely not River. I know who she is. I know where she comes from. She is 100 percent not me."
He really looks at me and seems to decide to believe me.
"Then who are you?"
I sigh. They really are the same man aren't they?
"I don't really want to have this conversation again so I'm going to cut to the chase. You won't tell me your name, I won't tell you mine. Names have power. You know that. If you think I'm going to let you have that power over me than you're being stupid on purpose. The name that I was born with is irrelevant. It's the name I've chosen for myself that defines me. I am Jane Ryder. Others call me many things. The Woman of the Void, the Child of the Dark."
I pause before saying the last one. The Humacra called me that only once and I haven't thought of it since. Not even when Rose nearly brought it to light.
"The Executioner with fire in her wake."
His jaw tightens even as his eyes soften.
"You've killed before."
It's not a question. He can see the blood on my hands as clearly as I see it on his. It takes one to know one.
"You're too young to have to live with that."
I laugh bitterly. I've had a long time to think about this. After all, I used to think the same thing.
"Oh Doctor. Time is relative. Age is nothing more than a measurement of time, so it stands to reason that it doesn't matter how many years I've been alive. What matters is what I've seen. What I've done. Some people live more in a year than others do in twenty. You can't judge me by how many years I've been breathing, you have to measure me in experiences. And by that account I am very, very old."
His smile is rueful. I've surprised him, in a good way I think.
"How did you get to be so wise?"
I look off into the distance and think back to one of the last episodes I saw. Time to take a line from Danny Pink.
"Just like anyone else. I had a bad day."
"Several it sounds like."
"No just one. And it's not over yet. It's a never ending day."
"Alright. Start at the beginning. You don't have to tell me your name but it's your past that's going to tell me who you are."
This is where telling the truth and lies is going to get complicated. I still can't fully explain, but if I lie too much he'll be able to tell.
"Not much to tell really. I was born in England. Lived with my mum and dad until they separated. Then I lived with my dad and spent summers with my mum. I met you and Rose when I was fourteen. I know you far too well, and I can't give you details because it could damage some really important timelines and I've done enough of that for a life time."
He wants to interrupt me here but I don't give him a chance.
"I suppose it would be about a year and half ago now that I fell through the void. There was a plane accident and I still have no idea what really happened but it doesn't matter. I landed in Pete's world. I used my future knowledge to help build and use the dimension cannon."
Again be tries to cut in but I hold my hand up and don't let him.
"Don't. Just...let me get this out."
"Alright. Go on."
"Thank you. So...in my original universe, Donna got shot by Davros and had all your memories and knowledge. It was killing her, and eater than let her die, you erased her memory of you."
I take a deep breath.
"I couldn't let that happen this time. I wanted to take her place completely. But the TARDIS wouldn't let me. Don't know why. But now Donna can remember. I suppose there things she'll have to avoid now, but, a small price to pay considering."
"She can't travel anymore. Too many things could happen."
I nod.
"You have a headache? It's not comfortable to have stuff pushed into your head."
"Yeah I do. It's alright. Just a nuisance really."
"Will you let me...?"
He gestures to his temple. I smile hesitantly.
"Yeah. Please. Just...don't look at anything behind a door."
"I won't. There are rules with telepathy."
I give a teasing smile.
"But you love breaking rules."
"I do. But not with this. You know too much. It wouldn't be good if I were to see something I shouldn't."
"Carry on then."
I'm not sure exactly what he does. It doesn't take long. When he's done, he pulls away and my head feels clear again.
"You took away the knowledge."
"It was causing pressure in your cerebral cortex. The only way to relieve the pressure was to eliminate what was causing it in the first place. In this case, the knowledge that was added to your head. Too much too fast. If you really want that knowledge you'll have to learn it the hard way. No short cuts."
"Thank you. So...next question?"
He pulls back a bit.
"It doesn't matter. We should be going."
He goes to stand up, but I pull him down by his jacket lapels. There is no way I'm letting him do this now. Rose is staying with him. End of story.
"No ya don't Spaceman."
He gapes at me but I don't release my hold on him.
"If I know everything else, what makes you think that I don't know what you're planning right now?"
"What am I planning?"
I narrow my eyes.
"You're planning on leaving Rose with the meta crisis back in Pete's world. On that same bloody beach no less."
His mouth opens and closes like a fish.
"I-It's w-what's best for her. And he's me from before. He needs her. They can build a life together. They can be happy. They can-"
"Stop it. Just stop it. Have you even really looked at her since she got here? No. You know what? Never mind that right now. We'll go back to it. I got a few other things to tell you first."
I finally let him go.
"What?"
"Okay. On one of my jump...I ran into Jenny."
His face is blank.
"You're daughter. She's alive."
"Th-that's impossible."
"No not impossible. I should get you a dictionary for Christmas. Not impossible. Just a bit unlikely."
"But how? She was in my arms she.."
"She regenerated. Of course. But she kept her face. I think it had something to do with being so young. I mean, regeneration is like a birth, and after you regenerated, you grew your freaking hand back. So she grew her life back. I think that makes sense."
He's shaking his head in disbelief.
"She said to tell you that she misses you, and she wishes that you could have traveled together."
"She's really alive?"
I smile. "Yes."
"Jenny's alive!?"
"Yes!"
"My daughters alive!"
His enthusiastic grin is contagious. He can't stand still so he stands up and drags me with him. He spins me around in a hug. Before putting me down.
"So she's in another universe?"
"Yeah. Sorry. I tried to get her a way home to you, but I couldn't. I really did try."
"I believe you did. Thank you."
We sit back down on the park bench.
"Right, so back to what we were talking about before you distracted me with my daughter. Don't you understand that it would be better for everyone if..."
"Fingers on lips. Stop right there."
I take yet another deep breath. At this rate, I'm gonna give myself asthma.
"You could feel other time lords I. Your head right? You could feel your people? Gallifreyan. Right?"
His expression is pained. "I could, but not anymore. They're all gone."
I take his hands in mine. "Reach out. In your head. Look."
"I-I haven't...I keep that part of my mind closed, if I didn't I would go mad."
"Oh, you're already mad. You'll be fine. Just open up. Just for a second. I'll be right here. Not that will reassure you since you don't really know me but please Doctor. Please."
I didn't expect him to give into me so easily, but after everything I just sprang on him, I suppose he's still processing and it's hindering his defenses.
He closes his eyes. After a moment, his grip on my hands tighten. His eyes snap open but they seem glazed over.
"That's not possible. How is that possible?"
"I think that's a question you better ask her. Go."
He searches my eyes.
"Go to her. We can talk more later. We got all the time in the world time lord."
A massive grin splits his face. He pulls me in and plants a big kiss on my forehead before taking off like a shot. I hesitate a fraction a second before following. I make it into the doorway just in time to see him sweep Rose into his arms. They are muttering to each other but I can't hear a word.
Donna is beaming with a knowing look on her face. But there's also some sadness about her. I suppose Meta explained everything. I catch his eye from across the room. No words are needed between us. This is how it had to be. The Doctor and Rose Tyler, in the TARDIS, as it should be, forever.
But Meta will need help adjusting. He's a new species. The woman he loves can never be his, and his memories are not wholly his either. He'll need help.
Plan A: help move the plot in the direction I knew. Build a life for Rose and Meta, help them create a future. Plan B: change it. Take Donna's place, and die in peace. The rest will work itself out. Plan C: Donna keeps her memories, Rose and the Doctor are together, and Meta...well Meta needs someone.
The only reason i'm still alive is because I still have reasons to live. Even the universe thinks so. Even the TARDIS thinks so. This is my new reason. Help Meta adjust. It's the least I can do. Besides. I don't really want to travel with Rose and the Doctor just now. That would be a bit awkward not to mention the fact that I would feel like a massive third wheel. They need some serious alone time judging by the way they're looking at each other right now.
This point forward is now a mystery to me. I'm curious to see how this story will play out. I'm curious what my part will be. For the first time in a long time, I'm actually looking forward to a future. My future.