Chapter 70

Sam's back began to throb, a dull ache that was starting to radiate down his leg. He was going to pay for this early morning exercise with sore muscles and probably a stiff neck. Worth every bit of the pain though, high heel shoes jammed in his back, rug burn on his knees was a small price to pay for all the pleasure he just received. He looked down at Mercedes curled up against him, her wavy hair spread out over his torso, his gray wool coat he had pulled from the hanger above partially covering her body. Damn he had a hot wife. Mercedes was a little firecracker between the sheets. Not that they had any sheets, since they never made it off the closet floor and into their bed. That only made it hotter, it was more raw, pure instinct. Once they had crossed that line they never looked back and unleashed all their pent up attraction.

Good things came in small packages, he needed to remember that. Mercedes might have been slight in height, but what she lacked in stature she definitely made up for in skills. At one point she had him mesmerized, the way she used her tongue, giving every part of him loving attention, she could have asked him to do anything and he would have complied without hesitation, she was that good. Their time together in the hospital was only a teaser of what being with Mercedes was like. Nothing had prepared him for the way her passionate intensity combined with his own insatiable need to explore her, to know her, would create this indescribable sexual brew, that had literally blown his mind. It was really good sex taken to another level because there was so much emotion behind it. He could actually feel how much Mercedes loved him in her every action, and that was something Sam couldn't recall ever experiencing before.

Weeks of wondering what it felt like to be with her, trying not to hope for a chance to finish what they had started in the hospital, when he got just a taste of her sweetness. If it weren't for those machines going off he would have conquered this territory by now, probably had her completely out of his system, and he wouldn't have spent weeks fantasizing about something he shouldn't want. That was all in the past now, should or shouldn't, right or wrong, no longer mattered, he'd done it, and it was good. He couldn't bring himself to regret a thing.

At first Sam was a little worried, Mercedes started with the tears and he thought maybe he had read the signs wrong and had taken things too far with her. Having a woman cry in his arms during sex was a new thing for him, one he never wanted to go through again if he could help it. Mercedes already got to him under normal circumstances whenever she teared up, but to have her do it during a moment of passion was too much for him. It made him feel like he could do nothing right with her, which led him to wonder why she wanted him around in the first place. Eventually those tears passed and the look in her eyes changed from something sad to something sexy and before he knew it she had pushed him flat on his back and had taken total control. He guessed all she needed was to get her bearings and once she had, she was eager to get back in the saddle. Riding metaphors were flying fast in his head for what felt like hours, he couldn't help it, aggressive women turned him on. While he knew Mercedes had spunk, she had let him have it verbally many times in the short period he'd known her, he hadn't expected that she'd take that fire to the bedroom, not the way she did. There was almost a hunger for him inside her, once she got over her bout of emotions, she had pounced, almost overwhelming him with her lips, her tongue, her hands. It was as if she wanted to leave no part of him untouched, savoring it all for as long as she could. Sam had been with a number of women in his life, mainly during his time in the Army when he was working out his issues with one nighters, but never had he experienced anything like this, where his partner's passion felt like too much, like it would consume him, like he had to struggle to keep up or he'd drown in her. It was incredible. Mercedes wasn't lying about missing him, he could feel it in her every move, and he guessed that was the explanation for it all, she was excited to be with him, very excited.

Felt pretty damn good to be wanted that much, if all welcome homes felt like this one he would have to stay away more often. Sam liked to think of himself as a giver and it wasn't right to let Mercedes do all the work, even if she was doing it exceptionally well. So he turned a little of that passion around on her, putting her on her back and performing a few tricks of his own. His doubts about disappointing her were totally unfounded, she scratched his back up in appreciation, he definitely was doing something right, as he fulfilled his desire to kiss every inch of her body. And that ass, the one spot he tried so hard to keep himself from looking at on her body, was finally his to touch. There were no words to describe the moment when he had heaping handfuls of that beautiful bottom in his reach. When they were both out of breath, hovering right near the ledge of satisfaction, she looked up at him, running her hands through his hair, sucking in her lower lip, her eyes glazing a bit, and she said three little words that pushed him over that ledge with her following close behind. It wasn't even a complete thought, incoherent words from an overly stimulated mind, but Sam had understood her meaning, and he felt it deep within. She was glad she married him. It wasn't until then that he realized how much he needed to hear that.

"I know you're awake. Your head feels less heavy." Sam nuzzled against her cheek.

Mercedes laughed squirming away. "Stop you're all prickly."

"You liked those prickles when I was between your legs," he said suggestively.

She buried her head against him in embarrassment. "I did," she said softly. "You were always talented in that area."

"I still got it!" he exclaimed, holding up his arm in triumph.

"Yes you do." She laughed. "You did everything just the way you used to."

"That's because I'm the same man. I keep trying to tell you that," he said running his finger along the slope of her button nose.

"Maybe, but it sort of seemed like…" She hesitated, looking up at him shyly.

"What? Just say it," he coaxed.

"It seemed like maybe you remembered me, well us, and how we used to be together."

Whoa, she was feeling all that? Here he thought she was just coming off the high of really good sex, maybe reliving some of it in her mind like he had been, but never would he have thought she was obsessing about his memory.

"No baby, I'm sorry, but I haven't remembered anything new."

"See right there." She sat up slightly, adjusting the coat to cover herself, and looked him directly in the eyes. "You called me baby. You used to always do that, especially when we made love."

"I've been calling you baby all night even while we were at my party."

Ever since she appeared at his bedroom door at the house the urge had hit him to call her that. Maybe it was a protective streak coming out because she looked so hollow and worn after her encounter with Rachel. It hadn't felt like a memory at the time, and it still didn't now, just an impulse to take care of her, to keep her safe, like he always felt since meeting her. Sam felt bad bursting her bubble like this, she seemed so excited at the idea that his memory could be returning in some way.

"Why did you suddenly start doing that tonight?" she asked unwilling to let the subject go. "It could be a memory coming through."

He covered her hand that was against his chest with his own, holding her there, hoping that she would realize that he wasn't trying to hurt her with what he was about to say.

"I don't know why I started, it just felt right, but Mercedes 'baby' is a pretty common term of endearment. I'm sure I've called other women 'baby' over the years too." He must have called some other woman that, even if he couldn't remember any specifics at the moment. This was just her wishful thinking, and not proof of anything.

She shook her head as she let go of his hand and slumped down lower next to him. He could sense her starting to get upset. Things were going well, he was feeling pretty damn satisfied in the afterglow he didn't want to mess up his buzz with depressing talk about memories.

"You know what?" He ran his hand over her head to get her attention. Reluctantly she looked up at him again. "I think you're sweet and feisty and amazing…"

"Amazing?" she interrupted giving him a skeptical look.

"Oh yeah, the things you can do with that mouth, mmm." He closed his eyes reliving the feeling. "I'm a lucky man." He grinned. Sam opened his eyes to find her watching him, an embarrassed little smile on her face.

"I don't know what to say to that. Glad you liked it?"

"The correct response is," he said placing a kiss on her lips. "When can I do that to you again?"

"Getting a little cocky there Mr. Evans…"

"Little? There's nothing little on me." He laughed.

"Right forgive me, getting A LOT cocky there Mr. Evans. Do you think you're getting a round two?" she asked raking her nails across his bare chest.

"You mean round three." He kissed her again, soft and gentle, his tongue sweeping against hers. She moaned a little, leaning into him, kissing him deeper. This was going to be a problem, Sam could sense it already. He could easily get addicted to being with her like this. She was so damn sweet.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her bare breasts against his chest, an action that did little to squelch his returning desire for her. Round three was sounding better and better. Granted she probably was confused about which round they were on since she was half sleep at the time the second one occurred.

She was on him, head on his chest, leg across his lower body, sound asleep. He had been stroking her hair, lost in the maelstrom of thoughts within him, when she shifted positions, exposing one perfect brown breast to him. They both were still nude, since neither of them had the energy or inclination to move, let alone look for clothes, but something about her new pose stirred him. He had to touch her soft skin, and then one touch led to another and before he knew it he had rolled her on her back and was teasing her into wake with kisses all over her large breasts. With closed eyes and groggy movements she responded to him, granting him access to her body, encouraging him to be with her again.

There was something so sexy about making love to her that way, in a sleepy waltz where all the steps seemed from memory. She'd said his name and called him her love, held him close to her heart, all without fully opening her eyes. Maybe she thought it was all a dream, like the ones she told him she had about him while he was comatose. Whatever the reason Mercedes reached for him and longed for him even in her sleep, another heady detail to add to his ever growing list of mysteries about his wife.

"I missed you so much," she said clinging to him.

"I know baby." He cringed as he let the word baby fly again, he didn't want to get back into that topic. "I'm back now though. I'm right here for you to enjoy."

"Oh you think you were that good?" she asked leaning back raising an eyebrow at him.

"I know it. Every time you said my name it was like confirmation of my skills. Lucky you aren't a screamer or you would've woken up Beth." She hit at him playfully. "Sam oh Sam, do that again, more like that, oh yes," he mimicked in girly high pitched voice.

"I was not doing that! Stop it!" She laughed continuing to hit at his arm.

"Did too. Maybe we need to make another tape."

"Oh God, you didn't just go there. Have you even seen our sex tape?"

"Nope but it's on my to do list to track it down." He was joking of course, seeing his own bare ass on screen was not high on his wish list. However, if there was an edit of just Mercedes though, and he was completely blurred out, he wouldn't deny himself a peek at that.

"You are such a butthead," she said her whole body shaking with laughter. "I don't know why I love you."

"Let me refresh your memory."

"No I think it's you that needs the refresher."

Giving him a lingering look and a hint of a smile before sliding down his chest, planting kisses as she made her descent, disappearing under his coat where all he could see was a lock of her dark hair and her fingertips scratching at his lower abdomen. Sam squeezed his eyes shut, relaxing down onto the carpet, biting at his lower lip to temper his response at the feel of her warm mouth covering his hard length.

He hadn't expected her to take her kisses to this part of him, thinking she'd be satisfied sucking at the skin of his inner thighs. But Mercedes had something else in mind as she wrapped her mouth around him, swirling her tongue as she timed each stroke to some rhythm she heard in her mind.

Grasping the back of her head under the coat, he held her there physically urging her to keep to that sweet spot that made his muscles clench and his head feel light.

"Just like that," he practically rasped unable to catch his breath to speak normally.

He lifted his hips from the floor to meet her mouth unable to bear the slow pace she had set. The little sounds she made at the base of her throat as she adjusted to their new rhythm was turning him on almost as much as the combined sensations of her mouth against him, her hands gripping his thighs, and her hair tickling him as she moved. Sam wanted more of her, of her soft tongue languishing apt attention, of her fingers digging into his flesh, of the way she sometimes raised her big brown eyes toward him as if she wanted to watch him react to all she did. The need to find his release was building, but he wasn't ready to let go, not yet, not like this.

Sitting up slightly to get her attention and stop her movements, he reached down grabbing her under her arms to pull her back up to face him. There was a question in her eyes and a crooked smile on her plump bruised lips, before she could speak he was on her again kissing any words she might have had away. He couldn't get enough of that mouth, those full lips, that warm tongue, the way she pulled at his hair as she kissed him back. She was as into it as he was, he could tell by the way she moaned and pressed her body harder against him. They were naked, chest to chest, hands all over each other and it still wasn't enough for her. It definitely wasn't enough for him as he eased her on her back never losing contact with her lips.

Crushing her with his body he molded himself into her trying to get even closer to that magic place between her thighs. She wrapped her legs around him and Sam drew back ending his raid on her mouth and instead focused on her. He ran his hands up and down those thick brown thighs watching her writhing beneath him, sucking in her lower lip. She was so ready to be with him, her eyes almost pleading with him to stop teasing and make his move.

Their eyes locked as he entered her, slowly savoring each inch of her until he filled her completely. Mercedes' pretty doe eyes, glazed and half lidded with pleasure, never leaving his own as he began to move inside her. She said his name under her breath like a whispered prayer. Placing her arms around his neck she beckoned him closer, her legs clenching even tighter around him as he sped up his movements.

A quick kiss across her lips and then her forehead were all he allowed as he returned to his position hovering above her. Sam wanted to watch. He needed to see visual proof that all he was feeling about her was real. Her eyes fluttered shut and her hands slid down his shoulders to his arms as she met every thrust, every stroke, instinctive, almost practiced, sure evidence they had done this before. Then she grabbed him by the ears pulling him downward to plunder his mouth with kisses and bites, pushing him closer to the edge with each taste of her tongue. They had definitely done this before. Words of love smeared across his lips, down his neck, as she held him tighter, encouraging him to take more from her.

"I won't break," she said against his ear. "Don't hold back."

So he didn't, unleashing all that he had contained. All these weeks of denied attraction and secret longing to be with her in this way were imprinted on her body as he gripped her hips tightly, thrusting into her body. And Mercedes took it all, her frame accepting his passionate aggression and giving her own back in return. He looked down at her, his little nurse, his wife, the woman that constantly surprised him, as he brushed the hair out of her face. Mercedes smiled as he continued to stare, shy and sweet, flushing a hint of pink all over her pretty brown skin.

Sam let his head fall against hers as he slowed his pace. Her arms encircled him in an embrace, rubbing his back, and he smiled feeling so completely content in that moment. She trembled beneath him almost mouthing his name against his cheek, over and over as waves of pleasure slid over her. Following close behind, holding her hips, his lips pressed to her throat, shuddering against her. Never letting him go, still locking him in her embrace, she told him he was wanted and loved and missed softly against his ear. He relaxed, his body spent while his racing heart struggled to slow. Rolling onto his back, bringing her with him, to settle on his chest, he held her there, arms about her planting kisses into her hair.

"Beth's going to be up soon. Almost sunrise," Mercedes said against his chest. She sounded tired.

"Maybe we can watch it together, the three of us," Sam suggested.

"Really?" she asked looking up at him. "You know I wanted to do that, I hoped that we would get the chance but I never…Do you really want to?"

Her shock at his request twisted his gut. What a jerk he'd been to her. Her reaction was indisputable evidence that his attitude over the past few weeks had taken a toll, if something as simple as watching the sun come up seemed like an impossible feat to her.

"I really want to." He kissed the top of her head, as he held her against his chest. "I've missed so many sunrises with you. I'm so sorry. I promised to always be here with you at the hospital."

That night in the dark, when she had cried out for him in her sleep, frightened by some unknown horror in her dream, he had meant every promise he had made. Then he was so determined to find a way to help her never have a restless night sleep again. So quickly he had discarded all of that, choosing to focus on Beth and Quinn, tossing her aside like she didn't even matter, but she did matter, then and now. He had just been too afraid to acknowledge it. The part of himself that had fallen for his nurse, a complete stranger at the time, was banished to the far corners of his mind.

"It's okay." She squeezed him around the middle. "I'm not going to hold you to that promise. You made it before you knew about Beth and Quinn being sick."

"Mercedes don't let me off the hook. Okay?" He held her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him, desperate for her to believe his words. "I need to make things right with you, especially after all you've agreed to do for me. I owe you so much."

No more running. She had agreed to give him nine months of her life to help Quinn and he was going to do the same for her. Greeting the sunrise each day, with a sweet, beautiful woman at first seemed like a small price to pay for keeping Quinn free, but now he knew it wasn't even about repaying a debt, he enjoyed Mercedes's company and selfishly he didn't mind this opportunity to be around her without all the guilt. Above anything else he considered her a friend, he liked her, she made him laugh, and more than that, he trusted her.

"If you want to make things right, then promise me you won't leave me again. No getting sick, no more comas, no letting each other go, stay here with me and let's go back to the way things used to be."

Sam let out a deep breath as he dropped his hands from her face. They had been down this road so many times already. Mercedes just couldn't seem to let the idea go of him poofing back to the way he used to be.

"I don't remember that life Mercedes."

"You could remember if you wanted to, if you tried harder," she said starting to cry. "We planned to spend our lives together, start a family, you promised me this wonderful future and I believed you. How could you forget all our plans?"

"I'm so sorry." His throat went dry and his voice cracked as he answered her. He'd do anything to make this stop, but he had nothing to offer but apologies.

"How could you forget me? You loved me Sam. You said I was the love of your life. You have to remember me. Please Sam you have to. Just try."

Tears began to fall as she wrapped her hands around his neck, pulling him to her level, begging him to comply. She wanted him to feel something, say something he couldn't and he wasn't going to lie to her, not after all this. It pained him that he was the cause of her devastation, the hell she probably felt daily at the lack of recognition in his eyes. So many times he wished their circumstances were different, but there was nothing he could do to change that. She had to learn to adjust to him, just as he had to her. This was their life now.

"I have been trying," he insisted. "There's just nothing there."

Mercedes had been right earlier when she donned her psychic hat and proclaimed he wanted to escape with his nurse. He did want that, being with her when he finally allowed himself to give in to his attraction and admit his feelings, was so freeing. He could just be a man who met a girl that he liked and he could act on it. No amnesia, no disappointed wife, no mother of his daughter that was ill and suffering, he could simply be a man making love to a woman. It had been so perfect and so right with her, but now she was crashing the real world into his oasis, forcing him to face all the pain he had briefly managed to escape.

"Can't you feel the love between us? It's still there. I know it is. The way you just made love to me was the same as it used to be. You feel it. I know you do."

Never would he have asked to be married to someone he didn't know while harboring a love so deep for another. The sane part of him should have got up off the floor long ago or even more accurately should have never stepped foot in the bedroom at all. But Sam had always been ruled by his emotions when it came to women and the truth was he wanted this to happen. One way or another he knew he was going to finish what was started between them at the hospital. It was something separate from Quinn, before he even knew there was any hope for them. It was new and enticing and completely about him alone.

"I feel a connection to you, but it's not from the past, it's from when we were in the hospital. Everything I'm feeling is from there. Can't that be enough for now?"

"I want to be more than just your nurse."

How could she diminish herself so completely? When had she ever truly been just a nurse to him? He had looked forward to seeing her at the hospital, absolutely enjoyed her company and once he broke down in front of her revealing his weakness, she became even more important to him. She was his confidante, his light, the one person during that confusing time he could look to for strength and support. Never was she just a nurse in his eyes.

He kissed her hoping he could make her feel physically all he didn't say. "You are. We will figure all of this out. I promise you that."

"What happens at the end of the year when all this stuff with your father is over? You won't need me anymore and…"

"Hey, hey, stop this," he said leaning near her face. Sam hoped that his proximity would distract her from the train of thought she had been pursuing. "Don't get upset we were having such a nice time together."

Hugging her to him, he rubbed her back, saying soft and soothing words to help her calm down. Choking sobs slowly became sniffles as she relaxed. Smoothing the hair back from her face he looked at her wide sad eyes, Sam kissed her cheeks and rubbed away the last of her tears with his thumbs. He wanted her to be happy with him, the realization suddenly coming over him like a chill. He wanted Mercedes to accept the man in front of her, to love this version of him and not wish for his past self to appear. She had made love to him without his memory, without all the supposed improvements to his character he had made over the years, and she had liked it, begged him not to stop, pleaded with him to do it again. All her tears for the Sam she had lost were unfounded, unnecessary angst added to their already complicated lives, all she had to do was just open her eyes and accept him as he was now.

"It is nice right now," she agreed, turning her sad eyes on him. "But one day you're going to up and leave me for Quinn."

She brought up Quinn, further shattering his self-created dome of calm. Keeping Quinn out of his head had been crucial once things got physical with Mercedes. Sam didn't want to think about what his choices would mean to Quinn, not yet. He still was relishing this gift he had given himself but Mercedes wouldn't let it be, relentlessly bringing up all the ways Quinn made things between them seem impossible.

"We don't know what the future will hold." He wasn't sure what the next hour would hold. Lying on the floor with her, semi covered by a coat was the last place he ever would have predicted he'd be last night.

"Don't lie to me Sam. You already got laid so the least you can do is be honest with me. Do I even have a chance of holding onto you? Or are you just counting down the days until you can be with Quinn?" she asked jutting out her chin and folding her arms across her body.

If only he had the strength to just pull himself up and walk away. Sam couldn't even stop himself from touching her, so he wasn't confident in his abilities to up and leave for some nine month deadline. He was in deeper than he cared to admit. This wasn't just sex between them. She was fulfilling an emotional need, something that was missing in other areas of his life, missing with Quinn. Sam wasn't sure if it was that it felt like Mercedes was sort of a stranger and she gave him that exciting sense of anonymity of being with someone that didn't know him well or if it was the opposite and it was her complete devotion, her unadulterated expressions of love, that left him feeling more needed and wanted than anytime he could remember in his life, but either way she was different than Quinn and some part of him liked it.

None of that changed how he felt for Quinn though. He still loved her, and it felt like that would always be the case. His future seemed only filled with her when he thought about his goals and dreams. Finally they had arrived at their big chance, their turn to grab love and keep it, and he didn't want to let any of that pass them by this time. But where did that leave his current wife so sweet and loving and so hard to let go?

Sam dragged his hand through his hair in frustration, he didn't want to think of this now, the sun wasn't even up. There was still time to hide away with Mercedes before he had to face the light of day. He just needed to stop her talking and get her back to living in the moment with him.

"All right that's it," he declared standing up. Sam scooped Mercedes into his arms.

"What? What are you doing? Put me down."

She protested loudly as he carried her out of the closet and into the bedroom, but she didn't put up a fight, instead she held on around his neck and let him do his will. Another clue about his wife, sometimes she was more bark than bite. He filed that away too, before he unceremoniously dumped her in the middle of the bed and then climbed in next to her.

"We are back in our bed, and you know the rule."

"You don't think you can just shut me up do you? I don't care about the rules, I want you to answer me about Qui…"

He cut her off with a kiss, unrelenting, demanding she respond, and she did, sighing into his mouth, opening herself to him and letting him kiss her deeper. He pulled away leaving her breathing hard and very flushed. Sam smiled down at his handiwork, stroking her bare breast gently. "It's only about us here." Mercedes tried to utter a protest but he squashed it with his fingertips, swirling around her nipple, making her shudder quietly in his arms. He'd have to remember that move. He just might have found the off switch to get her to stop her endless talking. "Like I said before, I don't know about the future. I'm trying to take each day as it comes. And I know I have been so hot and cold with you, sending you all kinds of mixed messages and that's why you don't trust me. I get it, and I'm going to do my best to fix that. I know who you are to me now." He kissed her softly. "My wife." He kissed her again. "Mo anam cara."

"But she's the one you love," she said as she stroked his arm.

"Shhh. Am I going to have to take you over my knee?" he asked rubbing her butt to emphasize his point. "You're being such a bad girl."

He gave her butt a gentle smack that earned him a warning glance which wasn't threatening at all. His wife didn't fool him, she liked it, he could tell by the way her whole body flushed, the way she wormed herself nearer to him, subtly hinting he could do it again and he was tempted to, just so he could take pleasure in her reaction. She was so expressive, with her soft little noises, and the way she bit her lower lip and pulled on his hair. The more Sam pondered how she could possibly react to a full out spanking the more aroused he became. Sadly there wasn't enough time to indulge in his little erotic experiment with her. The sun was almost up and Beth was sure to follow.

"It's hard not to talk about her," she said continuing on about Quinn. "She has pretty much taken over my life. It's like she's a dark cloud that follows me everywhere."

"She's not here now," Sam said rolling her from her side to her back so he could place kisses all over her rounded stomach. She was so engrossed in her questions about Quinn that she didn't seem to notice him moving her about the bed like a blowup doll.

"Not even in your head?" she asked still not letting go of the topic even as she let out little sighs every time his lips made contact with her skin.

"It's just me and you," he replied covering her body with his own, careful not to put all his weight on top of her. "That's all I'm thinking about right now."

"Liar."

"No I'm not. Do you feel that?" he asked rubbing his hard length along her inner thigh. "All you. You're the one that has me tingling all over." He trailed kisses along her neck. "You and those incredible lips. Come here," he said with one hand on the nape of her neck and the other roaming her curves, he kissed away all remnants of their conversation and hopefully her lingering doubts.

"You can't kiss your way out of this," she said turning her head trying to flee his lips.

"Oh I think I can. Watch me," he said closing his eyes moving in toward her mouth again. He felt her hands on his cheeks, pulling him toward her, initiating the kiss, claiming she wanted him to stop while drawing him in at the same time.

"Sam please…" she moaned kissing him again before he could respond.

"Please what?" he asked when he moved from her lips to her neck to the delicate curve of her collarbone, giving tiny pecks to the small almost heart shaped scar that resided there. "Give you round four? Okay, if you insist."

Coaxing her legs apart with the rocking of his hand, one finger then two gently stroked her moist core. Arching her back, she moved closer to his fingers urging him to continue his exploration. She was warm and willing, inviting him to go deeper. Mercedes ran her hand down his arm, eyes unfocused as a small smile blossomed on her face. Sam dipped his head between her thighs replacing his fingers with his tongue, one long stroke and she shivered under him, little whimpers as he licked along her folds again. Pulling at his hair, moving her hips in that frenzied dance that comes at the brink of pure pleasure, Sam draped his arm across her lower half holding her steady while he continued to leisurely kiss her softness. Mercedes was sweet all over just as he imagined. Sam couldn't get enough of now that he had let himself indulge in his desire for her. The way she said his name breathless and panting only fueled his need to make her lose control. And soon she did with one hand in her hair and the other clamped on his shoulder, tattooing his skin with her fingertips.

"Sam...that was..." She paused catching her breath gathering her thoughts. "You are..."

"No you are," he said kissing her lips and giving her a hint of her own sweetness. "You are everything I imagined."

She gave him a puzzled look. "I still can't believe you thought about me, about being with me. I mean not when you have Qui..."

"Remember the rules," he warned putting a finger to her lips. She sucked it in her mouth, giving it a quick swirl of her tongue, making him momentarily lose his train of thought. "That tongue of yours," he said in a huskier tone as his eyes shut. One more minute of this and he'd have to have her again, so he removed his finger and backed away from her. Distance might be the only thing that could save them now.

"I wish you didn't have to go to see your dad," she said nestling into his side. So much for distance, they were wrapped in each other once more. "We could stay in bed all day."

"Well my dad is in Nashville with Beiste, but one call to my mom to come get Beth and I think that a day in bed could be arranged."

Mercedes shook her head. "No your dad got in last night. He's here for your birthday breakfast tradition."

"I didn't know that."

"Well you were busy with...with her and..." The sentence faded on her lips, but Sam knew what she was referring to. Quinn, and everything that went down with her last night.

"Yeah the night sort of ended abruptly after that." He still wasn't ready to think about that in any great detail. A part of him wished it was just a terrible nightmare that he would soon wake from.

Mercedes sat up and pulled the blanket around her body before she stood up and took a few steps back from the bed.

"Look Sam I know you had a hard night finding out about Beth and everything and I get that this." She stuttered, her eyes falling to her feet. "That this thing that happened between us was about that and not really about us and that it didn't really mean anything to you."

"Why would you say that?" he asked his eyes widening, genuinely shocked by her words. After all they'd talked about, all they shared with each other tonight, how could she still think he didn't care about her? "I told you I care about you and that I have been fighting my attraction to you for so long."

"Yeah but you only lost your fight because you were hurt over Quinn." Mercedes said staring down at her feet, clutching the blanket tightly around her body. "It wouldn't have happened otherwise," she added so sad and low it almost broke him.

"You don't know that, hell I don't know that. I wanted to make love to you on a couch in the middle of my party. I think it's safe to say I have been losing this battle for a long time."

Was it curiosity or pure lust? Sam wasn't sure what kept drawing him toward Mercedes, all he knew was that the pull was constant and persistent and didn't seem likely to end anytime soon. Finally getting to be with her, certainly hadn't lessened his attraction, if anything it might have increased it.

"Yeah but..."

"No buts," he said reaching out for her hand. She took it and laced her fingers through his but didn't sit back on the bed. "I don't regret what happened between us and it wasn't about Quinn. Hey look at me." He squeezed her hand getting her to look up. "I made love to my wife tonight that means something to me."

"What does it mean?" she asked with a puzzled look on her face.

He was being vague, it wasn't on purpose, he just didn't know how to articulate all he was feeling to himself, let alone to her.

"I don't know but suddenly shit got real. My whole life just changed and I can't go back to how I was yesterday. I have to deal with this."

That revelation terrified him. The choices he had made were going to completely alter his life. Just out of a coma and already he was turning his world upside down. Things seemed so much simpler last night when he was with Quinn before the party, planning their future. Back then his biggest concern was getting Mercedes to stay married to him to keep Quinn free, now things seemed to have reversed and he had to worry about Quinn sticking by him while he spent more time with his wife. Sam wanted to believe she would do it. Quinn had brought up the possibility of not acting on their feelings until after nine months had passed in the first place, so maybe she would understand why he now agreed with that idea.

"I won't tell Quinn about what happened you don't have to worry," she said in a voice that sounded so small.

She was shrinking away right in front of him. Her shoulders were slumped and her hair had fallen into her face, shielding her from view. Where had the brave fiery girl that had constantly called him out on his crap gone?

"Mercedes why would you say that? Do you think I'm ashamed of you?"

She bit her lower lip, looking everywhere but at him. "Well you've asked me to keep quiet before with Rachel and I just figured since you want Quinn and not me..."

"Oh God," he said under his breath. He was paying for crimes he didn't even remember committing. Bracing himself for the tears he knew would be in her eyes, he tried to make things right, to make her understand. "You know I don't remember what happened between us while I was with Rachel, but by the bits and pieces I have heard, I can tell I was an ass then and I'm sorry. I don't know why you even gave me another chance after all that, but thank you." He kissed the back of her hand. "All of that stuff is in the past, and we need to focus on the present. Things are different now. We're married."

Finally she looked at him, all the tears he feared shining in her eyes as she said, "But you don't want to be."

"Don't put words in my mouth." Sam pulled Mercedes to sit on the bed, their entwined hands on her lap. From behind he rested his chin on her bare shoulder. "We have nine months together to figure things out. I don't know what's going to happen but I know I can't ignore the reality of my life anymore."

He let go of her hand and turned her by her shoulders to face him. She looked scared of what he might say as she worried her lower lip. Everything in him wanted to ease her fears. He knew he had Quinn waiting for him at the hotel expecting him to keep all the promises he made and he wanted to, desperately, but he had created this complication for himself, maybe it had always been there and he wouldn't allow himself to see it, at any rate now he could no longer ignore the truth. He had a wife that he was attracted to and wanted to get to know and he and Quinn could have no future until he dealt with that.

"What reality?"

"The reality of you and me, there's something between us and that scares me because my feelings haven't changed for Quinn and I don't know what to do about..." He gestured toward her with his hand as he sat up on the edge of the bed beside her, struggling to find the right words to explain all of his jumbled thoughts. "About this…" Exhaling deeply, still unable to make his point, he faltered. "Is it crazy that I have feelings for both of you?" he asked more to himself than to her.

Fingers fluttered through his hair before she kissed his forehead, gracing him with a small smile. "You're breaking the rules my Sammy," she warned wagging a finger at him.

"Sorry," he smiled, leaning against her shoulder. A calmness overtook him when he realized Mercedes was going to let it go, allowing him to remain in his confusion a while longer without pressing him to make any concrete decisions.

"I understand you know?" He gave her a confused look. "I do. I've had a divided heart before. I know how hard it is to deal with."

"So what did you do? How did you handle it?"

"Badly. I tried to run from my feelings and I lied to everyone, including myself. I think if I had been honest sooner so much pain could've been avoided."

"I want to be honest with you. Always from now on. Can we do that?"

"Yeah we can do that," she agreed giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Good." Sam got up and walked to the dresser, opening the drawer to find a pair of boxer briefs. "So I'm going to get in the shower," he said pulling on the boxers. "Then maybe we get Beth up and watch the sun?"

"Sounds good. Let me just grab you a towel," she said heading toward the closet. Mercedes' cellphone rang on the dresser. She picked it up as she walked by and glanced at the screen.

"Who is that calling at this hour?" Sam asked. Phones ringing before daybreak usually meant something bad.

"Oh," she hesitated a moment, as if she were hiding something and was trying to come up with a cover story. "It's Kurt," she said suddenly, with a short burst of laughter that ended as soon as it began. "He's probably just checking up on me."

Sam relaxed, shaking his head. He had to stop being so paranoid and remember not everyone was against him, especially not Mercedes. She had proven herself to him a few times over at this point.

"Does he know what time it is?"

"He knows I rarely sleep so..." She tapped her fingers against her phone.

Sam felt like she was trying to get rid of him, maybe she wanted to talk to Kurt about what just happened between them, not that he relished the thought of his little cousin knowing about his sexual exploits, but he was close to Mercedes so Sam doubted there would be any way to avoid it.

"That's about to change. I'm going to make sure you get some rest from now on, so tell Kurt no more calls at all hours," he said going into the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

Once inside, Sam leaned against the door, closing his eyes as his heart started to race like a panic attack building. What had he just done? In one conversation he had completely changed the course of his life. He had crossed the line he had been tightrope walking with Mercedes. Once he agreed to spend the night he knew it was over and then there was the sex. Sam turned to look at himself in the mirror. Scratches were visible on his chest, his arms, he could only imagine what his back looked like and his neck - multiple hickeys like he was back in high school. There was no hiding this except with a turtleneck.

No backing out now, he really was going to follow his father's deal to the letter and act like a married man. How was he going to explain this to Quinn? She had been the one to encourage him to do this in the first place but that was before their plans, their shared dreams, the declarations of love. She loved him now and freely admitted it. This was new territory for them, something a few hours ago he was eager to explore. Then he spent all that time with Mercedes at his party and things started to change, as much as he didn't want to admit it at the time, the idea of leaving his wife was becoming unthinkable. Then Quinn told him she loved him and that meant so much. He'd waited years to hear those words from her, but was it enough to change his feelings for Mercedes? Because he had them, he could admit that now. Sam liked her, he wanted her, and being around Quinn had yet to lessen those feelings.

This was going to break Quinn's heart he just knew it. But what could he do? He made the choice to sleep with Mercedes, repeatedly, and it changed things for him. His priorities had to shift now to include Mercedes too, the way they should have all along. His wife's feelings mattered to him now and he wasn't willing to break her heart yet again, not even for Quinn, not after all Mercedes had agreed to do for them. He owed Mercedes this. He owed himself this too, because before he decided to walk away from his marriage for good, he needed to be sure it was the right choice. It wasn't every day that he found a woman he could trust completely and that had his back through anything.

Quinn would understand, he hoped, in time, and things would all work out as they should. Now there was so much more at stake for the both of them. They were parents, they had to make responsible choices, Beth's life depended on it. Quinn had to get well. She seemed fine for the most part and Kali had assured him she was on the mend, but after she told him about what she did to Beth and her reaction during that admission, Sam had some doubts. Maybe Quinn needed more time to fully heal, and now she would get the chance to do that, focus on herself while he focused on the aspects of his life he had forgotten.

His platinum wedding band glinted in the mirror, like a flare warning of impending doom ahead. Sam looked down at his hand, running his finger over the smooth metal, a chill ran through his body. How could he have ever contemplated a happily ever after with Quinn when Mercedes' heart would be shattered in the process? What once was simply a casualty of their twisted fates, easily brushed aside with feigned indifference and denial, was now front and center in his mind. Hurting Mercedes in any way seemed unthinkable to him now, after the intimacy they had just shared. Beyond sex they had forged a bond, stronger than what they had created in the hospital. He had let her in, given her his trust, allowed her to take up residence in his heart, after all his fervent denials. How could he just forget all that and selfishly move ahead with his plans to be with Quinn? It seemed wrong now to get close to her while planning to walk away. But what about Quinn? A future and a family with her and Beth was everything he had ever wanted, all of his dreams so close to finally being beautifully realized. The life he had with Mercedes before the accident couldn't have meant more to him than what he wanted to have with Quinn now. Could it have?

Stepping into the shower, the water as cold as he could stand, he prayed for the courage to face Quinn and talk about her health and what happened with Beth. All his agonizing over sleeping with his wife and his romantic future with Quinn were really nothing in the wake of what had happened to his child. Keeping Beth's life stable was most important. He couldn't let his confusion and personal issues mess her up. Easier said than done though. Sam had pretty much been a lifelong screw-up and being comatose for months hadn't seemed to change that. What was he going to do next? Typical for him, nothing was ever simple in his life. Only hours into the day and it looked like his 29th birthday was off to a bumpy start.