Our stay in Winterfell is coming to an end. Robert announced last night that we would start our journey back to Kings Landing in two days' time. And I am not sure how I feel about that.
I really did like it here. Kings Landing was still my home, but… Casterly Rock should have been my home. And yet, Winterfell felt more like home than Casterly Rock ever did. There was this indescribable freedom here in Winterfell. One that I have never felt before and I doubt I will ever feel again.
The only thing I missed here was the sun and Gendry. And that is all. Everything else was just something that I could live without. And I know, once I leave Winterfell, I will miss much more than I initially thought I would. I will miss the people. The lovely family that made me feel welcome here every single day. Most of all, I will miss Jon, not knowing if I'll ever see him again. Once I marry some unlucky man, I will make him take me here again. But I will probably only find Robb here at that point, not everyone.
I suppose I should be happy. At least I won't be that lonely in Kings Landing anymore. Arya and Sansa are going there with Lord Stark. I suppose life there will be a lot more fun with Arya next to me.
I continued reading my book, as always, leaning on one of the towers, enjoying my peace and quiet. I was in the middle of a page when something small, but not that harmless fell on my head. As it fell down on the ground, I could see it was a small rock. I looked up, and as soon as I did, my heart dropped.
Bran Stark, little Bran Stark was holding on for his dear life in the middle of a very, very high tower.
-Brandon Stark!-I yelled, not even trying to remember that I am not his mother.-What in the name of the Gods do you think you're doing up there?!-I asked. And he smiled. Yes, he just smiled at me.
-Don't worry Elena.-he yelled down with a smile.-I've done it before.-he said. I was literally shaking.
-Bran, get down here this instant. I know I am not your family, but don't do this again. You almost stopped my heart, I can only imagine what would happen to your mother.-I said, slowly calming down.
-I can jump from here.-he said when he was only a few feet away from the ground. I shook my head.
-Do not even think about that. I will catch you.-I said. I took him into my arms, and he smiled at me.-I am very glad that you are good at climbing, but please don't do that anymore. I would hate to see what would happen if Lady Catelyn saw you like that.-I said, and he smiled at me.
-Mother knows. She doesn't like it, but she knows that she can't really stop it.-he said, and I laughed. Gods, he is such a handful! I admire Lady Catelyn. She has nerves of steel when it comes to Bran and Arya. I never thought about what my children would be like, but I can only hope that they are not like the Starks. As smart and kind as they are, I don't want to find my son climbing up the towers.
-Words can't describe how scared I got.-I said and Bran giggled.-I'm taking you to the castle now. I can't leave you in close proximity of one of the towers.-I added, and he giggled yet again. As we were approaching the castle, I could see Lady Catelyn outside. I was hoping we won't run into her. Damn.
-Lady Elena, what has happened?-she asked when she saw me, carrying her son. I managed a smile.
-Everything is alright Lady Catelyn.-I said with the same small smile on my face.-Bran only frightened me a little bit, but it is all alright.-I said, and I could see in her face that she understood exactly what Bran did and why I reacted the way I did. Come to think of it, I do not understand why I reacted like I did. Like he was my family, not just a child I know. I would have reacted the same way if it was Tommen climbing the tower, and I was in his life since his birth. I really did grow to care for the Stark children.
-Brandon, I beg of you, do not do it again.-she said in a serious voice, and her son nodded. He is lying. I know it, he knows it, and even Lady Stark knows it.-Now go find your brother.-she said, and I finally let Bran go. He ran off.-I don't know what to do with him. Thank you Lady Elena. Gods know what could have happen if you weren't there.-she said, and I smiled.
-Nothing would have happened Lady Catelyn, he is very skilled. But I still think that he shouldn't do it. And please, call me Elena. I feel very uncomfortable if you use my title.-I admitted, and she smiled.
-Only if you call me Catelyn.-she suggested, and I nodded.-And thank you Elena. Not just for today. For everything. I've seen how much time you have spent with my children, especially Arya. I am sure you had other things to do, and yet you still found time to spend with here. It means a lot to her, it really does.-she said, and I could almost feel myself melting. I didn't even think Lady Stark liked me at all.
-It is an honor Catelyn.-I said with a small smile.-I have fun with them and I enjoy spending my time with them. You have truly amazing children.-I said, and I could see the pride in her. She really did a good job.
-Thank you.-she said with a small smile. There was something off in the way she looked at me now.
-Is something wrong?-I asked, thinking that I have something on my face or something like that.
-No. I was just surprise to realize that you have a really big hart.-she said, and I smiled. She does like me!
-I don't know how that happened. I suppose I am the apple who fell far away from the tree.-I said, and she laughed.-In any case, you have no need to worry. I enjoy spending time with them. Robb is a friend of mine, and I recognize myself in both Arya and Bran. Rickon is the sweetest creature I have ever met, and I feel a sense of duty toward Sansa considering her betrothal to Joffrey.-I said in a low voice. I knew she understood what I meant. She is not an idiot, she knew very well who her daughter was to marry.
-Elena, may I be direct with you?-she asked, and I nodded. She took my by the hand and pulled me along with her to an secluded part of the courtyard, probably so that no one can hear us.-I need to ask you for a favor.-she said, and I nodded.-Look after them. Look after my family. Especially after Sansa. Since you've arrived, I could see the way things work in Kings Landing and I know that you are the only one I could trust with this. You are not like the rest of them. You're the only one who understands where exactly are they going and you're the only one they can trust. Protect them. Don't let Sansa forget who she really is. And where she came from. Keep them safe, and don't let that place swallow her.-she said in a low voice. I could feel the pain in every word she spoke. I will never understand her fear and pain, not until I'm a mother as well. But I can only imagine how it feels. And I wish I never get to feel it.
-You have my word Catelyn.-I said, and I took her by the hand. I saw the tears in her eyes and it didn't take me long to realize that my sight was clouded too.-Everything I do will be done to help them. I have always felt that I was wrong in the wrong family. At least now I can do something good because of that mistake. As long as I live and breathe, I will protect them like they're my own blood. Even more, considering that I love them more than the once with my blood in them.-I added, slightly ashamed that I cared more for… well, for strangers, new friends at least, more than I ever cared for my own family.
-Thank you.-she said, again, honesty in every word. Now we were both crying. She knows she can trust me and I know I will do my best to prove to her that her trust wasn't in vain. She hugged me. My mother never had a chance to hug me, and my sister never wanted to hug me. But when Lady Catelyn hugged me, I felt something. I felt that that was the way a mother's hug should feel like.
-Lady Elena, what are you doing here?-Lord Stark asked me as he saw me approaching. Everyone had heard his voice, and now the whole hunting party looked at me. I was in pants, not in a dress, and my hair was in a braid. And I was bringing my horse, Shadow. I am going hunting.
-I decided to join you today Lord Stark.-I said with a smile, and I could see the surprised looks.
-You again girl.-the King said in an annoyed voice. He smiled though. He's already used to this.
-What is the problem Your Grace? You don't believe that I could handle this?-I asked with a smile. He frowned. After staring at me for a few moments, he started laughing, and he was joined by the rest.
-Damn you and your talent girl! You're better than me!-he said, and I could only smile. He knows he can't stop me now.-Alright, you can join us. But stay around Grayjoy and Ned's boy. I don't want your sister complaining if something happens to you.-he said, and I laughed. Yes, like she would complain.
-Thank you, Your Grace.-I said before taking a bow. I climbed on Shadow, and made my way to where Theon and Robb were. I would have preferred not to have guardians today, but I suppose I should just be lucky I'm allowed to go at all. And if I do have to have guardians, these two are the best choice.
-You really are a crazy girl.-Theon said, and I just smiled. Yes, yes I am. And I am proud of it.
-I am glad you are joining us, but I am afraid that Arya will want to do so too.-Robb said, and I smiled.
-Maybe you should allow her to. With proper training, she would be better than half the Kings Guard. Speaking of such…-I trailed off as soon as I saw my older brother approaching us.-You won't be joining us Jaime?-I asked, a little bit surprised. Tyrion is going; I expected that Jaime would be coming too.
-No, I have some work to do. Do be careful Elena.-he said, and I rolled my eyes.
-I always am brother.-I said as he was walking away from us. Finally, there was no more chance to talk, as we were heading towards the woods. It wasn't the best hunt in history. We only managed to hunt down to stags. I killed one of them with a single arrow. As always, I felt immensely proud of myself, especially when I saw the surprised looks of the men who saw me kill it. And only moments after, I felt guilt hitting me like a strong wave. I killed an innocent animal. I did it because we need to eat, not for fun, whatever the men thought. I enjoy hunting because I can show them that I too can be as dangerous as they are, not because I enjoy killing animals. Even if I felt it often, I never allowed guilt to get the best of me. I started thinking about something else, and soon enough, I was perfectly fine.
Until we arrived back to Winterfell. Sansa was the one who came running. Bran fell of a tower and is not waking up. I barely contained back the tears, and I was not sure why I did so.
Two days later, all was ready for us to leave. The only thing I had to do was to say goodbye to our hosts.
Jon left the day before, so I already had my goodbyes with him. I made him promise to write to me. And if he doesn't, I will go to the Wall myself, and demand an explanation. He said that he would write.
Sansa and Arya are going with us, so there were no goodbyes there. After I hugged Rickon for about half an hour, I only had Robb and Bran to say goodbye to. And Lady Catelyn. So I went to Bran's room.
He still did not wake up. The Maestar said that he will probably wake up.
-Forgive me.-I said as Catelyn jumped when I entered Bran's room. For three days, she didn't leave his side, not once.-I came to say goodbye.-I said, and she nodded, forcing a small smile. She looked like she was already dead. I could not bear to look at her being in such pain, so I looked at little Bran, who was sound asleep. I took his hand. Summer, his direwolf, only sniffed for a second, before he decided that I was not a threat. Almost all of the direwolfs are used to me, especially Robb's Gray Wind.-Bran, I am so sorry I cannot say goodbye to you properly.-I said in a low voice.-But I leave without fear. Without fear for you, because I know you're a strong boy. No, a man. You are a strong man. And you are a Stark. You will find the courage to fight this, and there is no doubt in my mind that soon enough, you will be running around Winterfell again.-I said, and before I could have any control off it, tears filled my eyes. A sob made me turn around. Lady Catelyn was crying.-I gave you a promise, and I intend to keep it. You should expect my letters. Your family is my family.-I said, trying as hard as I could not to cry.
-I will never be able to repay you Elena. I wouldn't be calm if you are not with them.-she whispered.
-There is no need to repay me. It is my duty.-I said, and I went over to her to hug her.-Save you strength. Bran will need you when he wakes up. Do not worry about your husband and daughters. I am to worry about them now.-I said. I felt some strange feel of closeness with her. Like she could understand something about me that no one else could. She must have felt it to. She kissed me on the cheek.
-Thank you Elena. Take care of them, and of yourself. You are so much more than just a Lannister.-she said quietly and I smiled. I hugged her once more, and I left the room. As soon as I closed the door behind me, I leaned onto the wall, and I started crying. I can't remember if I ever cried more than now.
They do not deserve it. The Starks are by far the best people I have ever met. They are kind and they are honorable and they do not deserve this to be happening to them. This is just… it's just not right.
-Elena? Are you alright?-I heard a voice and I knew it was Robb. I was quick to wipe my tears away.
-Perfect. Never better. -I said with a forced smile.-I was here to say goodbye to your mother and Bran. And I was just about to look for you.-I said, and he smiled. I could see the worry behind it.-Robb, he will be just fine. He will wake up, I am sure of it.-I said. Ever since I heard that he fell, I hadn't stop thinking about it. He knew what he was doing when I saw him climb. It just seemed so… surreal.
-I know. That I do not doubt. I was more worried about his fall.-he said, and I sighed.
-So I am not the only one.-I whispered, and he looked at me with surprised. I practically jumped and rushed over towards him.-Robb, I saw him climb just a day before he fell. I saw him, and I saw how capable he was. He did not fall. I know it, I feel it.-I said quietly, hoping that no one else could hear us.
-I never believed in it.-he said, and I nodded. I knew I wasn't crazy!-I have my doubts about it.-he said, and I waited. Once he didn't share his doubts with me, it wasn't too difficult to guess what he had in mind. No. No. They couldn't. None of them. No way. He thinks it is someone from my family. I took in a deep breath. I wanted to defend him, but I wasn't sure I could.
-Robb, no.-I whispered.-Half of them were with us. And why would anyone of them want to hurt Bran? The only evil person amongst them is Cersei, and she could never hurt a child. She could never push a child into his death.-I whispered. I may not get along well with my older sister, but something's I am sure of. She is a mother herself. She could never do that. No. No way. Under no circumstances.
-Elena, what if he saw something? Something he shouldn't have seen?-he asked, and I sighed.
-Even if that were the truth, they wouldn't think that a solution is to push him of the tower. Robb, I do not believe in it. The guards were with us, as was Tyrion. Cersei and Jaime were here. Cersei could never do that, and I am sure Jaime would find a different solution. I know they are not exactly the kindest people out there, but they are not child assassins.-I whispered. Tears were finding their way back again.
-I am sorry I attack them before you Elena. And I am also sorry I doubt that they're innocent.-he said, and I just nodded. I can't blame him. His brother almost died. He is looking for answers.-My opinion of your family has nothing to do with my opinion of you Elena. You should know that.-he added.
-I know. That is why I hold none of this against you.-I said, and I managed a small smile.-I hope you do find out who did this. Even if it is someone from my family. I may not believe that they did this, but I know Bran didn't just slip and fall. I know it. I had seen him, and I know it. Find out who did this.-I said, and he nodded. I whipped my tears from my cheeks.-Well, I suppose this is it then Lord Stark. I have a long road ahead of me. It was nice seeing you again, even if I can't remember meeting you.-I said, and he smiled at me.-And I am sorry we didn't get a chance to throw snowballs at Joffrey.-I added with a smile, and he laughed. And honest laughter I did not get a chance to see too much these days.
-The pleasure was mine Lady Elena.-he said. He took my hand, and kissed it.-And I am sure we will have a chance for snowballs again.-he added as I was walking away from him. I turned around with a smile.
-Oh, I'm sure of it.-I said, with a smile which he returned.-I will be seeing you again Robb Stark.-I said. We exchanged one more smile, and then I left.
I have said my goodbyes to Winterfell, both out loud and in my thoughts. I was afraid that I will never see this place again. But if I happen to meet a man who is crazy enough to marry me, I will demand that we come here, at least only once more. If I am welcome here, that is.
As we were leaving, I was looking around. But not at the sights. I was looking at my brother. At my sister. At our gards. And I wondered if anyone of them would have been able to hurt Bran.
No, I don't think they would. There is no secret important enough that you will end a child's life for it.
I know them that much.
Ok, so this was chapter 8. And things are finally moving along. Be ready, the next chapter is going to be a big one. A BIG one. :)