Chapter 71
Running unexpectedly toward what felt like her last chance to grab the freedom that awaited inside that black car. Two police officers at her back shouting her name, ordering her to stop, but Quinn kept running, the wind ripping through her body, her feet heavy and awkward from her boots, but still she ran. The car was so close, exhaust streaming from its back like billowy bread crumbs in the air showing her the way. Then it moved, creeping slowly from its place by the curb, away from her, threatening to take the freedom Quinn promised with it. The officers' voices were closer now, sounding near enough to bristle the hairs on the back of her neck, she wasn't going to make it. She would be stuck, behind bars, or in a white room, away from Sam and Beth.
Dejected she slowed her pace, only jogging now, as she watched the car speed away. She reached the curb, her intended finish line, where she sunk, shoulders forward, head down. There was nothing left to do but give up. Why had she even deluded herself into thinking she could get away in the first place? She never got away. Quinn was always forced to wallow in her wretchedness. Each time she was sent away as a child, to a hospital or a group home, discarded, rejected. Her dreams of being a pop star were diminished by the unscrupulous and more talented. Love never lasted, though her belief in fairytales and happily ever afters never quite seemed to fade, until now, staring at the dark pavement where a sedan that almost felt like a chariot once waited.
"Why did you run off like that? Don't you know that when a cop tells you to stop, you do it? We would've been in our rights to shoot you," a voice said from behind her.
Quinn's shoulders slumped lower, a lone tear traveled down her face. Maybe they should have shot her, going back to the hospital, or worse jail, would be almost like dying anyway.
One of the officers roughly grabbed her by the arms, wrenching them behind her back, the cold metal of the handcuffs tightened around her wrists. Quinn didn't resist. Why should she? This had been her fate all along. Sam was never going to defeat his father. She should have never let herself believe otherwise. Dwight Evans hated her and wanted her gone and there was nothing anyone could do to change that.
Another officer, leaner, with light curls sticking out from under his navy wool cap stepped in front of her. He gave her a kind smile. "We just need to talk to you Ms. Fabray. There's nothing to be afraid of."
Quinn looked up at the man. She could tell he believed all he said, but he didn't know the truth, that there was so much to fear. The isolation inside the brightly lit halls of the hospital, the voices in her head telling her she was an awful, hateful person, the part of her that just wanted to curl up and die, Dwight Evans. There was so much to be afraid of in Quinn's world.
"We better get going," said the other cop as he yanked her arm and pulled her forward. Flanked on each side by the men they walked away from the curb and back toward the hotel.
Quickly Quinn looked over her shoulder, the small part of her that wouldn't let go, that couldn't give up on miracles, just to see if somehow that car had magically reappeared. It hadn't. She was alone in the dark with the two police officers and her uncertain fate.
Slowly Quinn pulled herself back to the present. What the hell had she been thinking trying to outrun the police? She couldn't even use drunk as an excuse, since she hadn't had that much champagne, so stupid it simply was. She had been stupid to think that anything about running off with a strange man was a good idea. Yet she'd done it so many times before. Running off with strange men seemed to be her solution of choice when she looked back over her life. Well maybe not all the men were strange, but she had definitely run off with them, trying to flee whatever it was that hurt her, worried her, kept her feeling trapped and stagnant. Men always seemed to be the answer, the escape plans that seemed like good ideas, only they never were, and each time Quinn was left worse off than she started. Tonight could have been another one of those times. Nothing about Brody Weston was a good idea, from his smarmy good looks, to his too smooth voice, to his all too convenient urge to help her out. Brody was another bad decision waiting to happen. Thank God her Ugg boots slowed her down. She could have been miles away from Lima heading toward nowhere, if she had been just a little faster.
Quinn looked around the office she had been left alone in. Will's office with wood paneling and wall to wall black metal file cabinets, this was her cell. She hadn't even been arrested. Once the officers got her down to the police station, the handcuffs were removed and she was swiftly ushered into the office away from all prying eyes. Since arriving all of her interaction had been with Emma Schuester, probably a perk of her association with the Evans family that she received even this little bit of special treatment. Emma was a social worker for the city of Lima and wife of the police commissioner, she didn't handle random non-arrests in the early hours of Saturday morning. Someone had made this happen, summoned her into work to see to Quinn's case personally.
The first person that popped into Quinn's mind was Sam. He had the means and connections to make sure she got treated with kid gloves at the police station, but Sam didn't even know she was there. Well now he probably did, thanks to all the cameras outside the hotel, but not before when she was trying to make her big escape. Quinn inwardly groaned as she once again thought about her stupidity at the hotel, acting like a fugitive when she hadn't even done anything wrong. Fear had made her flee, never wanting to be locked up again, dimmed her brain for a bit, but she was thinking clearly now, and she could plainly see her huge error in judgment. She should have stayed put and gone with the officers peacefully, but she hadn't and Quinn was sure she was going to pay some soon to be determined price for her actions.
The sun was starting to warm the sky, its glow breaking through the darkness of the night as Quinn watched it happen through the small opening of a bent Venetian blinds. Holding her breath she waited for the sun to fully fill the sky to bring on a new day, and hopefully soon Sam, since he had failed to arrive the night before. A part of her wished he wouldn't come, she didn't want to face him after this last stunt. What must he think of her especially now that he knew what had happened to Beth in the woods? Quinn was certain that his opinion of her had hit a new low. He was probably questioning everything he knew about her, their past, their friendship. She bet he was wondering what he ever saw in her in the first place. Quinn was certainly questioning it. The girl she used to be in high school, shy, awkward, just this side of nerdy, was so far removed from the woman she had become. The nerdy tendencies was gone, and she could work a room or a man like the best of them often shelving her brain to get ahead. Men were more impressed by a nice body than a strong intellect, at least the men she had encountered were. Music producers wanted her to look pretty and sound nice, not give them stimulating conversation. Now she desperately wanted that other girl back, she needed to be smarter and more self-reliant so she could get herself out of this current mess and the bigger one that loomed over her whole life, getting back to her baby.
Santana had made a good point earlier about standing on her own and not relying on a man. It was sound advice and soon she hoped to follow it, but with Dwight Evans pulling the puppet strings and screwing with her life, Quinn needed all the help she could get. And help in her world came from two men. Her first phone call had been to Artie. She wasn't too far gone not to realize that she needed her attorney to help her with all of this. Artie had arrived quickly, out of breath, as if he had run the whole way, and had immediately jumped into action trying to get answers and get her free. Artie was sweet and dedicated but Quinn knew that he was no match for Dwight Evans, so involving Sam was her only hope. She had been granted another special privilege, a second phone call that truly should have been denied.
Calling Mercedes had taken all of her strength, the last thing she wanted to do was talk to the girl and have to ask her for anything, but Quinn didn't want to risk disturbing the household by calling the main number, so she instead called Mercedes' cellphone and braced herself for what was certainly going to be unpleasant. The phone was answered but no one said anything. Quinn found herself repeating the word "Hello" into the receiver hoping that the connection wasn't bad. She wasn't sure if she would get a third special favor from the Lima PD. Finally Mercedes had responded almost whispering into the phone. She thought it was Will and she sounded concerned. It was only when she realized it was Quinn that Mercedes' attitude changed to her normal frosty demeanor. A strained conversation ensued where Mercedes did everything but call her a whore for daring to call Sam at home at such an early hour. Didn't matter to Mercedes that Sam shared a child with her, Mercedes didn't care that there could be a problem or some dire reason that Quinn needed Sam. All Mercedes focused on was that Quinn had called at all. It took every ounce of strength not to tell Mercedes off over the phone, but that would have been counterproductive, since speaking to Sam was the goal and Mercedes was the one blocking all access.
Quinn took a seat at the small round table in Will's office as she recalled her conversation with Mercedes.
"Will what's wrong?" Mercedes asked in a harsh whisper. "You are freaking me out calling at this hour."
"It's not Will." Quinn really didn't want to do this, feelings of dread were washing over her and the conversation had just begun.
"Quinn?" Mercedes asked sounding a bit shocked.
"Hi Mercedes sorry to disturb you, but I didn't have a choice. I really need to speak to Sam." Direct and to the point, hopefully Mercedes would respond in kind and quickly hand the phone over to Sam.
"Do you know what time it is?" So much for quick. Quinn could tell Mercedes was about to make things difficult.
"Yeah I do and again I'm sorry but it couldn't be helped. Can you put him on the phone please?" Quinn hoped she sounded as sweet and apologetic as she was trying to be. Really she wanted to tell Mercedes off and demand she put Sam on the phone, but Quinn knew an overdose of sweetness was the best way to handle a rabid animal like Mercedes.
"No I cannot," she huffed. Quinn could almost hear the steam coming out of the other woman's ears.
"Look Cede," Quinn started biting the inside of her cheek to help maintain a sense of calm. "I wouldn't have even bothered you but Sam doesn't have a phone and I know your number so..."
"So you were forced to bring your slutty ways out into the open instead of sneaking behind my back to hook up with my husband?"
One day she was going to make that girl pay for all the times she called her a slut, but now wasn't the time. Quinn had to keep it together so she could get to Sam. "There's no hooking up, no sneaking, I just need to speak to him," Quinn stated with continued forced sweetness.
"I know the whole story Quinn. Sam told me everything about how his father got you out of the hospital."
"I really appreciate all you're doing for me." Quinn rolled her eyes. "It means a lot that you're willing to help me out."
"I'm not doing it for you."
Cue the Mother Theresa act. Quinn could barely contain her nausea. "Of course. I know you don't care about me. Only Sam and Beth. I wasn't trying to presume so...uh...can you go get Sam now?"
"I already told you no."
"Mercedes I need him." There was a pause and then a slight crack. Quinn couldn't be sure but she suspected she had actually heard the sound of Mercedes' blood pressure rising. She had definitely said the wrong thing.
"You have some nerve calling here after everything you've done. Don't you have any shame? Sam was a mess when he showed up here last night."
"Finding out what happened to Beth was hard on him, but he had to know the truth."
"I know," Mercedes said, her tone softening. "I just hate seeing him hurt and he's been in pain a lot lately all because of you." She sniffled loudly, her voice thick with tears. "So no I can't give him the phone. Good -"
Oh my God she was going to hang up.
"Cede wait!"
"Stop calling me 'Cede' like we're friends!" she spat into the phone.
"Sorry, but please don't hang up on me. This is an emergency. I am at the police station and they are going to lock me up or send me back upstate I don't know but I need Sam to help me."
"Call your lawyer!"
"I already did, but the law is not going to be enough to save me, not with Dwight Evans behind it all."
Feeling the urge to put down the phone and cry, so frustrated by the conversation, by everything, Quinn felt so hopeless. Without Sam's help she would be out of options and there would be nothing to stop Dwight from locking her upstate for the rest of her life. That couldn't happen, thinking of Beth truly for maybe the first time that night, she willed herself to stay strong. Making silent vows that if Sam came through for her and helped her this last time, she would do everything in her power to put all of her focus on being a better mother to her daughter. All she needed was the chance.
"Why are you blaming Dwight?" Mercedes asked.
"Come on Mercedes, you know the rules of the deal he made with Sam. The picture that is all over the net is enough to make Dwight renege it all."
"Well good, you need to be sent back. They let you out too soon."
"I know you hate me and maybe I deserve it but I'm not a monster." She felt like she was begging and she hated it. But Quinn knew that it would always be this way until she proved to everyone that she could be trusted around her baby again. "I would never hurt Beth again I swear it. I just need a chance. That's all. Sam was giving me a chance and you promised you'd help him."
Silence. Quinn almost thought Mercedes had really hung up this time.
"Sam's in the shower," she said finally. "And you know how he gets when he's in there."
Actually Quinn didn't know. All the years of being a part of each other's lives never afforded them the opportunity to be so intimate. Sex and long talks they had done, but never had they lived together to know each other's habits and routines. That was something she had yet to experience with Sam.
"Maybe you can go get him?" Quinn suggested weakly. She wasn't trying to provoke the girl but it seemed like they had reached some sort of impasse in the conversation and Mercedes was finally understanding the urgency of the situation.
"Yeah I guess. Usually when I bother him in the shower things tend to take twice as long."
Quinn didn't even want to try to decipher what Mercedes meant with that comment.
"Tell him it's about me," Quinn said, with just a hint of satisfaction. She wanted to put Mercedes back in her place and make her see that even if she didn't know about Sam's shower habits, she still was a very important part of his life.
"Right. I forgot he drops everything for you, comes running when you call, forgets all about his life and his marriage, you know on second thought, I'm not disturbing him. Call someone else to bail you out."
"Mercedes please! I just explained to you that his father is behind this."
"I don't care!" Mercedes yelled.
"Sam would not want me stuck in jail."
Sam had practically made a deal with the devil to have her released from the hospital, proof that he wanted her home and with him. Mercedes was delusional to think otherwise.
"You don't know what Sam wants. And you definitely don't care about his feelings or you wouldn't even be doing any of this. All you do is break him down and send him back to me to fix."
"As if you don't love being in the savior role. You're there waiting at his feet to catch any scraps he gives you." Saying that probably killed her chance at talking to Sam, but Quinn couldn't bring herself to care. Mercedes was so self-righteous, sitting on her throne, clenching that Evans ring like a lifeline. Quinn couldn't resist taking her down a peg or two. "So pathetic." Quinn added under her breath.
"I'm pathetic? I'm not the one preying on a man with amnesia."
"I'm not forcing Sam to do anything he doesn't want to do. He's a very willing participant."
"He's willing with me too. Willing, attentive, demanding…"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Quinn asked, her nose scrunching in distaste.
"Sam of course, just like you were."
"But I was referring to..."
"Same here," Mercedes replied quickly, cutting Quinn off. "I've got to go. I'll try and give Sam your message though."
Then the line went dead. Mercedes had hung up without letting Quinn get in another word.
Quinn shook off the nastiness. It was done. She had made it known where she was and that she needed help, even if she hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Sam directly, at least Mercedes had reluctantly agreed to pass on the message.
The door opened and Emma Schuester entered the office, dressed in head to toe orange, blouse and pencil skirt, heels, her gold cross necklace peeking out the neckline. Emma was almost a hard woman, her body solid lean muscle, her face tight and unreadable. She was very much the professional, seeming detached until she opened her mouth and her chirpy almost melodic voice filled the air. Just once in a while her large brown eyes softened and another side of her was revealed, her loving compassionate nature was what made her one of Lima's most beloved citizens and Quinn had been shown her benevolence this morning. Emma had been far more accommodating than normal police protocol allowed.
"So did you make your call?" Emma asked putting a file on the desk.
"Yes thank you." Sitting erect, hands folded on top of the table, Quinn tried to look every bit the compliant prisoner. "I think everything will be fine soon."
"Good. So you talked to Sam?"
Quinn raised an eyebrow at her. "How did you know I was calling Sam?"
Emma shook her head and almost smiled. "Doesn't take detective skills to figure out who you rely on this town, even a civilian like me can tell. And I saw the photo too so…"
"That wasn't what you think," Quinn said quickly, embarrassed that once again the photo of her night at the hotel with Sam was coming into play. "It was just a friendly hug."
"I'm sure Mercedes didn't see it like that," Emma mumbled under her breath.
"Mercedes would be wrong if she thought it meant anything more. She knows Sam was helping me out."
"I wonder if that is an Evans trait - helpfulness to beautiful exes. Will helped out his ex Terry and his ex Holly, now Sam is falling right in line and helping you."
Not liking being lumped in a pile with those two women Quinn tried to downplay Emma's point, even though she could see the eerie truth in her statement. "I don't know if it is a trait. Maybe they are just kindhearted men."
"Yeah they're kindhearted to a fault," Emma snickered.
"Well I'm thankful that he's been here for me, especially now when his father seems to be the one trying to bring me down."
"Dwight? You think Dwight did this?"
"Who else would want to see me locked up?"
"Child protective services for one. They are the ones that wanted you brought in for numerous violations."
"I didn't do anything wrong. Beth wasn't even with me."
Emma reached in her pocket pulling out her cellphone as she walked over to where Quinn sat. "This is what you did wrong." She scrolled through some photos and stopped when she found the one she wanted and turned her phone toward Quinn. "Here you gave a press conference from Sam's birthday."
"It wasn't a press conference," Quinn said looking at the still of her talking to reporters on the small screen. "I was answering questions, telling my side."
"Well you did it in the wrong place, Beth was in the house."
"But I didn't go near her," Quinn explained.
"Is that your story?" Emma asked swiping through screens on her phone again. "So explain this to me? Beth is in your arms and you're about to go out the front door."
"Where did you get that?" Quinn asked trying to snatch the phone from Emma, but the older woman moved out of reach.
"Someone forwarded this photo to the authorities. You didn't think that your actions would go unnoticed in a house full of people did you?"
"I was just kissing my baby goodnight and Sue made a big deal and…"
"You're not allowed to be near her Quinn, no matter the reason," said Emma with a maternal lecturing tone that made Quinn feel like she was being scolded.
Quinn nodded stiffly. Emma was right. She shouldn't have gone to Beth in the foyer especially with so many potential witnesses around. Seeing Beth there, so close, fussing with Marcel, stirred something inside Quinn. Something pulled Quinn toward her daughter, an invisible cord that she had long feared broken suddenly reappeared between in that foyer. In that moment the need to hold her baby was overwhelming.
"I made a mistake."
"You've been making a lot of mistakes lately haven't you?" Emma sighed. "The one that most concerns me is the little runner you did at the hotel. Why would you do something like that?"
"I got scared. You don't know what it's like to be locked up in jail or in the hospital away from everyone I know. It was a nightmare."
"Actually I do know. I've been in your shoes." Emma took a seat at the table next to Quinn. "When my twins were little, I had some difficulties. I put them in danger a number of times and I wouldn't let Will help me."
"Sounds like you were depressed like me."
"Perhaps I was, but I still had to answer for my bad choices, and when one of those choices caused me to break the law, I paid the price. I was locked up and almost lost access to my children too."
"So what are you trying to insinuate? That I haven't paid for my crimes? Because having to watch my baby being raised by another woman is hell for me."
Having Sam back hadn't eased things the way Quinn had hoped. Still she wanted to be with her child, to be able to take care of her, to love her. Quinn knew she wasn't ready for anything full time, her emotions and feelings about her baby were still disconnected and out of whack, but in time she knew she would get better, at least she prayed she would. Only what if by the time Quinn felt strong enough to be a real mother to her daughter again Beth didn't need her at all? What if she became so attached to Mercedes that her baby didn't care that her real mom had come back?
"If you're so tormented why aren't you doing everything you can to comply with CPS rules and get her back?"
"I just got home Emma," she said standing up feeling under assault. Emma gave her a look, a warning to keep calm or else, so just as quickly Quinn sat back down, but she continued to make her point. "I was released from the hospital like two days ago. How much do you expect me do in that time?"
"I expect you not to make beeline over to the place where you know Beth will be."
"I didn't go to see Beth. I went to see Sam. I didn't even think about Beth being there until it was too late."
Once said out loud the words hit her hard. She really hadn't been thinking much about her baby at all. In fact none of her actions since getting out of the hospital had been about Beth, only her father.
"See you didn't think. You were letting something else cloud your judgment."
Quinn frowned. "I don't have to sit here and be lectured by you."
"Oh so you'd prefer to be taken down to the cells?" she asked with a hint of a threat.
Quinn was going to have to listen to Emma's opinions whether she wanted to or not. Here was the cost of her special treatment by the Lima PD. Sure she got to sit in a comfortable corner office and not in a smelly jail cell, but she had to endure a condescending lecture for the privilege.
"Emma why are you being so mean? I made a mistake, but I didn't hurt my baby."
"I'm not being mean. I'm trying to help you. I can see already you are about to follow the wrong path." Emma stood up and walked over to the desk, opening a file. "The officers ran the plates for the car you were about to jump into tonight. Brody Weston? Quinn, do you have any idea who that man is?"
"He's a fan," Quinn said with a blank face.
She wasn't giving Emma any more ammunition against her, she could think what she wanted, clearly she already had formed a negative opinion and there was nothing Quinn could do to change it.
Emma let out a snort. "A fan? The man is scum, a drug dealing, pimp, not that the cops can prove that, but believe me one day they will and he'll be brought to justice."
Quinn shivered. Was Brody really that bad? She had picked up some bad vibes from the guy at the hotel but she thought he was just a letch, not a criminal. "He owns a strip club. That's not against the law."
"There's more than meets the eye with Brody Weston. I'd steer clear of him. Getting involved with a man like that is the last thing you want."
"I'm not interested in Brody."
"I know who you're interested in, and that's a bad idea too." Here it comes. Quinn braced herself for it, the team Mercedes portion of the conversation. "I'd suggest you'd steer clear with that one as well."
"Why should I? Because it would hurt Mercedes?"
"No because it would hurt you. The way I see it you make stupid choices when you're around Sam. The cheating, the lies, now crashing parties and getting in trouble with CPS, I don't see anything good for you by associating with him."
"He's my child's father. He's my best friend. Everything about him is good. Sam is one of the most important people in my life. Why am I even explaining this to you? You don't know me well enough to make these snap judgments."
"You're right. I don't know you very well and I'm not trying to judge you. I'm offering you advice - mother to mother. Put Beth first and let Sam go."
"I am putting Beth first. That's why I wanted to be back in Lima, so I can have the chance to do what it takes to regain my parental rights. And as for Sam, he's my friend, nothing more. He'll tell you the same once he arrives."
"So he's coming down here?"
"Yeah, well," Quinn hesitated as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. "He was in the shower, but Mercedes told me she'd give him the message that I need him."
It didn't escape Quinn's attention that Sam was unavailable at five o'clock in the morning. Quinn knew Sam liked to wake up with the sun, but this was a little early even for him. In fact, Mercedes hadn't seemed sleepy while on the phone either. What were they doing that they were so alert before the sun had even come up? Maybe Beth interrupted their sleep. Babies had unusual sleep patterns and Quinn could only guess that Beth was still at the age where sleeping through the night wasn't a skill she had mastered. A pain gripped Quinn around the heart as she realized once again how little she knew about her baby and her daily life. Just another reason why she was so desperate to stay free, so she could one day soon make up for all she missed with her.
"Really? That's hard to believe." Emma sat down behind Will's desk, focusing more on some papers that covered it, than their conversation. "Wives generally don't like women calling their husbands in the wee hours of the morning. I know I would have had an issue with it if I were in her place."
"Mercedes is supportive of my desire to get Beth back. She knows Sam is only trying to help."
It was like pulling teeth to get Mercedes to agree to tell Sam anything, but finally the girl gave her word. Quinn had a hard time trusting Mercedes, she had such a devious past, but there was no other choice. Mercedes held all the cards at the moment and Quinn had to believe that she would do the right thing.
Emma's head shot up from her files, her full attention now back on Quinn. "I don't know what Mercedes has led you to believe, but the last thing I can see that girl being is supportive of Sam doing anything for you. She sees you as a threat to her marriage."
If Emma only knew the situation she would let this go. Sam had done the unthinkable and actually told Mercedes about his father forcing him to stay married and somehow he had managed to convince Mercedes to help him keep up the charade. Quinn wasn't sure if Mercedes had ulterior motives for being so helpful or if she had finally conceded defeat. Whatever her reasons Quinn was grateful that at least one of the obstacles in their way seemed to be gone.
"Sam and Mercedes have worked things out. Their marriage is fine. Besides like I've told you already. Sam and I are strictly friends."
Emma looked skeptical, but to Quinn's relief she didn't comment further. It was hard maintaining a façade of indifference when her feelings for Sam were so all consuming.
Keeping a straight face was a talent she had perfected most of her life and that skill was certainly being put to good use now. No one could know that her feelings for Sam were far deeper than she said, or else Dwight Evans would send her away. Though from the looks of things that was already in the works, Quinn was sure Dwight had played some part in notifying CPS of her infractions. Now all she could do was wait for Sam to come and take care of whatever his father set in motion.