Elizabeth was scrubbing out the sink when Mark came into the room and he gently wrapped his arms around her extended abdomen. "You've cleaned the sink three times today, doing it again isn't going to get rid of those stains." He said quietly.
Elizabeth sighed. "I know." She admitted. "I just can't stop cleaning."
Mark smirked. "She's coming whether our house is clean or not." He pointed out, gently directing her toward one of the barstools. "You've been up since I woke up at three, go take a nap or something."
She shook her head. "She'll be here at five." Elizabeth reminded him.
"And that's four hours away. Take a nap." Mark insisted again.
"I can't." Elizabeth replied honestly. "I'm going to be awake until this anxiety levels out and that's certainly not happening until my mother comes and goes."
Mark nodded, gently kissing her forehead. "Let me know if I can help you with anything." He requested quietly. "I'll be upstairs with Ella." He said before heading up the stairs to his daughter's room. "Hey bug." He greeted Ella who abruptly turned around from where she was playing on the floor to give him a huge grin.
"Whatcha doing?" Mark asked his daughter as he sat down next to her. She didn't reply but she handed him one of the dolls that had been carefully laid in front of her. "What's her name?" Mark asked Ella softly.
Ella frowned, and gave him her best thinking face for nearly two minutes before responding. "Lizabeth." She said seriously.
"Like Mommy?" Mark asked her with a smile, gaining a nod in response.
He made small talk with his daughter about her dolls for the better part of an hour before Elizabeth came into the room with the phone. "Mark it's Doctor Crenshaw from Northwestern." She said with a sympathetic look on her face.
Mark nodded as he got up from the floor and took the phone out of the room.
Elizabeth looked down at her daughter whose eyes were beginning to well with tears. "Daddy will be right back." She assured her as she bent down carefully to lift her daughter up and into her lap as she sat in the rocking chair. Ella sat quietly in her mother's lap, the tears in her eyes continuing to run down her cheeks. "Ella what's wrong?" She asked her, knowing she wouldn't respond. Ella had had about a month where she began talking in sentences before it all spiraled back down into the occasional word. She tried not to worry about the change, knowing that lingual variance in toddlers is common, but she couldn't help connecting the changes with the possibility of neurological damage from the overdose.
Mark came back into the room and smiled. "How're my girls?"
Elizabeth sighed. "Mark…" She began hesitantly. "What if this isn't temporary?" She asked, knowing he was just as concerned as she was.
"Ella's not talking?" Mark asked, waiting for her nod of clarification. "You think it's the overdose." He said suddenly, surprising her.
"Mark… I don't want you to…" She tried to protest.
"Don't feel bad." He assured her quickly. "I'm wondering that too."
Elizabeth sighed in relief. "I don't want you to think…"
"Rachel made a mistake Elizabeth." Mark said, incredibly sure of himself. "And that mistake was incredibly bad for Ella. I love both of them, but that doesn't mean I'm going to pretend like this didn't happen."
"Thank you." Elizabeth said softly.
"We'll make an appointment with neurology." Mark assured her gently. "We'll work this out."
Elizabeth sighed. "Okay." She allowed before giving him a curious look. "What did Doctor Crenshaw want?"
"Just a check-up." Mark said quickly. "Nothing's wrong. She just wanted to hear from me since she hadn't in a while." Elizabeth nodded, looking relieved. "Here let me take Ella." Mark offered suddenly. "Go take a bath or something. You look exhausted and your mother will be here in a couple of hours."
"Alright." Elizabeth allowed as she handed her daughter to him.
"I love you." Mark said quickly as he pressed his lips against hers before she left the room.
"I love you too."
Mark swung open the front door to reveal his mother-in-law standing with a suitcase on either side of her. "Isabelle!" Mark exclaimed, not expecting her for at least another hour. "Come in, come in." He quickly went onto the porch to grab her bags as she went into the house.
"Where is my daughter?" Isabelle asked as they walked into the living room.
Mark set the bags down by the bottom of the stairs. "She's asleep I'm afraid." He said with a smirk. "I would wake her but honestly she needs the rest."
Isabelle nodded seriously. "How are you feeling Mark?" She asked him, her forehead creased in concern.
"I'm doing well." He said quietly. "As well as can be expected."
"Well with a brain tumor it can't be too well can it?" Isabelle asked with a faint laugh. "How's Elizabeth?"
"Exhausted." Mark allowed. "She's got a lot of stress on her right now, none of which we can really redirect."
Isabelle sighed. "Well where is my granddaughter?" She asked with a smile.
Mark laughed. "I actually just left her to clean up her room so I'm sure she's scattering toys all over. I'll go get her." He said, heading up the stairs before quickly returning with Ella in his arms. "Say Hi to Grandma Elle." Mark encouraged his daughter as they arrived in the room.
Ella remained quiet and looked unhappy as Mark handed her to Isabelle. "Ella you remember grandma." Mark tried to encourage her, but she only whimpered in response. Mark sighed before sitting down next to the two of them. "She's… she's very shy lately." He tried to dismiss her behavior.
Isabelle looked down at her granddaughter with a small smile. "She looks just like Elizabeth did at her age." She said as she gently rubbed her back.
"I actually think she looks rather like her father." Elizabeth interrupted from the bottom of the stairs.
"Hey." Mark greeted her with a smile.
"Elizabeth!" Isabelle exclaimed, handing Ella to Mark before getting up to greet her daughter. "How are you feeling sweetheart?" She asked her quietly.
Elizabeth shook her head. "Not now." She said quietly allowing her mother to hug her briefly before heading to her daughter who was reaching out for her over the couch. "Hello my baby." She whispered quietly into her daughter's ear.
Once everyone was settled into the living room Isabelle spoke again. "Do you know if it's a boy or girl?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "We're waiting to find out." She said softly.
They sat in silence for several moments before Isabelle sighed. "If I'm not welcome here I can just leave." She said, obviously frustrated.
"No mother." Elizabeth said tiredly. "I'm sorry we're not in the best shape for being hosts right now, but we're happy to have you here." She forced out.
Mark gently took her hand. "We've got a lot going on." He tried to help out. "Between my treatment, and Elizabeth's pregnancy, it's hard for us to focus on the small things."
"Well what can I do to help?" Isabelle finally asked after several minutes.
Elizabeth was taken aback. "Uh…" She replied, clearly confused. "Mother you don't have to…"
"Don't be ridiculous Elizabeth." Isabelle stopped her. "If there's anything I can do to help I want to."
Mark gently squeezed Elizabeth's hand. "Thank you Isabelle." He said gently. "I'm sure we can find something you can do to help out." He said before getting up. "I'm going to go check on dinner." He dismissed himself, leaving his wife and her mother in the living room.
"How are you doing darling?" Isabelle asked her intently.
Elizabeth winced as Ella climbed up to her shoulders. "I don't know." She admitted softly. "I'm stressed out beyond reason, but I have to keep it together for the baby, not to mention Mark and Ella."
"You don't though." Isabelle replied. "If you can't handle something you have to tell Mark, you have to keep the communication open Elizabeth. Your father and I didn't communicate about things when you were growing up and that's why we couldn't work our problems out."
Elizabeth sighed. "I don't know how to talk to him anymore." She replied. "I feel so ridiculous complaining about little things like swollen ankles when Mark is spending every day trying to keep himself alive."
Isabelle nodded sympathetically. "Do you remember what you told me at your wedding?" Elizabeth shook her head before she continued. "You said you weren't afraid of being with him, but of being without him. I had never heard you so sure of anything, but now you're being without him because you're too afraid to be with him."
Elizabeth looked down at her swollen stomach, tears beginning to well in her eyes. "I just don't know what to do." She said softly.
"Talk to him."
Mark entered his and Elizabeth's bedroom after putting Ella to bed that night. He laughed when he saw Elizabeth trying to bend over to pick up a sock she had dropped while folding laundry. "Here let me get it." He said quickly before picking the sock up and helping her stand back up. He set the sock on the bed before he looked to see her lip trembling. "Elizabeth?" He asked her quickly, moving so he could hold her hands gently.
She shook her head, and turned away. "I'm sorry."
"What's wrong?" He asked intently as he led her to sit with him at the end of their bed.
"I… I don't know how to…" She began softly. "I… I know I'm pushing you away, and I know I don't want to, but I don't trust… I don't trust anything to stay anymore.
Mark nodded gently. "So you're blocking me out." He finished for her. Elizabeth looked at him guiltily, looking away as Mark tried to push her hair out of her face. "Don't feel bad sweetheart." He tried to comfort her. "I understand the horrible position you're in."
Elizabeth shook her head. "I love you so much, but I don't know how to believe in us anymore."
"It's okay." He replied simply, before letting her sit in silence.
Nearly twenty minutes later Elizabeth was sitting at the end of the bed, watching as Mark put the laundry away. She felt awful. She knew that while he had responded to her confession with nothing but comfort for her, he must be feeling something he wasn't showing. "Mark?" She finally asked.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked her quietly. Elizabeth nodded, but retreated from him slightly. "Okay, can I finish this, and set up my treatment for the morning first?"
Elizabeth nodded, getting up from the bed. "I'm going to take a shower." She said quietly.
It was an hour later before Mark and Elizabeth sat on their bed together, Elizabeth wrapped in the covers as if they could protect her from the emotional tension in the room. Mark smiled weakly as he sat across from her on the bed.
"Please tell me what's wrong." He said gently, keeping his distance from her.
Elizabeth swallowed guiltily. "I don't know how." She replied without making eye contact.
"We've talked about this." Mark said softly. "You have to talk to me. It's not insensitive for you to tell me when you're having problems, you know that. So what are you so afraid of?"
"I'm afraid because every day could be your last." Elizabeth said softly, tears running down her cheeks. "I know that you're doing well on the trial, but what if it doesn't work? I've been trying so hard to figure out how I could live without you, and now I don't know how to live with you anymore."
Mark nodded. "Can I sit with you?" He asked after a few moments of silence. Elizabeth sighed before nodding. Mark moved so he was sitting next to Elizabeth. "I love you Elizabeth, more than anything. But we can't spend every moment planning for me to die, because then what's the point in me trying to live?"
Elizabeth choked back a sob. "I'm sorry."
Mark shook his head guiltily. "No Elizabeth… I didn't mean it like that…I just…I want to love you, and part of that is me supporting you."
Elizabeth nodded but leaned into his arms, letting him gently pull her closer. "I… I need you." She admitted softly.
"I'm right here." Mark promised as he hugged her gently, pressing his lips against her still damp curls. "Talk to me, what's wrong?"
Elizabeth sighed. "I'm so exhausted Mark." She admitted softly. "Between working full time and growing a person I have no time to think about anything else."
Mark nodded, after a few moments he responded. "I'm going to go talk to Kerry tomorrow."
Elizabeth looked at him in confusion. "What? Why?"
"I need to be working." Mark explained. "Even if I can't do everything I could before, I'm sure Kerry can work something out."
Elizabeth shook her head. "Mark you can't…"
"I can." Mark affirmed. "I've been on the treatment for almost three months now. I have an MRI in the morning, if everything looks good I may be approved to return to work. If it doesn't I'll work something out with Kerry."
"It's not your job to work and get better at the same time!" Elizabeth yelled angrily. "If you go back to work before your ready you could risk everything!"
Mark sighed. "Elizabeth we've always done everything together. Ella misses you, and I miss working. We need to try to get things as close to normal before this baby gets here."
Elizabeth nodded. "Alright… alright." She conceded. "Are you sure you feel up to going back to work?"
"Yes." Mark assured her. "I'll be fine."
Elizabeth firmly pressed her lips against his. "Thank you Mark." She said softly.
"Let's go to bed." He replied, kissing her once again. They both settled into the bed before either spoke. "Elizabeth?" Mark asked quietly as she reached to turn of the light.
"Yes Mark?"
"Promise me you'll tell me when you need help?" He asked earnestly.
"I promise."
Mark was wandering around the ER trying to find Doctor Weaver. He finally found her with a patient in exam two. He poked his head into the door. "Kerry can I talk to you when you have a minute?"
Kerry looked up, surprised to see him there. "Yeah of course." She replied. "I can meet you in the lounge in ten minutes."
Mark nodded before making his way to the lounge. He was surprised, but relieved that no one was in there to talk to. He sat at the table, combing through the magazines looking for something interesting when Kerry got there.
"Hey Mark, how are you feeling?" She asked him seriously as she sat down next to him.
"I'm feeling good Kerry." Mark assured her. "That's actually why I'm here. I just had an MRI and by GBM is no longer progressing towards broca's."
"That's excellent news." Kerry affirmed. "So the treatment is working?"
Mark nodded. "I'm actually here to talk to you about the treatment. I've been on it for nearly three months, and I haven't been experiencing any major side effects." He paused awkwardly for a moment before committing. "I want to come back to work."
Kerry looked at him in confusion. "I didn't think you wanted to spend your time working."
Mark sighed. "Elizabeth has been working double shifts to cover medical bills and other expenses. She can't keep it up for much longer. I need to be working."
Kerry nodded. "I'm not unsympathetic to your situation, but I can't put you back on shifts without recommendation from your medical team and approval from the board."
"Alright." Mark replied seriously.
Kerry raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you want to do this? If you lose approval you could lose your employment status at County."
Mark shrugged. "It doesn't matter."
"Okay." Kerry replied. "You'll have to pick up the paperwork for both board and medical team approval in the medical records department. The medical team approval will be submitted to me, while the board approval will be submitted to Doctor Romano."
Mark nodded. "Thanks Kerry." He said, taking notes on what she was saying.
"Let me know if I can help." She said with a small smile.
"Just make sure I can help my family out." Mark replied before getting up to leave the room.
"Hey Mark?" Kerry asked as he began to push the door open.
"Yeah?"
"I look forward to having you back." She said with a smile.
"I look forward to coming back."