I remember the slight rush of exitement I felt when we were going North. I had done my best to keep it hidden then, trying to scare myself more than I should. New place, new people, new judgment for every single thing I say or do. And even if I was scared of it, I was also excited about it, all of it.
And now? Now, that we're heading back home? The only feeling I could name was the one that I would rather be going anywhere else. I should have done what Gendry warned me not to. I should have just gone and joined the Wildlings. At least there I would be careless and free. At least to some point.
This was a horrible journey. Several incidents happened. One that ended with me holding a crying Arya, a dead direwolf, a lost direwolf, an injured Joffrey and a dead butchers boy.
I have no idea what to do anymore. I promised Catelyn Stark that I would keep her family safe, and I do not know any more if I can keep that promise. I want to, I really do. I just doubt I will be able to do so.
-Lady Elena?-Elisa asked at the entrance of my tent.-The King asked you to see him.-she said. I sighed.
-What does that fat idiot want now?-I asked, and Elisa looked at me in disbelief. I don't give a damn. Ever since he failed to listen to me, or Lord Stark about the direwolf matter, I have lost the little respect I ever had for him. I still don't hate him though. That is reserved for my sister.
Every single time I look at her, I see Bran. I would give everything I have not to think about it, but ever since Robb Stark shared his doubts with me, I couldn't forget about it. And it wasn't just when I looked at her. It was also when I looked at Jaime. And that one hurt me much more. I never love Cersei, but I was very close to my big brother, ever since I was a child. The notion that he might have done something to hurt Bran bothered me, deeply. But I have no evidence. So I try not to dwell on it.
-You wanted to see me Your Grace.-I said and bowed as I entered Roberts's tent.
-Yes. I have some news for you.-he said, and I nodded. Gods, what now?! Haven't I had enough?!-I got a letter from your father. Tomorrow at dawn, you will be heading to Casterly Rock.-he said. No. No. He better be joking with me.-He thinks that you should spend more time there. You will stay there for a few months before returning to King's Landing.-he said. He is serious. Oh no, Gods, no. NO!
-I was under the impression that you needed me in King's Landing Your Grace. You said so yourself, if you didn't need me there, I would be married to the Stark boy.-I said, playing all the cards I had with me.
-What, you want to marry Ned's son?-he asked, angry now.-Point well-made Elena.-he said when I couldn't speak. I don't want to marry him, but I will say just about anything to convince Robert not to send me off to Casterly Rock.-I won't lose the throne if you spend some quality time with that father of yours. And when you return to King's Landing, I will marry you off to Renly.-he said. My jaw dropped.
-Renly?-I asked, and he just nodded.-What happened to me having time to pick for myself?-I asked.
-You had your time. I would have been happy to marry you off to the North, but now I think my brother is the best pick for you.-he said with a smile. It took all the strength I had not to yell something that would make Renly lose his head.
-Thank you for your consideration Your Grace.-I spat, not even thinking of who I am talking too.
-Watch your mouth!-he warned me, and I just shook my head.
-What will you do? Have me beheaded? Feel free. It would make my family happy, and it is just about the only thing you hadn't already done Your Grace. Sending me away to that man, and marring me to a man I don't love are not good decisions. I only hope you don't regret them as much as I will.-I said, and before he could stop me, I was already leaving his tent. I really didn't give a damn. If he wants to have me killed, he can just do it. Even that is better than marring his brother.
But I will think about Renly later. My biggest problem is that I won't be in King's Landing to look after the Stark family. As soon as I realized that, I ran to my tent, to write two letters. One to Gendry, one to Catelyn.
Gendry, the girl who will bring you this is Arya Stark, daughter of the new Hand of the King. I can't explain much in this letter, and I am sorry. They are taking me to Casterly Rock for a while, and I do not have a say in it. Please, I beg of you, look after the Stark family as much as you can. Let me know about what is going on. Keep them safe, for me. Look after yourself. And trust no one. Elena.
Lady Catelyn, there's been a problem. My father and the King decided to send me off to Casterly Rock for a while. I have no idea what made them do so. I can't do much for your family from there, but I will do my best. A friend of mine, who I would trust with my own life, will keep me informed. And I will be back at King's Landing as soon as I can, even if I have to run away. I made a promise to you, and I will do everything I can to keep it. Please, do not worry. I can still fix this. Let me know how Bran is doing. Elena.
The letter for Catelyn I already send with a raven. The one for Gendry is a bit more delicate. I am going to give it to Arya, and she will give it to him. When I entered her and Sansa's tent, she already knew.
-Elena, I don't want you to go.-she said. I managed a small smile.
-And I do not want to go either. But I will be back with you sooner than you think. I promise, I won't miss a thing.-I said, and she smiled.-Do you remember who you give this to?-I asked, holding the letter.
-Blacksmiths apprentice, Gendry, I tell him Lena sent me.-she said, and I nodded. She did get it.-I will miss you.-she said, and I smiled. The girl has really grown to me. I care for her. Gods, Robert and my father better hope that nothing happens to her while I'm away. If there is a hair missing from her head, I will kill them both myself. She was like a younger sister I always wanted to have.
-I will miss you too. Don't even think I don't care, you hear me?-I asked, and she nodded with a smile. I hugged her, and kissed here on the head.-Now, sleep. I will be leaving very early. Do me a favor and please stay out of trouble?-I asked, and she nodded. I walked out of her tent, and I ran into Sansa. I also said goodbye to her. I may be closer to Arya, but I love Sansa all the same. If not for anything else, I will return to King's Landing as fast as I can for her. I made my way to Lord Stark's tent.
-Elena.-he said as soon as I walked in.-I am sorry. I have tried to make him change his mind.-he said.
-Do not worry.-I said with a small smile.-As far as I'm considered, he can marry me himself if he doesn't make me go to Casterly Rock. That bothers me far more than my marriage to Renly.-I said.
-It still isn't official.-he said.-It will be though, once you return to King's Landing.-he added.
-I don't give a damn Lord Stark. I only don't want to leave you and your daughters alone there. I swear to the Gods, both old and the new, I will be there as soon as I can. For Gods's sake, my name is Elena Lannister, I'm going to do what I promised to do! Please Lord Stark, take care of yourself. And trust no one. Take care of your daughters. I love them like they're my own sisters.-I admitted in a low voice.
-Elena, I am afraid that they feel the same way about you.-he said, and I managed a smile.-I know very well how you feel about your family. But you have to know that you are always welcome up North as a part of our family.-he said. He was being honest, I could feel it. And here I thought he didn't like me.
-Thank you. That means to me more than you will ever know. Just please, be careful. And I beg of you, do not make accusations easily.-I added. He knew what I meant, and he nodded.-The ones who are guilty should pay. But wait for the evidence. Goodbye Lord Stark.-I said, and he hugged me. As soon as I left the tent, I was praying that this wasn't the last time I will ever see him.
As soon as I arrived to Casterly Rock, I knew this was a big mistake. And I did not understand it. My father didn't want to see me at all. He greeted me with a small smile, and that was it. I spent most of my days in my chambers, reading letters and writing them as well. Gendry says that he keeps an eye on the Starks. All is well for now, but he says that tensions are rising. What he means with that, I have no idea.
Catelyn informed me that Bran woke up. That was the only good news I had in days, and yet, it was followed by the news that he won't be able to walk. And that he doesn't remember a thing. At least she says that her husband and daughters are doing well in King's Landing.
Still, that is not enough for me. Whenever I see my father, even in the hall, I ask him. I even begged. And he did not give in. If he doesn't send me away, I will run away, I swear. I won't have a choice!
-My Lady!-I heard Elisa before she even entered my chambers. She was running. I jumped of the bed.
-What happened Elisa?-I asked. I already thought that something happened to my father.
-The King is dead.-she said. I fell to my knees. I was crying and laughing in the same time. I couldn't get worse news. What will Ned Stark do now? Will I be able to save him? Why did that stupid man had to die now?! He just had to die! And in a stupid hunting accident! He just… he ruined everything!
At least one good thing will happen. I will go to King's Landing. I will have to pay my respects to Robert. To that fat idiot that almost ruined my life. And yet, he made me laugh so many times.
I was wrong. My father was not fooled easily. He went to King's Landing alone. And as soon as he returned, I started acting out. I would kick and scream and beg and cry and everything I thought might work. None of it worked. He has two more days. And if he doesn't send me away, I am going away.
-My lady, your father wants to see you.-Elisa said as soon as she entered my chambers.
-Elisa, prepare me for a journey. And yourself.-I said, and she looked at me in surprise.-Look, Elisa, if you do not want to do it, you don't have to. But I am running away. He will not keep me locked up in here while that poor family is left to the torture of that prick of my cousin. I will leave tomorrow night, and I will ride to King's Landing. You can make your choice by then.-I said, and she smiled.
-Lady… No, not Lady. Elena. I was with you since you could barely talk. There is no person, Lannister or Baratheon, that could keep me away. If you're leaving, I am leaving too.-she announced proudly. I said it before, and I will say it again. I would be lost without that girl. I smiled and took her hand.
-Thank you. You really are a true friend Elisa.-I said, and she hugged me.-I better go and see what that horrible man wants. You pack us up. Only essentials.-I said, and she nodded. I made my way through the hallways that never really felt like home. My father was in his study, sitting behind his desk.
-Please sit Elena.-he said before I could say anything. I did as he said.-There has been… a problem. Eddard Stark is held in a dungeon in King's Landing. He is accused of treason.-he said. I clenched my hands in fists. Don't let him see Elena. Please, don't let him see how much this bothers you.
-He is a good man, but what does that mean to me?-I asked coldly. What am I supposed to do know?! How will I save him from that?! Oh Gods, I begged him not to say a word! I promised his wife that I would keep him safe, and now, he's in a dungeon! There is nothing I can do now. Nothing.
-The only way Eddard Stark can keep his head on his shoulders is if he admits that he lied and if he and his family bow to the King.-he said. Oh Gods. He will never lie. And they will never bow. Robb will start a damn war before he bows to Joffrey!-I might not like that family, but I respect them for their honor. Eddard Stark won't admit anything, and his son won't bow.-my father said. He might be a horrible person, but no one can deny that he is incredibly smart.
-Again I ask, what does that have to do with us?-I asked. He won't bow. No matter the price.
-If his father dies, Robb Stark will start a war. My grandson might be the King, but you and I both know that he doesn't know how to rule a Kingdom, let alone fight a war. And the Stark family is respected all over Westeros. I know that a lot of people would prefer a Stark on the throne.-he said. Now I get it.
-You want to avoid a war.-I said. Stupid, evil, blond, son of a bitch!
-Exactly. And that is why you will do what I tell you. I know you grown to respect that family. Love them even. And I know you are the only Lannister they respect. That is why you will go to King's Landing and oversee the release of Eddard Stark, on my orders. You will convince him to apologize and to bow. I have no doubt you will be able to do so. Explain to him what will happen if he doesn't do so. He will be able to return to the North, without any punishment, and Joffrey will still have his ass on the throne.-he said.
I did not see that coming. I had no idea how to save Ned, and now, my father has given me the way. And I understand that he is doing so for his own reasons. He knows that a war would probably destroy the whole Kingdom. And yet, his solution works for the Starks.
-Why do you think he will do it?-I asked. I have no idea if I would be able to convince him. He was aware of the consequences when he made the accusations, whatever they were. He is a cleaver man.
-Because the thing Ned Stark cares about the most is his family.-he said, and I nodded. That indeed is my only hope.-And one more thing. To ensure that this will never happen again, you will go North with him. And you will wed his heir.-he said. I never expected to hear this. I thought that anything else could be another part of the agreement, but I never expected that it would be my marriage.
-What?-I asked. He did not answered.-Why are you putting me in the middle of this?-I asked, angry. Yes, I would do anything to save the Starks, but this is a decision in which I had no say in, and neither did my future husband! This is going to change my life, completely! And I did not even want that to happen!
-Because I have to!-father yelled, and that surprised me. He never liked me, but he never was the one to yell. I didn't show him my surprise. I will not let him scare me. Not now, not ever.-You will go to Winterfell, marry Robb Stark, give birth to his sons and daughters, and keep them there!-he yelled.
Now I see everything. He needs me to keep them there. He needs me to stop the war.
And I will do so. I will go up North. I will do as he says. And he will never know why I do it.
I made a promise to Lady Catelyn Stark, and I will keep it. I will keep her family safe. If that means I will have to betray my own family, I will do so. If that means leading my father to believe that I am working for his benefit, while I'm doing something completely different, I will do so. And if that means I will be a Stark, and not a Lannister, I will do so!
-Fine!-I spat out in anger. He still needs to believe that I am angry with his decision.-If you allow me to do so, I'll go and rest, since I will probably run to King's Landing first thing tomorrow!-I yelled.
-Yes, you will. And go.-he said, and I was walking towards the door.-And Elena?-he asked, and I turned around.-I will send you a wedding dress.-he said. I am not sure if I should feel honored or insulted.
-Thank you.-I said coldly. As soon as I closed the door, I started running. If I have the power to end this in my hands, I need to stop the Starks for wanting revenge before they have to do so. I wrote Catelyn a short letter. The only thing that matters now is for me to stop the North starting a war with King's Landing.
Don't do anything! I have a plan! I will write to you as soon as I reach King's Landing! For the love of Gods, the old and the now, don't start a war. Stop Robb before he does anything he might regret. I will take care of everything! Trust me. I gave you my promise, and I will keep it! Please, just wait for a few days. Elena.