A/N: Here's a longer chapter! This is what I do while procrastinating on my term papers. You're welcome! Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles.

It wasn't until her second cup of coffee kicked in the next morning that Jane realized what Maura had said the night before. She was relieved that Maura denied they had sex, but she didn't know if she believed it. She and Frost had been working on finalizing the paperwork Hoyt when Maura walked into the squad room. The doctor sat a cup of coffee on Frost's desk before turning her attention to Jane who didn't bother to look up, "there you are, Barry. Detective Rizzoli, I'm sorry for not offering to buy you a coffee as well. I was under the impression you wouldn't be coming in today considering your injuries. I could run back down to the cafe if you'd like for me-"

"Don't worry about it." Jane interrupted her as she held her coffee up show Maura she didn't need one anyway. Frost watched his partner's shoulders tense and eyebrows form a crease in her forehead as the medical examiner tried in vain to apologize. Not wanting Jane's hostility to escalate, he decided to diffuse the situation. "Thanks, doc. I really appreciate it." He gave her a smile that was both gratuitous for her kind gesture as well as apologetic for his partner's behavior.

"It's no trouble at all, Detective Frost. I should head down to the lab to finalize my reports so that you all can file them appropriately. It should only take about an hour. I'll call when they're completed." With that she was out the door and headed to the morgue.

Frost turned his attention to the woman sitting at the desk opposite from him. "Jane.." he paused, waiting for her to look up and meet his gaze. It never happened, so he opened his mouth to continue speaking to her. Jane heard him inhale and start to say something, so she cut him off before the words could leave his mouth. She snapped her head up, now confident enough to make eye contact, and words began to pour out of her mouth.

"Look, I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna tell me I've got no reason to dislike her. You're gonna tell me what a kind and wonderful person she is, and how she just wants to be my friend and all that bullshit that Korsak has told me a thousand times already. Then you're gonna ask what I've got against her in the first place, and honestly I don't know what to tell you. We've never liked each other from the time we met. She's an uppity, judgmental bitch that was born with a silver spoon in her mouth and has no idea what it's like to actually have real problems in life."

Frost wasn't surprised that Jane predicted what he planned to say. They knew each other extremely well, and were better partners because of it. He took a moment to collect himself after Jane's outburst before he responded. "Maybe..." he began slowly, testing Jane's reaction, "maybe you guys just got off on the wrong foot. I mean she's definitely well-educated and articulate, but I've never gotten an uppity vibe from her - certainly not a judgmental one!" Jane glared at him then turned back to her paperwork before mumbling, "please, one of her shoes costs more than my rent."

"So she makes a lot of money! Have you met a Chief Medical Examiner that doesn't? And I'm sure she's had her share of problems in life just like every other person..." his voice trailed with uncertainty of how Jane would handle his last comment. Thankfully, she decided to make light of it with a smart comment instead of blowing up. "Oh yeah? Like what, having to take out the trash herself when the butler is sick? Please."

Within the next thirty minutes, Frost and Korsak had been assigned to a new case by Cavanaugh, leaving Jane to complete the paperwork on her own. Although she would never admit it to anyone, Frost's suggestion of starting over with Maura had been on her mind since their earlier conversation. She also thought back to Korsak's frequent suggestion for her to find a friend to confide in, but she quickly dismissed the fleeting thought that the friend could be Dr. Maura Isles. Just as she was filing the last page of her report, her phone rang. She answered it, sighing her own name into the phone out of sheer boredom from desk duty. "Rizzoli."

Susie Chang's shaky voice was on the other line, "Uh, hi Detective Rizzoli.. um, Dr. Isles - she has a-"

"Out with it, Chang."

Susie hurriedly spat out her reason for calling. "Dr. Isles would like for me to inform you that her report is ready to be finalized with the homicide unit regarding the latest case against Charles Hoyt."

Jane looked around and to her disappointment didn't see anyone she could delegate the task to. "Got it. Frost and Korsak are gone right now. I'll be down in a minute to pick it up."

Susie reported back to Maura that Jane was on her way. The doctor was surprised that Jane agreed to collect the report herself, but she correctly hypothesized that there was no other option. Maura heard the unmistakable sound of unfashionable boots making their way closer to the morgue and she quickly shut her laptop so that the detective wouldn't find out she had been shoe shopping on the job. Jane entered the Queen of the Dead's palace, and to each of their surprise genuinely smiled at her. "Hey, doc. I heard everything is tied up on your end.." She waited expectantly for Maura to hand over the paperwork.

"Yes, Detective. Here you are," she handed Jane a manila folder. Before Jane had a chance to bolt out the door, Maura spoke again. "Your demeanor is certainly different compared to this morning. I take it you've had a pleasant day of working in the office? I'm sure it's less stressful than having to respond to calls and come in contact with criminals." Normally Jane would have taken offense to a comment like that, but she studied Maura's expression and found no trace of bad intention.

"Uh.. well, I'm actually happy to get the hell away from my desk. Even if it means coming to the morgue. Criminals might be dangerous, but that's where the fun is at." She smiled at the doctor, proud of herself for handling the conversation appropriately. "Look, doc, I'm sorry." The apology came out of nowhere, and Jane thought she was surely going insane from initiating a normal conversation and starting to apologize to Maura for her behavior that morning.

"For what, exactly?" Maura's face turned serious.

"How I acted this morning. I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night. I was just cranky." Jane hung her head. She was unsure of how Maura would react, and she didn't want to look up to see it.

"Apology accepted." Jane started to speak, but she was interrupted by the doctor who clearly had much more to say. "...For this morning. You've yet to apologize for how you have treated me throughout the duration of every case since the day we met, particularly this one involving Hoyt. You also owe me an apology especially for how you behaved last night at your apartment and how you didn't so much as thank me for taking care of you when you were so drunk you were falling asleep at the bar." It was evident to Maura that she was starting to anger Jane. Her jaw was set, and her free hand was alternating between clenching into a fist and spreading her fingers wide - the same behavior Maura had witnessed while Jane fought the demons of her nightmares. Before the detective could counter her remarks, she decided to continue speaking and try to soften the blow of her own words. "Jane," she began using her name for the first time in sober conversation. Brown eyes darted up to meet hazel ones, and expressed an emotion that Maura couldn't quite pinpoint. "I know you've been through hell. I don't know exactly what that hell was like, but I can tell its taken a toll on you physically, mentally, and emotionally. I understand that you felt vulnerable when you found out I had consoled you after your nightmare, but I can assure you, I haven't breathed a word to anyone else about that."

Jane looked down at her hands as she fidgeted with the scars on her palms. "How do I know you're not just saying that?"

"Because I can't lie."

"Bullshit. Everybody does it."

"I have to admit, I have told lies before, but it's not difficult for one to detect when I'm not telling the truth."

"Oh yeah? Why's that? You break out in hives or something?"

"Yes. I do."

Jane laughed at the absurdity of Maura's confession. "No way! You're serious?"

"Yes, Jane. I can't tell a lie without it becoming very obvious."

"So I could ask you anything and you'd have to tell me the truth?" Maura nodded, although she was annoyed because she could tell Jane was about to take advantage of her involuntary physiological response.

"Hm..." Jane began, trying to make it seem like she didn't already have a question in mind. "So you swear we didn't have sex?" She gave Maura a smug grin, knowing she had her cornered.

"No. As I told you last night, we slept in the same bed and you cuddled up against me but that was the extent of it. I can assure you there were no orgasms involved."

Jane blushed at Maura's mention of her cuddling. She knew she could get handsy when she was drunk. She also knew how she longed to have someone to hold at night, the way she used to hold Alex. "Well. Okay then. But for the record, there doesn't have to be an orgasm involved to have sex with somebody."

A smug smile began to creep up Maura's face. "Maybe that's true in your experience, Detective."

"Hey! What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jane was more shocked at the doctor's response than offended at her insinuation that Jane wasn't as skilled as she was in the bedroom. Maybe she's not as uppity as I thought. Both women shared the first genuine laugh of their relationship.

Maura simply widened her mischievous grin and shrugged. Jane looked down at her palms before she spoke again. "For the record, I am sorry for how I've treated you this week. You didn't have to take me home and take care of me. You sure as hell didn't have to try to console me after I woke up screaming. Thank you for that. And thank you for trying to take care of me last night too. I wouldn't have done those things for you. Clearly, I misjudged you. You're a better person than me, Maura."

Maura raised her hand to let it rest on Jane's bicep. It was the same bicep she had admired in her guest bedroom several nights ago. She gave it a gentle squeeze to show her sincerity. "You're welcome, Jane."

xxx

Over the course of the following week, the two women had grown to hate each other less. It was surprising to both of them, but they began to enjoy each other's company. Neither was quite comfortable enough to confess that to the other at this point. Jane had finally accepted Maura's offer to help clean her apartment, which she still hadn't touched since the break-in. She found herself too exhausted to think of cleaning by the time she got home from the precinct each day. At Frost and Korsak's suggestion, Jane decided to take Maura out for drinks at the Robber in order to thank her for putting the apartment back together. Maura was knocking on Jane's door at precisely 9:00pm, just as they had planned. She heard Jane scold Jo Friday for chewing on the dog bed, and the raspy voice grew louder as the detective approached the door. Maura paused to take in the sight of the woman standing in front of her. Chuck Taylors, dark blue skinny jeans with a hole in the right knee, a Red Sox baseball tee, and wild black hair that fell over the woman's shoulders. The doctor stepped into the apartment, sharing a smile with Jane. She didn't say anything as she walked towards the kitchen island and stood silently watching Jane. "What?"

Not wanting to offend Jane anymore than she had in the past, Maura chose her words carefully. "It's just.. I-I feel a bit...over dressed?" She thought by turning the attention to herself, Jane wouldn't be insulted. She was right. Jane began to laugh as she looked Maura up and down.

"Well there's something I never thought you'd say! 'Over-dressed!' Says the woman who wears stilettos to crime scenes!" Maura realized the irony, and giggled a little.

"Point taken, Jane. But you said we were going out and I thought this would be the appropriate dress. Where exactly are we going?"

"The Dirty Robber! I thought I told you that earlier." Maura stared blankly at Jane indicating that she definitely was not informed of where they were going.

"No, Jane, you didn't. You simply stated we were going out. These are my going out clothes!" She gestured toward the purple, form-fitting dress and silver heels she was wearing. "The 'Dirty Robber' doesn't exactly sound like an establishment where this type of attire would be considered the norm."

Jane chuckled and shook her head. "God woman, you are something else! Anyway, what you're wearing really isn't all that important. You look fine! And besides, the Robber isn't exactly a place that attracts a certain type of patron. I can assure you both of us will fit in just fine." She gave the blonde a reassuring smile, and placed her hand on Maura's back to lead them out the door.

"Well, you're right. I do look great in this dress." Jane tried to hide her laugh as the locked the door behind them.

After a couple of drinks at the Robber, both women began to feel more comfortable around each other. Jane had made it her mission to set Maura up with an attractive guy, but Maura shot down all of Jane's suggestions and vice versa.

"Geez, Maura, are you gonna have a problem with every guy I choose for you?"

"Geez, Jane, are you going to continue choosing men with obvious signs of genetic disorders?" Maura mocked the brunette's tone as dark brown eyes shot her a glare.

"Look I'm not saying you gotta marry the guy! Just spend the night with him." She tipped the top of her beer towards Maura, raised her eyebrows twice, and flashed a mischievous grin to reveal the true meaning of her comment. Maura rewarded her behavior with a slap on the arm and a smile of her own. The smaller woman was becoming looser as a result of her third glass of white wine, and she felt brave enough to ask Jane a personal question.

"Since you're so intent on being my matchmaker, when's the last time you dated someone, Jane?"

The detective's lean hands began to fidget as the smile fell from her face and she looked down towards the table. Maura inhaled audibly and started to apologize for asking and change the subject entirely, but stopped when she felt Jane's hand hover softly above her own. "No, it's okay." She turned to face Maura and smiled weakly, which the doctor found was not very reassuring. "Three years ago." Jane was now looking back at the table. "We were together for six."

"Six years?" Maura didn't expect Jane to be someone who held such a steady relationship for that amount of time.

"Yeah. Six years." Her voice was soft and coated with emotion, making it even raspier than usual. Maura didn't want to upset Jane, so she didn't press her for more information. Brown eyes remained focused on her beer for a moment before bringing it to her lips and taking a long sip. When she sat it back down on the napkin, she felt her words begin to pour out before she could think to stop them. "Her name was Alex. We when we were officers and then we were both assigned to the drug unit after becoming detectives." She paused momentarily, but it was long enough for Maura to interject.

"Isn't that the unit you worked in when we first met?"

"Yeah. Anyway, she was killed three years ago." Maura's eyes grew wide for a second, and it was obvious to Jane that she only had more questions after hearing that. Jane took another sip of beer to give her the strength to get through the tale. She thought she should have been used to talking about it by now, but it never got any easier for her. Her eyes remained on the bottle as she began to explain. "It was a bust gone bad. Her dumbass rookie partner tipped off the second in command. Her and the rest of the unit were sitting ducks by the time they arrived at the house to round up The Dealer - that's what he was called, great nickname, I know. They murdered her and two other cops. It happened that morning, and I didn't find out until that evening. I was working undercover when it happened." Her voice was monotone the entire time she spoke.

Maura had been listening attentively the whole time, never taking her eyes off Jane. "I'm so s-"

Jane held her hand up in protest and moved a little away from the other woman. "Don't. Everybody's always sorry for things they weren't responsible for."

A thick silence fell between them as Maura watched Jane's eyes for any indication of how she should respond. She was thankful when she saw Jane readjust in her seat and begin to speak again. "Anyway... The Dealer was confirmed dead in D.C. a couple of weeks ago. Serves him right." Her voice had become low and laced with hatred for the man who took her love away.

Maura still was unsure of what to say, but Jane was desperate to change the subject. She didn't know how much longer she could stand talking about Alex. "What about you? What's the longest you were ever with anyone?"

"Only two years. I've found it's difficult for people to remain involved with me for an extended period of time."

"Is it the Googlemouth?"

"Beg your pardon?"

"You know.. how you get so caught up in the scientific names and details of stuff and you just talk forever about nothing and everything at the same time?"

"Well, I suppose you could say that. I was always the weird one. But I thought Ian was different."

"He wasn't?"

Maura sighed. Jane had opened up to her, so she felt like she owed it to her to open up a little herself. "No, he wasn't. He cheated on me, but I was so in love I looked over it for a long time."

"So you knew about him cheating on you and you stayed with him?" Jane couldn't believe that a woman who was so educated could be so stupid when it came to relationships.

"Yes. That's exactly what I did. At least, it was until a friend showed me that love didn't look like that. I was mistaken. Ian was the only person I had ever felt that way about, and I was so in love with him I allowed him to disrespect me and use me." Jane suddenly felt sorry for the woman.

"Well I can tell you right now, Ian's an asshole. You deserve better than that, Maura."

"You couldn't possibly know what I deserve, Jane."

"Take it from someone who was an ass to you for the longest time for no real reason... You deserve better. And not only is he an ass, he's an idiot for cheating on you. I mean look at you! You're all class! You came to a sports bar in a dress and heels for God's sake." She flashed a smile at Maura, trying to make it obvious that she was trying to lighten the mood. It wasn't very effective.

Maura hung her head. "My past relationship problems are nothing compared to the pain you've gone through, Jane."

"No need to start competing for whose life sucks more." She drew the last sip from her beer and sat it back down on the table before lightly slapping her hands against the table. "C'mon, let's get outta here."

xxx

As Jane drove towards Maura's house to drop her off, both women were consumed by their own thoughts as they rode in a comfortable silence. Jane thought about the good times she had shared with Alex, and Maura thought about the progress she had made that evening in becoming friends with Jane.

When they reached Maura's house - or as Jane referred to it, her mansion - Jane didn't bother to get out of the car and walk Maura to the door. Then again, Maura didn't really expect her to. Before she was completely out of Jane's car, Maura turned to the brunette to thank her for the drinks.

"Maur, it's the least I can do for you considering everything you've done for me - not to mention make up for me being an ass all this time."

"You don't have to keep proving your apology to me, Jane. I've already forgiven you. Drive safely." She closed the door and began to walk onto her porch, but not before smiling sweetly at Jane. The detective's protective instincts forced her to stay in the driveway until Maura was safe inside her home.

As she was walking up the final flight of stairs to her apartment, Jane's phone began to began to vibrate. She pulled it from her back pocket as she was unlocking her door. She didn't recognize the number, and she immediately felt a little nervous considering everything she had gone through with Hoyt recently. She slid her thumb to the right to answer it. "Rizzoli." Her voice was tense.

"Jay... Oh my god. It's so good to hear your voice."

"Who the hell is this? It's not funny you fucking bastard."

"It's me, babe! It's Alex.."

"That's bullshit and you know it. Who are you?" Jane was fighting back the tears. It definitely sound like Alex, but that wasn't possible.

"Didn't you hear about The Dealer getting killed? It's over, Jay. I'm coming home!"

Jane's ears began to ring and she felt light-headed. She gripped the phone so tightly her knuckles turned white. "Prove it."

"Prove what, Jay? That I'm alive?"

Jane remained silent, waiting for the proof she needed.

"Okay...ummm lemme see. I remember your birthmark. The one on on your left hip, just below your panty-line. The one I always loved to kiss."

Jane's breath hitched and she could feel tears streaming down her face. She brought her hand to her mouth, trying to contain the sob that would inevitably escape her lips. She felt like she was going to suffocate. She put the phone on speaker and sat it on the kitchen counter. She placed her hands on the edge of the counter, leaning into them in an attempt to steady herself. It's not real. You're dreaming. It can't be happening. She's dead. You went to her funeral. She's dead. Jane she is DEAD. Wake up, Rizzoli. You better wake up right fucking now.

"Jay.. babe, are you there?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Alex could only hear sobs coming over the line.

"I know it's confusing, Jay. They put me in the witness protection program after the bust. Babe you have to know that I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you everything so you wouldn't worry, but I couldn't. They put me on the first plane to Montana. But I'm coming home tomorrow!"

The excitement in her voice was evident to Jane. Jane was excited too, but she felt so many emotions, she couldn't sort them out immediately. She struggled to find words, but she knew she needed to say something to Alex.

"I.. I uh.. wow. T-that's great, Alex."

"Aren't you happy, Jane?" She only used Jane's full first name when the conversation turned serious.

"What? Yeah! Of course I am. It's just.. It's a lot, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know. So can you pick me up from the airport tomorrow?"

"Um.. yeah, sure, I guess. I'll have to let Korsak know I need the day, but it shouldn't be a problem."

"Korsak? They've got you working homicide now?"

"It was more my choice. I put in for a transfer after everything that happened."

The two talked for a few more minutes before Alex ended the call to finish packing. Jane moved from the kitchen to her couch and covered her face in her hands. She thought back to the day she had received the news. She had been annoyed with Alex the night before it happened, but she couldn't remember why. For someone that hated talking about her feelings, Jane found it ironic that those were the only things she remembered vividly about the day her fiancee died. She remembered having to put their argument on hold as she got dressed as a prostitute to work her undercover operation that night. She knew Alex was preparing for her biggest bust of her career the next morning. After working the undercover operation all night, Jane stopped by the coffee shop in her hooker clothes before heading home to sleep. Thinking back on the worst day of her life, she realized that was an important day for more than one reason.

That's why I hated her. I didn't hate her when I met her. I hated her after I met her. I hated her because she reminded me of Alex dying. I was there, talking to her, taking out my bad mood on her, while Alex was dying. Oh god..

Without acknowledging it midnight, Jane began to dial Maura's number. After only two rings, she heard the blonde's sleepy voice.

"Maura! Shit, I should have known you'd be asleep. I'm sorry. I've gotta tell you this though." Maura was fully awake once she heard the urgency in Jane's voice. She stopped her before she could continue speaking.

"Jane, is everything alright? Do you need me to come over?"

"No, well - maybe. If you want. I don't know. No. Just.. hear me out, will ya? Everything's fine, I just need to say this. I realize now why I hate you. Hated you, actually. And the good news is, I never really hated you! I just hated what you reminded me of!"

"I don't understand how that's any better. Could you elaborate?"

"When we met in the coffee shop that morning, Alex was dying. I guess once I figured out where I was while she was being shot to death, I associated you with her dying."

"Well, Jane, that's quite an epiphany you've had. How do you feel?" Jane wasn't prepared for her question. She grew silent, trying to sort out exactly how it made her feel. She didn't want to lie to Maura anymore. She realized the full truth of her earlier conversation with the doctor. Maura really did deserve better.

"I.. I don't really know. Kind of shitty, I mean about how I treated you all this time."

"Jane, I'm not worried about that. I'm more concerned with making sure you're alright after having that realization about Alex's death." Jane smiled at how selfless Maura always was.

"Well that's just it! She's not dead!" Jane explained everything she had learned within the last hour. Maura initially thought Jane was going insane, but after hearing the whole story, it made sense. She noticed that the more Jane talked about picking up Alex the next day, the more her excitement dwindled. She chalked it up to Jane being nervous and this being a lot of information to process in such a short amount of time. Before they ended the call, Maura made sure Jane knew she was there for her if she needed to talk to anyone. Jane thanked her for the sentiment, and apologized again for waking her. Maura genuinely confessed it was no trouble at all. After hanging up, Jane enjoyed her first full night of uninterrupted sleep in three years. Maura, on the other hand, found it difficult to rest. To her, this was someone to take Jane away from her just as she had made her first friend since returning to Boston.