Chapter 73

Sitting at her vanity, putting on the makeup that was part of her daily beauty regimen, Mercedes couldn't stop herself from stealing glances at Sam as he moved around the bedroom getting dressed. They hadn't spoken since their encounter in the shower and despite her best efforts not to care Mercedes wondered what had suddenly made him so silent.

Sam was dressed in gray pants, a deep blue button down that made his eyes gleam brighter, his hair tamed by European salon products, he looked really good. Mercedes stared at her reflection in the mirror. She was far less polished than he was in her long pink sweater that fell off one shoulder, her heather gray leggings, and her hair, hopeless. Had they always been a mismatched pair? Was she always this plain while he shined like a diamond? Quinn probably looked flawless even in her jail cell, her hair perfectly styled and even if she were forced to don a prison jumpsuit she would make it look like high fashion.

Catching Mercedes off guard Sam came up from behind and placed his hand over hers and simply said, "Don't".

Embarrassment flushed over her as she dropped the foundation applicator she held, a neon light had been shined on her insecurities and now he knew how she saw herself – marked and scarred. Seconds ticked by and Sam held fast to her hand, his long fingers weaved through her own. Inexplicably they both stared at their entwined hands, so still like a marble sculpture. Mercedes looked up at him uncertain about what he wanted from her as he stood so still behind her chair.

Then just as suddenly he was gone, back to searching through his drawers for a belt.

"You look prettier without makeup," he said from across the room.

Instinctively a protest rose within Mercedes, she looked far too young to go without, but the words never managed to leave her mouth. Their eyes met and a look passed across his face one that was so familiar, the ghost of the man she lost and it surrounded her like an embrace. Somehow something fleeting managed to give her a bit of peace, calmed her nerves and helped steel her for the impending pain ahead.

"So Beth's still asleep?" he asked breaking their silence and rousing her from her thoughts.

Her little scapegoat had let her down, refusing to wake with the sun for the first time in her young life. She was supposed to shield her from this weirdness, give her something to occupy her mind instead of obsessing about Sam and Quinn.

"Yes she is. She had an eventful night."

"We all did," replied Sam fussing with the cuff on his sleeve.

The pull to wrap her arms around him and beg him to stay with her like this, back in their life, resuming their old routine was overwhelming. Mercedes gripped the sides of her chair forcing herself to stay put. They spent one night together, and as wonderful as it felt to her it didn't mean that it changed anything for Sam.

Watching him out of the corner of her eye while she pretended to do her hair, her heart filling every time he opened a drawer or went into the closet to retrieve something, Mercedes couldn't help but smile at how normal it all seemed, like somehow they had been transported back a year and it was just an ordinary Saturday morning. Sam moved like he knew the place, not once did he ask where anything was, he just knew. Did he even realize how much he seemed to instinctively remember about his life? This room wasn't as foreign to him as he claimed, not by the way he moved around it with such assurance. That gave her hope that he remembered more about her too, locked away in his mind, she still was there, and all he needed was more time in her presence to help it come forth. Then she caught herself. There was no more time, with one conversation Sam was poised to shatter what little that was left between them.

"Did you want to take her with you to your father's house? I can wake her up and get her ready."

"No I don't think that's a good idea. See I have to go see Quinn afterwards and she can't..." His eyes fell to his feet, the words left dangling between them.

"Right of course," Mercedes said quickly. "I know you and Quinn have a lot to talk about."

Mercedes had forgotten that he wanted to see her today, now she had no choice but to tell him where Quinn was, before he arrived at the Beacon and discovered her missing.

"We have a lot to talk about too," he announced. "Before I have to go."

He brushed by her, the air filling with the scent of his aftershave, Mercedes closed her eyes cherishing all the little elements of Sam that were suddenly back in her realm. His clothes would smell like him again, no longer would she have to roll herself up in one of his shirts just to get a hint of his essence. The slight clinking sound that his watch made as he moved his arm, the way he destroyed his hair with every pass of his hand, the deep rich sound of his laugh, and that smile, so wide and bright that still made her heart leap each time she saw it on his face. He was back now and she would give anything to get him to stay. But she didn't dare tell him that, so scared she might freak him out and drive him away. Besides he was probably thinking of Quinn, his thoughts had probably left the house long ago. He was somewhere off dreaming of Quinn and their wonderful future nine months down the line.

Baby pitched squeals blared through the monitor, as finally Beth came through and woke up sparing her at least for the moment from the conversation that would change her life, or more accurately the next stage of her life, because Mercedes knew the inevitable conclusion that was barreling toward them and she was powerless to stop it. Stories of their past, love and support, friendship, and not even hardcore seduction had proven enough to sway Sam. He still wanted to be with Quinn and there was nothing Mercedes could do to get him to feel differently. At least now she'd have a little more time with her two favorite Evans before everything fell apart.

Sam tended to Beth while Mercedes stood in the middle of their bedroom slowly turning to take in all its contents, the museum that she had maintained for over the past nine months, painstakingly keeping all evidence of Sam alive in this room and in her life. It all had been for nothing. Sam came back and didn't want any of it. He walked in and turned his nose up at the life they created and at the very idea that he used to like being a part of it. This had been it, the last play, the big finale, she had opened herself up to him completely, exposed every bit of her heart, even cried and pleaded for him to stay with her and give her a chance. It was funny, at the party Sam had been the one talking about chances and wanting to move home, and she couldn't trust it. Even before she found out about Dwight's plot with Sam, she had somehow known it was all an act. The last place he wanted to be was with her. Sure he disputed that, claiming he wanted to be with her since he arrived at the house the night before, but there is more than one way to want someone. And the way Sam wanted her was not about anything lasting or even about love, it was solely about physical attraction.

For a time during the night they spent together, making love, and just talking in each other's arms, Mercedes had let herself start to believe that there was more going on between them, that deeper emotions were starting to bleed through. Sam was so convincing when he wanted to be and Mercedes always had a weakness when it came to him, so she let herself believe that his ardent desire was a reflection of the inner workings of his heart. A shower can bring such clarity, even one that wasn't cold. When Sam brought up wanting to get her out of his system, all of her hopes flowed down the drain along with the water they had wasted. Even if there was something more building inside of him, he wasn't about to let himself feel it. He wouldn't let anything get in the way of him being with Quinn.

Sweet baby sounds filled the kitchen, gurgles and coos, with the occasional whine as Sam sat at the table feeding Beth. Her baby seat was attached to a highchair base so she was almost at eye level with Sam. In a quiet soothing tone, Sam spoke to Beth as he fed her mashed sweet potatoes from a baby spoon. This was a first for Beth, being fed by her daddy in their home, and she should have raced to get the phone to capture it on video, but she didn't move. Instead she stood leaning against the door watching the two of them together.

Mercedes flashed forward in her mind to Sam and another little girl eating cereal at the table, milk spilling out of their bowls as they raced to see who could finish faster. This little girl had light brown curly hair and huge dimples that were always on her face even when she wasn't smiling. Mercedes wiped milk from the little girl's chin and kissed her on the forehead, then she turned to Sam and kissed him on the lips getting little butterflies as he looked at her. Even after so much time, she still got flutters in his presence. This was the family she imagined, months in the hospital by his side, hoping for a chance to make this real, a perfect little family. Then they found out Beth was Sam's and the dreams about that little curly haired girl faded away, replaced by the knowledge that Sam needed to wake up and come back for something far more real. He had a daughter waiting for him now, just not one with her.

Mercedes shook herself out of her sad thoughts. She wasn't sure why that even came into her head when she hadn't thought of those dreams in so long. Beth was her focus now, practically since she was born, and right in front of her eyes was a miracle. Sam feeding his daughter in their kitchen, truly he was back and that was so amazing.

Beth had finished her breakfast and was happily drooling all over her activity center that attached to her baby seat. Every now and then the baby would turn her attention to the brightly colored balls and stars that surrounded her, pushing on them with her small hands, to get them to light up and make sounds that filled the quiet of the kitchen. Mercedes watched Sam smile every time Beth hit a musical ball, cheering her on with a "good girl" as he quickly cleaned up the dishes.

"Nice glasses," Mercedes giggled as she stepped into the room, finally making her presence known. "Did Figgins pick those out?"

Sam frowned as he put Beth's bowl into the dishwasher. "What you don't like them?"

"Right on trend, the hipster nerd look is still going strong," replied Mercedes trying to keep a straight face. It wasn't that the glasses were ugly, more that they didn't seem like something Sam would wear.

"That's it." He whipped the glasses off his face and placed them on the counter. "I'm not wearing these anymore."

"No you should," she said momentarily sliding into nurse mode. "You need to stabilize your vision."

"I don't care about my eyesight," he said with something between a pout and a scowl. "I can deal with some blurriness, but I can't take being mocked. Did you know Mike and Kali teased me relentlessly the other day? Kept calling me Clark Kent." Mercedes tried to stifle her laughter, a task that was proving to be quite difficult, until she saw Sam's face fall. "Not you too. You're laughing at me."

Mercedes checked that Beth was still occupied in her baby chair before she went over to him. "I didn't mean to laugh Sam. I'm so sorry," she said reaching up and rubbing his head softly. Sam relaxed a little, leaning down slightly to give her easier access to his head. "You forgive me?"

"Only if you keep rubbing my head," he replied.

"You got it." She rubbed his head a few more strokes. "But I think you need to put these glasses back on because I've got something you need to see clearly." She stepped around him to retrieve a box covered in blue and red polka dots from the small desk a few feet away. "It's from Beth," she announced as she handed him the present.

Sam smiled as he put his glasses on and examined the exterior of the box. "Nice wrapping job baby girl." He went over to sit in front of Beth. "My baby is a genius."

Mercedes laughed as she watched them from her spot near the center island. "Without a doubt."

Carefully Sam opened his gift, lifting the lid, pulling back the white tissue paper, to reveal a shirt inside. He held up the royal blue t-shirt, showing it to both Mercedes and Beth. "My daddy is a superhero," he read out loud. Dimples erupted on his face as his smile widened.

"Do you like it?" Mercedes asked.

"I do." He nodded, still grinning. "Though I'm not so sure I fit the description."

"Defying the odds and coming back from a nine month coma seemed pretty super to us. Besides you always were my hero. You've saved my life so many times."

"How did I save your life? It's not like I took a bullet for you."

"No I've never been shot. Thank God, because I know you would have jumped in front of me. The thought of anything happening to you…" She shook her head getting a little choked up. Something did happen to him, and it was all her fault.

"Hey let's not talk about this anymore. Thank you little girl for my gift," said Sam kissing Beth on the head. "And you." He walked over to Mercedes and pulled her into a tight hug. "I need to find a special way to show my appreciation."

"I should be the one thanking you," she said looking up at him.

Sam brushed the hair out of her face, his smile morphing into a sexy smirk. "I felt your gratitude when we were in the closet. You thanked me so well."

"I'm being serious." She laughed lightly her cheeks warming as she recalled how bold she had been with him the closet earlier in the morning. So many emotions overwhelmed her, things she had been trying to stifle since he woke up not remembering her, but in that moment, wrapped in his arms, she couldn't help but give herself to him completely. "You've lost so much, parts of your life, your memory all because you shielded me in the car. If you had just stayed in your own seat –"

"Hey, hey," he said, rubbing her shoulders. "I thought we weren't talking about this anymore."

"You don't get it. My airbag never deployed. I probably would have gone through the windshield if you hadn't taken some of the impact. You saved me. Thank you for that."

"And if you hadn't done CPR on me when I fell out of the car I wouldn't be here right now. The way I see it, we saved each other. We both made it." He lifted her head by the chin and gave her a crooked smile. "Let's just hold onto that and forget all the rest."

"You're right," she said trying her best to free herself from the dark place she'd gone to. "I'm sorry I got all weepy and depressing there."

"I only want to see smiles from you for the rest of the day. That's my birthday wish."

"I'll do my best." Mercedes agreed, attempting to pull herself together.

"Good." He gave her shoulder one last squeeze before turning away. "And to help you in that goal, I have a plan. Phase one is breakfast."

"There's not much food in the house," she admitted feeling a little embarrassed. Mercedes had let everyday things like grocery shopping fall to the wayside for months while she spent much of her time at the hospital with Sam.

"I noticed. I've been all through the kitchen trying to find something to throw together."

"Sorry I didn't expect to have company."

"Still where's the food for you? No wonder your father got you those shakes."

Mercedes shrugged, not wanting to get into yet another conversation about her eating habits. "I eat on the go."

"You're all anal about Beth's feeding schedule but you don't even make time for yourself. What's up with that?" Again Mercedes shrugged. "That's not acceptable to me."

She smiled even as she sighed. As much as she hated talking about eating with anyone, she couldn't help but love that she was having such a conversation with Sam. "Not even back home a day and already with the nagging."

"Wives nag. Husbands -"

"Harass?" she asked cutting him off.

Sam shook his head and smiled but didn't respond to her retort. "So," he said drawing out the word. "I pulled out my cookbook and tried to see if I could find something to make with the meager contents of this kitchen."

"What do you mean your cookbook?" asked Mercedes.

"This one right here," he said pushing the open book toward her. "I got it off the bookshelf over there."

"What makes you think it's yours?" she asked searching his face in confusion.

Sam gave her a strange look. "For one thing I've written all inside it. Notes and stuff. If it's not mine I need to buy a replacement copy."

"It was Beiste's first. She gave it to you when you showed so much interest in cooking."

"Okay then, if the book belongs to me why are you acting so weird about it?"

"I'm not acting weird."

"Yeah you are. Your eyes got all huge there for a minute."

"I'm just curious as to why you picked that particular book off the shelf." A chill ran through her as she looked down at the cookbook in front of them. The pages were tagged with tiny colored slips of paper, bookmarks he had placed to mark the recipes he wanted to try.

"I don't know Mercedes. I was drawn to it. It's not that big a deal," he responded with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"I guess not." She tried to swallow her disappointment. She had hoped Sam had experienced another emerging memory, instead it seemed to be nothing but coincidence.

"I used to call you Cede?" he asked tilting his head and looking at her strangely.

"Uh. Yeah, pretty much everyone does, well everyone that's close to me. Why?"

"Just seeing these notes I wrote to myself in the cookbook. Like this one here." Sam pointed to the page. "Make this for Cede, but without the cheddar. She doesn't like cheese on her eggs." He looked up from the book. "There's a bunch of stuff like that in here. Seems like I had big plans to cook for you, Cede."

"I really don't know what you were up to when you cooked. You always made me stay out of the kitchen until you were done."

Sam nodded as if that new information made sense to him. "I wanted to surprise you this morning Cede, but unless we want rocky road ice cream or guacamole, we're out of luck."

"Rocky road sounds great. I'll grab spoons."

Sam turned up his nose. "I don't think so Cede. I need something a little more substantial."

"Have Figgins fix you something when you go to your dad's house. I'm fine with ice cream."

"Cede," he started. "You know what? I can't do it."

"Oh well, more for me." She pulled one spoon out of the drawer instead of two.

"Not the ice cream, I meant calling you 'Cede'. I've been trying to test it out and it doesn't work for me."

She raised an eyebrow. "My name doesn't work for you?"

"That nickname doesn't suit you. You don't seem like a 'Cede' to me."

"Maybe because you don't know me well enough yet," she said pulling the container of ice cream from the freezer. A painful concession, but sadly the truth, it had been only a couple months since Sam woke up, not much time for him to get to know her at all.

"If I start demanding you drink a protein shake instead of eating that ice cream your eyes will flash darker and your posture will get super erect like you're itching for a fight and if I touch you right here." He ran his finger down the slope of her nose, causing the butterflies that lived in her belly to flutter and fly. She loved when Sam touched her there. "You'll get those moon eyes and start smiling at me. I know you plenty well enough by now. It's not that."

"What is it then?" she asked feeling a little breathless from the simplest touch.

"The name 'Cede' is so short and to the point, like a pat on the back. You're softer than that, more drawn out, like a warm hug. The name 'Mercedes' feels like that to me, it fits you, but 'Cede', not so much."

"Seems like you've given this a lot of thought."

"You think I'm strange, don't you?" he asked as he looked over at Beth still occupied with her activity center.

"I'm not sure what to think," she replied, her face falling. "I didn't even notice you weren't calling me 'Cede' until you pointed it out and now I'm a little sad about it. Yet another thing that's changed between us."

"I thought we agreed to all smiles today." Sam pulled her against him hugging her close.

She must look pretty pathetic if he was back to doling out comfort. This was his birthday and probably the last good minutes she would have with him, like ever, and here she was wasting it with her own personal pity party. Still she wouldn't turn down the opportunity to be in his arms, so she lapped up the hug as she tried to move past her sadness.

"You give the best hugs," she murmured against his chest.

"So do you. I remember thinking that when I was in the hospital, such strong arms on such a small woman."

"I'm not that small," she said stepping away reluctantly. "You're just used to the Amazonian model type women with freakishly long arms and legs. I'm fairly average actually."

"The last thing I would call you is average. I've never met anyone like you before."

Their eyes locked and for a moment it felt like she was being sucked into the green, drifting closer she put a hand on his chest to brace herself from the feeling. His hand closed over hers, gripping her fingers, as if he needed to hold on too.

"The ice cream is melting," she whispered when she felt his other hand caress her head.

Sam's eyes widened, like he suddenly realized what he had been doing. Moving away leaving Mercedes chilled by his absence he returned to his cookbook.

"I think we can do better than ice cream."

Curling up in a chair across from them at the table, Mercedes sipped the coffee Sam had made for her while she had watched. In her favorite purple mug, half coffee, half milk, lots of sugar, Sam had made it perfectly without even asking her how she liked her coffee. He had made tea for himself, again causing her to wonder how Sam knew that she would want coffee and not tea. The little evidences of the Sam she used to know hovered around her like a shadow, filling her with just enough hope to make her cling to dreams she really needed to let go. Delaying the talk Sam wanted to have to revel in these last minutes of ignorant bliss with Beth and Sam wasn't healthy. She was manufacturing a life where they were a happy family in her head, watching it play out in live action with Sam and Beth as her human puppets. Only she couldn't control the two of them. Soon Sam would be gone and Beth's highchair would be empty, leaving her alone in the house with nothing but memories of what might have been.

She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself, the situation was what it was, and it was past time she dealt with that. Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she rejoined the present fully engaging in the precious scene before her. Sam feeding Beth earlier might have been the best thing she'd seen in such a long time, something she had feared that might never happen.

"You are so good with her," Mercedes said, her cheek propped on her hand with a smile on her face. "Such a good dad." Sam didn't respond, but his eyes shined brighter as he continued to play with the baby.

"That's because I just fed her. You should have seen me trying to get her dressed earlier she wasn't pleased with me at all."

"I think she might be one of those babies that prefer to be naked. You'll have to let me know how she is when she's older. If she streaks though the house ripping off her diaper."

"I can't wait until she starts running around. I have such plans for you Beth," he said addressing his daughter.

"Take videos or pictures, I'd love to see," Mercedes' voice hitched and she turned her head to control the rush of emotions that overcame her.

For an instant her mind flashed to the little curly haired girl that lived in her dreams and she could see Sam kissing her head the same as he was doing with Beth right now. She willed herself to let the image go, there was no way she was getting anything close to that life with him now. These last cherished moments were probably the only chance of being a family unit with him, even if the baby wasn't her own, in her heart it still felt nearly the same. Not only was she going to lose Sam but she was going to lose Beth too, it almost seemed like too much. Why did life give her these two people to love only to snatch them away?

"Why are you making it sound like you won't be around to see it all happening live?"

Her mouth slacked open slightly. "Are you being serious right now? You know why. Soon you and Beth are going to be off living with Quinn, and I think it might be a little strange to have your ex-wife lurking around."

"Quinn can't be with Beth yet." Sadness hit his eyes. The same look he got whenever he brought up Quinn now.

"I know not now, but eventually she will be able to, once she gets the help she needs. I know you'll make sure she gets her parental rights back."

Mercedes' stomach turned, the guilt rising, she loved that part of Sam's personality the way he looked out for his family and friends. She didn't want him to lose any of that, but he had already helped Quinn when he had her released. Wasn't that enough? How much did Quinn expect him to do for her? It was like she was taking advantage of his generosity because she knew he would never say no, and the thought of that just pissed Mercedes off. Quinn seemed like she expected Sam to drop everything and be there for her, but what about his family? He had a wife and a child that needed him just as much.

"True, I will do anything to help Quinn."

She loved him too much. Not even all the ways he hurt her could shake his hold on her heart. It was devastating to face the horrible fact that she might be stuck feeling this way for the rest of her life, while he was off living and loving someone else. Didn't seem fair for cupid to stab her so deeply, make her bleed for a man that didn't want to be with her. Strike that, Sam did want to be with her, just not forever, just long enough to satisfy his curiosity and get his mistress free.

"Yeah I know," she said under her breath before brushing off her self-pity and putting on a smile. "So Beth is going to have the family she deserves complete with two parents that love her. That's a good thing."

"Is that how you want it? Beth living with me and Quinn?"

"She is your child, of course she should be with you. That's what you want as well right?"

"I trust you with Beth more than I trust myself." He covered his face with his hands. "I'm not sure I know what I'm doing."

"What are you talking about? You're great with her and it's not like you haven't been around kids before."

"I'm not talking about care taking stuff. I'm talking about my life. Look at how much I've messed up already and it has only been a few weeks. I'm so scared that I'm going to screw up even more and hurt my daughter."

"Hey," she said getting up and standing in front of where he sat. She rubbed the back of his head to get his attention. He looked at her, his eyes glossed with unshed tears. "You're not going to screw anything up. Just the fact that you fought like hell to make it out of that coma and get back to her says so much about you. Your strength, your resilience, how much you love your family. Beth is such a lucky little girl because she has you back in her life."

"But what I did with Quinn, having her released when she could…" he stammered, bowing his head. "When she could hurt her. I might have made things worse."

He exhaled sharply, arms encircling her waist, his head pressed against her belly, letting Mercedes stroke his hair gently.

"You'll never let anything happen to Beth. As long as you're with her she'll be safe."

"You have such faith in me," he said sitting up.

"I know I married a good man. You've always been my hero and I know you'll be nothing less for Beth." She smiled as she kissed his forehead. "And whenever you start doubting that, go put on your superhero t-shirt."

Sam stared at her, a small smile on his face. Mercedes wished she could read his mind, desperate to know his thoughts. She hoped her words had made him feel better and lifted his mood. No matter how bleak things might be for their marriage, Mercedes knew that Beth was going to have a great life with her father.

"Look at that." They turned their attention to Beth in her baby seat fast asleep. "I guess we bored her," Sam said laughing lightly.

"I guess we did." Mercedes managed a smile but her stomach dropped as she realized without Beth to occupy them they were free to talk.

"I am going to put her down, then we can talk. Sound good?" he asked as he unhooked Beth from her chair.

Mercedes simply nodded unwilling to form the words that ultimately would lead her to losing the life she had held so dear.

Somewhere between watching Sam wipe drool off Beth's chin and seeing him flip through a cookbook Mercedes decided that honesty wasn't the best policy. Giving Sam Quinn's message had been big on her mind, yet the words hadn't quite managed to leave her mouth. There was this calm between them this morning, maybe even something close to happiness, and bringing up Quinn would only destroy that and throw them back into the turmoil of the night before. Besides this is what she wanted, Quinn locked away and out of their lives. The way things were going this morning it was clear she had made the right decision in asking Dwight to help her remove Quinn from the equation, Sam seemed more relaxed. He was focusing on Beth, and actually at home. If she told him that Quinn was downtown at the station, Sam would be out the door running to her rescue. Always the hero, her superman.

In minutes Sam was back looking a little green.

"Sam what's wrong? Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm feeling fine, really good actually. That's sort of the problem." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

"Maybe you need to eat," she said getting up and opening the refrigerator. "If I had known you were coming over I would've bought groceries I just…"

"Hey," he said from behind her. "I don't want any food. I need to get this off my chest." He extended his hand beckoning her to take it. Reluctantly Mercedes grabbed it feeling like she was being led to her own execution. Into the living room they went to sit on the couch, Sam still keeping hold of her hand. For a few beats he said nothing, eyes trained on Beth sleeping in the portacrib a few feet away. "Do you think she'll suck her thumb?" He asked finally speaking.

Mercedes watched Sam a small smile spread on her face. "I don't know. She likes to have her fist balled up by her mouth while she sleeps but she never quite manages to put it all the way in her mouth."

"I used to suck my thumb. My mom said that was why I had to get braces, sucking my thumb made my front teeth get bucked. The thing is I only did it for a few years. My mom broke me of the habit by putting this stuff on my thumb tasted like peanut butter mixed with hot sauce. Still can't stand peanut butter to this day."

"Sam, you didn't bring me in here to tell me about your childhood habits. Just say what you need to. I can take it." Mercedes threw her shoulders back trying to exude nonexistent courage. She didn't want to have this conversation with him and she was terrified that she would shatter before he got all the words out.

He took a deep breath. "Okay well after everything that happened between us last night and today I can't help but feel a little guilty."

"Right I can see that. Your heart is with her and I'm sure you regret some things and…"

"No that's just it," he interrupted. "I don't regret anything. I'm actually happy."

"And that is a bad thing?"

Here's the part where he tells her that the sex was great but didn't mean anything. Then he'll follow it up with you're a nice girl but Quinn is the one. And finally end it with a big helping of no one can ever know what happened between us.

Sam twisted the wedding band on his finger as he spoke. "Yes it's a bad thing, because it's going to make it so much harder to say goodbye to you."