A/N: Whoa, baby! I'm blown away by the kind reviews I've received! I wasn't even sure if I wanted to finish this story, but now I know I've gotta give the people what they want. Anyway, on with it! This chapter is rated M for sex and such. As always, I don't own Rizzoli and Isles.
xxx
For the first time in a very long time, Jane was excited to get out of the bed the next morning. At the first sound of her alarm - which was a miracle in itself - she jumped out of bed and went to take a shower. As she continued to get ready to go pick up Alex, she felt a familiar pang in her stomach. She shook her head, and tried to think of something to take her mind off of it. Once she finished buttoning the last button on her shirt, she looked in the mirror to check herself out. She had taken a little more time with her appearance, but her curls were still messy, and compared to most other women, she still wore minimal make up. She had, however, darkened her eyeliner a little (which was pretty much the only make-up trick she knew of). Satisfied with her results, she grabbed her coffee cup and headed out the door.
The feeling in her stomach refused to subside, even after a jelly donut. As she was sitting on a bench in the terminal, she heard the familiar "bing" of her phone. She took it off her belt clip, and saw she had a text from Maura.
Jane - I hope you have a great day with Alex. She's lucky to have you. - M.
Jane smiled at Maura's thoughtfulness before replying.
Thanks, Maur! I think I'm the lucky one though. :P
One more "bing."
I'm not sure what :P is supposed to mean, Jane. - M.
LOL, I'll explain later, Maur.
Just as she was locking her phone, she heard a familiar voice call her name. She turned around to find its source, and her eyes met icy blue ones, full of tears. Their reunion wasn't anything like the movies. It was emotional, but not romantic. Alex didn't immediately drop her bags and run into Jane's arms. Jane didn't pick her up and twirl her around as they kissed. They locked eyes as they stood still, taking in the sight of each other. Jane noticed that Alex's hair was longer than she remembered it. She also noticed Alex looked refreshed, as if she had simply taken a three-year vacation instead of being monitored closely by U.S. Marshals that whole time.
Alex's face turned from happiness to something Jane didn't recognize as she took in the sight of her tall, tanned homicide detective. Jane's features didn't reflect her jovial personality anymore. There was something hardened about her. She could see it behind those brown eyes. Something had changed. Maybe it was the grieving that had taken a toll on her. Maybe it was bigger than that. Alex imagined that Jane hadn't been getting much sleep lately.
Slowly at first, Alex began walking towards Jane, but gained speed as she approached her target. Her bags hit the floor with a heavy thud and each woman rushed to embrace the other. Alex pulled her head out of Jane's shoulder and tried to kiss her. Jane dodged Alex's lips so that they landed on her cheek. She pulled the smaller woman closer towards her. She didn't need intimacy right now. She just needed to know Alex was really here. And alive. Her actions didn't go unnoticed by Alex, who then confirmed that something had definitely changed about Jane.
Jane helped Alex carry her bags into the apartment, and the two women talked about the plans for the day. Alex told Jane she would like some time to go visit her family and asked Jane to accompany her. Jane had suggested she go alone and spend quality time with them. She offered some excuse about how she had to go back and follow up on a lead to a case. Truthfully, it was all becoming a bit much for Jane to take in at once, and she needed some time away from Alex to process everything. She offered Alex a ride to her parents' house, and as they were turning onto the street, Alex caught a glimpse of Jane's scar.
"Jay! What the hell happened to your hand?" Her voice held traces of horror and disgust.
Jane's eyes bolted towards Alex, momentarily leaving her driving to chance. Alex's reaction threw Jane completely off. She had never anticipated Alex to act like that. She hadn't even thought about how her fiancee would react to the marks that had been made since her 'death,' but she was certain she would not have expected this. She could feel her face burning red with shame.
"I - they're.. um.. can we talk about that later? It's kind of a long story..." And a story Jane wasn't sure if she was prepared to tell.
"Sure, Jane." She winced at Alex's use of her full name in that context. When they reached their destination, Alex leaned in for a chaste kiss, her hand on Jane's forearm rather than her hand. The smaller woman exited the car, and Jane flashed a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
xxx
After arriving at BPD, Jane found herself walking to the office of Dr. Isles with a coffee in one hand and a hot tea in the other. She stood in the doorway waiting for Maura to look up from her computer. "Jane! Hello! What are you doing here? How did it go this morning?" Maura was now standing in front of Jane, and without being prompted, she decided to hug the detective. Jane returned the gesture, albeit awkwardly as she tried not to spill either of the drinks she still held. Jane was the first to pull away. She handed Maura one of the cups she held.
"A peace offering for calling and waking you up last night." Maura's face lit up as she took the tea from Jane.
"Well that's really unnecessary, but thank you very much, Jane! So... how did it go this morning?"
Jane plopped down on Maura's couch, and started fidgeting with her hands. The doctor could tell by Jane's behavior that it wasn't exactly the reunion she had hoped for. She started to tell Jane that she didn't have to talk about it if she didn't want to, but Jane spoke first.
"I don't really know... I mean, it was fine I guess. She needed to go see her family. I dropped her off at her parents' house before I came here." Her eyes remained on the ground as she spoke, and by the time she was finished her hands were shoved underneath her thighs. That was a behavior Maura had never observed in the detective. Concerned she asked if Jane was experiencing any pain or muscle spasms.
"Wha- oh, no. I'm just cold, Maur." Her voice was still soft, and she waited for Maura to call bullshit on her lame excuse. Cold? Seriously, Rizzoli? Your hands are cold from carrying down two hot drinks in the middle of summer?
Maura knew Jane's excuse didn't make sense considering the circumstances Jane was already thinking of. Worried her friend may have a cold, she found herself at Jane's side asking if she felt sick or feverish. Jane denied having any symptoms of illness, but Maura still worried.
"You know, Jane, if you're still experiencing pain from time to time, it's perfectly normal. As much as you do every day, I wouldn't be surprised."
Jane's hands were sore after carrying both of Alex's 50 pound bags up five flights of stairs. But she didn't want to show anymore signs of weakness to later be ashamed of, so she remained silent.
"I could massage them if you like.." Maura's suggestion was hesitant and she was unsure of how Jane would react, but she wanted to help in whatever way she could. Jane turned slightly towards the doctor and slowly removed her hands from under her thighs. She held them up as they trembled with embarrassment, vulnerability, and fear. Jane was struck by the realization that those were exactly the emotions she felt when picking up Alex from the airport that morning. Suddenly, Maura's warm hands made contact with Jane's. The blonde's skilled fingers began to work the pain from Jane's hands and she felt the detective relax instantly at her touch. Neither of them said a word. Brown and hazel eyes both remained on the source of the contact. The familiar buzz of Jane's phone interrupted them. Jane reached with her left hand to answer the call without checking to see who it was. Meanwhile Maura's fingers moved to her right hand, continuing her ministrations on scarred skin and tissue.
"Rizzoli."
"Don't sound so happy, Jay." Alex's tone was sarcastic, but playful. Jane smiled a bit at the normalcy of their interaction. It had been the first organic interaction they had since Alex called last night.
"Sorry, Alex. It's just been a long day already at the precinct." Maura's eyes probed Jane in a questioning manner. Jane simply shrugged and rolled her eyes, and Maura knew the comment was only meant to cover Jane's difficulty to adjusting to Alex again. Jane found it odd that they were able to communicate so effectively without even saying anything, especially since they were still at each other's throats a week ago.
"Don't worry about it, babe. Listen.. I picked up my car from mom and dad's, and I was hoping I could meet you at the cafe for lunch!" Her enthusiasm was evident. Jane heard every word she said, but her mind was focused more on Maura's gentle hands that continued to massage her own. A barely audible moan escaped her lips, but it was loud enough for Maura to hear. Jane realized she had to offer Alex a response.
Feigning enthusiasm, she agreed to lunch at the cafe.
"Sounds great, Jay. See you in fifteen. I love you." Those last three words were so sincere. They were once so familiar, but now they scared Jane.
"Yeah, you too." She quickly hung up the phone before Alex had time to question her about it. Jane knew she didn't want to go to lunch alone with Alex. There was too much pressure to put up the facade of the old Jane. The Jane that hadn't grieved her fiancee or been nearly murdered, then kidnapped by a psychopath. She was thankful Angela had the day off so she wouldn't have to explain Alex's pseudo-death again. She didn't want to invite Frankie because he didn't know about it yet either. Maura was the only one who knew the latest in the situation, and after finding comfort and peace in her presence within the past thirty minutes, she was the only option that made sense. She pulled her hands from the doctor's grasp, and met her gaze.
"You hungry?"
xxx
While waiting on Alex to arrive, Maura thought about how grateful she was that she and Jane finally seemed to have formed a bond. Jane had trusted her enough to open up to her about Alex. She was the first one Jane called when she heard the news that Alex was alive. She even let her touch her hands, something Maura noticed long ago that was off-limits to anyone. On top of that, there seemed to be an ease when it came to communicating with Jane that she had never experienced with another person. As it turns out, she was also surprised that they could read each others thoughts just by sharing a look.
But she knew Alex's reappearance was taking its toll on Jane. Her eyes remained on Jane, Jane's eyes remained on the door, anticipating Alex's arrival. Maura watched her bounce her feet quickly, but quietly. She fidgeted with her hands as she propped her elbows on the table. A crease had formed in the middle of her brow. "Okay, here she comes."
Maura watched Jane's expression change dramatically. Scarred hands were shoved into her pants pockets as she stood up to greet Alex. Maura noticed Alex try and fail for the second time that day to meet Jane's lips with her own. Just as before, Jane moved at the last minute so the kiss landed on her cheek. Jane turned her attention to Maura and introduced the two women.
"So, Maura - this is Alex, my girlfr-"
"Fiancee." Alex interjected.
"Well if you would've let me finish... Anyway, Alex, this is Dr. Maura Isles, our Chief Medical Examiner." Jane's voice was proud as she introduced her new friend.
"It's very nice to meet you, Alex. Jane has told me about the circumstances of your relationship. I think it's wonderful that you two were able to reunite."
"Thanks, Dr. Isles. Hey, aren't you the new medical examiner that came in a week or so before I 'died?'" Alex used air quotes when she said the last word. Maura never understood why people did that. She thought they just looked silly.
"Yes, I suppose that's correct." Her response was short, but polite. She wanted to make a good impression for Jane.
The three women made small talk before Stanley practically threw their sandwiches onto the table.
"Well that guy seems like a dick." Maura was thrown off by Alex's crudeness. She was sure Jane had also made comments like that before, but never while they were in public. Sure she called Stanley a jerk to his face and said she hoped he died of psoriasis, but for some reason that was different to Maura. Jane never looked up from her sandwich with extra pickles. She was unsure of what to say. Maura decided to take this opportunity to inquire more about Alex.
"So, Alex, what are your plans now that you've moved back to Boston? Will you return to your job as a detective?" Jane looked at Maura with thankfulness in her eyes. This had been something she wondered about, but she hadn't yet felt comfortable enough to ask Alex about it herself. She certainly welcomed the opportunity for Maura to ask the tough questions for her.
"Actually, I've taken a job with the feds."
Jane almost choked on her lunch. "You what?"
"Yeah, sorry I haven't had a chance to tell you yet, Jay. I was just so happy to finally get to come home to you." She reached over to squeeze Jane's forearm. Again, Jane noticed she didn't touch her hand, even though it was freely resting on the table.
Maura moved the conversation along. "When do you start?"
"In about two months. They want to get everything squared away after me being in protection so long. I guess they've still gotta make sure I am who I say I am. Well.. who I really am, anyway." The two shared a small laugh while Jane remained expressionless.
The rest of their meal went on in pretty much the same manner. Maura and Alex continued to make conversation while Jane chimed in occasionally, but mostly remained focused on wondering how her relationship with Alex could continue if her new job required her to move. Maura didn't feel as if she was forced to keep up the conversation. She was thankful to be given an opportunity to find out more about the woman who had stolen Jane's heart so many years ago. She learned that Alex studied criminology at BCU, and like Jane, had always wanted to become a detective. She learned that Alex was the youngest of four daughters and that both her parents were still alive and well, living in a quiet neighborhood in Boston. She learned that Jane had been the one to propose to Alex, which did not surprise her. Despite Jane's protest, Alex even told her the story of how Jane proposed. It had been at a New Years Eve party. Alex described the elegant black dress and pearl necklace Jane had worn that night. The picture I found must have been taken the night they became engaged. Maura was putting the pieces together as Alex continued to describe how Jane asked the most important question of her life.
"She didn't get down on one knee or anything, but she timed it perfectly. She waited until we were about to start counting down to midnight and pulled out this beauty!" Alex held up her left hand so Maura could inspect the ring. Maura knew the diamond was worth enough money to require Jane to save for months in advance in order to afford it. "As you probably know, Jay doesn't really have a way with words. She just held the ring up, flashed that grin that makes me melt every time I see it, and said 'let's get married, Alex.'" Maura noted that Alex seemed a bit disappointed in Jane's proposal, but she thought it suited the detective. Jane Rizzoli was a woman of action who did not reveal her emotions easily. Maura was sure that in Jane's mind, she had already proved her love to Alex and felt no need to suddenly profess how the woman made her feel during a proposal.
Just as the Alex was finishing up the story, Jane was relieved to get a call from Frost saying he'd made a break in their latest case. She welcomed the interruption before Alex could tell anymore stories about their relationship. It wasn't that she didn't want Maura to know about them. She just felt it wasn't the right time or place for them to talk about it. She gave Alex a peck on the cheek and walked with Maura back to the homicide unit.
xxx
Later that night, Maura thought about her first impression of Alex. She was certainly physically attractive. She stood about the same height as Maura, but her physical build lay on a spectrum somewhere between that of Maura and Jane's. She had curves, but she was also muscular. Her pale skin complimented her bright blue eyes and brown hair.
Her personality on the other hand seemed a bit obnoxious to Maura, but she couldn't exactly figure out why. Perhaps it was because she had seemed a little self-centered at lunch. She hadn't even taken the time to talk to Jane about plans she had made on her own, but fully expected Jane to be along for the ride. Maura also noticed that Jane didn't seem like she could be herself around Alex, which led her to hypothesize that Jane hadn't been that open with Alex either. She didn't want to admit it to Jane because it was clear that Jane had cared for and deeply loved Alex in the past, but Maura didn't believe this was the healthiest relationship.
Still, that did not stop her from believing that Jane could achieve true happiness again with Alex. She had seen it happen to other couples she had known. Not in these exact circumstances, but she had known for people to be torn apart for whatever reason and then reunited stronger than ever after a period of adjustment.
At Jane's apartment, the tensions were building between her and her fiancee. Alex wasted no time once they had entered the apartment to ask why she had been behaving so "weirdly" at dinner, and why she wasn't wearing her engagement ring.
"It's just a lot to take in, Alex. And I'm not wearing it because I wasn't sure if you still wanted to go through with the wedding after everything that's happened." Jane knew she hit a nerve with Alex with that last statement. She saw the shorter woman's body language become defensive as she braced herself for Alex's response.
"And why wouldn't I?" Her tone was flat, but seemed accusatory to Jane.
"I'm not saying you don't want to, I'm just saying I wasn't sure. You're starting a new job soon that you're probably going to have to move for. And I've changed a lot since you left. You and I have to get used to each other again. We've got a lot going on right now. I just want to make sure we both still want this despite how different things are now."
"The job isn't going to be a problem, Jane. I've already started looking at apartments for us in D.C." Jane's eyes shot up to look at Alex. She'd never wanted to leave Boston, and Alex knew that. At least she used to. Before starting another argument, Jane decided it was best to revisit that issue later. "I know I want this, Jay. I just wish I knew you did." Alex started walking towards the bedroom, leaving Jane alone in the kitchen. Jane sighed and lifted her hands to cover her face before using the heel of her palms to rub her temples. She knew Alex had just given her a choice. She could walk in the bedroom and try to alleviate Alex's worries about their relationship, or she could crack open a beer and turn the Sox game on. She honestly didn't know how to be truthful with Alex and make the situation better. She really didn't know if she still wanted to marry Alex. Sure, she loved her, and she would do anything for her, but it had only been one day and the last thing she wanted to do with Alex was spend the rest of her life with her. It seemed like Alex was still the same person from three years ago, but so much had happened to Jane she wasn't even sure if she should be with anyone given her recent emotional state. Finally, Jane grew tired of weighing her options. She just wanted a moment of peace. She began following Alex's previous path to the bedroom and decided she would say whatever she had to in order for everything to be okay, if only for a night.
When she opened the door, she found Alex sitting on the bed cross-legged with tears brimming her eyes. Jane moved to sit in front of her. "Alex, what do I have to do for you to believe I still want you?" Alex looked up at Jane and placed her hand on Jane's knee. Her blue eyes searched Jane's intently although she was unsure of what she was looking for within them. Slowly, she leaned forward and closed the distance between them. Her lips lingered just above Jane's while the two women held eye contact. Jane knew this was her cue.
A scarred hand made its way to Alex's cheek and cupped it gently as Jane eliminated the small space that remained between them. Alex moaned quietly at the contact. The two shared a soft but long kiss. Jane began to pull away first, but Alex stopped her. She tangled her hand in Jane's messy curls and brought the detective back to meet her lips a second time. The second kiss was urgent as Alex expressed her need to feel Jane against her. She used her tongue to part Jane's lips, intensifying the passion between them. Jane became more responsive as the kiss continued. She was starting to feel like her old self again.
Without breaking contact, Jane wrapped her strong arms around Alex's waist and began to pick her up. She readjusted them so that she was now sitting on the edge of the bed with Alex straddling her with her legs wrapped around Jane's waist. Jane's fingers found their way to the hem of Alex's shirt and began to lift it up over her head. Her fingernails grazed Alex's ribcage as she removed the shirt. This had been a trick she picked up since Alex left, and she was proud to see that it still worked 100% of the time when she heard Alex's breath hitch as goosebumps developed on her pale skin.
After removing her own shirt, Jane began placing hot kisses along Alex's neck and collarbone while her left hand moved up to massage Alex's breasts. She gently nipped at the pale skin of Alex's chest eliciting a satisfied moan. Three years ago, they would have progressed at a much slower pace and with a much gentler touch. Now, there was an overwhelming sense of need between the two of them that seemed to negate their desire for perceived normalcy.
"I need you, Jay." Jane responded by standing Alex up only long enough to make quick work of removing her shorts and panties. They returned to their previous position as Jane place her right hand around Alex's back while her left reached down to feel just how wet she had made her girlfriend.
"Jay, please." Not wanting to make Alex wait any longer, Jane unclasped her bra and placed used her tongue to stimulate Alex's nipples. At the same time she slipped two fingers inside of Alex while she used her thumb to graze her clit. It didn't take long for Jane to feel Alex begin to clench around her fingers. Her nails dug into Jane's back as Jane began to pump her fingers faster. Suddenly, Alex threw her head back and gave a long, low moan as her legs trembled. She collapsed into Jane's arms where they remained for a moment before moving to lay down on the bed. Neither woman said anything for several minutes as they laid beside each other on the bed.
Their encounter left each of them with realizations to consider. Alex thought Jane might have been with other women after believing she had died, but now it was confirmed and she was curious just how many Jane had slept with within the time they had been apart. Jane on the other hand, realized she had just treated Alex exactly like the nameless women she had been casually sleeping with since her fiancee died. She replayed the events of the past ten minutes in her head over and over again. She recognized that she had remained in control of the situation, that she used her go-to, guaranteed-to-produce-an-orgasm moves, and that she hadn't allowed Alex to touch her. And then she realized that Alex hadn't even offered to.