Another chapter! I know. I'm proud of myself but I think I'm running out of juice. Reviews would help. :P. Too pushy? Maybe you're right. Review if you want to. Thanks again to those who have. Cookies. Or brownies if you don't like cookies.

I've been deep in thought over the last week. The incident with the wormhole has made me have to think. It brought up a lot of questions. Particularly about Meta's and my relationship. I'm not entirely sure what we are or where we are going, if anywhere.

He hasn't really changed toward me. Not really. We're still friends and we still talk and get into trouble. The only thing that's I can say is truly different is that he smiles more when I say something. Like my cleverness isn't being taken for granted. It makes me think that I can call Rose now.

I'm anxious to see her again. I miss her. And the TARDIS too. I know Meta feels the same. But I think that seeing Rose with his other self will be easier now somehow. But I don't want to be presumptuous either. I don't want to assume that I'm doing anything for him. It's all very confusing. He's still fictional to me. Even right here he is nothing more than a fantasy and I don't know how to deal with it this time. Not like this.

I finally decide to call Rose and tell her to come pick us up, but Meta disappears that day. He's gone for hours. Twelve hours. When he comes back, Donna is furious. She lays into him about making us so worried and everything. I say nothing. He looks at me while she's yelling and there's a look there I haven't seen before. A mixture of longing and regret. My heart nearly stops with that look.

When Donna is finally done, we still stand there looking at each other.

"Where were you?"

He looks at the floor and a smile tugs on his lips as he thinks up his answer. "Spoilers."

I want to press him for answers but I don't. I know that I can't.

"I'm going to call Rose and the Doctor tomorrow. I'm kind of tired of Earth. You gonna come with?" I want him to say yes.

He smiles. "Yeah. Yeah I am."

"Good. Right. I'm gonna get some sleep." I walk out and I don't hear his reply clearly enough to make it out but I think it doesn't really matter much.

DW DW DW DW DW DW DW DW DW DW

I call Rose the next morning right after breakfast. She's happy to hear from me, but won't talk long so she can come right of way. I tell her when and where we are and ten minutes later the TARDIS is in the back yard. Meta and I both rush out to it.

The doors seem to open of their own accord and we rush in. I go straight to Rose and we end up laughing and hugging. Meta is talking to the Doctor and stroking the console. I roll my eyes. Boys and their toys.

Rose takes me to the galley for some tea? "So, what you been up to?" So I tell her. I tell her about Donna and Lee, and Mickey and Martha, and I tell her about Christina. I don't go into details of what I thought about that adventure. I just tell her the plot, but this time, I lived it. I'm not telling her an episode, I'm telling her about one of my normal days. Normal days for me anyway.

"What about you? What have you been up to?" I waggle my eyebrows at her and she blushes.

"Shut up."

We laugh before she starts to tell me some of the things they've been doing. They apparently finally made it to a concert. Something in the future that I don't know about. Yet. Rose says she really likes their music and wants me to hear some. She also tells me about their Christmas. As she tells about the man they ran into who thought he was the Doctor and the cybermen in the Victorian era. When she finishes by telling about the dinner they had afterwards.

Then she stops and looks at me. "You knew all of it didn't you? I'm telling you an adventure you went through before."

I try to deny it. "No. No of course not. That was the first time I heard it..." It doesn't work. She just raises her eyebrows.

I sigh. "Okay. Yeah. Yeah I knew that one. But it was different this time and stuff."

She laughs and shakes her head. "S'alright. Don't ever change Ryder."

I've changed more in the last few years of life then she could know. By my count it's been maybe three years at this point. A year in Pete's world, plus all the times in jumps, and then almost a year here at Donna's, use time in the void to round it off and I say three years. That would make me old enough to drink in America now. Mum wanted to take me. I had no intention of letting her, but now...now I would give anything to go have a drink with my mum. Just once. Just to see her again.

But I'm fine. I'm here and I have lots of friends. They are my family. The Doctor's family. The biggest family in the universe. And all in all I'm happy. So there's nothing to be afraid of. Except maybe there is.

I put my thought on hold for a bit as the four of us rush off to another planet. Which we save. I don't return to my dark musings until I'm safe in my room on the TARDIS. The ship was good to me. She gave me my dream room. A big bed and a red and gold color scene. Dark cherry wood furniture. A bright and cheery end suit decked in blues and greens. It's perfect and calming.

I lay in bed and look up at Van Gogh's starry night covering my ceiling. I have a lot of questions. There is a lot of unknowns here now. I'm uncomfortable with the unknown. It didn't bother me before but I spent so long with foreknowledge that I've grown accustomed to it.

But there are so many questions. Carmen said that Meta's song with end. She said that he would knock three times. That means Wilf. That means the Master and Gallifrey and Rassilon. But Meta can't regenerate. The Doctor and Rose can. Why wouldn't it be one of them? And if it's not the Doctor, then what about Eleven? How will that work? And what about me? Where do I come in? I can't just let Meta or Wilf die.

Then the Master. My blood runs cold as I think about what he might try to do to Rose. It will be nothing good. I'll have to protect her from it in some way. Whatever "it" is.

My mind is spinning frantically until I finally fall asleep. And then my dreams take over.

DW DW DW DW DW DW DW DW DW DW

The next morning, i wake up to Rose jumping onto my bed. I groan and bat her away but she insists, so I sit up and make a show of having to wake up.

"Oh, stop whining, I have something to tell you."

I huff but she seems overly excited so I listen. "What?"

She holds up her hand and shows me a big fat diamond on the ring finger of her left hand.

"What?!"

She giggles and lets me take a closer look. "He asked me a couple of weeks ago. I've been going ballistic. I wanted to tell you right away but..."

"Why didn't you?" I'm looking in awe and the cut of the rock and the delicate swirls written in the gold band. I know it's Gallifreyan but I can't read it.

"Because of Meta, or James. We didn't want to say anything till the Doctor talked to him about it. I love him too. I don't want to hurt him. But I think he's over it."

She nudges me as bit over the last comment. "Shut up." I can't help but smile. If she noticed to then maybe it's not in imagination. She tries to get me to tell her something but I don't let her.

"Oh no. Not about me. You're the one with a bolder on your finger. Is a point star?"

She laughs. "Why am I not surprised that you know that?"

"Because I know everything. I'll take that as a yes then. What does the writing say?"

She blushes and smiles while tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "It says, "'For the love of all my lives.'"

I smile with her. "That's beautiful. When's the wedding then?"

"We were thinking in a couple of weeks. Tell a few people and then we're going to go to Women Wept. The Doctor is going to ask Meta to do the ceremony. Donna and Jack will stand as his family and I was hoping that you and Mickey could stand as mine?"

"I'd love to, but you'll have to ask him. Martha's going to want to come. And Lee too. He'll never let Donna out of his sight."

She laughs. "That's fine. Witnesses are good. I just don't want a big fancy affair."

"Like eloping?"

"Sort of yeah."

Then a thought occurs to me. "By standing for you does that mean that I'm giving my consent for him to marry you? I consent and gladly give and all that?"

"Yeah it does actually. I thought if have to explain all that. I already asked the Doctor about the ceremony and all that. It will be mostly Gallifreyan but we're adding some human stuff since that's what I was when we met."

I nod. We giggle and start making plans and talking about everything. I'm touched that she wants me to stand for her. Her mum isn't here to do it and she's asking me. It makes me feel very loved.

I ask her why they decided to get married. Since he doesn't do domestic. She tells me it's because he wants to tell her his name and that makes sense to me. She whispered that he also actually secretly likes the idea of domestic. I say that maybe that's true as long as it's with her.

Donna is thrilled by the idea. Martha and Mickey too and I'm glad. Even Meta seems happy about it. He's taking his role as the marriage official very seriously. Jack is besides himself. He makes so many blatant innuendos that I threaten to castrate him. He believes me and tones it down after that but not completely. That's fine. He wouldn't be Jack if he did.

And so goes my life. Planning a wedding for Donna, planning a wedding for Martha, planning a wedding for Rose. Jack tells me there just might be a fourth wedding. Four weddings. I'm just hoping I don't have to start planning a funeral too. But I'm not. And I'm happy. For the moment, life is good. And I've decided that I'll let the answers come on their own, and that I'm just going to live my life while I can. In all honesty, life in the TARDIS isn't a bad life. I quite like it. Who am I kidding? I love it.