Thank you to all of you for reviews and special thanks to JemmaPOND. "No matter what I will always remember. Jane Ryder. The girl who came closest to us. The girl who was the truth." That is exactly what I was going for so thank you. If my character is coming off correctly then I have succeeded as a writer. Jane is meant to represent all whovians.

Fear not. The story is not over yet. There are still about 20 chapters left. However, that doesn't mean there isn't going to be a lot of heartache in between now and the ending. Not even I know exactly what is going to happen but we shall see.

The pain in my head explode behind my eyes. The adrenaline is coursing through my system. My limbs are shaking and my heart is beating fast. The last I remember, I should be dead. But I'm awake again. It doesn't stop does it. Part of me wants to laugh. The universe. Has once again found a way to keep me alive.

As I open my eyes to see who's holding me I look up to see Meta. I smile at him and he tentatively smiles back. But there is an apology in his gaze. I look around to see where we are. I'm surprised to discover that it is no longer Earth.

"We only awakened you for five minutes, Drifter in the Dark."

I recognise the woman. She was in that mini episode where Eight became the War Doctor. Which means that I'm on that weird planet with the sisters of Karn. Five minutes? I must have died this time. I smirk. I liked Eight's lines for this. Maybe I'll take a cue from it.

"Five minutes? That's loads of time. I might get bored. Can I have a book? Maybe a sketch pad and some pencils?"

"This is no joking matter. You must survive."

I raise my eyebrow. That doesn't make much sense. "Then why bring me back for five minutes?"

They turn and look at Meta and I follow suit. He looks at me apologetically again. "A life for a life."

I'm confused. "What?"

The Karn lady explains. "When we made the Doctor a warrior we gave him the life that the woman with him would have had. We couldn't save her. We need a life to give to you. The human Doctor has agreed to give his."

"What?! No!" I frantically plead for him not to. But he pulls away from me. He takes a sip from the chalice that is handed to him. And then moved to make me take a sip.

"No!"

"It has to be this way Ryder."

"No. Why would you say that? You and me. Remember? We're all we've got. We still got to go to Donna's wedding."

He shakes his head. "You still have to go. I've known for a while that this was coming. I've come to peace with it. And so will you."

Tears are streaming freely down my face at this point. How can he leave me alone? I'm tired of being alone. Dare I admit that I'm tired of losing people that I...can I even say it? I pull away as he places the drink to my lips.

"Ryder...you have to. You have to live. We still have things to do. Please don't rewrite those moments now."

I don't know what he means by this. He answers my silent question. "Spoilers." I know that I'll see him again. I don't want to live, not really. But he won't let me say no to him. Not for this. He places the r to my lips and tilts it back. So I drink, knowing that my single sip will steal his life from him.

Strength comes into me nearly immediately. The pain flies away like a wisp of smoke. But Meta buckles in front of me. "No! I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Shush." Golden light seeps from his skin into mine. "Everything will be fine. You'll see. You're going to be brilliant. Fantastic. Amazing."

I choke on my sobs as he begins to fade. I kiss him, desperately trying to hold. Hoping and praying that maybe I can save him. But this isn't some fairytale. This is my harsh reality. I pull away and cry when I see is ashen face.

"I love you," he whispers. I can barely believe that he said it. But he is dying and I know that I won't really get another chance. Not for his sake.

"I love you too." The joy in his eyes at my response makes it all worth it. Every crack in my heart and every tear on my face.

But there's one thing I want him to know. One thing I need him to know. So I lean in and place my lips by his ear. And I whisper my name. My true name. The name my parents gave me. The name I nearly let myself forget. It's been so long since I've said it out loud that it tastes weird on my tongue.

I pull back and see that he's nearly gone. But he understands. He may be human, but the time lord customs are still part of him, and I practically just married him by Gallifrey's standards.

Meta pulls me close and says my name in my ear. I sob. How could I forget how beautiful it sounded? Or maybe that's just because he says it with love in his voice. "I give you my heart."

I smile through my tears. And then he slips through my fingers, and is gone. I rest there in the dust for a long time. Staring uncomprehending at the ground where I last held him. Meta is dead, and it's my fault. My Meta. My Doctor.

I feel far away when I hear Rose yelling. She's yelling at the sisters of Karn. I look up when I hear the Doctor's voice. So similar to Meta but it's not him. The Doctor is furious. From what I understand, they brought me to this planet to bury my body, since it is the closest to Gallifrey as any other place. They were expecting a welcoming party of sisters.

Rose and the Doctor were locked away so they wouldn't interfere. As soon as Meta had given his life, they released them. But it's too late. The damage is done. I am still alive. But at a great cost.

I'm not sure what the Doctor did to the Karn. I know it wasn't good. But we leave in the TARDIS with a great heaviness in the air. Rose holds me why I cry. The Doctor is crying too. I can see it. But he won't show it. Not really.

"Go to him," I tell Rose. She almost protests but she doesn't. He just lost a brother. They were amazingly close and he needs his wife more than I do. So she goes to him.

As soon as we land I head out the doors. It's Donna's house. I let the Doctor do the talking as I hold Wilf's hand. Donna cries on Lee's shoulder. We are a family mourning a loss and I can't take it. So I run up the hill behind the house where Wilf has taken all of us to see the stars.

I don't stand there alone for long. I feel the presence next to me and I turn to see the woman from before. The same long braid down her back. She's a bit taller than me. Her hair is darker, almost black. I can see her profile but she doesn't turn to look at me. She just looks at the sky, pale as a ghost in this lighting.

I sigh. "You come to tell me to remember again? Because I have no idea who you are or what you mean by that."

A slight smile tugs on her lips. "I forgot how snarky you could be."

"I'm insulted. People should never forget that."

"Oh they won't. You make far too much of an impression. But I'm not here to tell you to remember. I tried that. It didn't work the first time. I'm here to remind you."

"Of what?"

"Life is too long to harbor regret."

"I've never heard that before. How am supposed to remember it?"

"Well, you've heard it now. So you better not forget."

"You're rather bossy aren't you?"

"Side effects of being a commanding officer."

"Who are you?"

I hear her answering grin. "Spoilers. Major spoilers. But you like twist endings so it's going to be interesting."

She starts walking away. "Is that it? You just going to leave now?"

She stops and she turns her face slightly toward me but doesn't turn otherwise. "I've been leaving for a long time. Just...it was always coming. It comes for all of us. One day, you'll understand what I mean when I say that. Meta died for you. Not because of you. And that needed to happen, it just...I know it hurts you. Right now. But it gets better, and I don't want you to hate yourself for it."

Who is this girl? As she walks away and disappears into thin air part of me thinks I know. But I don't want to acknowledge it. Not yet. The implications of that could be...I just can't. The idea scares me so I push it to the back of my mind without letting it form into words at all.

I head back into the house. I need to sleep. I just need sleep.