Hi guys :) I have good news. Or bad, depends which way you look at it. I've started a new story, Doctor Who, called Memory of you. All my fellow Whovians, please, look it up :) I will not forget about this one, you can be sure of that. And once this one is finished, I'll be sure to write another one GoT fan fiction, since my head is full of ideas. And one more thing. I wanted to avoid a filler chapter, so I decided to move the story for about two months, so this chapter picks up about two months after the last one ended. I may not be George R. R. Martin, but I can't wait to write about death and bloodshed. No, that's a lie, I just didn't want to bore you to death. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. And thank you for sticking with me, and for the lovely reviews. It may sound cheesy, but I do need your support :)
"Please, be careful." I said as I pulled away from the hug I shared with Jon." I know you're capable, but it still is dangerous. And bring the girl home." I added in a whisper, so that no one else could hear us. I still was the only one who knew about his red haired girl. He talked about her quite a lot once he confessed to me that he broke his vows. And the more he told me, the more worried I was. I'm afraid that she might try to kill him or something when she sees him. I can only hope that she isn't as capable as he is.
"I don't know about her, but I will return." He said. I smiled once again, then I turned around and walked away. I never was good at saying goodbyes. It breaks my heart to see people leaving. Especially Jon. I love him like a brother, and I know very well what brotherly love is.
At least I have Gendry. That boy will probably never leave my side. Not for a Wall, not for a girl. Especially since his girl spends most of her time beside me. And yet, they haven't progressed at all. It's getting more and more difficult for me to keep my mouth shut. Or to resist pushing him right onto her.
While everything else may be complicated, I'm happy that my marriage is no longer one of those things. I don't remember ever being happier than I am now. My man, my wonderful man cares for me as much as I care for him. We only have eyes for each other. And the love I feel for him is indescribable.
It was a long and tiring journey, but now that we've reached the destination, I know it was worth it.
As much as I wanted it to be different, the tension was growing. Time has passed, and Eddard Stark's honor still wasn't cleared. And the Iron Throne was occupied by someone who doesn't deserve to sit there. I could see that Robb was boiling inside. He is all for justice, and that is why this situation bothers him so much. But he is also wise. He knows that we should take our time. Whatever we chose to do in the right time, it will have permanent affects to our future, and the future of Westeros.
I'm thankful that he has a smart father, who convinces him very often that we should wait a bit more.
I was worried sick. I truly was. The only good thing was that I knew that Tyrion will make out of it alive. Neither side wants him injured. That might change if our father finds out that Tyrion sided with us a while ago. But it scares me. I know very well that soon enough, a war will start. My former family fighting with my current family. I'm a Stark, and they are my side. That will never change. But I don't want to be the one who is most affected by the death counts. As difficult as it is for me to admit it, there is only one loss I could never manage to survive myself. If something happens to Robb… I couldn't handle it. Anyone else, I could handle the pain. But not him.
Luckily, I still don't have to worry about that. Right now, the only preoccupation I had was about being in charge of the North alongside my husband and his parents. And I'm pretty good at it. When the day comes, North will be safe in mine and Robb's hands.
Today, Catelyn and I were clearing one of the chambers. I have no idea what she plans to do with them, but she asked for my help, and I am happy to give it to her. Elisa is also helping us. I'm not the only one who fits into the North. And thankfully, she's a smart girl, and all of Theon's advances were in vain.
I was folding some of the blankets when I noticed that Catelyn was looking at me?
"Is something wrong Catelyn?" I asked. I call her by her name, and I call Lord Stark by his name too. Eddard and Catelyn. I suspect it will be a while before I call them Ned and Cat, if ever. It's a good thing I can be sure that they won't hold it against me, no matter how I call them.
"Elisa, have you tightened Elena's dresses?" Catelyn asked, and both Elisa and I looked surprised.
"No, my Lady." Elisa said, and she started looking at me too.
"Is something wrong?" I asked, yet again.
"No, but I must say Elena, that dress looks tight." Catelyn said, and I looked down. Gods, she's right. If I lean forward, my breast just might fall out. Scared of that happening, I pulled the dress up.
"Thank you for telling me. It could have been very embarrassing." I said, planning to change as soon as possible. If the two of them already noticed, I don't want anyone else to notice my too tight dress.
"Elena, I apologize for my indiscression, but I must ask. When was the last time you bled?" Catelyn asked. Now, that was not a question I expected. But still, I tried to remember. And I couldn't.
"I'm… I'm not sure." I admitted in a low voice. I believe it was… two months ago? I truly don't remember. I should have known better. I never paid attention to that, and now, I can't even remember.
"My lady, I didn't wash your bloody sheets for at least three months now." Elisa said. I looked at Catelyn.
"No." I whispered, and immediately, my hands went to my stomach. I didn't bleed. My dress was filled up quite nicely, and not just by my breast. I didn't even think about it, I just thought I gained some wait. I wasn't sick, not once. Nausea didn't bother me. I'm not with child. No, I can't be. I would have known.
"Elisa, call Maester Luwin." Catelyn said, and Elisa left the chambers. I looked at Catelyn once again." Have you been ill?" she asked, and I shook my head." And what about the food?" she asked.
"Well, I wasn't too fond of meat lately." I said. The truth is that the smell of venison repulsed me. Oh Gods. I am with child. I fell into the chair to prevent myself from fainting and hitting the floor.
"I've been with child five times Elena." Catelyn said with a small smile." I know what it feels like. And I believe that you're carrying my grandchild in you." She said. Finally, I smiled.
I was frightened beyond belief. But the thought of a child made me smile. Robb and I love each other. Our marriage is beyond perfect. And it has been a while since we married. I didn't even think about it, but it was expected from me carry an heir. I honestly don't know how I managed to forget about it. Will I be a mother now? Will Robb and I become parents? As scared as I was, I imagined a little boy that looked exactly like Robb, and I had a big smile on my face.
"Is it possible that I didn't realize it?" I whispered.
"Of course it is." Catelyn said, and she laughed to herself." When I was carrying Robb, I had no idea what I was doing. Only with Sansa and the rest of the children I knew what was happening." She said.
"So, if I am with child, I shouldn't feel bad for not realizing it?" I asked, and she laughed once again.
"No, you shouldn't." she said, and she took my hand." I hope we're right. A baby would bring joy to this family." She said, and I returned her smile. I hope that Robb won't be disappointed. We never talked about it. Yes, of course we planned on having children, but I'm not sure if he will think that this is too soon. Happiness and fear were taking over me, and I couldn't tell which feeling was stronger.
Measter Luwin proved that Catelyn's suspicions were right. As soon as I accepted the congratulations and well wishes, I started to worry. Catelyn could see that, and she told me to get some rest.
I was lying on the bed, thinking about that small person growing inside of me. A part of Robb. Our child. A baby, made out of pure love.
Why am I so scared? Yes, I fear that I will not be a good mother, that is true. I never had a good example. But this is more than just that. I fear of telling Robb. I don't know why. I trust him more than anyone in this world. Why can't I just tell him?
My time was running out, and I decided that I must tell him by tonight. I feel bad enough that his mother and my maiden know about it, and he doesn't. The longer I wait, the worse I feel. Besides, Maestar told me that I'm three months along by his suspicions. It will be noticeable soon.
I was going through the motions the rest of the day. I was quiet and calm. And I ate only because I have to. I have a feeling that the sickness might start soon enough since it has avoided me this long.
My plan was to tell him as soon as we were alone in our chambers. But he prevented me from doing so, since he kissed me as soon as I closed the door behind us. It's too late now.
He didn't have the worry that I had. All I could think of is that we may be hurting the baby. But I know that making love is allowed for a woman with child. And it's Robb. I lost my focus even before he took my dress off. I lost my focus, my mind and my breath all together.
He kissed me once again, and he got up. He covered himself up in a robe, and he walked over to the desk. And even if he doesn't want to tell me, I know what he's doing. He's trying to find a way to attack. I know it, I'm not an idiot. I lived with the King for years, I know what it looks like when someone is trying to make a battle plan. And I understand why he doesn't want to talk about it with me. He wants to protect me as much as he can. But that can only last for so long. Soon enough, I will have to help him. And I will do it. I made my choice. I promised to be his to the end of my days. And I plan on doing that.
I looked at him. His face showed his worry. This is not going to be easy, and both of us know it. We will be lucky if we make it out alive, regardless of the result. We're playing with fire.
And the fact that I'm prepared to do it and live it, only shows how much I trust in him. He is a good man. He will be a good leader. And I'd like to believe he will be a good father.
"What?" he asked with a small smile once he noticed that I was looking at him. I shook my head." Please don't do that. I can't do my work when you look at me like that." He said.
"Like what?" I asked in surprise. I'm looking at him in a normal way.
"Oh, you know." He said, and I rolled my eyes. I turned around and covered myself with the sheets.
"Better?" I asked, knowing that he can only see my naked back now. I heard him laughing.
"No, to be honest. I still know very well what's under the sheets." He said, and I smiled. And now it's my fault he can't focus." Those legs, that waist, those breasts, that beautiful neck…" he said. Oh Gods, I hate it when he does that. Even his voice can make the hair on the back of my neck rise." Soft lips and beautiful brown eyes. You may turn around Elena, but that is not helping." He said. I turned to him again.
"Would you like me to go to my chambers?" I asked. I still have them, but I haven't used them for a very long time. I wasn't teasing him. If he has important work to do and I'm bothering him, I'd be happy to leave. I would understand the priorities. But he shook his head." Then don't complain." I said with a smile. He smiled back at me, and he returned to the papers in front of him. He probably realized that I will be here as soon as he's done. Well, I'm going be next to him for a very long time.
I know that I should tell him, but I haven't found the strength yet. And it is not just about my cowardice. I have no idea which words should I use. I wouldn't want to surprise him, but I have a feeling that he will be surprised, no matter the words I use.
I got of the bed, not even bothering to take the sheets with me. He's seen it all before, and by what I just heard, he has it all memorized. I no longer feel ashamed around him.
I walked over to the table to pour myself some water that Elisa brought here, probably while we were in the hall. And there was no wine as I could see. I smiled slightly, knowing why she didn't bring it here.
"Could you pour me some wine please?" Robb asked.
"This is water." I said, and he looked up in surprise." But if you'd like to, I'll bring you some. I'll just put on a robe and go down to the hall." I said, ready to do so if he'd want me to.
"No, don't do that. Water is fine. But, since when do you drink water?" he asked with a smile on his face." You always have a cup of wine." He said. That is true. He teased me that I'm a drunk, but we know very well that I only have one or two cups. And now I'm not drinking it because I'm with child. An now is probably as good as time as any to tell him that. I poured another cup with water, and I walked over to the desk. He took the cup from me, and I walked back to get mine. My lips were dry, and it wasn't because I was thirsty. It is because I'm afraid to tell him. I looked at him. He could see that I wanted to tell him something, and he waited, his full attention on me.
"I just wanted some water." I cowardly lied. He believed. And he was still smiling when he looked back to the papers in front of him. "And Maestar Luwin did mention that I need to avoid drinking wine now that I'm with child." I said. I swear to the Gods, I was never as frightened as I was right now.
I looked at him, waiting for a reaction. It seems to me that he did not realize what I said the moment I said it, but only moments later, the papers he held in his hand fell on the desk. He looked up, and looked at me. We were staring at each other in silence. He did not look happy. He just looked surprised.
"What?" he asked, and I couldn't say a thing. I just looked at him, staring in his blue eyes, hoping that he will not be angry at me. I wish our child has the same eyes as his father. Mine are too plain, and there is nothing plain about that piercing blue color of Robb's eyes." Are you certain?" he asked, and I nodded, still unable to speak.
He got up and started walking towards me. I was shaking. I was shaking and I'm not sure why. Even if he is not happy with the news, he won't hurt me or something like that. I know that my feeling is irrational, but I still feel it. I can't help myself.
"We're going to be parents?" he asked when he got to me. I nodded.
"You're not angry, are you?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper. I could barely speak.
"No, not at all." he said, and he smiled at me. A big, happy smile." I'm… happy." He said, and I started laughing. I hugged him with all the strength I had. And I was laughing like mad.
"We're going to have a son or a daughter." I said, and he put his hands over my belly. The difference was barely there, and that is why we had no idea that I was with child. Well, that and my irresponsibility.
"Maybe both?" he asked, and I smiled.
"Well, it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" I asked, and he smiled." You really are happy?" I asked.
"Of course I am." He said with a smile." I'm having a child with my beautiful wife, a woman I love with all my heart. I'm beyond happy." He said, and I giggled.
"Who would have thought that this is where we will end up?" I asked.
"Well, I did, once we were married." He said, and I started laughing.
"Oh please, you can't fool me. I clearly remember you saying that you were… what was it? Oh, yes, Frightened that the King would want us to marry." I said, remembering the words he told me back when we were nothing more than acquaintances, building a friendship.
"You really do remember everything, don't you?" he asked.
"Yes, when it hurts my feelings, I do. But I don't hold that against you. That would be immature. I love you and now, we will have a little family of our own." I said, and he kissed me. He was still kissing me as he was pushing me towards the bed. I was laughing, but I did not mind it. Gods, I really do pull him away from his work. As long as he doesn't mind it, I won't mind it either.
BABY! :D I need some help with the naming guys. Give me your suggestions if you want to. I have some ideas, but I would love to have more! So, fire away :D