Please let me know what you think...

Chapter Nine

Sansa was up before her alarm even went off the next morning. She hadn't been able to sleep well as thoughts of Jaime (and Jon) had rolled around in her mind all night. She'd replayed her evening with Jaime a million times. The kisses they had shared, the way he'd looked at her…

She sighed dreamily.

Yep, she was that girl.

And then Jon would invade her mind telling her how Dr. Lannister was her teacher and how he was older than her and how she was just being naïve.

Shut up, Jon.

Her mind though had now turned to more serious matters. Like birth control. Jaime was an older guy; he would want sex eventually. It was possible she was jumping way ahead, but maybe not. She was a virgin, yes, but Sansa knew that most girls her age were not. Most of the girls she'd gone to high school with had had sex even before senior year. A couple had been pregnant at graduation.

She was in college now and if things with boys were beginning to happen for her as they had not previously, then she needed to be prepared. If her and Jaime did continue on as they were then they could potentially had sex.

Jaime could be her first.

Sansa didn't know how she felt about that.

But, she knew she had to be prepared and perhaps by the time the big moment arrived (my God, how cheesy was she?) maybe she would know how she felt about it. Now, it just filled her with a bunch of nerves. She had virtually no experience when it came to sex – okay, really, none at all. She'd been felt up at prom and that had been the extent of it.

Oh God. What if Jaime expected her to know stuff?

She heard Margaery getting out of bed then and pondered asking her friend for a few tips. No. Then Margaery would want to know who she was even contemplating fooling around with and Sansa, as much as she loved her friend, wasn't sure if she could trust her with this secret.

And hell no was she going to Jon with this.

So that left…Cosmo. And porn. Grrreat.

A knock on the door had Margaery turning to look at Sansa, presumably to see if she was awake. Margaery furrowed her brow. "You expecting someone?"

Sansa shook her head. She sat up as Margaery opened the door and in came Jon.

He was a morning person but she never saw him before ten. It was nine.

Margaery turned the light on and they both gasped when they got a good look at him.

"Are you wearing skinny jeans?" Sansa asked. Jon never wore skinny jeans. He was also wearing a white t-shirt. It was striped.

"Did you raid a tennis pro shop?" Margaery asked.

"You look like a pool boy," Sansa said.

"You look like a quaaludes dealer," Margaery said.

Both Jon and Sansa looked at her and Margaery waved a dismissive hand. "A story for another time." She gestured to Jon. "What is even happening right now?"

Jon was turning red. "Ygritte and I went shopping last night."

"And you ended up with that?" Margaery asked and wrinkled her nose.

Jon reddened further. "She picked this out."

"If I remember correctly she doesn't dress at all like that," Sansa said. She gasped, horrified. "Oh my God. Is she a hipster? If you start vaping on an e-cig we're not friends anymore."

Margaery gestured to his outfit by moving a hand up and down in front of him. "Is this ironic or…?"

"You guys suck," Jon snapped and marched out the door.

Now Sansa felt bad. She scrambled out of the bed and ran after him. She caught him in the hall and grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Jon, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. We're sorry."

"I feel ridiculous," he mumbled.

"You're not – you don't – it's just different that's all. I mean, I meant what I said about the e-cig but you wouldn't do that…right?"

He just looked at her and she dissolved into giggles. "I'm sorry, I am. I'm just not used to seeing you in…color."

"I wear other things besides black all the time, Sansa."

"Yeah, I know you do," she said and started to laugh. "Navy blue, right?" She snorted and slapped a hand over her mouth. Jon's mouth twitched. He was trying not to laugh.

"You really do suck," he said, but he wasn't mad. Not anymore anyway. "I don't make fun of you when you wear…"

"Yeah?"

He sighed and looked up towards the ceiling. "Never mind. You always look perfect. Goddammit."

Sansa laughed and then took his face between her hands. "You're adorable, you are. I mean, not like this—" he batted her hands away and she giggled and took his hands in hers. "I mean it. You are. Even like this. Especially like this. You're trying to impress your girlfriend and make her happy. It's cute."

And it was cute, she did mean that. Even if she liked the old Jon just fine, and even if she thought Ygritte's taste was questionable and even if she thought Jon's taste in women might be, too…

But, she had Jaime. Jaime who always looked good and knew how to dress. Though it was cute that Jon didn't. A lot of things about Jon were cute. Like the way he was looking at her now as if he needed her assurance that he didn't look like a tit.

"I feel silly," he grunted.

"You're just not used to it," Sansa said.

"I don't like this shirt. It's white, Sansa. I feel like I'm wearing a bull's eye."

"You're not a slob."

"But all this white is just asking for it."

"Then don't wear white. Try a different color and see how you feel. Like…baby blue. Or green. I personally think a light blue would look great on you."

Jon shuffled his feet. "You do?"

"I do. Maybe we'll go shopping together some time."

Jon gripped her hands tightly. "I miss you," he whispered, and looked at her in that intense Jon way he had. Her heart stuttered under such scrutiny. He always looked as though he meant to uncover her deepest thoughts and desires with that look.

She glanced away and pulled her hands from his. "I'm right here."

He moved closer to her and grabbed her hand, squeezed it hard. "But you're not, Sansa. There's this gulf between us—"

"You're being silly. There is not."

"Sansa—"

"Things just changed is all," she said with a shrug. "You're dating someone now and I …kind of am."

His expression darkened, and his tone had a definite edge to it when he asked, "How was your date last night?"

She smiled involuntarily, like a high school girl with a crush (and really she wasn't all that far away from that). Jon pursed his lips together. "Was he respectful of you? Did he treat you right?"

"Yeah, he did, Robb," Sansa said with a roll of her eyes and tried to pull her hand from his. Jon wouldn't let go.

"Listen to me," Jon said sternly. "Sansa, look at me." She looked at him expectantly. "You…you mean everything to me. And it's not because of Robb or your parents. It's you. It kills me that I wasn't there when Ramsay hurt you, and it kills me that I wasn't the one that was there with you after. I like that you come to me. I like that you rely on me. I don't want you to ever think that you can't."

Tears dropped from Sansa's eyes and Jon moved in closer to her and gently touched her face, wiping away her tears. "Sansa, why are you crying?"

"Because what you said was incredibly sweet!" she wiped at her tears. "Now you suck."

He laughed softly and drew her into his arms. "You'll always be my Sansa," he murmured. "Please remember that."

"And you'll always be my Jon," she murmured back.

"Do you think we could get breakfast together?" he asked as he pulled back and wiped the remaining tears from her face away.

She nodded. "Yes. I just need to shower and dress."

"I'll wait downstairs."

It rattled Sansa that she felt like leaning in and kissing him in that moment. And, the way he just stood there just looking at her, she wondered if he'd had the same thought. She pushed away from him and ran down the hall to her room. "I'll be quick!" she hollered to him without turning around.

Once in her room, she stood there, staring at Margaery who was putting her toiletries together for a shower. Her friend looked at her. "What is it?"

Sansa shook her head. "Nothing."

"San, you look kind of freaked out. What's going on?"

"I don't know," Sansa said. "I don't know what's going on."

"It's Jon?" Margaery asked.

Sansa nodded.

"Is he really pissed or something?"

"No, we're fine. I just – you know what? It's nothing. I need to take a shower and meet him downstairs." She rushed over to her bureau, grabbed her toiletries, and rushed off, ignoring Margaery calling after her.