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44. Childhood

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The Joker, still looking down at the table through soft eyes, suddenly looked up at me, grinning. His eyes had changed quickly—they looked hardened, unfamiliar to me.

"Well what relation do you want me to describe to you?" he asked finally.

"Well…it says right here in your chart that you were at the museum with Pixie Dust and that she's been noted as your accomplice as of…recently," I explained, making sure I was reading the chart as much as I could so I could avoid his eyes. He remained silent until I forced myself to look at him again.

We locked our eyes into a gaze finally.

"Well I don't see what kind of meaningful relation one would be able to have with a botanist—especially one who creates bio-botanical drugs for wreaking havoc on a city," he insisted, almost smugly. I felt like I was talking to Dr. Crane.

I mustered up a small fake laugh and responded sarcastically, "it sounds to me like this Pixie Dust needs to take up alliances with Dr. Crane--"

"I couldn't agree more," The Joker grinned

"--rather than you," I finished. His face froze, as though he could read the jealousy in my eyes. I'm sure he could. At that point, I wasn't trying all too hard to hide it. I raised my eyebrows at him and released a sigh. I glanced at my watch and then back at him.

"I believe our hour is up," I spoke finally. His face melted at my comment and he averted his gaze back down to the table. He cleared his throat and leaned forward on the table.

"I believe we have until quarter of. Five…more…minutes," he spoke, his voice low. He raised his eyebrows at me in return. I felt my olive colored skin flush red at his comment. I hadn't anticipated he would be taking note of the time.

"What, are you trying to skimp out on our special...time together, hm?" he asked finally, driving the embarrassment further into me.

"No, not at all—I just didn't have anything else that I could cover today with the amount of time we have left—unless you have something you'd like to bring up, of course I'll listen," I retorted, leaning forward to meet him in the middle of the table.

We stared at each other for a moment, neither of us talking or moving—simply staring.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked finally, leaning even closer to me that I could nearly feel his breath on my face as he spoke. It sent chills down my spine. I wanted to reach out and kiss him—a horrible idea, I know—but so tempting with his face so close to mine.

"You have three minutes," I replied. His lips parted into a wide smile and then her erupted into maniacal laughter. I raised an eyebrow, curious as to what was so hysterical, so I leaned back away from him. He then grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward again. My heart fluttered at his touch. I hadn't even begun to anticipate him touching me.

"You…you really can't do that," I stuttered, taken back by his touch on my wrists. He reluctantly let go of me and sank back into his seat again.

"My apologies! Sometimes I forget where I am," he giggled.

"So what did you want to ask me?" I asked, glancing at my watch again, wishing our time together would never end. There was no way I would be able to wait until Thursday to see him again.

"So…what...happens tomorrow when you're not here and Dr. Princeton…is?" he asked me, putting on a serious face and widening his eyes. He almost pouted his lips, as though he were actually upset I wasn't his full-time therapist. My heart pounded inside my chest.

"Well, you meet with Dr. Princeton instead of me. You'll be seeing me on Thursday—"

"What if you took Monday Wednesday Friday and he took Tuesday Thursday," he coaxed, leaning forward towards me again. I chuckled at his gesture, but I knew better than he did that that was not an option—not when I had to fight to get him back onto my case load. There would be no way I would have the majority of therapy sessions.

"I don't think Dr. Princeton would appreciate meeting with you less than me—it was enough of a fight to get you back onto my caseload!" Oops. I slipped up a bit with that one. I didn't want to let him know I wanted him as my patient, but my stupid brain slipped and let him know anyway.

He simply smirked at the comment, but didn't make anything of it. I then saw his eyes avert to my watch.

"Now you can take me back," he said as he licked his lips, gazing at me intently. I nodded my head and stood to my feet. He rose to his feet and met me at the door. I swiped my badge and opened the door.

We walked down the hall, but he lagged a bit behind me. I turned around to make sure he was still there.

"I take it you're not eager to get back to your room," I said finally.

"You mean my padded prison cell? Not particularly eager," he retorted with a slight scowl and then licked his lips.

"I wouldn't be eager either," I chuckled.

"I assume you have another session after mine…with…Dr. Crane?" he asked.

"Yes—he used to be my first session of the day, but then I got you on my caseload," I explained truthfully, slowing my step so that I could walk by his side.

"Ah—well I could probably tell you more about Dr. Crane than Dr. Crane himself—same with Edward Nygma," he boasted.

"I'd like to say that I believe you, but I don't want to discredit myself as a therapist," I chuckled. To my dismay, we didn't walk slow enough. His room appeared in front of us in no time at all and a pit formed in my stomach. I forced myself to swipe my badge to his door so we could not linger outside his door for too long. The door unlocked and I pushed it open for him.

"Until Thursday," he nodded his head to me as he stepped into his room, "Oh, and do try to be here over Christmas—I just have a feeling that Dr. Princeton is going to take it off so you may not have a choice in the matter," He giggled at the thought as I shut the door on him.

As I walked back to the therapy room for my second session of the day, I couldn't help but feel irritated that he couldn't remember me or anything we had experienced. Part of me wanted to break down and cry, but the other part of me just wanted to punch Pixie—no, not punch…destroy Pixie.

Despite the fact I had to meet with my five other regular patients, I spent most of their sessions thinking of ways I could ruin Pixie Dust—ways I could utterly destroy her existence. I was sure if I wanted, I could have gotten a hallucinogenic drug from Crane, or some gun hook-ups from Alberto, but I bit my lip and listened conscientiously to each of my patients like the good NP therapist I was.

The next day, I sat in my other sessions talking with my patients and all I could see was the Joker's face—his dark eyes gazing back at me was seared into my memory. I just wanted it to be Thursday so that I could see him again—so that we could continue our session, so that I could see his face and hear his voice again. I had spent so much time away from him that actually being with him and hearing his voice again nearly gave me an aneurism. I could only hope that I would be able to find Pixie Dust and kill her—or get some kind of botanical drug from her to reverse the Joker's memory lapse she had caused—and then kill her.

I sat in my desk chair fantasizing various ways I could kill her—and I even thought of possibly breeching a major code of ethics. I was debating seriously on whether or not I should ask Dr. Crane of any drug that may reverse the drug Pixie used to erase the Joker's memory. I bit my lip as I weighed the pros and cons of approaching said situation.

"Giada?" there was a knock at my door. My heart almost stopped. I had been too lost in my thoughts.

"Come in," I called. Dr. Gerard walked into my office and closed the door behind him.

"How did your session go with the Joker yesterday?" he asked finally.

"It went well. I think I need to get into a groove—I was kind of nervous at first, but I think it went just fine," I responded.

"Good. I have a request for you from Dr. Princeton," Dr. Gerard began, knowing it was a dick move of Dr. Princeton to send Gerard as his spokesman.

"What's wrong with Dr. Princeton talking to me himself?" I asked finally.

"There isn't anything wrong—he's just being, well, Dr. Princeton. I know, I find it horribly unprofessional myself, but he's in a session right now and he's leaving early today and wont be back until Monday, which actually brings me to what he'd wanted me to request from you,"

"Mmhm," I folded my arms across my chest.

"Since Dr. Princeton is leaving early today, and won't be back until Monday, he was hoping you would fill in for him on Friday," My heart skipped a beat. I was suddenly excited I was about to get two more sessions this week with the Joker.

"Is that all?" I asked, eager for the day to end so it could be Thursday.

"No—this is something I feel he should be asking of you himself, and I apologize for this, but, Dr. Princeton has requested Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off next week—I wasn't sure about whether you wanted to take either or both of those days off so I told him I would ask you, but couldn't guarantee him anything,"

"It's fine. I don't have any real plans—all my family is back East in Boston, so I might as well work and make the money, right?" I responded with a small chuckle.

"Well, I'll inform him when he gets out of his session. I think he's going to leave you a few instructions for his session on Friday. Thank you for being the better and more professional therapist," Dr. Gerard smiled at me. I knew he felt horrible for the way Dr. Princeton was treating me, but I was secretly glad for his misconduct. I got to spend more time with the Joker, which was what I really wanted.

Dr. Gerard left my office and I went back to daydreaming about the Joker, killing Pixie, and my extra session with the Joker on Friday. All of my daydreams were, ironically, made possible because of Dr. Princeton—it was his loss, not mine.

I left the asylum that evening with high hopes and excitement for tomorrow. I spent the entire night sitting up in bed going over the questions I hoped to cover with the Joker tomorrow, though I knew quite well that therapy sessions never go as planned. I figured I would need to be much more prepared for therapy tomorrow that I had been on Tuesday. I wouldn't let him catch me off guard and I wouldn't let him catch me blushing or embarrassed. I wasn't going to let anything bad happen, especially since Dr. Princeton had given me this opportunity without even knowing it.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I sat across in the session room across from an empty seat. I anxiously awaited the Joker. Before I could get too lost in my thoughts, the door buzzed and the Joker shuffled into the room. Rick left immediately, knowing I would return the Joker to his room after our session. Grinning widely, he took his seat across from me.

"Happy Thursday," he greeted suddenly as he pulled his chair close to the table and leaned forward.

"Happy Thursday," I grinned back as I pulled out my notes along with his chart.

"Where would you like to begin?" he asked, almost seductively. I could feel my face getting red, but I kept my focus on the chart. I looked up at him once I was sure I could face his gaze.

"Tell me about your childhood," I stated with pen in hand. I was ready to take notes.