Rewind 7.
Zero smelt nice, his body was warm, and somehow, their bodies fit surprisingly well together. It was a comfortable embrace, an embrace that Kaname found he enjoyed greatly. He knew he shouldn't indulge in something as fruitless as this but he couldn't help himself –
Then he felt a hand against his chest.
Lilac eyes were trained to the ground as the Kiryuu stepped away from the Kuran.
"Save it, Kuran."
The sound of running water was deafening.
"Save it for your precious princess."
Zero was adapting to life in his new room, he felt so much more at peace than when he was rooming with Kuran-jerk. Apparently, because of his attitude and his 'former self', it wasn't yet wise to assign him a roommate; a fact that Zero was thankful for. He had a vague feeling of how moving out felt to lovers who had just broken up, although the relationship between Kuran-jerk and himself was nothing near that classification.
He had allowed Kuran-jerk to keep Birdie, although he'd have liked to keep it himself, he really didn't want to speak to the Kuran more than necessary. For the past three days, Zero made sure that he was never alone with the Dorm Leader – he had practically made Aidou and Kain his personal bodyguards when it came to Kuran-jerk. Both vampires seemed a bit reluctant at first, not wanting to go against their leader's wishes if they could help it, but Kaname seemed perfectly content to have Aidou and Kain hanging around the ex-prefect, much to the surprise of the rest of the night class, in fact, he quite encouraged it. Zero had a feeling it had something to do with helping him 'blend in' with the rest of the class, to build some form of acceptance. It was, after all, what he promised Yuuki. Aidou protested at first, complaining about destroyed schedules and all that, but eventually grew used to his company. Zero found himself particularly fond of the blond. Kain hadn't really said much, but Zero found the taller boy's companionship a more comfortable and less noisy version of Aidou's, which was pleasant nonetheless.
Kuran-jerk had avoided him for the whole of the three days. He still went to class and all that, but the both of them didn't speak, they didn't even look in each other's directions. This resulted in tense atmospheres for almost every class that the both of them shared; classes had never been quieter because of it.
In fact, the atmosphere was tense enough to have Souen Ruka (who, he had established, hated his guts) come up to him and demand he did something about the way things were.
This was of course, in class, with Kuran Kaname in full view, and although Zero wasn't looking in Kaname's direction, he could feel that familiar piercing gaze on him.
"I'm not the one avoiding anyone, Souen-san." The fair-haired boy kept his tone polite, a small smile on his lips. He picked up his belongings and left the room without another word, leaving behind a stunned Ruka. Kaname didn't move a muscle, merely continuing his conversation with Takuma. The blond gladly kept talking, but he could recognize the signs he had been trained to detect – Kaname was annoyed, but he couldn't place why.
Aidou had flashed him a look before he left behind the ex-prefect, and Takuma made a mental note to drop by Aidou's room to find out exactly what was going on.
"…Come again?"
Two blonds were huddled in a corner of the common room, talking in (somewhat) hushed voices. The taller had a look of complete disbelief on his fine features.
"You heard me right, Ichijou-san!"
Aidou could hardly believe it himself, but the hard facts spoke for themselves; despite how hard he tried to disbelieve what he had theorized.
The sudden sparkle in Ichijou Takuma's eyes sent a shiver down Aidou's spine.
"Zero's in love with Kaname-sama! And the night we caught a whiff of Zero's blood was Kaname-sama's doing!"
Ichijou's shocked face was slowly morphing into one of interest.
"But it looks like they hate each other!"
"Something must have happened that Zero hasn't told me about."
"Kiryuu-san is confiding in you?"
A small blush dusted the genius' cheeks.
"…Well, it's not like he has anyone else to talk to!"
The vice dorm leader nodded in agreement, a thousand and one things running through his brain. The two fell silent once more, Ichijou thinking and Aidou watching his every twitch.
"So that's why Kaname's fuse is so short these days!" The taller blond looked finally enlightened, while Aidou continued to stare in slight confusion and awe.
"…Kaname-sama's being affected by this too?"
Both blonds paused to think for a moment; it was certainly strange that Kuran Kaname got worked up over anything aside from that Cross girl, which probably meant…
The genius sighed, shaking his head slowly.
"It has to be it."
"You mean…?"
Aidou nodded solemnly, and they both shared a look that said they had reached an agreement.
Yes, they were, as ridiculous as it sounded, going to try and get the ex-prefect and their dorm leader…together.
At the rate things were going, Kaname's fuse was only going to get shorter, which did not bode well for any of the night class students, and Kiryuu would probably lapse into his streak of violence in retaliation. It was only a matter of time before the two of them clashed directly and annihilated each other, and whatever semblance of peace that they were enjoying right now. Any confrontation of that level would probably leave the whole school in shambles, both literally and figuratively.
It was up to them to prevent that from happening at all costs.
Aidou had managed to catch Zero outside the common room after classes.
He had a feeling Akatsuki knew what he was up to, and Akatsuki being Akatsuki, was being supportive in his own reluctant way by keeping quiet and minding his own business.
"Zero! I need to head to town; would you like to …accompany me?" It took him a while to search for the right word, but he supposed 'accompany' would suffice for now.
"...That's rare. Why're you asking me? I'm sure Kain's willing to go."
"He can't!"
Both the red-head and the ex-prefect looked surprised at his sudden overly loud outburst, and Aidou panicked as he searched his brain for a good reason to get his target to submit.
"Akatsuki can't! He…He has an errand to run for Kaname-sama!"
Akatsuki snorted, and walked in the direction of the library, leaving the short blond with the fair-haired boy. Zero however, looked slightly reluctant.
"Why do you suddenly want to go to town?"
The short blond started to get flustered again; he didn't think that the ex-prefect would question him about his intentions! He frantically made up some excuse of wanting to visit a bookstore that had recently opened.
Zero raised an elegant eyebrow, but nodded slowly.
"Sure, I'll tag along."
Takuma found Kaname alone in his room, diligently tackling his paperwork, and it took nigh two minutes for Kaname to look up from his writing.
"Would you like to go to town, Kaname?"
The sound of scribbling continued, and Kaname didn't answer until he finished the sentence he was writing.
"Why so suddenly?"
Takuma chuckled stiffly, searching his brain for a reason.
"I have an errand to run for my grandfather, and I need to drop by the book store! I was just wondering if you'd like to take a walk in town with me."
Kaname raised an elegant eyebrow, but nodded slowly.
"I don't mind going with you."
By the time they reached town it was late evening; they didn't have class on Sundays, and a walk in town didn't seem like a bad idea to Zero. It was a good break from the drama in school and his search for his past. He greatly enjoyed the night breeze that blew his way, coupled with the fact that Aidou was being more companionable than usual without Kain around, Zero found that he was actually enjoying himself. They were almost at the bookshop when Aidou received a call and told him to 'go walk around while I settle my business'. Zero had gladly complied, pleasantly noting that there was a flea market in the town square. He wandered about the stores, stopping here and there to get a better look at the wares offered.
Then he saw it – a metal bracelet with a tag at the end of it, engraved with a rose.
It appealed to him almost immediately, and he was in the middle of reaching to grab it when his hand bumped into that of another individual's.
"Kiryuu-kun?"
The voice he dreaded to hear was right beside him.
Zero had gathered himself and stepped a polite distance away from the Pureblood, not hiding his displeasure, he acknowledged the pureblood. He wondered for a moment why he didn't notice the taller boy, but remembered Aidou telling him something about purebloods being able to mask their presences.
"Kuran…what are you doing here?"
The brunet had put on his 'social' mask; a smile that never reached his eyes.
"I'm accompanying Ichijou on an errand. What about yourself?"
Zero shrugged, turning back to the bracelet, looking everywhere except at the older boy's face.
"I'm taking a walk in town with Aidou. He needed to drop by the book store for a bit."
Kaname looked pensive then.
"…the bookstore?"
The pureblood shook it off, his eyes trained on the younger boy, he gestured to the bracelet.
"Are you getting that?"
Zero snorted, turning away to look at the lamppost.
"You can have it, I don't want it anymore."
Kaname watched him in silence.
It had been a while since he had been so close to the younger boy. Every feature on that beautiful face, every sway of each strand of silver perfection that the breeze combed through, every graceful movement of those long, wonderfully sculpted limbs – it all seemed to familiar yet alien at the same time. He had never seen Kiryuu Zero like this before.
To Kuran Kaname, Kiryuu Zero had always been no more than a chess piece, a knight for his queen, an irritating but necessary existence. The fact that the Hunter was aesthetically pleasing had never occurred to him before he lost his memories; it was something that didn't concern him.
Yet now, he caught himself staring more often than not, he found himself wishing that the ex-prefect would be waiting for him in his room when he got back from meetings, remembering the times when he had that slim body in his arms.
"…What are you staring at?"
Zero was looking at him incredulously, and when he didn't answer, the younger boy didn't push the matter further and turned, muttering a soft "seeya" and heading toward the bookstore.
A hand on his wrist stopped him from going any further.
Zero froze, before letting out an annoyed sigh, turning to face the brunet, ready to engage in an emotionally straining exchange, but when he saw the Pureblood's face, he couldn't bring himself to say anything.
That normally cool gaze was scarily intense, that handsome face reflecting an emotion that Zero couldn't place.
"K…Kuran?"
"Come with me."
He was dragged into a dark alleyway, shoved against a wall almost brutally, and he was recovering from the pain and in the middle of a curse when his lips were caught by a pair of insistent ones in a violent kiss.
The alarm bells in Zero's mind immediately went off, and he shoved at the brunet, struggling to break free.
"Let go of me, Kuran!"
He managed to push the older boy off him before those annoying familiar hands took his jacket off. The Pureblood looked angry, regretful and annoyed at the same time. But this time, Zero wouldn't give in to him.
"I'm sick of this, Kuran!" His voice sounded twice as loud in his ears as he continued speaking, grating out the words.
"I'm sick of being your stress outlet! I'm tired of being something you only care about out of obligation and I've had enough of being a fucking substitute for a woman!" He didn't understand why, but his chest clenched and it was aching so badly he thought he was going to collapse. But the anger that was building up in him was overwhelming his senses. The brunet had froze in his actions, an expression of pure confusion and surprise on his fine features.
Why can't you see me?
"Go fuck a whore, you bastard."
Why can't you see me for myself?
…was it because he wasn't himself?
He wasn't 'Kiryuu Zero', he wasn't even half of him. 'Kiryuu Zero' lost his memories, and he was the result. The fair-haired boy didn't wait for the brunet to respond, simply turning around and breaking out into a run; he didn't care where, he just needed to get away from that person, to get away from the memory of 'Kiryuu Zero'.
….Who was he?
Who was Kiryuu Zero?
Zero's head hurt, and he felt the urge to shout and shoot something, but his thoughts kept assaulting him, wounding his pride –
Kaname seemed to be struggling internally as well, the expression on his face made Zero feel even worse than he did already, and he hated it.
But it was what left the brunet's mouth that made him want to go mad. He wanted to get away from this terrifying person that was making feel emotions that he had never wanted to feel.
"I can't understand it myself – why can't I stop touching you?"
Zero didn't know how to react, he didn't know what to say. He simply stared at the older boy's face in utter and complete disbelief.
He couldn't…what?
The brunet's forehead was against his shoulder, and he was still talking.
"Why can't I leave you alone?"
The grip the older boy had on his arms was bordering on painful.
"Why can't I just kill you?"
Zero shoved the brunet away from him, lilac eyes wide in accusing anger, but the grip the older boy had on him didn't release.
"I don't want to see your face right now, damn it!" Zero continued to struggle, more in fury than anything else, desperate to escape from this hateful predicament, to escape from this insensitive, selfish man.
Kaname didn't reply.
The ex-prefect's hands were shaking so badly, his entire body felt like lead as the Kuran pushed him further against the wall in attempt to gain better leverage and hold on him. The pureblood refused to let him escape. The younger boy resorted to pulling at the other's clothes, yelling curses into his ear, before slowly dying down to muffled sobs and weak pushes.
"Why the fuck are you doing this to me?"
Kaname didn't want to register the pain in his chest as he heard the utter despair in the fair-haired boy's tone.
They were both so terribly confused. What were they feeling? What were they doing? They were in a dirty, cold alleyway holding on to each other for dear life as they tried to sort out what was going on.
It was so poetic, yet foolish at the same time. Kaname didn't know what to think as Zero leaned against his shoulder. He could tell the younger boy was tired. They both were.
And it was in that moment that Kaname could no longer deny it.
He loved Kiryuu Zero.
It was a revelation that wasn't supposed to surprise him, and yet there he stood, in complete disbelief that such a day would come. He wanted the hunter. He ached for the boy. He wanted to protect him, to shower him with affection, to make him look at only him. It was a phenomenon that he had never encountered, he could never explain. It made absolutely no sense. He had only ever felt this way for one other person.
He could tell from the younger boy's actions that the feeling was mutual, but then the doubts form in the back of his brilliant mind once more.
He was Kuran Kaname.
…He loved Kiryuu Zero.
The sheer impossibility of the two concepts merging into one scared him. The sheer height of the consequences that they would face if they ever committed to a relationship was titanic. The council would never hear of it. The association would never allow it. The risk was monumental.
…But at that point in time, Kaname didn't care.
"Kiryuu-kun," he began, so afraid he didn't dare move a muscle.
The fair-haired boy didn't answer, but Kaname knew he was listening.
"I think…"
"Kaname-sama!"
Both boys tensed, but neither felt the inclined to step away from each other until the two blonds came into view. Kaname refused to let the slightly smaller boy go, and Zero felt inexplicably safe wrapped in the brunet's arms. Kaname had mentally screamed in frustration at the interruption, but turned and greeted both nobles.
"Kaname-sama, are you alright?"
"Kiryuu-kun, did something happen?"
Zero was leaning against the wall, looking ruffled and disinterested, knee propped up and hands in his pockets.
Watching the unhappy pureblood and pissed off ex-hunter out of the corner of his eye, Aidou was positive they had messed up somewhere and gotten them to hate each other's guts instead of making up. Takuma and him had heard the both of them shouting at each other, and had immediately rushed to where they were, praying hard that they hadn't killed each other yet. But with the glares that Kaname was shooting him from behind that smile was making him regret even trying in the first place.
"What are you doing here, Aidou?"
The shorter blond jumped, not daring to look his leader in the eye.
"I ran into him at the bookstore, Kaname. He told me that Kiryuu-kun came with him, and then we heard you shouting at each other, so we rushed over."
Aidou was thankful for Ichijou's save, nodding profusely in agreement.
Kaname's displeasure was still evident, but he pushed it aside, suggesting that they all head back together, and propositioned for Zero to drop by his room later that night.
Zero on the other hand, looked absolutely wretched, and had told the brunet to go get that stick out his ass before telling him what to do, stalking off alone and ignoring Aidou and Ichijou's repetitions of his name.
It was dark.
He felt horrible. He was clutching as his sides in pain.
He felt like he was going mad.
The thirst at the back of his throat was burning, it made his entire body shake with an insatiable need.
His vision was blurry, and he could barely move from the searing pain. He was reaching for something on the bedside table, blindly feeling for it almost desperately, and when he finally got a hold of it he brought it closer to his face.
A box of blood tablets.
He gathered a few of the despicable things on his palm, with a little difficulty because his hands were shaking so much, guiding the tablets to his mouth he tried to stomach them dry, and the way they went down his throat made him want to claw out his gullet. When they finally entered his system his whole body tensed, and he moved, as if guided by some inexplicable force, immediately to the bathroom to hold on to the edge of the porcelain sink for dear life as he vomited his guts out. He was shaking uncontrollably.
He was terrified.
He didn't dare look into the mirror, he didn't want to see just how much of a monster he had become. He didn't want to be reminded that he had become the very thing that took away his family, the breed of damned creatures that had taken away everything.
He didn't want to see the glowing red irises in the mirror and be reminded of that night.
He didn't want to become one of them.
His body was shutting down slowly.
Desperate, he brought his own wrist to his mouth, making a small gash, hissing softly as the scent of fresh blood hit his nostrils.
He was despicable.
He brought his wrist to his parched lips, letting his own blood taint his tongue. He was despicable, but at least this way, no one would be hurt.
No one but himself.
His eyes trailed up to the mirror -
Zero jerked awake, a cold sweat on his brow. He was shivering, but he sat up, bringing a hand to his temples to ease his headache. It felt so real.
Was that part of his past? He could only barely control his breathing, his whole body felt so tense he was actually tired. He was still extremely disturbed by what he had just seen.
Had his body rejected the tablets before?
If this was glimpses of his past in his dreams, didn't that mean that the dreams before – they were true? They really happened?
Of course.
His parents didn't die in a car crash.
They were murdered in cold blood.
And slowly bits and pieces started to come back to him.
He was a hunter. His parents were hunters. He was the natural enemy of Vampires. And yet, he had become one of them. That's why most of the Vampires in the school hated him. That's why he owned a gun that could kill them. That's why Kuran always kept a watch on him.
He shook his head in a desperate attempt to organize his thoughts.
Why?
Why were they lying to him?
Why were they trying to change him?
As the pieces fell into place Zero felt betrayed.
He felt like the past month had been an utter and complete lie. A farce that the brunette and the headmaster and Kuran had cooked up in order to 'correct' him.
Zero's head hurt so badly he wanted to fall unconscious.
But now, now he had a purpose.
He flung the covers off of himself, getting dressed somewhat hurriedly, he slammed the door on his way out.
He was going to find answers.
Kiryuu Zero stood outside Kuran Kaname's door.
He had contemplated just going in, but had knocked as a courtesy.
"What is it? It's four in the morning."
He knew that the pureblood could sense his presence from inside, and he really couldn't give a flying fuck what ungodly hour it was at the moment.
"We need to talk, Kuran."
The door clicked open, and the ex-prefect stalked into the room to find the brunet at his desk, reading some documents.
"What do you want?"
The pureblood sounded displeased, and even slightly tired, but all this was lost on Zero in his confused rage.
"What the fuck are you trying to pull?"
The brunet looked up from his reading, unimpressed.
"What do you mean?"
Zero could barely control his anger, but kept his restraint, clenching his fists so tightly they were numb.
"I know, Kuran. I fucking know what happened."
The pureblood looked genuinely surprised.
"I've been-" Zero started, trying to steady his shaking voice.
"I've been so fucking confused for the past month trying to figure out who I was. Who I used to be! Was it fun? Lying to me. Telling me that my parents were killed in a car crash when they were murdered by your kind! Whose stupid idea was that?"
Kaname's eyes narrowed. So it had come to this.
"Your memories have returned?"
Zero was pacing about the room now, extremely agitated. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Birdie flitting about his cage in anxiety from his raised voice.
"Bad news for you and your little plan, isn't it. But no, I don't remember everything, but I remember enough to know that you and that Cross girl have been bullshitting me. So, what was the plan? That girl tells me my life story that was probably pirated from some sad movie, while I'm distracted by your charming self so I won't ever feel the desire to know about my past? Is that it? But what would that do you? What benefits would you reap? Maybe you'll finally get to please your precious princess once and for all? Make me the unknowing poster boy of coexistence?"
The fair-haired boy laughed morbidly, but refused to meet Kaname's eyes.
"You…kept me in your room so you could keep an eye on me, didn't you?"
The brunet didn't reply, but the look on his face was answer enough.
"You wanted to make sure I really lost my memory. You wanted to know whether I would kill you and your friends in your sleep. But I really did lose my memories. So your precious Yuuki decided that she would rewrite my life for me?"
Kaname could find no room to retort, and he tried to calm him.
"Kiryuu-"
"No, Kuran. Don't. It almost worked, you know?"
The pureblood didn't answer, but merely watched as the silver-haired boy continued pacing.
"I feel so stupid."
The ex-prefect had started laughing, void of all mirth whatsoever.
"To think," he began, slowing his steps and lowering his head to stare at the floor. The younger boy's voice was so soft Kaname had to strain his ears to hear him.
"To think I was in love with you."
Kaname's entire being froze. Zero's voice seemed to reverberate in the room, and the pureblood couldn't stop himself from replaying that sentence over and over in his mind.
"You know what, Kuran?"
Kaname could only bring himself to stare in shock at the boy who was standing in front of his desk, a look that almost broke his heart on his beautiful face.
"Fuck you."
The younger boy turned to leave, trying to hold in his heartache. He didn't want to let the pureblood know that he was affecting him; that seeing his face made his heart ache. He had expected to the pureblood to smirk and tell him that it was true; everything was for Yuuki and his ideal of coexistence. He had expected Kuran Kaname to be the cold-hearted asshole he knew he was and laugh in his face. He had expected him to tell him that he wasn't worth his time in the first place, that it was over.
He hadn't expected the pureblood to embrace him.
"Don't go."
Zero was confused. He didn't want to feel so much for the man who had helped lie to him. The pureblood's grip was vice-like, and he could feel the taller boy's breath on his ear. He could feel the brunet's racing heartbeat.
Kiryuu Zero steeled himself, trying to pull free from the brunet but failing.
He didn't want to be near this man, hell, he didn't want to be near anyone right now. He had merely come here to explode at someone, and he had mentally prepared himself for whatever that would come on his way there.
But what left Kuran Kaname's lips next caught him completely by surprise.
"I love you, Kiryuu Zero."
Zero's whole body felt like lead as his struggling died. He merely stood there then, trapped in the brunet's strong arms, his mind a complete blank.
He gathered himself a moment later.
He turned to look the pureblood in the eyes, his violet gaze cold and hard.
"I don't think I can trust you."
A/N: Finally, an update! –shot-
I'm so sorry that I took so long. Well, there's been progress in the story, so I hope you'll forgive me. OTL. Please excuse my dramatic tendencies, it just happened. Or more like, the story just started running in that direction without my consent. I sincerely thank you for reading so far, and hope that you continue putting up with my horribly dramatic and cheesy writing. Once again, forgive me for any discrepancies or spelling or grammar errors, I am extremely careless sometimes. OTL. I'm also very tempted to write a story in which Kaname spoils Zero, and it may turn out to be a continuation of one of my other fics, namely 'Ownership', but that's just my little fantasy. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please drop a review to keep me motivated! -bricked-