Robb Stark is my rock. There is no doubt in that. He is my support, he is my best friend and a lover at the same time. I would trust him with my life, and I wouldn't think twice about it. But he is not the person I wished to talk to right now. To be honest, Robb was the last person I wished to talk to now.

Tyrion is my brother. The one person that had been by my side my whole life. The one who never questioned me, and the only one who always put me before him. He is a long way from here, but even if he was next to me, he wouldn't be the person I would want to talk, and seek advice from.

Gendry has been my best friend for years. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for that man, and he knows it. And it goes both ways. Even though I have his unconditional support, he is not the person I want to talk to right now. As much as I love him, and trust him, he can't help me now.

I never thought that this day would come, but it's here. There are two persons that I needed more than anything in this situation. And they are probably the only ones that I cannot have close, under any circumstances. I needed Jaime. And I needed Cersei.

After everything that has happened, I needed them. I hated admitting it, I hated it with more than words could describe, but I could not escape it.

I wanted to be a little girl again, guarded and safe. I wanted Jaime to be here, to hug me, and to be the big brother he used to be. His sick, sick mind made no difference. I needed my big brother now, and I needed him more than anyone.

And Cersei? The horrible sister that hated me since the day I was born? She is the only one that could understand the way I feel now. She and no one else. Never more in my life have I wanted an older sister, who would give me advice, and comfort me when I'm scared. Right now, I am scared beyond belief, and I needed her to be here for me.

In a few days, my family will start a war with the only two persons that could help me now. And there is nothing that I can do about it.

And I can't even look Robb in the eyes. I ran away from him last night. I might love him more than I could ever say or show, but I could not face him. He is my King, I am his Queen, and I cannot even look him in the eyes.

I was always aware that I wasn't born to achieve greatness. Even though I carried the name of the House Lannister, I was always just a girl. Just a normal girl. The only way I stood out from the other was my determination. I wanted to be an archer, and I learned it. I wanted to know how to sword fight and I learned from the best. I was different, but I wasn't special. I was supposed to marry a man from a good family, and I did. I married the best man in whole of Westeros. A kind, honorable, honest and all around good man. We were supposed to lead a quiet life, to have a family, and to inherit Winterfell someday. And that was supposed to be it. Lady of Winterfell, nothing more, nothing less. And I was perfectly fine with it. To be honest, I preferred things the way they were, with Eddard and Catelyn in charge, and Robb and me helping them, standing by them. Somehow, we ended up here. We are King and Queen in the North. We rule, not only Winterfell, but the North. We are in charge of the North.

Am I supposed to wear a crown now? Oh, who gives a damn about the crown?! I should be worried about the armies my father will send directly to us, in days' time!

We are nothing more than dead people, living on borrowed time. And no matter what we do, we can't change it.

I looked down at my boy, who was in his cradle. He wasn't ill anymore. He was smiling at me, perfectly unaware of all the Seven Hells that are breaking down on his family. He's growing up so fast. I would do anything to stop it. As long as he's a baby, all the problems and responsibilities do not affect him in any way. But once he grows up… Well, he will probably grow up too fast. Just like his father and I did.

All of the things that could possibly go wrong went wrong. And there is nothing for me to do, other than to accept it the way it is. I can only accept it as it is, and try to catch my breath along the way.

I am no Queen. I know it, Robb knows it, Eddard and Catelyn know it, but it doesn't matter. I'm not a Queen, in no way, but I am married to a King. I will be the worst Queen in the history of Westeros.

Rickard was smiling at me as I was walking around the room, with him in my arms. He really is a beautiful boy. Looks more like his father with each passing day, and that is just the way I like it. Even if I was blessed with not looking like a Lannister, my child could have just as easily had blonde hair. The only thing "Lannister" on both me and him is the nose. Rickards hair was dark, reddish brown, not exactly auburn, but he was definitely not blond. And in his eyes, I could see his father and Catelyn.

My brave little boy.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said, expecting either Robb or Elisa. It was Elisa.

"Your Grace." She said, and she bowed to me.

"Don't." I said, and she looked confused." Please, Elisa, don't ever call me that. I could live with "My Lady", but I beg of you, do not call me Your Grace." I said. That is the last thing I want to hear, especially if it's coming from a friend.

"I apologize." She said in a low voice." I wasn't sure… I'm not sure of anything anymore." She added.

"Is anyone?" I asked, and she gave me a weak smile." Elisa, how in the name of Gods has this happened? How did we get here? How?" I asked.

"Well, we took the King's Road." She said, and I sighed.

"I wish I could laugh, but I can't." I said, and she shrugged. I could see that she was confused and that she didn't know what to say to me. She probably wished to help me, despite how impossible it might seem." And I need answers. How did we get here? Not that long ago, I was still living in King's Landing and my daily worries were where I was going to hide from the Septa, if the guards would catch me sneaking out in the middle of the night, and can I find a thousand new ways to annoy my sister. Not that long ago, that was our daily routine. And now… I'm a wife, I'm a mother, and somehow, I'm the Queen in the North. How?" I whispered. Elisa couldn't answer me. And I'm not exactly sure I want an answer.

"We came here Elena." Elisa said, and I looked at her." One day, the King told you that you're going North with the rest of his family. We arrived, and you… Well, you fell in love. Perhaps not with your husband, but with the family. You cared for them too much Elena. If you didn't give a damn, we would probably still be in King's Landing, I would still follow you around, and you would be married to Renly." She said. Every time that someone reminds me of that unfortunate paring that thankfully never actually happened, I feel relief. Whatever troubles I'm in now, it's still better than being married to Renly. Or being married to Oberyn Martell.

"Well, I know what I think, but what do you think? Was it all a mistake? Should I have been more cold and less friendly? Would I be happier today if I stayed out of it all?" I asked. In no way am I questioning the decisions I made. I made them, and I stand behind them. I just want to know what she thinks.
"Your life might have been a lot more calmer, but I wouldn't say happier." She said, and I smiled." You love your man. You have a beautiful, strong baby. And you love this whole family. Yes, your life might have been calmer, but I highly doubt it would have been filled with happiness more than it already is." She said, and I smiled. She is right. It does not matter where I could have ended up, I would not be happy if I didn't have Robb by my side.

"I love him. If I have to be a Queen to prove that, than that's what I'll do." I whispered. I was reassuring myself more than I was saying it to Elisa.

I still needed reassuring. Deep down, I was still an insecure little girl, and not a Queen. Thankfully, it does not take me long to pull myself together once again. I'm back. I might not be overjoyed with it, but I have to be the Queen. And I will do what I am supposed to do.

"I'm not telling you what you should do Elena, but he wasn't exactly cheerful this morning." Elisa said, and I nodded. I could only imagine how this all must feel for Robb. And I wasn't exactly the most supporting wife last night. While I believe that my reasons were understandable, I can't be sure about how Robb sees them. He might just see me as an unsupportive bitch. Even if I would have preferred to be in my chambers for the rest of the day, I knew that I really shouldn't do that to him.

He needs me. And I need him too. More than ever before, and it this was barely the bagging.

"No, you're right." I said, and I took in a deep breath."I'll get ready and then I'll go see him. Could you watch over Rickard?" I asked.

"Of course." She said, smiling." Now, let me fix your hair." She said, and I had to give in. I was ready to endure the torture, but she was finished before I knew it. Elisa knew very well that I wanted to speak to Robb as soon as I can, and that I don't want to waste time on trying to look pretty. Or his mood was seriously bad when she saw him.

I didn't hesitate before I walked into our chambers. He was standing and looking out the window. He looked at me, but by the time I turned around after closing the doors, he was looking out the window again. And he didn't say a word.

As much as I loved him, I knew that things between the two of us aren't always perfect and magical. Every now and then, he says something, I sulk, he apologizes, and once again, we're mad about each other. Whenever we have does sort of moments, they never last for too long, and once they are over, we carry on like nothing ever happened.

This time was different. And not only because I was the one who needed to apologize. I have no problem with admitting that I am wrong when I know I am wrong. It was strange, now that we switched our roles, but that wasn't the problem. The true problem is that this is very much different than anything we ever faced before. This is about a war, and about ruling. About duty and family. This is no time for us to act like angry children.

I knew I was supposed to speak first. I just didn't know how to start. I opened my mouth, and closed it, realizing I had no idea what I should say to him. Then again, open, close, open, close.

"You hurt me Elena." He said, before I managed to make myself speak. And his words only shut me up even more." I needed you." He added. Well, I am pretty sure I couldn't ever feel more miserable than I do now. I knew that he was bothered with what I did, but I suppose I wasn't aware just how much.

"I am truly sorry." I said, finally being able to speak." I have made many mistakes in my life, but not staying with you last night is one of the biggest ones, by far. I understand that you needed to talk to me, but I needed some time too. I was selfish, and I am sorry, but you must understand." I said.

"Understand what?" he snapped. He never talked like that to me before.

"Understand how I felt too!" I said, a little bit too feisty considering that I am trying to apologize.

"Oh, and I feel brilliant." He said, and he finally turned around. He is really angry with me." You think I wanted this?" he asked.

"I know you didn't. And neither did I. The problem is, you don't know the first thing about being a King." I said. I was aware that I was being too honest, but this is important.

"And you do?" He asked. Not only have I never seen him this being this angry with me before, but I have never seen him this angry ever before. He was always calm and collected, and now, I have a horrible feeling that if we continue, we might reach hate. And once I wondered if we could even reach love.

"As a matter of fact, yes, yes I do. I have lived with the late King for a bigger part of my life. I have seen the way it goes Robb. Can you say the same?" I asked.

"Just because you lived there does not mean you know anything about being a King." He said.

"And am I the one who should know that, or you?" I asked. Before he could say anything, I was speaking once again." The only thing I need to know is how to look pretty and stand next to you. I will not be in trouble. Now, the real question is, do you want me to become Cersei, or do you want me to be the same girl you married? Against your will, if I might add." I said.

"I was never forced into it!" He said, and I smirked.

"Oh, weren't you? Because I seem to remember the look on your face." I said.

"I wanted to marry you!" He yelled. I was surprised, but with the yelling, not with the words he said." I could have said no. We would have paid the price, but we will still pay for it now. I could have said no, but I said yes, because I wanted to marry you." He said. Oh Gods. Why this, why now?

"So, what, you're telling me you were in love with me?" I asked.

"I wasn't in love. I was a kid. I knew that that was the way to save my father. I knew you were beautiful. I knew you were funny. I knew I will fall for you like a fool, if only I had a chance. You weren't the love of my life at that point, but I wasn't exactly forced into it." he said, and his voice was back to normal. There will be time for swooning later. As much as I melted when I heard those words, I can't think of it now.

"Then tell me, do you want me to be a Queen, or your wife?" I asked.

"I need you to be both." He announced. I did not expect to hear this." I can't rule alone, and neither can you. Do you remember when you first told me you loved me?" He asked, and I nodded." Before that, you said that we were in this together. We are in this together. I need you to be in this with me. I am the King in the North now. I never wanted it, you know that. But it cannot be changed. I am King in the North because my father cannot be and I will do him proud. I need to be a good King, and for that, I need you by my side. I need you to be my Queen. I need you to be my Queen, to stand by me, to tell me your opinion, to help me rule. And at the end of the day, when it's all over, I need you here, right by my side, to be the girl with a sharp tongue that I love more and more by each passing day. I need you to remind me that I am not just a King, but a husband, and a father, and a son, a brother, friend… I need you Elena. This is not the time for you to get scared. I need you." He said.

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I have always hated crying, ever since I was a little girl. I would try and fight it, even if I was alone, in my chambers. And crying in front of someone was worse.

No matter how hard it was, I would fight against it, because I did not want Robb to see it. He may see me happy, angry, worried, but never have before have I shown him fear. Never at this extent at least.

"I never wanted to be a Queen." I said, and I lost my breath. I could not pretend any longer. Not for him, not for everyone. I didn't just lose my breath.

Robb caught me before I hit the ground. He pulled me up, and he calmed me down a little bit by stroking my hair.

"It will all be fine, my love." He whispered.

"So much for your strong Queen." I said, my voice shaking.

"I didn't marry a strong Queen. I married a strong girl." He said, and I smiled at him." And you didn't marry the King either. We will get there together. We will grow together. As long as we have each other, I am not worried about us. But please, do not leave like you did last night." He added in a low voice.

"I was afraid of this exact conversation. It had nothing to do with you. And I'm never leaving you again." I said, and I kissed him.

I'm not sure what happened. As we were kissing, something just blew up inside of us. Before I knew it, we were ripping each other's clothes of, and we were on the bed.

It's been a while since we were this impulsive. Having a child can change your dynamic. I'm more than happy to know that we still have that passion for one another, just like we did at the begging of our story.

One day, I will ask him about what he said today. About how he felt about me. And he will tell me that story, but that will not be today. Today, we have more important things to worry about.

"Oh Gods." I said, once I realized something that I haven't paid much attention to before.

"What is it?" he asked.

"What if you get me with child again?" I asked, but there was no answer from him. I shouldn't be surprised to see that I'm not the only one who didn't think about that at all." It is possible Robb. What will we do then?" I asked.

"Well, I'm not keeping my hands off you." He said, and I laughed. That's settled then." If it happens, it happens. War, peace, it doesn't matter. You are my wife, and you are my family." He said, and he kissed me once again. A war camp will not be a good place for a pregnant Queen, but if I don't have a choice, I will live with it. It could be worse, I suppose.

We were kissing and, I suppose, contemplating making love once again when there was a knock at the door. I jumped off him and I covered myself with the blankets. There was no use in trying to get dressed. It will take me far too much time, and by the time I'm dressed, the person at the door will still know very well what have we been doing. And it might even be something urgent.

"Come in." Robb said once he was sure that we were both covered up. It was Elisa.

"Your Grace. Your Grace." She said, and I rolled my eyes.

"What have I told you?" I asked, irritated by the damn title.

"Elena, your husband is the King. You may be comfortable with me calling you by your name, but you will have to take the Your Grace thing when you're with him." She said, and Robb and I both laughed.

"You can call me Robb, Elisa." He said." It's going to be difficult enough as it is." He added.

"What is it Elisa, is Rickard alright?" I asked, remembering that she must have had a reason to be here.

"He is more than fine Elena." She said. Relieved, I was more than ready to hear whatever bad news she had for me now." I just thought you might wish to know that you're brother has arrived." She said.

Hope you liked it guys :) I'm working on the next chapter :)