It was an unusually boring day in the bullpen. Deeks sat with his feet propped up on his desk, getting dirt on the paperwork he was supposed to be doing; Callen twirled his pencil as he stared blankly down at the piles of paper he had yet to complete; Kensi was, as per usual, already almost done with her share, but slowing down significantly as the afternoon wore on; and Sam was gazing intently at the computer in front of him. His eyes searched the screen furiously, and finally he exclaimed,
"When did college get so damn expensive? By the time my girls graduate high school, I'm gonna have to sell my kidney to put them through."
Kensi's head perked up at the mention of methods of paying for college, a sly and most malicious grin etched upon her face. Deeks sensed what she was going to say, and her gave a "don't you dare" face.
But it was too late, Kensi couldn't resist.
"You know, if you're looking for intriguing ways of paying for college, Deeks could certainly give you a few tips," she shot him a playful glance, "if you know what I mean."
Callen smirked, "I feel like we're missing something here…"
"Oh no," said Deeks nervously, still keeping his eyes on Kensi, "nothing at all."
"Ya'll are wack," concluded Sam. But then a thought seemed to pop into his head, and it seemed Deeks might be saved.
"Where did u go to law school anyways, Deeks?"
"Harvard," he replied as simply as if he were stating his favorite ice cream flavor.
At this the entire team either dropped their pencils or, in Sam's case, also choked on his water bottle.
"What?" he spluttered, his eyes bulging with disbelief.
"Well yeah," Deeks continued nonchalantly, folding his hands under his chin as he leaned on his desk. Then with a sly grin only he could master so perfectly, he said,
"Marty Deeks does not do things half ass, if I couldn't be the best, well then what was the point? So I did. I became the best. I also became the best at beer pong, seems nerds aren't quite as skilled at the liquor games as they are at computer games, but I taught them. Completely beside the point however."
He shrugged his shoulders resumed biting his pencil as he stared intently for the first time at the paperwork on his desk, fully aware if his team still gawking at him.
"But," Kensi said, finally able to find words again, "but - but you... Mmmm…"
He laughed as she closed her mouth again, evidently pleased that he had been the one to render Kensi speechless.
"I think what she means to say is only smart people go to Harvard," Callen said, his enjoyment evident on his face.
"Ouch," said Deeks, but he was not hindered, "no need to consider my feelings eh Callen?"
Callen grinned.
"But no matter, no matter… Everyone, for the record, the next time someone makes a dumb Deeks joke, just remember this ole boy went to Harvard."
"Yeah and dropped out," Kensi scoffed.
"You're missing the point Kens," he said, waving her comment off.
"Oh really? And what is the point oh great and wise Deeks? Please, enlighten us."
"The point is if you look like this," he said pointing to himself, "and you tell a girl you're a Harvard lawyer, there ain't no way she's not gonna drop her pan – "
"Good afternoon Mr. Deeks," Hetty cut in.
Deeks froze for a minute before pulling out his most innocent smile,
"Why hello Hetty, I was just telling the team – "
"About your impressive education and far less impressive morals? Yes I am quite aware, but if we're done with our walk down memory lane, Eric has a case for you all. It seems an ex marine turned philosophy professor has been found dead in his summer house near Long Beach."
As she turned to leave she paused, a wry smile on her face.
"He was a professor at Harvard, fancy that."
Her team merely stared at her.
"Ah life," she said airily as she walked away.
Now it was Deeks' turn to gawk,
"Was it me or did she just seem happy about murder?" he asked.
His team merely shook their heads and clapped his shoulder as they filed past him.