Healing Hearts chapter 2 Bellamy

When Clarke walked away Bellamy felt empty. He walked into camp, unsure where to turn. Bellamy needed to let it sink in. Clarke left him. He thought they may have started something, he was wrong. He began to get pissed. He went to the bar outside camp and got a drink. Sitting outside, he needed to try and figure out what had happened. How many people did they kill? How did it come to that? How could he live with what they felt forced to do? After the third drink, Miller came out.

"Bellamy" he shouted "we've been assigned rooms."

Miller handed Bellamy a room key

"The room numbers on the key" Miller said. "Do you know where Clarke is?"

"Nope" said Bellamy as he slammed his empty glass upside down onto the table. Then Bellamy grabbed his key card, stood up and walked into the Ark.

Miller just watched him walk off. He could tell Bellamy wasn't in a talkative mood, and he knew better than try asking him anything more.

Inside Bellamy passed Octavia and Lincoln in the hall. They were discussing their room; Bellamy just ignored it and went to his room slamming the door behind him. Inside he punched his fist into the wall, splitting open his knuckles. He didn't notice the pain, he didn't care that he was bleeding. He removed his gear and his boots. He undressed down to his shorts and tee shirt. Finally sinking onto the bed, closed his eyes and slept for the first time in days.

Bellamy woke in the middle of the night, the nightmare of strangling Lovejoy with his bare hands then images of his son screaming in agony as burns consumed the child. He was tired but knew sleep wouldn't come again that night. After failing to fall back asleep, he gave up and rose, pulling on his clothes he headed out to walk the perimeter of the camp.

It was quiet and dark. There were a hand full of guards on duty, and Bellamy went to one on the east end. "Hey Riley, anything happening?" he asked, startling the guard. Who was almost beginning to doze off.

"No" said Riley, as he straighted his posture.

" I can't sleep" Ill can relieve you if you want to get some rest" said Bellamy.

"No I can't, you're not even a guardsman" Riley answered back.

Bellamy shrugged and walked away. He decided he was going to speak to Marcus and arrange to be added to the guard, he was sure he had earned a spot since he was the reason Marcus and the others had survived. He would feel better if he could help keep watch. He didn't fully trust the safety of his people to strangers, and right now everyone except the drop ship kids were still strangers, and Riley; whom he caught dozing off; was a good example of why.

He walked to the center of camp. There was always had a campfire burning, with log seats around it. It was known as the meeting place, where people would gather to talk or just hang out. Bellamy sat by the fire. He was alone; everyone was sleeping, except the guards on duty. He sat and wondered what was to become of them now. Would the kids from the drop ship really be forgiven from their crimes? Jaha had already pardoned him, but that was to gain information. He figured the kids would be pardoned, but he also thought they would be given paltry jobs, nothing of great value. They had gone through a lot and had come out bruised and he was going to make sure they all were looked after, they were his responsibility and he wouldn't abandon them like Clarke did. The thought of her angered him, and at the same time he was afraid he may never see her again, and that tore at his heart.

The darkness was comforting, He could hear crickets and small flying bugs that would light up and glow for short periods. He had read about lighting bugs, but wasn't sure if these were them or if these were some off shoot of the radiation that plagued the Earth after the bombs destroyed everything. He just stared at the little bugs flying around, it made him smile briefly.

"Well, mass murder doesn't seem to darken your mood any does it? "Said the voice from the shadows.

Bellamy turned at the sound of Jaspers voice. "Jasper," acknowledged Bellamy. "Your drunk," Said Bellamy as he stood and faced Jasper.

"How could you," Jasper asked. "All those people, all those kids. They were innocent," said Jasper "People that helped you, helped protect us was bad enough, but you murdered little kids," said Jasper. "How could you?"

Jasper wasn't saying anything Bellamy hadn't already thought about. Bellamy's guilt was heavy. Jasper didn't need to remind him about what they had done.

Bellamy didn't say anything at first, he could tell Jasper had been drinking. He just stared at Jasper. Finally he stepped forward, closer to him. "Why don't you hit me. If it'll make you feel better, just go ahead and hit me,"Bellamy finally said. "You think what we did, we planned? If you think it's what we wanted, go ahead damn it just take it out on me right now, cos,if you think hitting me is going to make me feel any worse than I already feel, you're an idiot, so go ahead and just beat me up if it'll make you feel better. I won't even hit back." Bellamy said.

Jasper swung and caught Bellamy in the jaw. He didn't fall, but he stumbled sideways with the blow, then Jasper hit him again. Bellamy stood and took it. Jasper continued hitting Bellamy, and Bellamy took the blows. Struggling to stand, he let Jasper continue, knowing he needed to take it. He realized jasper needed to release his anger, or he would always hold in his resentment. Jasper kept hitting him, but Bellamy still took it, arms down at his sides, he felt like maybe he deserved it.

Riley saw the exchange and ran towards the two. "Stop" he shouted, raising his rifle.

Bellamy held up his hand, "No, no, it's fine," he said. Riley stopped and looked baffled. "Are you okay?" he asked Bellamy.

Bellamy, just waved the man away, then he looked back at Jasper. "Come on, is that the best you can do? " he said between ragged breath and a bloody mouth, his eye starting to swell .

Riley radioed for Marcus. "You need to come out here, we have a situation" he said on his radio, as several more guardsmen gathered.

Jasper hit him again, as tears began streaming down his face. "I hate you, you son of a bitch" he yelled as he continued hitting Bellamy in the face. "I loved her and you murdered her, you bastard, she saved you and you killed her" he cried, as he kept hitting Bellamy. Bellamy didn't fight back or try to stop him. Jaspers beating was as therapeutic for him as it was for Jasper. Bellamy kept taking the blows Jasper was throwing.

Bellamy finally fell to his knees, as Marcus came out still pulling on his over shirt. "What's going on, stop it" he yelled, as he saw Bellamy on his knees, but Bellamy just waved him away.

"Come on Jasper, is that all you got?" he struggled to say as his mouth began to swell.

Jasper hit him again hard across the side of his face, finally Bellamy fell to the ground. Trying to sit back up, when Jasper climbed on top of him and continued the pounding until Bellamy had lost consciousness

Jasper, crying. "How could you," he cried. "I loved her, she helped you" he cried. Jasper looked down at Bellamy, his face bloody. "I'm sorry" he cried, "I loved her , I'm sorry," He cried.

Marcus and Riley pulled Jasper off of Bellamy. He had a confused look on his face, unsure why Bellamy let Jasper beat him so badly, he figured it was guilt, he knew the three in the control room were dealing with what they had to do, enough so that Clarke left.

"Come on son, " he said to Jasper ,as he pulled Jasper to his feet. He sat Jasper down by the fire, Jasper was crying.

Marcus looked at the guards, "Get him to medical," he said motioning towards Bellamy. " I'll be there shortly," he said. The guards lifted Bellamy up and carried him inside, as Marcus sat down next to Jasper.

"Did that help?" he asked Jasper.

"You should know they didn't have a choice," said Marcus. "We tried to get them to stop and they wouldn't listen. Bellamy, Clarke, Monty; they didn't want to do it.

"I was going to kill Cage, they didn't give me a chance, I was going to kill him" said Jasper. "Those people didn't deserve that" said Jasper. "Maya helped him" cried Jasper.

"Our people didn't deserve to be murdered either. They have to live with it and it's not going to be easy for them Jasper. It's not going to be easy for anyone," said Marcus.

They sat quietly at the fire. Marcus knew Jasper was going through a lot of pain, and it was going to take a while for him to move past it, and he hoped he could, but he also realized that Bellamy and most of the other kids were struggling too. He was just beginning to realize how much.

Marcus made sure Jasper found his room and once he was sure he had settled in, Marcus made his way to medical to check on Bellamy.

When Marcus got to medical, Jackson and Riley were with Bellamy. Jackson was cleaning Bellamy's face.

"How's he doing" asked Marcus.

"He should be fine, he'll need a couple stitches, but what the hell happened?" asked Jackson.

"He wouldn't even fight back or try to defend himself" said Riley, who was standing with Jackson.

"Maybe, he thought he deserved it, or maybe he did it for Jasper," said Marcus, "maybe a little of both."

"He wouldn't let me stop it," said the Riley. "It was crazy."

Jackson cleaned Bellamy up. He stitched a cut above his eye, and determined that was all he could do, Bellamy wasn't in need of anything more other than rest.