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52. Say It Ain't So

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Disclaimer: For those of you wondering, I have never tried cocaine—and I don't plan on it haha! I read a book about it my freshman year of college for a class, so I know a little bit about it—from what I can remember from the book. Also, my best friend tried it and said it tasted awful, which is how I know it does. I just felt that the moment was fitting for the Joker and Giada because it shows their imperfections as characters, especially Giada's. It shows we are all susceptible to having weak moments, right on wrong. It's just a part of being human. Finally, the scene Giada has later on in the chapter is something I took from 10 Things I Hate About You. I just watched it yesterday and Heath's character reminded me a pre-Joker Joker hahaha…so I guess, imagine that when you are reading it! I do not own 10 Things I Hate About You. Hope you all continue to read and enjoy! I really love all of the reviews you send me!

The Joker's lips trailed slowly up my stomach to my neck, where he let his tongue and teeth graze my skin delicately. I squirmed in his arms at the tickling sensation.

"S…s…stop it! That tickles!" I giggled as he held me pinned to the bed. He simply snickered in my ear and continued pleasurably torturing me. I wiggled my wrists free from his grasp and shoved my hands against his face, further smearing the makeup that decorated his carefully sculpted features.

"Okay, I'm done now," he surrendered and flopped onto his back beside me.

"So glad you feel that way," I sighed, finally able to relax. I remained on my back, staring up at the ceiling.

It was a strange feeling knowing he was lying right there beside me. Completely silent, his chest rhythmically rose and fell while he too stared off into the void of the ceiling. Our bodies were close, just barely touching. The heat from his sent goosebumps shivering up my arms and down my legs. I never remembered him feeling this warm to me, but I didn't really mind.

Part of me just wanted to curl up close to him and wrap my arms about his torso and never let go. I could always try and reap the consequences later—maybe he wouldn't mind cuddling with me. Maybe he would cut my face. There's no telling with the Joker. I wondered how long we would remain in the bed—how much longer it would be until I would get the real surprise—and not the prelude, which had been pretty fantastic. I was pretty sure that I would be happy getting to make love to him every single day and night. I was positive he wouldn't complain either.

I was so content just being by his side, even in absolute silence, I almost didn't even care about the surprise. I didn't want to move from this moment—this position. I was afraid to move, lest he decide it be time to get going. But I needed to touch him. I needed to reach out for his hand. I took in a deep breath and moved my arm slightly; but I didn't even have the chance to find his hand. His hand found mine first. My heart nearly exploded as he took my hand in his.

We remained laying still on the bed, on our backs, my right hand fingers laced with his left hand fingers. I glanced over at him to just observe him for a moment in a state of peaceful bliss, staring into nothingness. There was something tragically beautiful about his face and the way the makeup was smeared and smudged in certain areas, while it was completely missing in others. The scars and his lips were only tainted red from the paint, and the black that surrounded his eyes ran into the remaining white, making some shade of grey in the areas surrounding his eyes. For some reason, I always loved the intensity the black paint brought out in his dark eyes. The way he would stare into my eyes always made me tremble with excitement—the thrill of never really quite knowing what was running through his mind as his eyes stared back.

I shuddered at the thought as it sent goosebumps returning to my body. Unfortunately, my shiver broke through his moment of serenity. He turned his head abruptly, as it to make sure I was okay. I turned my head to meet his gaze. I just smiled at him. He simply unlocked his fingers from mine and reached his arms out. The Joker pulled me closer to him and gently rolled me over onto my side. His arm finished wrapping itself around me as he pressed the warm front of his body to the back of mine. Spooning. I loved it. I guess he was in a cuddly mood. Or maybe this was his way of keeping me from shivering again. Either way, I didn't care. I was lying in the Joker's arms in a relatively romantic position. I was absolutely elated. There wasn't much that could ruin the moment for me.

"I think it's time we…get that surprise," the Joker said finally into my ear. Nothing could have ruined the moment—except having him break it! I bit my lip and turned around in his arms so that I could face him.

"I guess we could do that," I replied.

"Well, if you don't want the surprise, that's alright too," he coaxed, licking his lips, "but I know it is something you are going to enjoy,"

"I don't doubt it. Let's go then," I responded, returning his grin. He released me from his hold, sat up on the edge of the bed and then stood to his feet. I followed his lead by picking up my clothes and starting to dress myself.

"You should wear this," he said suddenly, tossing me some familiar looking clothing. My heart nearly stopped as the black and red clothing from my past fell into my hands.

"You still have these?!" I exclaimed, nearly in shock. I examined them over and they looked like they were in great condition.

"I couldn't throw something like that away," he giggled as he pointed to the corset. I pursed my lips and nodded my head.

"So what did you do with it for the past two years?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A lot of this," he made a jacking-off motion with his right hand. My face flared red at his gesture. We just both laughed and continued getting dressed.

"Want me to complete myself with the face paint too?" I asked, facing him in my black and red Jade costume. A grin curled up his lips and he walked over to me. Taking my head in his hand, he placed his lips to mine before answering.

"Absolutely," he replied, smirking, "Except, I want to paint your face—and you can paint mine," I let out a nervous laugh. How was I supposed to paint his face the way he does? He always manages to make it look so messy. I was much more careful when applying my face paint—I tried to make it look nice. It made me nervous having him apply mine!

"Uh, okay," I chuckled as I took the white paint in my hand.

"You can go firssssttt," he coaxed, raising his eyebrows. He licked his lips again and then closed his eyes. I squirted out a decent amount of white paint and smeared it all over his face. Then I took the black paint and smudged it all over his eyes and around them. I nodded my head in approval of my work, but then I realized I had to still paint the red on his lips. Damn it! I wasn't sure how much he usually put on his lips and scars.

I tentatively took the red paint in my hand and blotted it onto his scars, followed by his lips. I took a step back from him to observe my work. I nodded in satisfaction. It wasn't a half bad job. He opened his eyes and glanced into the mirror. A wide grin crossed his face.

"Well done!" he giggled, and then turned to me, "now it's my turn," his voice was low. I gulped, a bit nervous for what he would do to my face. I followed his lead and closed my eyes. I heard him squeeze a tube of face paint and then felt the cold wetness as his fingers spread it across my face. I felt his fingers graze lightly over my eyes as the paint covered them. Finally, he reached my lips and lightly tapped the paint to them.

"Voila!" he exclaimed. I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror. The white paint was messily done, like his—but my eyes and my lips were different. He painted my eyes with the black and red—black on my lids and the red just above them. Finally, the biggest change, he used the black on my lips. It was a striking difference, but it worked. I smiled at him.

"I like it," I said.

"It's…perfect," he spoke, raising his eyebrows. I grinned back at him in satisfaction. I reached my hands out to grab a hold of him, but he held me at arms length. I frowned at his slight rejection.

"We can't delay the…surprise…any longer. I'm just too eager to see your face!" he exclaimed behind a cloud of giggles.

"This really better be worth everything," I retorted with a slight grin.

"Oh it will be—I promise. But first—we must go prepared," he said, raising a hand and then motioning for me to follow him through the rest of his apartment. He opened a drawer of 'supplies', I guess you could call it. He tossed me a 9mm gun, his peeler switch blade knife, and slid another 9mm into his jacket pocket. He then carefully removed two grenades and handed one to me.

I just held onto the weapons, completely unaware as to how to load myself with them. My expression must have left me obviously open for judgment; the Joker laughed as he stared at me.

"Here, like this," he chuckled as he placed the 9mm into the side of my pants. He slid the switchblade into the outside pocket of my jacket. Finally, he hooked up the grenade in the inside pocket of my jacket. I beamed up at him, glad to have him help me out in my moment of slight naivety. He smirked back at me and then fled through the kitchen to the window. I followed him down the fire escape and into the dark alley.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, huffing as I tried keeping up with his quick pace. He really was eager to give me my surprise. It was never an issue for me keeping up with him before—I guess he was just excited or I was horribly out of shape! I opted for first, but assumed it was probably the latter.

"It's all a surprise, Giada—you will remember…the place—but you will…love…what happens there," he snickered back at me, slightly slowing his pace, seeing how much further behind him I was lagging.

"Oh good. I can just imagine the good memories I'll after tonight is over," I mocked his enthusiasm. I had to admit, I was a bit skeptical of this surprise—there was so much built up on it now that I was beginning to prepare myself to be let down. I hated surprises that are built up to be amazing. My life motto: hope for the best, but expect the worst. I figured now would be a good time to uphold my life motto.

We twisted and turned down various alley ways in the darkness. I really hoped Bruce wasn't out tonight. I figured he probably was, but the last thing he needed tonight was to see me with the Joker—NOT in Arkham, but on the streets. I just knew if Bruce saw us he would turn in the Joker—and I would be left alone. Again. I loved Bruce, but his enthusiasm for justice against the Joker—the man I loved—was getting a bit ridiculous. I guess he did have good reason to hate him—setting up the murder of his beloved Rachael, but the Joker didn't actually kill her with his bare hands. I wanted to be there for my best friend, but I couldn't help but follow the Joker.

"Here…we…are," the Joker spoke, turning to me as we came to a halt. I had realized just how lost in my thoughts I was. I was surprised we made it in what felt like a short time. The expression on his face was priceless. He was literally, beaming with excitement and evil. I couldn't pin point why he looked so conniving, but I figured it was part of the plan—or the surprise rather.

"You look so evil. I really don't want to be disappointed by this, you know," I decided calling him out on his expression was better than being let down once we went inside the building.

"You'll be quite—satisfied—when we go inside, Giada—and do what we are about to do. This is the best surprise gift of all—especially for you," he hinted as he winked at me.

"If we ever have kids, remind me to never let you give them surprises," I muttered as I followed him into the building.

"Hm? What was that?" he asked, turning towards me and closing the door lightly behind us.

"Nothing. It was nothing," I lied, rolling my eyes. Not that it mattered. It was so dark inside the building we couldn't even see each other. Well, all we could see was the white of our face paint.

"This way," he whispered and pulled me along down a narrow hallway and then stopped at what appeared to be a door.

"When I open this door, we're going to go inside. When you feel it…necessary…pull out a weapon of your choice—and use it," he instructed.

"How will I know when and if I want to use a weapon?" I asked, getting nervous.

He giggled quietly, "Oh Giada—you're going to want to use them all as soon as we get through the door,"

"Okay," I hesitated for a moment. He reached his hand for the knob.

"Wait," I whispered.

"What?" he asked, a bit irritated. He didn't like stalling the surprise I guessed.

"If I freak out, don't judge me, okay? And maybe…give me some reinforcements or something?" I asked. He grinned and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I've got your back…Jade," he licked his lips and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Well, you can at least have the confidence of knowing if this goes over well, you're having a good time with me tonight when we are back at your place," I replied, licking my lips in return. He just raised his eyebrows again, leaned towards me and licked the very edge of my face.

"Let's go," he whispered finally, his voice low and sultry. I counted inside my head one, two three! He opened the door and a flood of light poured over him. He then dragged me into the light as he walked through the door way.

"You're back! I knew you'd escape!" a disgusting high pitched voice shrieked. I glanced up and saw Pixie darting across the room towards the Joker and I. She didn't even flinch as she saw me. She just bounded right into his open arms. I wanted to die. I frantically reached for my nearest weapon. This was my chance to finally cut the bitch. My heart was racing erratically. I couldn't even breathe anymore. I forgot how to breathe. I just wanted her dead. The only thought rushing through my brain was blowing her brains out of her head. Cutting her face. Shoving the grenade into her mouth and pulling the trigger. Any horrible and gruesome way I could eradicate her existence from this earth. I glanced over at the Joker, who was still holding tightly onto her tall, thin body. I wanted to puke. He glared down at me, as though mouthing to me to shoot her or something. I frantically fumbled for a weapon, but wasn't sure how to disconnect the grenade. It felt like it was stuck. Okay, next weapon—the gun. My stupid pants were too tight! It was stuck too. Fuck it. The blade. Shit. Where'd the blade go. I searched my pockets. I couldn't find it either. Fuckin'a!

Pixie stepped back from the Joker and glared down at me. I hated that she was taller than me by a good four inches.

"Well, look who you've brought back with you—if it isn't little Jade," she mocked. That was it. She called me little Jade. This bitch was gone.

"If you're gonna address me, bitch, you better fuckin' say my name—and 'little Jade' ain't it," I spat back at her angrily.

"Woo! She's feisty! I guess you like them like that, huh, dontcha J?" she asked, cutesy. "What, am I not feisty enough for you? You had to go back and find your little…harlequin side kick? What's wrong with having me around? You can't deny we've had fun together—all these years," she coaxed.

"Ha! Don't even begin to tell me that sap of a story!" I exclaimed, almost in hysterics, laughing. I knew her story with the Joker.

"Oh, so he told you about our…engagement?" she asked, reaching for his hand. He pulled it away from her and reached for his switchblade.

"Your engagement, right. The engagement that you apparently broke off because you were too perfect to be with someone that has war scars on their face. Real classy, whore,"

"Who are you calling 'whore'? Do you even know what that is, little girl?" she fought back.

"Don't even try testing me. I think you know better than me, the definition of whore. I could rightfully label you as such. Whore." I replied.

"J, are you really gonna let this clown talk to me like this?" Pixie turned to her Joker and placed her hands on her hips.

The Joker remained silent. He simply held up his switchblade and smiled back at her. He then glanced down at me and winked.

"He doesn't love you, you know. He never loved you—he's always loved me," Pixie spit fire at me.

"I'm not asking for him to love me. Regardless of how I feel for him, I don't have many requests of people in my life, but I do request that I be respected. You, however, have failed to respect me in so many ways I can't even count! First, despite my feelings for the Joker, I can't condone someone—anyone—breaking off an engagement to someone they once proclaimed their love for because of superficial markings obtained in a war! Second, you saw our relationship—whatever it was—and you took it from me. You had your chance, and you blew it. I'm not even saying that I had or even will be able to have his love, but I did have something that I valued and you took it from me. You made him lie to me—you made him lie to me about losing his memory of me—and that…that is something I cannot condone. You have disrespected me to the highest degree, and now you're gonna pay for it," I finally managed to wiggle the gun from my pants. I slowly raised the gun and pointed it at her face.

She took a step back and held up her hand, "wait a second, Jade," she said.

"You have ten seconds. Start pleading," I said flatly, knowing full well I was going to blow her head off regardless of anything she was about to say to me.

"I didn't tell him to lie to you—he did that all on his own. Be mad at him…not me," she shot a look of distress towards her former lover. He simply raised his switchblade and took a step closer towards her.

"Pixie, I've waited too long to do this—to put a smile on your face," he smiled at her a completely sadistic and twisted smile. He couldn't wait to cut her face. I couldn't wait to see him cut her face.

Suddenly, everything around me stopped—or at least it seemed to stop. All I could see in my mind was a flashback—not a flashback of anything I should remember, but rather, a flashback of another memory—one that belonged to someone else. It was as though I was remembering for them…

The Joker sat in a classroom. It looked like a biology class of some sort. His hair was a bit longer back then, and brown. Still curly. He whipped out a switchblade, spun it effortlessly in his hand and slammed it down into the dissection of the day. Across the room, I saw a blonde haired young girl staring at him, googley-eyed, with a perfectly dissected frog sitting in front of her. Pixie. The Joker, or, Jack, as he was back in those days, proceeded to turn on the lab station gas and light up his cigarette. Pixie continued staring at him in complete awe. Her big blue eyes, full of hope and excitement met his dark brown eyes. She smiled at him, but he just glanced away.

The haze broke off as the Joker took another step towards Pixie. He was holding onto the blade as vengeance burned in his eyes. I could tell he never quite got over the wound she cut into him. Now he was about to physically leave his wound on her. I was going to witness this. Or maybe I would shoot her before he got to her. Then, right as I was about to pull the trigger, she looked up at me, the same big blue eyes I saw her staring at the Joker in my vision. In that moment, I didn't want to kill her. She was just that stupid high school kid with a huge crush on the wrong guy. We'd all been there. I'd been there. Hell, I was living it! I was her! Except, I wasn't going to win the guy and fuck him over in the end over superficial details. She fucked up. She had her chance.

I raised the gun again, ready to pull the trigger.

"Please…Joker…don't do this—you can't," she pleaded, this time softly. She folded her arms about her body and glanced down at herself.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't blow your head off," I asked, forcefully, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Jack," she looked up at him. The Joker froze in his place. No one had called him by his name in years. I had known what it was, and we had talked about it, but I never called him Jack. That was taking it too far.

"That's it. Say good-bye, bitch," I responded angrily.

"Jack, I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

He and I stood in silence, frozen in place. I dropped my gun to my side. Say it ain't so! I bit my lip. I felt all of the blood flow from my face, leaving it white and numb. I shook my head.

"No---no you're not! Don't lie about shit like that!" I shrieked at her. I raised the gun again.

"You don't have to believe me. But if you shoot me, you'll be killing an innocent life as well," she stabbed back at me.

"Your problem, not mine. Maybe next time you'll wear a condom," I retorted, really pissed off now. I glanced over at the Joker. He was still frozen, not moving. I couldn't tell if he was livid or if he was actually running through each night he'd spent with her to see if it was actually possible that she was pregnant with his child.

"On the count of three—you're out of the game," I spoke through clenched teeth. Some surprise this was. So not worth it! I wanted to just kill her—not kill her as a pregnant witch! I didn't want to kill her if she was preggers, but I still wanted to kill her. I bet she wasn't even pregnant. But there was no way for me to find out. What was I going to do—hold her at gun point all the way down to the CVS to get a pregnancy test and then hold her at gunpoint until she peed on the stick? Hm...not a bad thought.

"Giada, please—put the gun down," the Joker said quietly finally. Where was his vengeance?! Where was his anger? Where was the agent of chaos?!

"Where's the chaos?! What, did your balls drop off?!" I shrieked at him. He glared at me.

"I'm not going to let you kill a pregnant woman, Giada—as much as I want her dead too, I can't let that happen. Even to a guy like me…that's cold," he explained, licking his lips.

"Say it ain't so!" I lamented, throwing my hand to my side, still clutching the gun.