I was always aware that leaving Winterfell was never going to be easy. Definitely not if we're leaving it to go to war. I was prepared for the difficulty. But nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for the utter chaos that was surrounding us now.

Not only did I have my son to take care of, but I apparently also had another child to take care of, in the form of my husband. Now, Robb knows many things, and he knows them well, but packing is not one of those things. After hours of discussion, I somehow managed to convince him to let me handle everything other than the horses, weapons and amour. I was always the loudest when it came to debating about gender equality, but in this case, I was more than happy to do the typical, "woman stuff" as my dear husband called it.

By the time the week was coming to an end, I was cursing the late King Robert for even taking us to visit Winterfell to begin with! If he had just listened to me in the first place, he would have probably been alive and well, and the North would be at peace. I, on the other hand, would probably be married to Renly. No matter what he would have done, it would end up with me cursing him.

And the preparations were very difficult. Unlike my husband, I did know what could be useful for us and what would be completely useless, but that was it. When it came to the amount of things that we will need, I was completely useless! Our numbers were constantly changing, since we had some late arrivals who decided to support us, even though they had not been a part of this new, Northern Kingdom. And it was obvious that we will join forces with Riverrun once we get there. Finally, I have decided that there was no such thing as too much in the time of war.

Even though Eddard decided to hand over the title to Robb, he was still the one in charge, unofficially. And no one complained about that, especially not Robb. Countless times, I was thankful for his wisdom and the one of his Lady wife, but never before like I was now. He, unlike his son, actually fought a war. And Catelyn, unlike me, knew very well what it was like to wait for a husband in anticipation. We needed them more than ever before, and we were not ashamed of it. If only Ned could come with us… but he can't. And if I am to leave my son here, for someone to keep him safe, there is no one I trust more do that than Lord Eddard Stark.

And, since one of them is here, we needed the other one on the road with us. Catelyn was needed, and she, much like myself, had to leave her children too.

Now, that was the actual difficult part. Sansa never would have even thought of joining us. Even though she might wish to be with us, she knows that she will be of no help on the road. As did Bran. That boy grew up so much since I met him, I cannot find the words to describe it. As much as it pains me to say, if something happens to Robb, I am glad to know that Winterfell and the whole North for that matter, would be in good hands. Bran is a smart one. And mature, unlike his younger brother, and, of course, the frequent troublemaker, Arya.

Rickon is still very much a child, and it was understandable to see how desperate he was to join us. He was so determined to go that I was scared we might find him hidden in one of the carriages on our way South. I have no idea how he did it, but Eddard convinced him that it is better that he stays.

And Arya was a handful. No, even worse. She led me to the point of thinking that facing dragons will be easier than to convince her to stay behind. And I could understand, I really could. Not only is her brother going, but so is her mother, and me, and her other brother. And like all of that wasn't enough, Gendry was leaving too. I imagined what it would be like for me if someone told me that I have to let Robb go himself. I never would have done it.

The whole Arya situation is still left for me and Gendry to fix, and I will see to it today. But now I need to talk to my brother first.

For some strange, unknown reason, there still was no word from King's Landing. I had suspected that Joffrey would have already declared us traitors and asked for our heads, but as far as we know of, he did no such thing. And I can only imagine it's because of the more imminent danger, called the true Baratheons. Both Stannis and Renly are closer to them than we are. But we are not that far either.

Sadly, that is not the only problem. We all know Joffrey is no leader. If he were to face our worse warrior in combat, he would be dead in seconds. And he will not march at us, no matter what. I know it, Robb knows it, everyone in Westeros knows it. He has no army, he doesn't have enough money, and he has no experience. And the one man, the one man, who has all of that, is father.

I wasn't scared because Joffrey didn't yet decide to punish us all and have our heads enhancing the beauty of King's Landing. No, that did not scare me at all. For all I know, they didn't even tell the stupid boy that we have declared independence. With his temper, Gods only know what he would do. He might even kill Cersei or something that stupid and impulsive.

Not having any response from Lord Lannister was what scared me. I lived with him, the man is my father, whether I like to admit that or not. I know him. I know the way he thinks. No, I cannot guess what will his next move be, but I can do my best and suspect. And I was almost certain that he would have said something by now. I half expected to get a letter from him, telling me to calm things down, or cursing me to the deepest pits of hell. And yet, there was nothing. Not a single word.

Lord Eddard and Robb didn't think much about it. It is not actually common for two fighting sides to communicate over hand written letters. But Tyrion and I knew better. We might not know war, but we do know Lord Tywin. And if he didn't declare to me that he will kill me himself and feed my guts to the wild animals, then, I can only suspect he plans to do that sooner than I would prefer him to.

While they may have kept the truth from Joffrey, they couldn't keep it from lord father, I know that. He knows, he knows very well. He knows I'm the Queen in the North, and that Tyrion is right by my side.

"Elisa?" I called and she turned around." Could you oversee this? I need to speak with Tyrion." I said.

"Of course." She said, with a bow. I raised my eyebrows, but she pretended like I didn't do anything. She still wasn't used to calling me Elena. And I'm not going to give up until I'm just Elena to her again.

I got Rickard form the cradle, and I went to see my brother. Considering that the hours I get to spend with my son are counted I was spending every single moment with him. It's hard, not knowing whether I will ever return to him, see him grow and become his father's son. But at least he will get a chance to do that. At the end of the day, this war isn't just revenge. It isn't just about honor and about defending it. It is for giving our children, and their children, and their children and the generations after that, a good place to live in. As long as a Lannister sits on the throne, Westeros will not be a good place. And I say that as someone who was born a Lannister.

I walked with Rickard in my arms, and I was holding him with one hand in order to knock on the door. Once Tyrion told me to come in, I clumsily did so, and thankfully, we didn't fall.

I was surprised to see Sansa here. Actually, I was so surprised that I didn't even have a chance to try and hide my surprise. And I am told that staring is even more rude for a Queen than it was for a Lady.

"I apologize for my interruption." I said, trying to hide my surprise at least now. But they saw right through me, and it didn't take me long to drop the act." If it's something important, I can wait, but I wish to speak to you Tyrion." I said. I was giving them a choice. I can go on and do my work, and wait for them to finish their conversation. I was not being the Queen my sister used to be. She never failed to put herself first, and I, unlike her, remember very well that we are all human. We are all human, and when we all die, we will all still be the same. Rotten flesh, bones, and later on, nothing more than dust. My father and my sister might have their gold, but their bones are not made of it. We will all be dust in the end. I never forget that. Maybe that is why people believe I will be a good Queen.

"I'll leave you to it Your Grace." Sansa said, and I didn't hide how unpleasant it made me feel." I'm sorry. Elena." She said, and I smiled gratefully. I can barely live by the common folk calling me Your Grace. The last thing I want is for a family member to do so. Especially the one who is more a Queen than I'll ever be. I might be married to a Northerner, but I wasn't born here. Sansa has more North in her than I ever will. And to her, and the rest of the family, I wish to be nothing more than Elena.

"Thank you Sansa." I said with a smile. She ruffled Rickard's hair as she was walking past us. Catelyn has said that he looks almost exactly like Robb when he was a baby. That thought always made me smile.

"Let me hold my nephew." Tyrion said with a smile, not even looking at me, but at Rickard. I handed him over with a smile on my face. Other than myself and Jaime, Myrcella and Tommen were the only family members who loved Tyrion. Cersei and father were always ashamed of him. Jaime had always had a strange way of showing his affection, but he did love him. Joffrey hated him, but Joffrey hated everyone other than himself, so that was never a surprise. To me, Tyrion was the light in the dark. And I remember, with a smile on my face, how much Myrcella and Tommen enjoyed his company and his jokes. Unlike their older brother, they had kindness in them. It pains me to think that they might lose this war, just as much as their mother might. Whenever I feel bad about that, which is more often than I would like to admit, I remind myself that they will not be on the battlefield, and that Robb isn't vicious. If we survive, and they survive too, they will not be punished for their parent's mistakes.

"I need to speak to you about something." I said as I was taking the seat Sansa occupied moments ago.

"Oh, you and your worry." Tyrion complained, and I smiled." Elena, it's simple. We will either win, or lose. We will either live, or die. Either way, it will be much better than it is now." He said.

"You're not a parent Tyrion." I said flatly, almost hurt by his words." You are not in love. I am. I am in love with my husband. We have a boy. We have a family. I don't give a rat's ass about my own life. I only wish for them to live. It's not that simple as it seems to you." I said.

"Well, when you put it like that…" he said, and I nodded." What do you wish to speak of?" he asked.

"Tywin Lannister." I said, and he nodded. It is obvious that I am not the only one who was thinking about him." I am surprised he hasn't done something by now." I said.

"Like what?" Tyrion asked.

"Sent a letter? Come here himself too skewer me like a lamb for supper?" I asked, and Tyrion smiled.

"He might not be a kind man, but he is smart. If he had tried to do so, he will be dead before he even lays eyes on you." He said, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, Tyrion will make a joke about it.

"You know very well what I meant." I said, and he nodded. He was using his humor to hide his worry. Unlike me, he is not an open book." This is not like him. And I am starting to get worried." I said.

"Only starting?" he asked. Now he's taken it too far.

"Tyrion, I'm being serious." I said and the anger was clear in my voice. For the first time since I became a Queen, I have sounded like one." You know I love you with all my heart, but now is not the time for humor and jokes. If we survive this, feel free. But not now." I said. It almost sounded like a threat. But it wasn't that. It could never be that. My brother knows that I could never do him harm.

"Are you really that worried because he didn't threaten you yet?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Yes, yes I am. And it is not just that. We know him Tyrion. You and I, both. He would have said something by now. It frightens me that he is changing his usual tactics." I admitted.

"Because we might know what he will do next?" he asked, and I nodded." I hate to admit, but it does make sense." He said. Oh, he finally realizes that this is not the time for jokes!

"He is a good leader. He knows war. But he has never fought his own. No, I do not think that he considers Robb family. Of course he doesn't. His daughter was married to the King, and he did not look at him like family, let alone this Northern savage I'm married to." I said, and Tyrion smiled. He knows very well what I mean by it. I still haven't forgotten the kind words Cersei had for the family that I am now part of. And to this day, they haven't done a single thing to make me think that they are any less civilized that the Lannisters. On the contrary, really." But he knows we are here. We might not know him like our other siblings do, but we know him. And I am afraid he thought of that." I said.

"Even if he did, it doesn't change anything." He said, and I raised my eyebrows." It all comes down to the fight. He can only change the way he acts, not the way he fights. Just because he hasn't warned us that he will try to kill us himself doesn't mean he won't do that. Let me tell you something little sister." he said, and he looked more serious than I have ever seen him." Your husband may be fighting this war. And both of Robert's brothers may be fighting this war. But let me tell you, no one, no one more than you and I has a bigger target on their back. He wants them all dead, but no one more than you and I."

I knew it. Of course I did. I know my father, and I know that our betrayal is the worst part of this whole story. He is not hurt. He is enraged, angry and bloodthirsty. I knew it all along, but hearing Tyrion actually say that out loud send shivers down my spine.

"Do you think we'll die?" I asked. He was the only one that I could ask this question. I have asked Robb, but he would always turn it to a joke. He never thought I was serious. And I pretended like I wasn't. But I was serious now, and Tyrion knew it. He is the only one whose answer wouldn't scare the life out of me. I am not sure why. He will speak the truth, just as much as Robb or anyone else would.

"No. I honestly think we'll survive this." He said, and I nodded. He would never lie to me, not about this. And I grew up next to him. I can tell when he lies, and he is not lying now." I think we are on the winning side. And I think your husband and his father are the ones who should never bend the knee again."

"I hope you're right." I whispered." We have too much to lose." I said. I didn't get to hear his response, because we were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Come in." Tyrion said. These are his chambers after all. To our surprise, it was Maestar Luwin.
"My apologies Your Grace, My Lord." He said, and I got up on my feet. I didn't know the man for my whole life, but I knew him well enough to see that something was wrong.

"What is it Maestar?" I asked him, not even bothering to tell him not to call me Your Grace.

"There's been a raven Your Grace." He said, and he handed me the scroll. There was no sign on it.

"Has Robb seen it? Lord Stark, Lady Stark?" I asked, surprised that he decided to show it to me first. I suppose that I should get used to it.

"It has your name written on it, Your Grace. I brought it directly to you." He said, and I turned the scroll, to see Elena Lannister written on it. I recognized the writing at once.

"My old name." I said, and I sighed." It's from our brother." I said. Both Tyrion and the Maestar were surprised, but not as much as I was. I thought I made it clear to him when I left King's Landing.

"Well, open it!" Tyrion said, and I did just that. It was short, but it said more than enough.

Elena,

Stop this at once, I beg of you.

This will not end well, and I do not want to see something happen to you.

Make your husband drop the whole "King in the North" thing. If you continue this, I will have to fight you. I wouldn't mind taking Robb Stark's head, but I do mind taking your husband's head.

Stop it Elena, I beg of you.

Jaime.

"What does it say?" Tyrion asked, and I shook my head.

I walked over to the desk, and I found a piece of paper, and a quill. I did not waste my time on common courtesies, or kind words for that matter. I just wrote one sentence, and that one sentence held more meaning than a whole page could hold.

In that case, he might bring me your head.

"Maestar, send this to King's Landing at once. To Jaime Lannister." I said, and I handed him the piece of paper." He asks of me to stop Robb. And he says he will give me his head. I might have suggested something slightly different." I said, speaking both to Tyrion and Maestar." After you do that Maestar, please, call for Robb. And Lord and Lady Stark. They will want to hear of this." I said, and he nodded.

"Yes, Your Grace." He said, and he left us. Tyrion was still holding Rickard, and I was shaking. Not out of fear, but out of rage. How dare he? How dare he?!

"I suppose father send his message over Jaime, if you read between the lines." He said once he read Jaime's letter than I handed him.

"I suppose he does." I whispered. Anger has completely taken over me. Until now, I wished for this all to end as soon as possible. Now, something's changed." To hell with them all. If they want to play the game, we'll play it. I'll play it. I've been too kind for too long."

"Remember what they say. Well, what Cersei says. There is no middle ground." Tyrion warned me.

"I don't need middle ground. He promises to give me my husband's head? Then I won't shed a tear when my husband gives me his. I don't need middle ground for this Tyrion. They've started it, and we will end it. I promise you that." I whispered, looking at my brother and my son. We will do this for them, we will do this for us. We will do what has to be done.

On the road in the next chapter. It's safe to say, and pardon my language, shit just got real :)

Review guys, I need more feedback! :D