Ok guys, I'm going to start this one with a big thank you for all of you who stayed on this journey so far. To love and to fight is not coming to an end, not just yet. That brings me to the second part. The apology. I am so incredibly sorry. I kept you waiting and I failed myself in so many ways. I just didn't have the time. I work six days a week, 8 hours a day, and that one day of I get, I use to teach English. Between the work, the studying and the teaching, I barely had time to breathe. And now I come to the third part. , Daybreak96, babiluv22, AnnieAC, and all of the rest of you that I didn't name, thank you for everything. And last, but not least, thank you to BGio89, for the message that reminded me that this story is not just done yet. Thank you guys, thank you all, and once again, I'm sorry. I will be updating as soon as possible, and for what it's worth, I'll start the next chapter tonight. Thank you. Love you all. Ana.
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"Arya, I am sorry." I said, for the hundredth time. And she still didn't see it. She still didn't see that we are doing this for her own good. She prefers to think that Robb, her parents, Jon, Gendry and I have some sort of pact or a deal to do exactly the opposite of what she wants to do. She might have a good and kind heart, but for some things, Arya is still no more than a child who doesn't want to grow up.
"I can help Elena, you know that." she said, still convinced that she should go with us. I sighed, not knowing what to do. I do not wish for her to get angry with me, but if she continues, I might as well say anything in order to make her change her mind. Even if that meant she'll be angry with me." I know how to sword fight, you saw me. I can help." She insisted. And I don't know what to do.
"Yes, you are good with a sword. You've seen me with a sword, haven't you?" I asked, and she nodded. I could see in her face that she has no idea where I'm going with this. And to be honest, neither did I." And would you say I am good with a sword? Would you say that I should fight, that I could be a fair opponent to a Knight?" I asked.
"Yes, I would. You are good with a sword, and you could kill a knight." She said, and I nodded.
"I probably could. But you know what? I won't. I have told you once, when we were still friends and not family. I've told you, that a time comes, when things change. When you grow up. See, I will go on the road. I will not be in the field, fighting and killing. Do you know why? Because I will be waiting for Robb. I will be waiting for him. To congratulate and support him if he returns and to be in grief if he doesn't. And I am going because I am needed when it comes to strategy. Your brother is a warrior, but I was born a Lannister. And that is why they need me, and that is why I will help. Now, a part of me might wish I was right beside my husband, fighting with him for the freedom of the North. But I will not do it. See, I may be good with a sword, but I am better with words. And I will be there where I'm most needed. As will you. I will leave my son tomorrow. Jon will leave his father tomorrow, Gendry will leave you tomorrow. But we will come back. As long as we have something to come back to, we will fight and hope and wish to come back. And like I am needed there, you are needed here. You need to be that something we wish to come back to. That is your role in this Arya, and it is just as important as mine, as your mother's, as Robb's, or as anyone else's. We do what we must. And if you are so determined on using a sword, than you will be the one who protects my son if we don't make it." I said.
I am good with words. Or I will be, if I manage to convince her that it is best that she stays here. Judging by the look on her face, she sees it now. My words might have worked.
"I don't want you to go Elena." She whispered." I don't want any one of you to go, but mostly, I don't want you. You know it. You know that bad things happen when you go. Bad things happen when you leave me." She said. I remember that. It seems to me that it was in another life, and not just two years ago when I left to go hunting, and Bran was pushed of the tower. Afterwards, I left for Casterly Rock, and Arya almost lost her father. I remember clearly, when I returned, how she said what she said now.
"Arya, I have to. And I promise you, nothing bad will happen now. We'll break that curse. Your father is here, and he will protect you from anything. Men, animals, dragons, you name it. And stop thinking that we won't be back, because when we return, we'll have a wedding to plan, won't we?" I asked with a big smile on my face. My smile grew even bigger when she blushed. But she still did not smile.
"What if you don't come back?" She asked.
"I always come back. That is also something that happens whenever I leave." I said, and finally, I made her laugh." We will all be back. And do not dare and worry about Gendry. He will be more than fine." I reassured her. After hours of debating, both with and without him, Robb and I have decided that he probably won't be fighting. He may know how to use a sword, be he has never been in a battle before. He's never killed a man, and we wish for that to stay that way. And unlike me, he doesn't have a whole other army marching to kill him. Well, neither do I, considering that there is no news about an army going towards us. But we know better. As soon as we take a step out of the gates of Winterfell, they will know. And they will fight back. Once they do, the real trouble starts. And that is not something I will tell Arya. She doesn't need that, not when she's staying here.
"You promise you will come back?" she asked, and I nodded.
"I promise. One way, or another, we will come back." I said. She knows what I mean. We may try to survive, but that does not guaranty that we will. And she knows that. But we will return. The question is, will we return alive and well, or will we be just bones in a wooden box, waiting to be laid to rest?
We never said the word goodbye. After I have promised her what I did, we just hugged, and after a while, I left the room, not saying another word. I have already said goodbye to Sansa and Rickon. We will speak once more with Eddard before we leave, so now, I'm only left with Bran.
And saying goodbye to Bran will probably be the most difficult thing. I gave Arya hope. Sansa knew very well what we have to do and why we have to do it, and Rickon is too young to know what is actually happening. Bran isn't. Bran is old enough to know, and while he might understand, and while he might have hope, he keeps his distance. That is why I have delayed my goodbyes with him. Until now, when I know I cannot delay it any longer.
I hesitated with my hands on the door of Bran's chambers. I have to do it. I might as well just do it now.
"Bran? Am I interrupting you?" I asked, peeking into the chambers. He was on his bed, and since he just put it down, I presume he was reading a book.
"Of course not. Come in." he said. I gave him a weak smile, and I walked into the chambers. As I turned around to close the door behind me, I took a deep breath. When I was face to face with him again, I could see that his expression has changed. I suspect mine did too." You're leaving today?" he asked.
"Tonight." I corrected him, and the only response I got was a nod of his head." I don't want to tell you stories Bran." I said as I sat down on the end of his bed." You know very well that we will do our best to return, to come back to all of you."
"I do. I also know that you might not return, might not come back." He said, and I smiled.
"You always were incredibly smart." I said in a low voice, and finally, I got a smile from him. A very small one, but a smile none the less." This is war Bran. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, you will still have to pay a certain price. The winner pays a lesser one. But when you think about it, if you have lost the ones you love, do you really need a victory?" I asked, more myself than him.
"If that is true, then why fight?" He asked. I was blindsided by his question." If the greatest treasure that we have are our loved ones, why risk their lives with a fight? Why not let your family live in peace?"
"First of all, you are my family." I corrected him. I am not insulted, but I am not exactly happy with having to remind him that the Starks are more of a family to me than the Lannisters ever were." Second of all… give me a moment, please." I said, desperate to have a chance to sort out my thoughts. Why are we doing this? Did Bran just ask the most important question of them all?" We are doing this because it is the right thing to do. My nephew shouldn't be the King. My family should pay for the things they have done. This is not… it is not pure revenge Bran. Or a desperate desire for blood. When you think about it, there really is no other choice. Not if we wish to do the right thing." I said.
"It's always the Starks." He said." We always do the right thing."
"Someone has to." I said, and he smiled." Ugh, I'm going to miss you little one." I said, and before he got a chance to escape me, I locked him in a tight hug." Look after your nephew. I know I'm leaving him in good hands, but take care of him." I said.
"Always." He confirmed with a smile. We hugged for a little while, and then I left. Once again, without using the word goodbye.
I was so overwhelmed with the conversations that I had to lead today that I almost forgot about the most important thing I have to do today. I have to say goodbye to my son. And even though I know he won't be talking back, that will be the most difficult conversation I will have today.
But it will have to wait. Now, Robb and I have to talk to Ned and Catelyn. Out last council before we leave.
I ran into Robb in the hallway, and we continued together, without saying a word. Silent, but hand in hand. Because there is no chance in hell that either one of us could do this without the other.
Mostly, we talked about the strategy. We were avoiding the emotional parts for as long as we could. And it is going very well, since there is a lot for us to deal with.
"Someone has to say it." Catelyn said, and we all looked at her." How in the name of Gods are we going to pay for this war?" She asked.
"We can cover it." Ned said.
"Not if something unexpected happens. And I have a feeling it might." Robb said.
"Well, I think you need to follow me." I said, and I got up on my feet." I have something to show you." I said once they didn't stand up with me. They realized that I was serious, and got up at once. We were going through the hallways, a bit slower than usual, because of Ned's leg." I believe I've got the payment part under control." I said as we were walking into the chambers that used to be mine by title, and that are now Rickard's. I didn't wait for them, but I got down on my knees and pulled out a trunk from under the bed. I didn't open it, but I pulled out one more trunk. Then, I stopped." I have seven more trunks." I said, and then, I opened one of the trunks. It was filled with gold, from top to bottom. I could see the surprise on their faces." Well, I used to be a Lannister. And believe me, this is just a small portion. No one ever noticed it." I said. They were all looking at me in complete surprise.
"You robbed your father before you left?" Robb asked in a low voice, but I could see a hint of a smile.
"No. It just… gathered through the years. Jaime had his armors, Cersei had her dresses, Tyrion had his wine and whores, and I had nothing. So I just… kept it. I suppose I had a feeling I would need it once. And I suppose I was right." I said with a smile.
"Elena, you are one smart girl." Eddard said, and all I could do was smile.
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For a while, I couldn't understand why we were starting out journey in the middle of the night. Soon enough, my father will find out. It doesn't really make a difference if he finds out now, or in the morning. So I couldn't understand why are we making things more difficult by leaving in the dead of night. But now, only moments before our departure, I could understand.
Arya had fallen asleep in the hallway. She had a plan to say goodbye to us, or maybe even sneak out with us. But now, she will never get a chance. And if we don't return, her last memory will be our hugs, and not our backs as we were riding away.
Robb and I were alone in our chambers, standing over Rickard, who was sleeping peacefully in his cradle. We were looking only at him, and not at each other. In the months, maybe even years to come, we will be seeing plenty of each other, and on the other hand, we both fear that we might forget the face of our son.
Am I a horrible mother? Am I even worse than Cersei? After all, she never left her children's side.
"I will never be able to forgive myself if you never see him grow up." Robb said in a low voice.
"Me? Both of us are supposed to see him grow up. Not just me." I whispered.
"Of course, but you in particular. If there was a chance for me to do this without you, I would do it. But I need your help." He said.
"And here I thought you couldn't handle being away from me." I joked.
"I would barely manage to do so, but if I had to choose… you would stay with him."
"To tell you the truth, I would probably choose the same. But there is no choice. Just one path, and we are both taking it."
"If we fail, at least we will fail together." He said, and he kissed the back of my hand.
"Oh, shut up." I whispered with a smile on my face. I kissed my son's forehead, and I slowly started walking away from him. The pain was not just an emotional pain. My chest is actually hurting.
"This is the right thing Elena." Robb said. I wasn't sure if he is reassuring me, or himself, but I didn't question him." No matter what, he will live. Even if you and I both die, father will keep him alive." he said, and I nodded. There was always that plan. If we lose the war, Rickard will be long gone from Winterfell, even before my father thinks to kill my only child. And even if it calmed me, it was a last resort.
"I can't." I whispered with tears in my eyes." Let's just walk away. If I stay another second, I'll never leave his side." I said. Robb put his hand on my shoulders and he walked me out of the room. There were tears in his eyes too. He might have a strong exterior, but I know very well that on the inside, he feels just as bad as I do.
I repeated to myself that this is the best for my son. I was still repeating that as I mounted the horse. the entire army was already marching and riding, only Robb, Gendry, Tyrion, Jon, Catelyn and I remained, as well as about a 100 soldiers that were our guards for the night.
Ned was the only one who was still awake. And that was for the best.
I waited as he said goodbye to his wife and son, and then he approached me.
"Please, take care of him." I said as he petted the horse I was on.
"And you of him." He said, and I nodded, knowing very well what he meant with that." I trust the two of you, Elena. I trust Catelyn too. If anyone can do this, it's the three of you."
"I hope you are right Lord Stark." I whispered.
"Ned." He corrected me, once again, with a smile." Farewell Elena."
"Farewell Ned." I said with a smile, and only moments later, we were riding.
Riding away from Winterfell and from a pretty large part of my family. I did not dare and look behind. I know very well what I'm leaving. I do not need to look at that. As long as I don't turn around, there is a chance I won't change my mind before it's too late.
I have my brother with me. I have Catelyn, who is the only mother I ever knew. I have Gendry and Jon, my friends who I see as brothers. And I have Robb. Always, I always have Robb.