Chapter Twenty-one

It was as if Jon and Sansa's lips were unable to be separated. Sansa wound her arms around his neck and Jon moaned and pulled her against him, running his hand down her back and then rested it on the small of her back.

"Jon, um, you'll have to excuse me but Sansa and I were on our way to celebrate and you're interrupting that."

Sansa and Jon broke their kiss and looked at Margaery who looked completely serious. Then she started to laugh. "I'm kidding! The looks on your faces is just brilliant. Listen, I am sure you two have a lot of talking to do…if you can stop kissing long enough to do it, so I will see you later, little dove." She patted Jon on the back and said, "As you were."

Sansa felt her cheeks redden and she buried her face in Jon's shoulder.

"Goodbye, Margaery, and thank you," Jon said politely. Then he kissed Sansa's shoulder, her neck, and then her ear. "She's gone."

Sansa looked up at him and placed her hands on either side of his face, the fact that she knew so well but felt and looked so different to her now. Jon leaned in closer until they were in the same breathing space. "What are you thinking?" he asked softly.

"I'm thinking 'oh my God I was just kissing Jon'," she said and took her hands away from his face.

He looked nervous now. "But it's a good thing, right?"

She nodded.

"Get a room!" someone shouted.

Jon scowled over Sansa's shoulder and she laughed out of embarrassment. Jon moved so that he was beside her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and said, "Why don't we go back to my room so we can talk?"

She nodded again. "Okay."

xxxxxx

Sansa didn't know what to think. One minute she wasn't kissing Jon and then the next minute she was. It felt rather surreal. Her whole relationship with him had changed so drastically in the course of a few minutes. Or was it since last night? That, plus making the cut for the show – she rather felt as though she was outside of herself.

"Are you okay?" Jon asked her once they were in the elevator alone together.

He looked so nervous now, as though he was afraid she…she what? Would stop kissing him? Would tell him this was all a mistake? Sansa wasn't sure. But he had serious Jon face again and she wanted him to go back to smiling so she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

He turned his face to hers, his gaze heated. "Can I kiss you again?"

She nodded and then he was devouring her, pushing her back against the wall of the elevator. The bell chimed, the doors opened, and Jon pulled back, looking as dazed as she felt.

He led her to his room, taking her hand in his and smiling down at their entwined hands. He was so adorable. What did all this mean? He looked like he was working up to something important. What was he going to tell her – just that he liked her as more than a friend? That was obvious now wasn't it? Did she like him as more than a friend?

Well, duh, she thought to herself. She definitely liked kissing him that was for sure. She loved Jon – as in, she loved him as a person, loved him because he was her best friend and he was her constant, her rock, her everything.

Was she in love with him? On that, she wasn't quite sure…mainly because she'd never been in love before so she didn't know what it felt like. People always said that she would just know. So in not knowing did that mean she wasn't?

"You've got that crease between your brows that you get when you're in deep thought," he said as he unlocked his dorm room door. "What are you thinking?"

"So many things."

"Like?" he asked and faced her.

"Um, why don't you go first? You look like you have something to say."

He pushed the door open to his room and stood aside to let her in.

His room no longer smelled of alcohol and, she noticed, he'd picked it all up from the night before. Good thing, too. If she even smelled tequila she might retch again.

She sat down on his bed and looked up at him expectantly.

He stood there, hands at his sides, looking awkward and uncomfortable. And adorable. And she really liked the appearance of the white t-shirt he was wearing.

"I like the shirt," she told him.

"I love you," he said.

She blinked. "Do you say that to everybody who likes your shirt?"

He shook his head and raked a hand through his hair. "No, Sansa, I mean… I'm in love with you."

She hadn't been expecting that. She'd thought more along the lines of 'hey, I'm kinda into you so you wanna go out on a date?' She hadn't been prepared for an actual 'I'm in love with you.'

Now he looked worried. "You look shocked."

"I am," she admitted. "I didn't expect that."

"Do you – I mean – is it something that maybe you like hearing or do you hate it? Do you want me to take it back?"

Now she was confused. "Is that something you can just take back?"

"Well, no…"

"Then why did you offer to take it back?"

"Because I don't want you uncomfortable around me now. I don't want you to…go away."

"You'd think I'd go away?"

"I don't really know, Sansa, because you're not giving me anything to work with here." Now he sounded frustrated.

She stood and held up her hands in an 'okay, relax' gesture. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just need a few to catch up. We went from bff's to kissing in a manner of seconds."

"We're still best friends. And we kissed last night."

"That doesn't count. We were drunk."

"It counted to me."

"Well…" she sighed. "You were obviously sitting on…" she gestured to him. "Feelings. Feelings that I didn't know about last night. I just literally became abreast of them." She held up a finger. "And, while we're speaking of breasts, you had your hand on my boob this morning, Mr. I-Won't-Feel-You-Up-While-You're-Sleeping."

He rolled his eyes. "Sansa, I was sleeping. I wasn't aware—"

"Jon, unclench. I'm teasing you."

He looked downright frustrated. "I'm finding it hard to unclench when I have no idea what you're thinking or feeling right now! I just put myself out there and told you how I felt and you're stalling and making jokes!"

"I'm sorry," she said and stepped toward him. She took his hand in both of hers. "I'm sorry. No one's ever told me they're in love with me. I'm just trying to process that."

"Could you process it a little faster?"

"I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Tell me what you want me to say."

"Ideally I'd like to hear that you love me too, but I don't think you do. At least not yet anyway."

She felt terrible now. "I've never been in love, Jon. I don't know what it feels like."

He gripped her hand hard. "It's the most terrifying, awful, wonderful, and joyous feeling in the world."

"Well…I got terrified."

"Tell me why."

"No, first I want to know what you want to…do. I mean – you want to date, right?"

He nodded. "Yes. I want to date you."

"Well, it would get really awkward if you dated someone else while you're in love with me…"

He grinned, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I want to be with you, Sansa. I don't want to be with anyone else, and I don't you to be with anyone else. Does that sound like something that you might be interested in?"

"Yeah, and that is what's terrifying."

"Why?"

"Because what if it doesn't work out and I lose you?" She was the one that was worried now. "I can't lose you, Jon."

He pulled her into his arms then and held her. She placed her chin on his shoulder. "Sshhh, Sansa, no. You won't, sweetheart. You won't ever lose me."

"You say that now, but one day I could really piss you off or do something unintentional to hurt you and you could decide you're done with me."

"No," he murmured.

"You can't promise something like that. No one can."

"You're right, no one can promise that. But that doesn't mean we don't take a chance because something might happen. I could walk out of here and I might get hit by a bus. That doesn't mean I don't leave my dorm," right?"

"The chances of a bus being directly outside your dorm—"

"Sansa."

"Sorry. I'm terrible at this."

He pulled back and looked at her, putting one hand on the side of her face. "Sansa, are you attracted to me?"

She reddened and smiled coyly. "Are you fishing for compliments again?"

He grinned. "I told you a girl likes to hear nice things." And then he kissed her and kissed her until she was clinging to him and moaning.

"So," he breathed, when he broke the kiss. "Are you?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I like kissing you. And looking at you. And being with you…"

He made a sound that almost sounded like a whimper. "I like all those things with you, too. I want our friendship and I want the right to kiss you…touch you. Is that something you might like to try, Sansa?"

She broke into a slow smile. "Yes. When do we start?"

He smiled. "Right now." Her stomach growled and Jon laughed. "Well, I guess this is a good time to go on our first date. Shall I take you out and feed you?"

She made a face. "To the cafeteria? That doesn't really sound all first date-y." He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "On second thought, though, maybe that's not a bad thing. I get all nervous on dates. I don't want to be nervous around you."

"Why would you all of a sudden be nervous around me?"

She ducked her head placed her forehead on his shoulder. "Because I see you differently now. You're not just Jon anymore. You're something else now."

He lifted her face to his with the tip of his finger. "I know what you mean. You're the same except different, but you're still my Sansa and I'm still your Jon."

With her head on his shoulder, she reached up and ran her hand along the side of his face like a caress. She liked touching him. He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm and then placed her hand over his heart. "I want to take you out, and not to the cafeteria," he said huskily. "I want to be alone with you for a while, and away from this campus. Does that sound like something you might like?"

"Ooh, maybe we could go to the grocery store and get some food for a picnic?" she asked excitedly. "We could go down to the beach."

He smiled. "I'd like that."