K I know I said I would wait for episodes to come out so that I could make them perfectly accurate but I just couldn't resist. The last episode left me feeling so sad and unsatisfied with Deeks and Kensi's relationship so I had to write this even if something like this doesn't happen I wish it would. Enjoy!
….
Kensi was strong, she was tough. But she was human after all. It was not beneath her to let words eat her alive. And right now, that was exactly what was happening. Every time she glanced over at him, those words came back, haunting her. She hadn't thought much of it at the time, but a night alone had been enough time for them to truly bite into her.
You know what it is? I just kept looking at him thinking 'that could be me on his side of the table one day.
Deeks that's the game he was playing that is exactly how he wants you to feel.
I get that. But it doesn't mean its not true.
And I would never let that happen to you.
Right. The only problem being that you would be the reason it happened in the first place.
How could she allow herself to be consumed by that conversation. She knew she had to say something, anything, or it would kill her.
She finally got her opportunity that night. She and Deeks were the last left in the bullpen, a situation not uncommon these days.
Several times she was about to speak, but she found herself unable to. She needed to do this, she needed to tell him what his words had meant to her, she needed to tell him that when he gave her father's knife back to her, it felt like he had driven it through her heart instead.
"You wanna say something Kensalina?" he said suddenly, though he did not look up from his work.
She was slightly caught off guard, and cleared her throat nervously.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I can practically feel your tension and frankly its giving me a headache. Come on, out with it."
She was surprised further still, this was the way she spoke to him, not the other way around. But he had forced her to speech, and she took her opportunity.
"Yes, actually Deeks, I would like to talk to you about something."
Now he looked up.
"Oh?"
"It's, um, its about what you said yesterday actually. That, um, that I would be the reason you would be behind the table. I just I dunno…"
He just looked at her.
"I'm bad with words Deeks but after, after Afghanistan I can talk now, I have to talk now or I'll loose you. Deeks it's true, I may be the reason you'll be behind that desk, but look me in the eye right now and tell me you don't think if come after you, tell me it wouldn't be worth it because, because –
"Because that's what love is," he finished.
"Because that's what love is," she repeated.
They stood there in silence for a moment, simply staring into each other's eyes, both understanding and concern flowing freely between them.
Kensi broke the silence, but did not break eye contact.
"You once said that you would go to the ends of the earth for the one thing you cared about above all else. Were you telling the truth?"
He sighed. He knew what she meant; he knew what she was trying to say without really saying it. But this was no time comment on silly hypocrisy. She was asking him if he cared about her more than his job. He took his time but finally he looked up at her.
"You're right, I did say that. And I meant it. I meant you."
She stared at him.
"Wha –what?"
The expression on her face was beautiful and priceless. She had known what she was asking, but she was not prepared for the answer.
"You heard me," he replied calmly. He gave her a moment to let his words sink in, and then got up and took her face in his hands.
"You," he repeated once more before he brought her lips to his.