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Lucca wasn't pacing. He wasn't!
Walking back and forth along the hallway leading to the meeting room was something everyone did! (Though most for different reasons...)
And if they didn't then they were the ones that were doing everything wrong in the first place.
But still, he wasn't pacing.
He wasn't frustrated or nervous and he sure as hell wasn't scared of entering Soul Society.
A place filled with shinigamis... The same people that would annihilate them if given the chance. Hell, the place looked more like a factory of killing machines than anything else.
Or that was what every Hollow and Arrancar thought, anyway... Aizen would be extremely vague about the whole place, forget about asking Kaname-teme, and asking Gin was out of the question due to his creepy tendencies to scare the heck out of Lucca with his disturbing stories.
So, long story short, the young Arrancar knew nothing of what to expect in Soul Society.
He could tell that part of him was itching to go there, though he couldn't tell if it was that weird part of him that liked shinigamis or the blood-lustful part of him that was hollowfied.
Plus there was that mental-image at the back of his mind of serialized Gin's and stuck-up Kanames that sent a chill down his spine. Even if he had the urge of letting out peals of laughter. But not now...
At that precise moment Lucca just had a sense of foreboding that just would not leave!
It felt like grief, pain and anger all compressed together and yet... yet there was also a feeling of longing. Like he wanted to return there.
And that confused the pre-teen because he was certain that he had never, ever, been in Soul Society before he woke up in Hueco Mundo. So he had no idea where those feeling came from.
He had tried to find out by forcing himself to remember his past memories or what had happened before Starrk found him. But, ultimately, the result was always the same... Excruciating pain and his power would, violently, rampage on it's own like it was alive and sentient.
After a few tries Starrk had forbidden him from even trying ever again. Whether it was to save Las Noches from crumbling under the pressure of his reiatsu or whether he was worried about what that kind of strain put on Lucca was up for debate.
And Lucca had to agree with him on not trying to remember. because they had started as soon as he forced his memories gates to open, forcefully, against his mind's protests.
They would appear from time to time, starting to become more frequent, and they scared Lucca. Like, they left him panting and shaking every time he had them. They weren't simple nightmares but more like recollections of past events.
But never from his perspective...
At first it was like a gentle breeze around him but soon they began to turn into thoughts and ghost feelings that plagued him. They were becoming stronger too.
The shock of being hit with something inside those nightmares was no longer enough to jolt him back into reality.
Now, he had to experience the whole thing before waking up.
That or something truly frightened him enough to break whatever was keeping him stuck there.
After so many of those nightmares, Lucca had the faint feeling that it was someone that was holding him in place, restricting his movements and forcing him to watch all those recollections.
Starrk had asked him about a few times when he thought Lilynette was distracted but Lucca could never give him a straight answer. If he told him that he was alright then he would be lying, something he didn't want to do to Starrk, but if he told him that he was having such dreams then he would have to endure the prolonged question&answer session that he truly wanted to avoid.
Finally having mentally exhausted himself, Lucca leaned against the wall opposite to the meeting rooms door and sighed. He decided to patiently wait until the meeting was over. With a tired expression and a slight frown on his face, he looked down to his gloved right hand.
The dark glove itself was completely normal, something Lucca had scavenged during one of his irregular trips to the Living World. Starrk and Lilynette would be furious if they caught him, that stuck-up Kaname would love nothing more than to rush back to Aizen and ask (*cough*beg*cough*) to punish him and Gin would tell him a few words of 'advice' and direct to him that disturbing grin of his.
So, to put it plainly, Lucca had to sneak out of Hueco Mundo and go to the Living World along side other hollows. And since he couldn't open his own garganta, lest wanting to be caught returning back to Hueco Mundo, he would have to wait until another group of hollows to appear and use their garganta.
Lucca had the faint feeling that Aizen expected something to happen whenever Lucca went to the Living World but even if Lucca was smart... he believed that he would have to be insane to figure out what Aizen was thinking.
Or plotting...
The whole act of leaving undetected wasn't the hard part, his 'abilities' made him pretty much invisible to any radar, the hard part was trying to control those abilities.
When they first appeared, they had scared the hell out of the young Arrancar. Merely touching something would render it into reishi and Lucca had no idea how to change it back. Or if that was even possible.
But covering the hand would help in preventing it from accidentally activating.
Lucca swore that when he first activated his powers that there had been a slightly mocking but bland voice that had whispered to him: "The price is Power" into his ear but when he turned around there was no one there.
And though Lucca had to agree that the abilities gave him power they were, in the end, a curse.
I mean who, in their right mind, would like to have some kind of... thing... imprinted onto their hand that could potentially come to harm it's family or allies?
Lucca couldn't disagree with the reasonings of Aizen about having Lucca break into where they kept those documents and take them out unnoticed but at the same time... Lucca resented them a bit.
Gin's words about 'knowing his situation' weren't helpful either in that specific matter. He knew. Lucca knew that he couldn't go against Aizen's orders unless he wanted to bring danger towards Starrk and Lilynette.
And once again, the memory of first meeting Aizen resurfaced...
They had been wandering in the endless white sands of Hueco Mundo for a while now.
Lucca still wasn't speaking in full sentences and he still moved almost mechanically but he was slowly returning gestures of affection and starting to act like a normal kid.
Well... as normal as an Arrancar with a complete hollowfied eye and no memories of what happened and no sword could be considered normal.
Starrk had been wondering if they should change directions or if they kept going the way they were walking when he heard a voice.
Like a calm and collected voice that no one expected to hear in Hueco Mundo. Starrk, even if he denied it every single time, grabbed both Lucca and Lilynette and pushed them behind him.
Or tried to anyway... Lucca had since disappeared somewhere and only Lilynette was with him. The kid had been doing that recently, going off on his own. He always found his way back and had that goofy air around him that made it seem like he had just told the joke of the year.
Starrk never really understood the reason why he took off, and was always surprised by it. Even more so if nobody noticed him doing it. The reason why that was near impossible was because Lilynette rarely let him out of her sight.
And when she was asleep or distracted, Starrk would be on lookout in case something happened.
Looking back, it could be that perhaps Lucca had always been using his abilities unconsciously up until that day. Why that day in particular?
I'll let you in on a secret...
Lucca remembered.
Only little snippets of tiny memories but he remembered.
And he feared... and somehow he ended up in the situation he was in. Aizen didn't really want Starrk and, truthfully, he hadn't been looking for Starrk that day. He had been looking for Lucca.
Somehow he knew that Lucca would be around that area since day one and he had been searching for the boy. It had been made more difficult for the fact that Starrk was constantly walking in circles in Hueco Mundo, so tracking them down was not easy.
But he found them anyways...
He straight out told Starrk that he wanted Lucca but the older Arrancar refused. They were shinigamis and Lucca, at that point, was already family. They weren't going to give them away without a fight.
Lucca hadn't been with them right there when the fight started but he was the one that ended it.
When he laid eyes on the white haori of Aizen images flashed before his eyes.
A white haired man asking him something. The man's smiling face made Lucca's heart hurt a lot. And he heard a scream... K... Kai...
Kai? Who was that? Who was screaming? Somehow the name feels incomplete...
Another image flashed...
Fighting... Someone was fighting. The white haori was turning red from the multitude of cuts that the person had. But this one didn't have white hair. His hair is short and spiky and dark.
It's raining...
And just as the final blow approaches, rods of bright energy charge towards the two.
There's a young girl down bellow in the street. She is wielding a bow and arrow made of energy. It's so bright...
Yet it hurts... Why does it hurt?
-" You~ fell~ for it~! "- a sweet and lighthearted voice says.
The world flashes again and white surrounds me...
Me?
Was it me that had been fighting?
Was it me that had seen the white haired man?
Was I Kai?
No... was my name White?
The name sounds familiar but sort of distant... Like it refers to a part of me but not my whole being.
Could I be Kai and White at the same time? No...
That's impossible! Because...
Because what? What proves to me that I'm not them?
Because...
You don't remember a thing before waking up here! And that Starrk guy told you that you were screaming. Why were you screaming?
Why was I screaming?
Maybe because you lost that fight... Maybe because someone yelled your name...
No, that can't be...
Why?
Because...
Because...
Because... I am Lucca.
The fight between Starrk and the mysterious shinigami was stopped by Lucca. How?
He appeared seamlessly out of thin air and sent a wave of power so great it tossed the two of them in opposite directions. But what the two previously fighting wouldn't be able to forget was his expression.
Both eyes were wide open in shock, tears spilling over his face and he was trembling. And just like when he first awoke in Hueco Mundo, Lucca screamed.
His power flared up and exploded. The clearing of sand that they had been, just moments before, standing on disappeared and replaced with an enormous section of glass.
It spread like waves across the sand, wavy and bright under the dark starless sky.
And before anyone could say or do anything, Lucca collapsed.
He would later wake up in Las Noches, months later. Apparently he had nearly exhausted all of his reiatsu with that 'small trick'. And some time after he was able to move around Las Noches and met Aizen again, he learned his 'situation'.
If he tried to run away; if he tried to go against Aizen and his orders... Starrk and Lilynette would be the ones to pay for it. Because Aizen only brought them as a means as to keep him chained into his service.
Placing Starrk as an Espada was because Lucca refused any attempt to place him as one.
And the young Arrancar truly believed he had escaped with a slap on the wrist kind of proposal on that matter.
He had pondered it... How could've Aizen had known about him?
He had asked Gin but the vulpine shinigami had refused to answer him. Well, he didn't openly refused. He simply, and masterly, avoided that topic as the plague.
Not only him but anyone that seemed to have an inkling on who he was.
It was upsetting and a pain in the arse but without any proof that they really knew what was going on he had no way of confronting them about it.
Lucca was still looking at his gloved hand and slowly pondered whether or not to take the glove off. He glanced at the door and intuition told him that it wasn't going to be over so soon.
Reaching with his left hand he removed the dark glove and flexed his fingers.
On the back of his hand, with a darker shade of his skin tone, was a circle. Inside that circle was some sort of cross and then, around the five points of that 'cross', were different symbols.
There was also a string like line around his wrist that connected with that marking on the back of his hand but what really stood out in all of that was the lone symbol in the center of the cross.
That symbol, somehow, brought forth a sense of dread and peace. A contrasting mix of emotions that could not be described.
Also, that symbol was the only one that Lucca had an idea of what it meant.
Creation.
The symbols all looked alike, like pieces of a puzzle that was yet to be revealed. Though they felt different.
Some felt cold to the touch and others just... were there.
Lucca's mind became clouded again. Too many thoughts were running at the same time and an headache was already starting.
-" You really don't know any better do you? "- a girlish voice asked from right beside him.
Lucca jolted and turned his head so fast he almost gave himself whiplash. Lilynette looked unimpressed at that action and slumped against the wall beside him.
She stood a hand shorter than him. A topic she always wanted to avoid because that only reminded her that when he first appeared Lucca was more than a head shorter than her.
And now he was taller.
He had grown.
He didn't say anything to her but basked in the comfort of her presence next to him. They were brothers. Family. Starrk was like a father to Lucca but an older brother type figure to Lilynette.
She didn't mind it at all and actually found a lot of entertainment pitching the two of them against each other in youthful banter when the two butted heads. She was also the first one to realize that, bellow all that cold exterior and mechanical movements, Lucca was broken.
By what or by whom neither her or Starrk could figure out but broken he was.
The way he clung to certain aspects or routines made it clear that he liked a constant atmosphere and disliked changes. Lilynette knew of one particular instance, when Lucca was still a bit disoriented from him coma, how he freaked out when he saw one other Espada and how he held onto Starrk like he was his lifeline.
It was true that he grew used to it but the fear in his eyes had terrified her. Why was he so scared?
Later on it hit her that, perhaps, it hadn't been the Espada that scared him but whatever he had seen while in his coma.
-" Something happened, right? "- Lilynette asked the pre-teen.
-" Yes. "- was Lucca's only answer.
-" What's wrong? Will you tell me? "- she asked.
-" I don't want to make you worry. I'll tell you when I get back, okay? "- Lucca asked.
It was not okay. Lilynette didn't want to be told later she wanted to know now.
But his voice and his attitude was submissive and slightly pleading.
-" Fine... But you better be back soon or so help me... "- Lilynette said.
-" I promise! I'll be back before you know it! "- Lucca smiled.
-" You better... "- the Arrancar muttered.
Nothing else was said between the two as they quietly waited for the meeting to be over.
And when it was over and the other Espada were leaving the room, Starrk walked to their side and placed his hand on the young arrancar's head. There were no tears or goodbyes but rather a silent act of affection that said 'see you later'.
That didn't mean that the feelings of hurt and sadness vanished, though...
The feelings of longing and sadness and anger only intensified when Aizen opened a seikaimon.
It was about to start. The plan that Aizen had spent centuries creating.
He wasn't scared. He wasn't worried. He was...
The three shinigamis and the young Arrancar slowly crossed the seikaimon. Kaname and Gin were just as impassive as ever and they walked a bit further ahead than Aizen, who Lucca was walking beside of.
They didn't say anything to one another but it was that silence that was growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. Deciding to just get it over with Lucca spoke first:
-" The documents you want are in the 12th division, right? "- he asked.
Lucca could see Kaname practically seething to teach him how to show respect for his superiors. Gin just gave his normal, sinister, laugh and Aizen just kept his smile and demeanor that he always had.
-" Correct. Your job is to simply enter the 12th division barracks, retrieve the documents and leave them in the Central 46 room. "- Aizen told him.
-" Central 46? Are they working with you? "- Lucca asked confused.
He had learned a bit about Soul Society from Gin and he knew that Central 46 were the ones that gave orders to the Gotei 13. So why would they be helping attack Soul Society?
-" They're not, but that is something you don't have to worry about. "- Aizen answered -" Just retrieve the documents and leave them there, understood?"
-" Understood. "- Lucca answered.
He looked ahead and saw that they were almost at the end of the seikaimon. Well, this was as good of a moment as it could get...
Removing the glove from his hand, as he had put it on before leaving, he activated the only 'ability' he had control over, the "Divide".
It was something that few knew about and that even less could access or use it.
Think of the Divide as something close to a network or a borderline that connects everything together. It's made entirely of reishi and allows one to seamlessly travel anywhere one wants. There's a catch, though. One cannot enter it without a key, that's the rule. And that key is something that no one knows how to get.
Even the young arrancar or the genius traitor captain did not know what the Divide really was, to them it simply looked like a neat trick to pull on the shinigamis.
Oh, well. No matter...
The Divide works just like a seikaimon or a garganta, with one small difference. While on the other two the path you take is set inside of the Divide you can choose your own path. Or no path at all and simply wander inside of it.
There are a few that can naturally enter the Divide but not that many are willing to reveal it. I mean, you discover that there is the equivalent of a secret route to every single dimension and you're just gonna let it slip? No, most that use or know of the Divide keep it to themselves as a way to protect their own hide.
But back to the point...
Lucca activated the only ability he had perfected control over and seemingly vanished in a flutter of reishi. Entering the Divide was like placing a filter over your eyes, the world would lose all it's color and everything seemed to move slower than you. But with colors or not, Soul Society was a breathtaking view.
When he exited the portal, Lucca was stunned at what he saw. Part of him, that was still childish and not really sixteen yet, was really surprised at not seeing anything that might've looked like a place where shinigami are mass produced.
The other part of him was split between awe and content.
Nothing had changed since back then...
Wait, what? Where did that thought come from? I've never been here before in my life!
Unseen by the three traitors, Lucca furrowed his brow. There were so many questions that he wanted answers to.
-" The faster you go look for the documents, the faster you can go back home. "- Aizen said, adding a slight edge in the end.
I was not going to reply, nor was I going to be standing around them doing nothing. I needed to find the 12th division first, then I'd have to enter their storage room or something and find the papers.
Easy... right?
Not easy!
Stupid Aizen and his damned orders! The guy drags me into the worst possible place and doesn't even tell me where the division is! Two hours!
I took two hours to find the place and half an hour to enter it without being detected by the various machines and equipment that was housed there.
There were two close calls and I dearly hoped that there would not be any third.
When I first walked in, not only was my presence already masked by the Divide, I had to suppress my reiatsu even more or risk that clown like captain sensing me. And from his mutters of dissection and studying other specimens, I wasn't that inclined on letting that happen.
I mean, I already had to deal with Szayel in Las Noches. I didn't need another psychopathic serial scientist after me for experiments...
But the second time was when I was trying to enter the place where every single file was kept. The damn door was protected by this reader thingy that gave out this loud and annoying alarm whenever any type of foreign reiatsu passed through it. So, of course, me not knowing about that tiny piece of information that might've saved me a headache, triggered the alarm.
Thankfully, since they couldn't see me, they ended up thinking it was a false alarm but the captain didn't seem all that convinced himself. Rambling to himself that there was no way that it was broken or malfunctioning.
And I had to hand it to him, if you create something that can sense me, even when I'm in the Divide, that's pretty cool.
'Let's hope, Szayel doesn't learn about him or his inventions.'- a small voice inside of me said.
It sounded so far off that I could barely make out what it said.
Finally after many hard times, I broke into the storage room. And guess what I saw.
Can you guess? Nothing at all?
Well, I'll give you a clue.
Papers, files, documents... You name it. Piled up to the ceiling.
And then there were boxes, filled to the brim with even more papers.
I wanted to murder Aizen at that point.
Apart from the snoring the room was silent.
There were no jokes or banter that could be heard and the room itself felt colder.
The green haired arrancar looked up to the other half of her soul. Starrk was sprawled all over a pile of pillows that served as a makeshift bed, snoring lightly.
Somehow Lilynette knew that those snores were fake.
How could he be so relaxed after what they had been told?
Aizen had taken Lucca to Soul Society. She had never really trusted or liked the guy but taking her brother off to a place that meant certain death was... well, unbelievable.
Starrk had been pacing for a while before wearily sighing and lying down on the pillows.
Lilynette felt bad, horrible, about the situation but she could only imagine what Starrk must've been thinking or feeling.
To not being able to refuse what he ordered and yet wanting to.
She could only hope Lucca would be back safe and sound. And quickly too.
The papers were horrible to look for.
There was just so many documents about stuff that made Lucca cringe when he played eyes on just the first lines of them that the young arrancar was trying to finish this as quickly as he could. The only piece of advice that they had given him was that he should start with the older records first and then move on onwards towards the newest that there were there.
He had found a few mentioning what Aizen wanted but none showed the information he wanted in particular. It didn't help that there were always one or two shinigami entering and exiting the storage room, carrying other papers or boxes of files.
Though, the whole situation wasn't entirely fruitless. Lucca had found a few papers talking about quincies that had caught his attention. A spark of uncharacteristic interest surged through him when he read the title of the document but soon that interest turned into disgust as he, unfortunately, read the whole document.
Forget about serialized Gins and Kanames... Soul Society had his own version of Szayel when he was caught up in a project. The atrocities that were written on those papers almost caused Lucca to laugh sarcastically at their attitudes.
If they were monsters just because they had once been hollows, what did that make of them? Apart from Noitra or Szayel or Barragan or Yammy, the other Arrancar had at least the grace of killing but not prolonging their victims suffering.
Science was scary... One more reason why Lucca never went anywhere near the labs as to not be mistaken by having a bit of curiosity of what was inside.
Hours passed and Lucca felt as if he was going to fall asleep any moment now. He had to find somewhere to exit the Divide and rest.
And there were only three options: Gin, Kanames or Aizen.
Not a hard decision, since he hated one's guts, could not stand another and was only mildly annoyed by the remaining one.
So Gin it is!
And to Lucca's luck, since he already knew his reiatsu, it wouldn't take hours to find where he was. As it was the vulpine faced shinigami was still in his office, inside of his division.
Unfortunately he was not alone. There was a blond guy with the lieutenant badge on his arm with Gin in the room.
Lucca looked through the window and considered his options...
Well, the window was open. Neither Gin or the blond had sensed him. And there was the perfect opportunity to try and scare Gin.
No, think of the mission! This is not time for games!
I don't want to worry about the mission. What's wrong with a harmless prank?
What if he attacks you or ruins your cover?
He won't. At most, he will just shudder or something.
And if by accident he or the other guy bumps into you?
He won't.
Really? You really believe that?
Yeah.
Would you bet your life on that?
On Gin's hand and reactions? Nope, not in a million years. I would not trust him to care for my pet rock, so my life was out of question.
So you don't trust Gin with your life. But you'll trust him with the outcome of the mission? One that could potentially come back to bite you, in case something goes south.
Yeah.
Unbelievable...
Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to ask you, tiny voice inside my head. But who are you?
Nothing of importance right now.
Really?
Really.
You sure?
... (silence) ...
You there? Hello!
... (silence) ...
Rude.
Deciding just to get it over with. I jumped through the window and not waiting for Gin to realize I was there, lightly touched my cold fingers on the back of his neck.
The reaction was instantaneous.
Gin bristled and for a nano-second his grin vanished and was replace with a scowl. Thankfully the blond was with his back turned or he might've gotten the scare of his life. And Lucca tried not to wince at the tiny jab of murderous intent that poked him.
-" Just you wait... "- he muttered under his breath.
-" Did you say something, taichou? "- the blond asked, turning to face his captain.
-" Nah, everything's fine, Kira-kun. "- Gin answered lightly -" But you can go home now, leave the rest of the paperwork for tomorrow."
-" Of course, taichou. See you tomorrow. "- The blond, Kira?, said before leaving the office.
As soon as the door closed, Gin jumped from his seat, closed the window and blinds and proceeded to add a privacy kido to the room.
-" Out of that forsaken technique, now! "- Gin literally barked at him.
I was in trouble.
I exited the Divide and colors returned to my world, as well as the time of movements. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep the smirk of a well done prank off my face and I saw, with mild trepidation, how Gin's eyes narrowed even further.
-" Any explanations before I teach you a lesson? "- he asked. Or demanded, it went both ways.
-" Ahahaha... Gin, you know. Missions are so boring and I just couldn't find those documents and then I came here looking for you and there was this perfect opportunity. And you should've seen your reaction! It was the equivalent of jumping out of your skin by my standards! "- I answered.
And once again his grin vanished and a scowl appeared. Worse, he opened his eyes and I cursed my mouth for simply saying all that much. At this point, I was sweating a bit. Gin could be scary when he wanted to and I guess I screwed up to by doing that prank.
Told you.
... Shut up...
I swear I almost hear the voice crackle and even if it didn't, I imagined myself glaring daggers at it.
-" I should tell Aizen-sama about that little trick you played, ya'know... "- Gin said.
-" I know... Do you have to? "- Lucca asked.
-" I don't. But I do have to warn you that this is a one time thing, "-Gin told him -", and if you dare to repeat it, I will personally drag you to him. "
-" Understood. "- Lucca answered with a calm expression. Inwardly, though, he slumped in relief. Having a 'conversation' with Aizen after doing a prank was never a good thing.
Not that he ever hurt him. But sitting in a chair and have him stare at you with those unreadable eyes and that aura of eminent danger to him was something Lucca didn't want to repeat.
At least not after seventy something times.
On the bright side, 'mild' killing intent didn't made him freeze on the spot.
-" What did you come here for anyway? "- Gin asked, his eyes closed into slits again.
Lucca mumbled an answer.
-" Please repeat that. A bit louder this time. "- Gin huffed.
-" I need a place to stay in order to cool off before going back into the Divide. "- Lucca muttered.
-" Oh? So not only did you come here to prank me but also to ask me a favor, huh? "- Gin said.
-" No, I came here to ask you a favor. "- Lucca retorted -" Scaring you was a bonus..."
-" You pranked me. Not 'scared' me. "- Gin told him.
Lucca looked at him and, with a grin, raised his eyebrow.
-" Don't look cocky, brat. "- Gin told him as he bonked his fist on Lucca's head -" To me it's as if you're still in your diapers."
Lucca spluttered as he tried to find a retort to Gin's comment.
As he was he missed the small sad and longing look that flashed on Gin's eyes before he lead the young arrancar out of his office.
'Kaien... '- he thought.
A younger looking Gin was just walking down the hallway inside his division when he suddenly bumped into someone. Looking up he faced the 13th Division Lieutenant, his spiky raven black hair contrasted with his aqua green eyes, who looked at Gin with a mixture of surprise and annoyance.
-" Ahh, it's you... "- Gin muttered without thought.
He thought he saw a vein pop on the lieutenant's forehead.
-" What the hell do you mean: 'Ahh, it's you'?! "- the man said as he bonked his fist on the third seat's head -" Don't get cocky with me brat!"
Lucca was still massaging the bump he had on his head as he was lying down inside Gin's wardrobe. Hiding behind a few layers of clothes and other pieces of cloth. First thing he noticed was that while in Hueco Mundo everyone wore white, here everyone wore black. He thought it was just because it was easier to blend in with the scenery but seeing as it was simply to make a statement, Lucca planned a trip to the living world in order to find a new style.
Truth be told he never had much passion with the white shikakusho that both Aizen and Starrk made him wear. A deep part of himself thought of the clothes as old fashioned and stuffy.
The other part of himself called him delusional and argued that this clothes was simply in the wrong tones.
Deciding to get some sleep, Lucca closed his eyes and turned to his side.
Soon darkness surrounded him and he lost himself to the deep dark and empty end that was his head.
Funny way to put it, actually... Sometimes he thought as if he was standing on a cliff and had to decide whether to jump or not. The brave are rewarded while the cowards are forgotten.
Lucca couldn't see the passage of time while surrounded by that darkness but, like all the times before, he just sat down and waited. Nothing would come and as he couldn't see a thing he just let himself succumb to the lonesome feeling that he was alone.
You are not alone.
Lucca looked up to where he thought he heard the voice.
Stand up.
Lucca remained still.
STAND UP!
Wind blasted against Lucca's back with so much strength it threw Lucca against the floor.
Lucca rose to his feet and looked around. This had never happened before.
Look forward!
Lucca decided to do as he was told.
Go forward!
Lucca started walking. He walked for a bit in the complete darkness until something made him stop.
He couldn't see but he could feel that the ground ended in front of him. This was the edge of the abyss. He didn't dare to move another step.
His heartbeat was pounding hard against his chest and he trembled slightly.
What is there to fear?
I'll fall.
Cast off your fear!
I'll fall if I walk forward.
Never stand still... GO FORWARD!
I will not. I will fall. It's best to turn back.
Retreat and you will age...
I can't... I' fall.
Hesitate and you will die!
No...
GO FORWARD!
No... I don't want to...
NEVER HESITATE! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
It felt as if there was suddenly a bright light in front of him. And he felt their presence.
The presence of those he could not remember off but were always there.
The presence of those he met and cherished.
Lilynette...
Starrk...
In the complete darkness, Lucca gave the final step towards the abyss.
He plunged into the darkness.
He was falling...
Gin was out of his bed and activating the privacy seals before he was even aware he was doing it. He opened the wardrobe door and saw, with wide and shocked eyes, as Lucca's reiatsu flared up and plunged without order.
It was fluctuating and the expression on his face was one of suffering.
-" Shit... He's awakening. "- Gin muttered.
Aizen had told him in private, together with Kaname, that bringing Lucca to Soul Society was because of several reasons.
First, it was true that he was more qualified to find the documents.
Secondly, after that was done he was to be sent to the living world in order to find and assure that Rukia was brought back.
Finally, it was to awaken his zanpakutou.
Unlike all Arrancars like him, Lucca didn't have a zanpakutou. He had no weapon and showed no signs of even being aware of his sword.
Aizen attributed this to the fact that he had no memory of who he was. And since he needed to know his soul and enter his inner world, which was influenced by his memories and such, it was impossible to access it without knowing who he was.
And he believed that the reiatsu existing in Soul Society was perfect to make him remember.
Gin hated when the genius bastard was right...
So now, he had a few minutes before a raging shinigami reincarnated human turned hollow and evolved into Arrancar was set loose inside his room. The perfect way to waste away his night.
He would kill the devious bastard, slowly, when he back stabbed him.
Infinite darkness.
That was all that surrounded me.
Silence. Nothing could be heard.
My own heartbeat seemed to have melted with the static silence.
I was alone. No matter what the voice said.
After all what, possibly, could a disembodied voice know at all?
You are not alone. I've told you time and time again.
Who are you?
You know my name. How many times must I strain my voice so it will reach you?
What do you mean? I don't know you.
*rueful chuckles*... If you, of all people, don't know me. Then who does?
Why me?
Because no one else in this world knows me better than you.
If I do, then I don't remember... I'm sorry.
Why are you apologizing?
I... I don't know you. I have forgotten.
Then remember!
I...
Remember what you have forgotten. Only then can my voice truly be reach you.
I'm sorry... I don't want to remember.
If I could cry, I would've. It was sad that the only thing that I truly lacked was something I didn't want.
The voice did not say anything else and I thought that I might've angered it, somehow.
Why?
A new voice called out to me.
Because I don't want to forget who I am.
How can you forget who you are by remembering?
If I remember... then I won't be able to remain as I am right now...
And so you don't want to remember?
No... I don't want to disappear ... I don't want to be replaced... I'm sorry. But unless I am as I am right now... I won't allow myself to remember.
Then... if you could choose who to be after remembering... Would you allow yourself to remember us?
Would I?
Retreat and you will age... Hesitate and you will die...
You are not alone.
You are the King.
Yes... I would.
All the darkness simply vanished and was replaced with a blinding bright white. It was warm and not cold like it was before.
My eyes opened tentatively but closed soon after. It was so bright!
I blinked a few times before being able to see clearly.
Not much to see, truthfully.
There wasn't anything around me. Just white. No one was there but I could feel their presences. Could I not see them if I had no memories of them?
Who are you?
Me?
What is your name?
I am...
Lucca...
Kai...e...n...
White...
My mind twisted and turned as if something was being ripped apart inside. Once again, right before my eyes, memories flashed.
Tears sprung in my eyes and I cried.
Out of misery...
Out of pain...
Out of longing...
Out of sadness...
Out of anger...
I had died.
I had lived.
I had been created.
I had killed.
I was...
Shiba Kaien... a shinigami, a once upon a time lieutenant of the 13th.
White... a hollow originated from shinigami souls created by Aizen.
Kurosaki Ichigo... a human and shinigami hybrid.
I saw before my eyes my family, both old and new, smiling.
But I couldn't return the gesture. I trembled and fell to my knees.
Or would've, had it not been the steady hand the held me in place. I saw them materialize.
A tall and lean man with a long billowing coat, looking at me with pride. The young bleached with teenager that I should've looked like had I not died, his grin looked malicious but there was no mistake in the longing of his eyes.
Finally there was a young woman with long aqua hair and blue crystalline eyes. She was crying and before I knew it, I found myself being hugged by her.
-" Kaien... You're finally back... "- she said as she held onto me.
-" Took ya sweet time, didn't'cha, King?"- the bleached teenager said, his hand never leaving my shoulder.
-" True, you were most stubborn in ignoring our attempts of calling you back."- the old man said.
I remained silent as I watched them.
Nejibana...
Zangetsu...
They were right there.
They had been right there all along! They had never left me!
I had forgotten them, everything... everyone...
I didn't regret it.
It was a strange feeling knowing you were the cause of their tears and sadness and longing and yet knew that, if given the choice, you would make the same decision.
Then it hit me.
-" How come you're still here? "- I asked.
They looked at me.
-" What do you mean? "- Old man Zangetsu asked.
-" I died, so Nejibana should've disappeared... same as you."- I answered.
-" We don't know. I was the first to wake up. Then the old man and then the psychotic lunatic at your side. "- Nejibana told me.
I frowned. What was going on?
-" I died... "- I told them.
-" You're still here! You're still Kaien! "- Nejibana shouted.
-" He's Ichigo. "- Old man said -" Shiba Kaien died."
-" He came back! He's not dead."- Nejibana told him.
-" He is. "- I told them, causing them to look at me, shocked-" They both are."
-" What do you mean, King? "- Zangetsu asked.
-" It's my choice. My decision. My rule. "- I told them -" I died... in all my lives except one."
-" Then... "- Nejibana began.
-" Yes, flower. "- I told her -" I am not Kaien and I am not Ichigo, not anymore."
My name is Lucca...
In a isolated corner of his soul, a lonely and ancient being awoken.
-" Ah... About time you rose... Creation. "- it's voice echoed.
In front of it, a key glowed.
Lucca's hand suddenly shot up, grabbing Gin's extended arm.
Pain lurched through him as his uncovered right hand touched Gin's bare skin.
It burned... As if something was being pressed onto him.
Blurry and unfocused eyes noticed that it was morning. He felt tired and aching.
-" Well, look at who finally decided to wake up. "- Gin spoke with a cheerful tone of voice.
Inwardly he was slumping in relief. His reiatsu had stopped fluctuating and since he was awake then Gin couldn't be held responsible for him not materializing a sword.
Which caused him to wonder if he had remembered at all.
-" Ya' remember your name? "- Gin asked, bracing for the answer.
Lie, don't tell him you remember anything!
If you do, then Aizen will know. You can't let Aizen win this conflict. He will destroy everything.
-" Lucca. "- he answered -" Did you hit your head or something Gin?"
-" Just making sure, ya' didn't forget everything again."- Gin joked.
It hadn't worked. Oh, he was going to love telling that to Aizen. He cringed.
-" 'Kay, the sun's up so enter that blasted thing and go look for the damned documents to give to Aizen."- Gin ordered.
-" Yeah, yeah. "- Lucca muttered as he got up and activated the Divide.
Dissolving into reishi and losing all sense of color later and he was face to face with his zanpakutous.
He blinked.
-" The hell are you doing here?! "- he shouted.
-" We thought you would want some company while in here. "- Nejibana told him.
-" Surprised, King?"- Zangetsu asked.
-" That's an understatement, Zangetsu... "- Lucca muttered.
-" I told you to warn him first. "- Old man said.
-" Where's the fun in that? "- Zangetsu asked.
-" It's not supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be proper. "- the old man told him.
-" Wet blanket... "- both Zangetsu and Nejibana muttered.
-" Hollows... "- Old man shook his head.
-" Hey, I resent that! "- Lucca piped up.
All three spirits looked at him.
-" You're a quincy, hollow, shinigami and a former human and that's what you resent?"- Zangetsu joked.
-" Shut up... "- he said embarrassed.
Deciding to get a move on, Lucca walked back towards the 12th Division. This time his eyes were not seeing a place filled with shinigami but his former home.
'If I managed to find those papers quickly, I'm going to look for taichou.'
Okay, that's a wrap for today!
Slightly shorter chapter this time, but have fun trying to find hidden messages.
Again, I'll say that if you want to see how Nejibana looks like, ask me for the link.
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