Chapter 18

James sat against the 'Marauder's tree' by the lake as they had called it since fifth year. He was fighting an inner mental battle.

Ask her again, said a small voice in the back of his mind.

But she doesn't want to go, he argued.

Only because nobody has asked her.

She hates me.

She said she forgave you.

She didn't really, I could see it in her eyes. She was disappointed in me.

You'll never know unless you ask.

I'll be pushing my luck.

James groaned and leaned back against the tree.

"James? You alright, mate?" James glanced up quickly, startled by the voice.

"What? Oh hi Remus. Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking about something."

Remus sat down beside him. "Something meaning what exactly?"

James sighed. "It's this stupid feast thing."

"Oh?"

"I - I asked, well I sort of asked Lily if she'd go with me."

"Really? Great!"

"No, not great." James looked away angrily. He picked up a nearby pebble and flung it into the lake. It landed with a splash.

"You mean she turned you down?" Remus said, sounding incredulous.

"Well yes, I mean no. Not exactly."

Remus cocked his head to the side, creasing his brow. James sighed and ran a hand through his hair before telling Remus about the evening before.

"...I mean, the feast is only hours away and I would have asked her again but she just looked so disappointed in me." James finished. He looked up at the castle. "She's probably up there, being asked by some bloke whose guts she doesn't hate, right this moment."

Remus patted James' shoulder, awkwardly. "Look James, mate, I know you don't want to hear this - but maybe you should give her some space for a while, you know?"

James looked slightly crestfallen and sighed before standing up. "You're probably right," he said, sticking his hands in his pockets and shuffling his feet.

Remus smiled at him and jumped to his feet. "C'mon, let's go find Wormtail and Padfoot."

James shook his head. "I'll catch up with you later."

"Suit yourself. See you at the feast." Remus shrugged, strolling back towards the castle.

Lily was sitting in an armchair, staring into the flickering flames of the fire, when Marlene pushed open the portrait hole. Madam Pomfrey had let her out of the hospital wing under very strict instruction to be careful at the feast and not over-exert herself or her head when dancing.

"There you are!" Lily's expression brightened. "How are you?"

Marlene grinned and flopped down into the chair beside her. "I'm doing fine, but you know Madam Pomfrey. Don't be dancing for too long now, Miss McKinnon, your head will explode into a million pieces!" Marlene mimicked. "You haven't seen Mary have you?" A flash of concern flashed over Marlene's face.

"No," Lily answered "But I suppose she'll be up in the dormitory."

"What time is it?" asked Marlene. "Shouldn't we be getting ready?"

Lily looked at her watch and sighed. "I suppose we'd better." Lily did not want to go at all but as Head Girl, she felt she needed to make an appearance. Nobody had asked her since James and although she had turned him down at the time, she found herself sort of wishing she hadn't. James hadn't so much as looked at her since breakfast that morning. He couldn't have been that hurt about Lily rejecting him, could he? Surely he understood her reasons.

"At last!" Alice interrupted Lily and her thoughts. "We thought you weren't coming! And Marlene! How are you?" Mary was sitting on Alice's bed while Alice stood behind her, her hands covered in Sleekeazys Hair Potion as she tried to tame Mary's wild, curly hair.

"I'm fine," Marlene answered, looking warily at Mary who was staring determinedly in the opposite direction. "Hi Mary." Mary grunted and folded her arms in response. Lily and Alice exchanged worried looks but didn't say anything. By now they were used to Mary and Marlene's squabbles.

Half an hour later, the four girls were dressed in their dress robes. Lily wore an emerald green chiffon dress that brought out her eyes. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. "I expect it's nearly time."

"There!" Marlene said, as she put the finishing touches to Alice's light blue eyeshadow. "You look wonderful! Frank won't be able to keep his eyes off you!"

Alice rolled her eyes before a shocked expression crossed her features. "I never asked who you girls are going with! What sort of a friend am I? Marl..?" She nudged Marlene playfully in the arm.

Marlene shot a glance at Mary. "Uh..I..um...I'm going with a boy..uh..who-Mary!" For Mary had grabbed her shoes and stormed, barefoot, out of the dormitory. Lily watched her leave.

"Marlene, should you-?"

"No! Just leave her. I've got to go," and she hurried out of the dormitory, her cheeks red with frustration.

"Come on, Lily, let's go," Alice said, linking arms with Lily and leading her down to the common room. Lily took a deep breath. It was going to be a long night.

The four house tables in the Great Hall were littered with empty plates and remnants of the glorious food that covered every inch of them only a short hour ago. Large pumpkins flickered eerily over the students and the ceiling portrayed a night sky littered with stars and the perfect crescent moon. A clap of thunder would echo around the Hall every now and then.

Lily and the girls sat with the Marauders. She was sandwiched between Sirius and Marlene, who were currently having an intense arm wrestling session to decide who got the last chicken wing. Marlene seemed to be winning. James sat opposite her but hadn't spared her a single glance all evening, much to her confusion and annoyance. As the feast had dragged on, Lily found herself wishing more and more that she had stayed in the Head's Common Room to study.

Eventually, Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet and silence fell over the Hall.

"A happy Hallowe'en to you all!" he said and a smattering of claps answered him. "Now, to follow that delicious feast, the Groaning Gnomes will be here to entertain you until midnight-" a louder chorus of claps and catcalls "-but firstly, I believe we owe great thanks to our Head Boy and our Head Girl for organising this wonderful evening!" Dumbledore led the clapping and Lily and James stood. Lily shot a glance at James but he was waving and grinning in the opposite direction. Lily hurriedly sat down again as the clapping died away. Why wouldn't he look at her? She determined to ignore James completely for the remainder of the evening.

Dumbledore waved his hands the the House tables disappeared. Various smaller tables materialised around the edges of the hall leaving a large space in the middle. The flagstones were covered with a glimmering dance floor and a stage stood where the staff table was. The Groaning Gnomes entered to much applause and began to set up.

James wandered over to where Sirius, Remus and Peter had taken at a table.

"Prongs!" Sirius yelled. Sirius had sneaked down to Honeydukes the day before and smuggled some sugar sticks up for the feast. It seemed as if he had a few too many. James laughed and patted Sirius on the head.

"Hey Padfoot."

Remus nudged James. "How are you doing?" he asked. James looked over to where Lily was sitting with Mary, in that beautiful dress that made her eyes sparkle. He wondered who would be dancing with her tonight.

Stop it, he told himself, she hates you.

It had been hard not to look at her during the feast. He had shot a few quick glances at her when she walked in and to put it simply, she had taken his breath away.

"I'm...ok, I guess." James replied to Remus. "I'm working on it."

"Hey, Sirius," A female voice drawled and Remus and James looked up in surprise as Sirius jumped up and put an arm around the girl's shoulders. She was almost taller than him, her skin impossibly flawless and her hair a well-styled cascade of bleached-blonde locks.

"You must be Isabella!" Peter said, reaching out his hand. A look of confusion flashed across the girl's face. Sirius glared frantically at Peter before leaning in to the Marauders. "Isabella's long gone!"

James snorted, trying to hide his laughter.

"How long did she last?" asked Remus, under his breath.

"A week, actually. Like I said, she was a fantastic sn-"

"Come on, Sirius. Let's dance!" The girl squealed as she tugged Sirius onto the dance floor, as the music started. Remus' mouth was hanging open as he reluctantly threw two Galleons into Peter's eager hand.

Lily sat with Alice at a table across the room from the Marauders, drinking a glass of pumpkin juice and watching the dancers. The song was upbeat. She saw Mary dancing with Benjy Fenwick, a good-looking Hufflepuff who also happened to be the house's Quidditch captain. Sirius looked like he was having fun with his latest girl-toy and even shy, quiet Remus was dancing with someone. Lily didn't see James through the throng of dancing students.

The song changed to a slower one and the floor cleared slightly as some of the students ran to get drinks. Frank came to claim Alice. Lily smiled to herself as she watched the couple. Alice was stepping on his toes but Frank didn't seem to mind, with Alice's head on his shoulder as they waltzed around. Her eyes landed on Marlene, who was dancing with some boy Lily didn't recognise. As he turned Marlene under his arm, she thought she glimpsed his face, but immediately dismissed the idea as ludicrous.

Lily turned her head away from Marlene and her partner and her eyes fell on James. Her chest constricted and there was a dull ache in her gut as she watched him smile down at the girl dancing in his arms. She recognised the girl vaguely, she was from Ravenclaw. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and she wiped them away impatiently. She wanted to stop watching them but she couldn't. She watched as he grinned down at this other girl and spun her around. He looked quite happy. And of course she was swooning over him like some love-sick idiot.

"Lily? Are you ok?"

Lily ignored Mary's voice. She hurriedly stood up. "I..I have to go," she choked out before turning and running as fast as she could out of the Great Hall.

A/N: Please tell us what you think!