Hey guys! It took me a bit longer than I initially expected to write and put up this chapter. I'm working from 8 to 16 hours a day, without a single day off, so you can imagine how difficult it is for me to find time and energy to do anything at all, let alone try and write a good chapter. As always, I did my best. And I'll do my best to keep the wait short. Expect a new chapter in a couple of days.
Oh, and by the way, I've started working more and more on another GOT story, so you have something to look forward to when this one comes to an end. I think I still have a lot to tell in this one, I won't speed things up. Let me know what you think about this chapter, and would you like another Robb X OC story!
"Gendry, are you even listening to me?" I asked him.
"Yes, I am." He lied, without even blinking an eye. I wonder why I even bother? He is barely interested in what I have to say, and I do have a lot of other things to do. And just when I am close to giving up on him, I remember where he lives. I remember that vile man he works for, I remember his little room, and I know he deserves better than that.
That is why I started teaching him in the first place. If he won't let me pay in gold, and make sure later on that he has a good job and a good future, than he'll have to let me do this. He knew it to, that's why he started learning letters. But just because he did it, doesn't mean he enjoyed it.
And I really am trying hard. I try not to sound like I think he's stupid, because I don't. I'm not smarter than he is, I just had better luck than he ever did. It could have easily been the other way around. And i am not going to give up that easily on him, no matter what he says or does to make me.
"No, you are not. I am wasting my time here." I said. I may bite my tongue every now and then, but I won't bite it now, not when he's harming his chances for leading a better life.
"Then go and waste it on something better." He snapped at me. I needed to take a couple of deep breaths in order to calm myself down.
"Gendry, do you know who my family is?" I asked him.
"Of course I do. Doesn't everyone?" He asked, and I couldn't help myself, and I rolled my eyes.
"You know what I mean." I said, and he nodded." Well, do you know that they will marry me of someday? I won't have a say in it, and Gods only know where they may send me. I can love whoever I want, but I can only marry the one they chose. You do know that, right?" I asked.
"Yes, I do. And I don't see what that has to do with me learning how to read and write." He said. Of course he doesn't. It's all black and white for Gendry.
"Alright. Let's say they marry me off to… Volantis." I suggested.
"Why would they marry you off to Volantis?" He asked. Again, it's all black and white.
"I said the first thing that came to my mind." I admitted.
"It makes no sense. If they will use your marriage for strategy reasons, it's only logical to marry you off to some of the noble houses in Westeros, and not in one of the free cities." He said.
"Gendry!" I yelled, and I actually managed to scare him." It doesn't have to be Volantis, for the love of Gods! Just imagine that they marry me off somewhere far, far away." I said.
"Like Winterfell?" He asked, and I rolled my eyes again.
"Fine, let's say they marry me off to Winterfell." I agreed, and he nodded." I'll go there, and chances are, it's going to be years before I get back to King's Landing, even for a visit. When I leave, and I probably will, I will have to leave you. As I have already promised, I'll do my best to bring you with me. You know I cannot imagine my life without you in it. But let us say that you cannot join me, for whatever reason. We will only have papers, quills and ravens. That will be the only thing keeping our friendship alive. And how will it keep it alive if you cannot read the words I write to you? How can it keep it alive if you cannot write back to me? If you have another solution, please, come forward with it." I said. I did not hold back now.
Naturally, that was only one of the reasons in the whole sea of them. At the same time, it was the one closest to my heart.
I will not lose him, I do not care what it takes. Elisa has said to me, time and time again, do not get close to the blacksmith's boy. And she did it because she was afraid, probably that I will fall for him. Now, Gendry and I both know that did not happen, and it will never happen. But it was more than that. It was a strange tie, almost like we were family, and not just two children that used to spend a lot of time together and got used to each other.
No husband would like for his wife to bring her best friend wherever she goes. Though I will try to do just that, I cannot count on the kindness of a husband I am yet to meet. I need to be prepared for every possibility, and Gendry needs to be ready for it too.
Hopefully, he will understand it now.
I looked at him, watching him as he kept his eyes on the sea in front of us. Our hidden spot was still unnoticed by anyone other than us. Our little place of peace.
Suddenly, Gendry turned to look at me.
"What did you say that letter was?" He asked, and it took all I had in me not to smile at him, but to pretend it was only natural. He didn't want out friendship to end either, and he was ready to endure my torture if that means will get to keep it.
"That is M. Now look, this is how you write it." I said, and I proceeded to show him, and watch over as he imitated my movements on his own parchment.
…
…
…
"Can you do it alone?" Gendry asked, and I nodded my head.
It was the first time I got out of the bed on my own. Or, at least, tried to get out of the bed on my own.
Robb carried me to our tent two nights ago. While I preferred this to the Maester's tent, I still felt trapped.
As always, I wanted to challenge myself. Considering my ill health and the recovery I need, that probably was not such a good idea. I barely managed to put my legs over the edge of the bed without help.
"Elena, I don't think this is a good idea." Gendry said, but I shook my head. I need to do this.
"Gendry, please." I said, and I got ready to try and get up on my feet one more time.
"Stubborn. In all my life, I have never met someone as stubborn as you are." He said, and I smiled.
"I'll take that as a compliment, if you do not mind." I said, and I tried to shift my weight over to my legs. Gendry was ready to jump in, his arms stretched towards me." Gendry, please. I need to do this by myself." I said. It's almost annoying, and if he doesn't back away, it will become bloody intrusive.
"Yeah, I can see you don't need any help in getting yourself hurt." He said. I rolled my eyes, and I went back to moving myself of the damned bed. Slowly, I shifted my weight, and while still holding the edge of the bed with one hand, I got up on my feet.
It wasn't easy. It was quite painful actually. But I did not let it show, not now, not in front of him.
"See? I can manage just fine." I said with pride. I might be strong enough to stand, while ignoring the pain, but I was in no way strong enough to walk. Of course, I did not know that until I took one step forward. Pain pierced my belly, I gasped, my legs gave out, and I was in Gendry's hands before I knew it.
"I got you." He said. And he did. As always, by my side, carrying my weight with him. Sometimes literally, like just now. I looked at him, and I knew it was too late to stop the tears. He'd seen them too." You'll be better soon enough." He said, thinking that it was my condition that made me said.
"I know. It's not that." I said, and I took my deep breath." You're here for me." I said.
"Of course I am. What did you expect?" He asked, and I smiled.
"That is a good question." I said, smiling at him." I need to move around. Gendry, no, I have to." I said, once I saw that he was about to start protesting once more." If I stay in that bed for a minute longer, I'll lose my mind. I need to walk."
"Only if I help you. And if you stop once you're tired. And you're not leaving the tent." He said. He was never the one holding the ropes, and making orders, at least not with me. And neither was I; we were always equal, because that's the way we wanted it to be. But now, he was the one ordering me around. And he did it only for my best interest.
"Alright." I said. He grabbed me around the waist, and I put one of my hands over his neck. Slowly, very slowly, he moved, and I followed his movements.
This time around, I was ready for the pain, so it did not catch me by surprise. I was quiet, but I couldn't hide it from my face. Especially not from Gendry.
He knew I was in pain, but he also knew that I needed to do this. He did not make me sit down, or lie down once again. Unlike him, Robb wouldn't hold back. That's why it had to be Gendry this time.
He is the one who knows my limits. I am not saying he cares for me less than Robb does. It is a whole other way of caring. This one is friendly, brotherly. Robb and I had been through some bad times, but Gendry was there even before I knew of Robb, let alone care for him. Gendry was here for a little while longer. And he knows I have to do it, no matter the pain. If that means he'll carry my weight every step of the way, he'll do it.
It took as quite some time to make a circle in the tent, and when we reached the bed once again, this time on the other side; I knew he wouldn't back down this time. I had my walk, now I need my rest. So I sat down on the bed when he gave me one meaningful look, telling me to not even try.
And he was right. I'm not yet recovered, not even close. I have lost a lot of blood just days ago, along with my child. I was in a better place emotionally, mainly because Robb convinced me not to blame myself, but there was a long journey ahead of me in recovering physically too.
"I wonder how long it will take me to get to Highgarden." I said as I shifted more towards middle of the bed. The looks on Gendry's face when he heard my words said it all.
"Are you mad?" He asked." Elena, you barely made ten steps with my help! You think you can handle the ride to Highgarden?" He asked. Of course, I thought about that. My preferred means of transport, on horseback, will probably be forbidden for me for a certain time, and a carriage will have to suffice. While that may be a healthier solution for me, it was still a long journey. One I am not ready for.
"I'm not planning on leaving tomorrow Gendry." I said. I know I'll probably have to wait a few days, perhaps even weeks, in order to be well enough to make that trip. But the fact that I know it does not mean it makes me happy. Not one bit." I want to do it as soon as possible, but not tomorrow." I said.
"I know. And the reason why I'm not worried is because your husband won't let you." He said, with a smug look on his face. Of course. I should have expected that one. They'll all hold Robb's side in this one. And Gendry obviously finds it amusing that my husband will probably win this little battle.
"Like that would stop me." I said, and he laughed.
"Yeah, I think it will." He said. With no better solution, I stuck my tongue out, and that only made him laugh even more." With everything that's happened when you were stubborn about Walder Frey, I do not think you'd be eager to rattle his cage. Besides, if you make one of your sneaky plans, I'll inform him of it at once." He said, and my eyes went wide.
"You'd do that to me?" I asked, feeling betrayed, but not too much. I know he's joking, just as I am. He's right. I wouldn't risk rattling Robb's cage, as Gendry put it.
"If that's what keeps you safe, than that's exactly what I'll do." He said. And I know he's not lying. If that means he'll keep me safe and sound, he'd have no problem spilling everything out to Robb." Now's not the time for bravery, or balls, as you say." He said, and I laughed.
"If not now, than when?" I asked. I needed that bravery. I needed that pride. Hell, I needed those balls. If I don't push myself simply by walking around the tent, I'll spend the whole day in bed, thinking of my misfortune and my interference in the pregnancy I wasn't even aware of. And if I keep doing that, it'll break me. While the guilt wasn't as strong, it did not disappear.
"I'm sure you'll have more than enough time for it." Gendry said." Look, we're all worried. You've been through a lot. Not just now. Hell, you've been through a lot for your whole life. It won't be the end of the world if you abandon your troubles for a day or two." He said.
"I'm not sure we can afford that." I admitted.
"Well, I'm sure we can. As is Robb. And he knows the whole situation better than the both of us together." He said. That's the truth. While Robb might try to keep me here for the time being, he will not risk the alliance with Renly. If all else fails, he'll send Catlyn on her own, he said so himself. But we both know it'll be better if I join her, considering my history with Renly.
For now, we wait. And if we cannot afford to waste time any longer, Catlyn will have to be strong enough for all of us. I'm aware of her abilities, but we would all want to have a trick up our sleeves. And Robb says that we'll wait. So, we're waiting.
"This waiting makes me sick to my stomach." I said, turning my eyes away from Gendry." We make one step forward, and then we do not move, or if we do move, we're taking one step back. I'm sick of moving nowhere." I said.
"We all are." Gendry agreed. It's been too long, and I have a family waiting for me back home. I'm starting to think that Rickard needs me by his side now, more than Robb ever will. I am filled with doubt, going through all of the decision I made myself and we made together.
"Do you want to go home?" I asked him.
"Of course I do." He said, confused with my question.
"Why?" I asked.
"Why do you think? I miss her." Gendry said. Oh. He is talking about Arya. When I said home, I meant King's Landing. I did not now he considered Winterfell his home, even though I did.
"I meant King's Landing." I said, and he raised his eyebrows." Do you regret coming to Winterfell?"
"No, I don't." He said, without giving it a second thought." You told me yourself, home is where the heart is. I had nothing left for me in King's Landing. Before, my best friend was there." He said, and I smiled back at him." And when I realized you were leaving, I had no other reason to stay. Besides, it did turn out well. I've met her. I'm not with her now, but hopefully I will be, some day." He said.
"You really care for her, don't you?" I asked him. I knew that even before he did. I found it amazing that he was no longer afraid to admit his feelings. I've known him for years, and he never was vocal about his emotions, or attractions, for that matter. He told me he'd never been with a woman, and I doubt that has changed, since he is much like Jon and Robb, probably too honorable for his own good. And he never told me that some girl caught his eyes. It had probably happened, but it was nothing worth mentioning.
And now, Arya. They are officially betrothed, like we all agreed. And I knew they are fond of each other, but I was not aware that she is what makes Winterfell home to him.
"I do." He said." I've only cared about you before, and that was a different kind of affection. At the same time, it is simple, and it is complicated. I care for her, she cares for me. I'm a bastard, but no one is disagreeing with the match. But she is young." He said, and I rolled my eyes.
"Not that much Gendry." I said." Your marriage, when and if it comes to that, will hardly be the most scandalous one in Westeros. You are, what, five name days older? That is not much. Besides, I was under the impression you'll wait until she is old enough." I said.
"We will, but I don't know if I'll live that long, to be honest." He admitted.
"We can only hope." I said, not wanting to swear that we will be back. I'm tired of giving promises I cannot keep, and I could not lie to Gendry.
"Should I let you rest?" He asked, and I suspected he was simply searching for an excuse to leave the tent, and with that, my company. I cannot say I blame him. It's one thing to be aware of our troubles, and another to not stop talking about them. I can imagine that I'm a reminder to him, a reminder of what he left behind, not once, but twice. The fact that he's still by my side means a lot to me.
"Yes, that might be a good idea." I said. He leaned towards me, kissed me on the forehead, and left the tent. I was left alone with all my thoughts.
It will have to change, it has to. I know that much. Only, I do not know when, or whether or not it will change for the better or for the worse. At this point, all I want is a change. Even if it is for the worse. Tapping in one place has begun to drive me mad, and I do not want that. No one wants that.
So I will recover. I will remain in bed, I will not push myself, and I will wait. I need to be ready for the trip I must make in order for us to win this war. If that means going against myself and my own nature, then I'll do it, without batting an eye.