Chapter 19

Bellamy lay alone. Everyone was soaking in the hot spring except Clarke. She sat across from him, watching him sleep. He was restless, unable to get comfortable. Clarke knew she would have to address his broken arm, but until he let her, she would wait, but she knew she couldn't hold off much longer.

Echo had built a fire, and hopefully Lincoln and Miller would be back soon from hiding away the horses in a nearby village. Clarke had asked him to bring some medicine that would aid in Bellamy's recovery, and she was hoping he would hurry. He was getting worse, and Clarke figured being hold up in the cold, damp cell had caused him to be getting sick along with his injuries.

After soaking in the hot springs they sat around the fire. Bellamy was alone, away from everyone else, still in the same spot he first got to. Monty wanted to talk to him, and find out what was wrong, clearly he wasn't himself, but he kept his distance and gave Bellamy his space, as did everyone else.

They all laid down and fell asleep, except Clarke and Echo, who sat by the fire, unsure what to do or what to talk about. Both women were looking towards Bellamy with concern, knowing something was wrong. He was isolated far from the others, they all knew he was bothered by something.

Clarke watched as Echo finally stood and made her way to him and sat down. "We freed you Bellamy," she said. "Why are you not pleased with your friends?"

"It doesn't matter," he said. "You should have left me there."

"Why would you say that?" she said. "They risked their lives to free you, surely they care about you. My people would never do that for me."

Bellamy put his hand on her arm, "You risked your life for me too," he said, looking into her eyes, "you shouldn't have done that. Nothing matters, not anymore."

Echo looked at him, confused, "What makes you say that?" she asked.

Then he looked at her, with a look of shock at saying the words out loud. "They killed her, and I couldn't stop them."

"Killed who?" asked Echo.

"Octavia, she was my responsibility, mine to protect, and I didn't. They came looking for me, and because of me, they killed her," he said, with a feeling that the whole world was crashing around him. Then his look turned dark. Angry eyes full of unshed tears, spilling onto a face of hate and crazed madness. He just stared into the darkness, "I should have killed more of them. I'll go back, and I'll kill them all." Echo was taken aback at the sudden change in him. She unknowingly leaned away from him, as if he were a wild beast that couldn't be trusted.

"I'm sorry." Said Echo, "Clarke told me about Octavia when we first met. I had no idea." Echo spoke to him, trying to let him know she understood. She put her hand on his shoulder, "You have to let go of this hate, Bellamy, or it will eat you alive. You have friends; they care about you, they risked everything for you. This girl Octavia, I realize she was something special to you, but you have to move on," said Echo.

Bellamy just turned his head and closed his eyes, as his tears fell.

Echo knew he needed to be alone. She rose walked over and sat back down next to Clarke beside the fire.

"He is hurting, it makes sense now," said Echo. "Ice warriors killed the girl he loved; Octavia, when they captured him. His anger and hatred is fighting alongside the grief, and it will tear him apart."

Clarke was shocked. She didn't know. Now she understood. Octavia was everything to him. Everything Bellamy did was to protect his sister.

Clarke got up and went to Bellamy. She knelt down beside him. He was looking away, still upset after his admission to Echo about Octavia. "Bellamy," said Clarke with a heavy heart. "I didn't know about Octavia. I'm so sorry," she said as tears flooded her eyes. She leaned down and softly put her head towards his shoulder. "I didn't know," she said again. Bellamy squeezed his eyes tighter, trying to stop the flow of tears, taking deep breaths. He turned his head toward hers, reached up with his good arm, and wiped his face.

"I'll never forget the look on her face," he whispered. "Her eyes, she was scared, and I couldn't do anything…" he said as the tears came flooding his face again. He turned his face away again, burying his face in the crook of his arm.

Clarke lay down next to him carefully and put her head on his chest, taking care to be gentle, she comforted him. He lowered his arm and wrapped it around her shoulder bringing his face to rest against her. He welcomed her embrace, as they silently wept together in each other's arms.

Clarke woke to the jerking motion and heat of Bellamy's body. She rose, unsure of the time, or how long she had been asleep. It was still dark and everyone including Echo was asleep.

She looked at Bellamy, and noticed he was thrashing his head back and forth. His hair was plastered to his forehead, and beads of sweat were formed across his face. He was shivering, and hot with fever.

"Bellamy, Bellamy, can you hear me?" Clarke asked, as she felt his cheeks, then forehead.

Clarke's calls to Bellamy woke Monty and Echo.

"What's wrong?" asked Monty as he rose and went to Clarke.

"He's burning up with fever," said Clarke. "We need some cool water, we have to get this fever down."

"I'll go out, I think there's a stream nearby" said Echo.

Echo met Lincoln and Miller as they were just arriving, she told them about Bellamy, as she went for water.

Lincoln and Miller found Clarke and Monty, busy trying to keep Bellamy still, he was out of his head, and she was worried he might cause farther injury to himself.

Clarke decided that now was as good a time as any, she had the men hold Bellamy still as she set his arm, pulling and straightening the bone. He screamed in pain, waking the others, as he cursed them, and made threats to the unknown people in his head. Finally his body going limp, as his consciousness left him.

Clarke was relieved, she knew setting his arm after so long was going to be rough on him, and now that it was properly set, and securely braced and bound, that his arm would heal. Now she had to focus on his fever. Lucky for them, Lincoln brought the medicine. She brewed it into a tea, and held the cup to his mouth, coaxing him to drink.

Echo returned with cool spring water. They took turns through the night bathing him in it. Finally his fever broke, and he was able to sleep.