Chapter 7:
Zuko was far too nervous about this whole thing. He hadn't seen his father since he decided to step down from the company at his retirement party. That was almost a year ago. It had been a year since he late saw his Uncle Iroh as well, but it wasn't out of malice. Running the company kept him extremely busy.
Here it was, Zuko's childhood home. He remembered sitting with mother on the front porch while he read to her. He remembered running around the front yard with Azula playing tag, laughing, and playing like a normal child. That was before everything went terribly wrong in the Agni household. Zuko hesitated to open the door. Regardless, he had to do it.
"Zuko! How are you Nephew?" Iroh embraced Zuko in a compassionate manner. Iroh had gained a little weight. His belly had grown rounder than Zuko remembered and his beard had gotten grayer and longer. The last time Zuko had saw Iroh he was at least 20 pounds lighter with a fresh, nude face. Zuko always remembered his uncle as the more reasonable one in the family. The only one who had the ability to have compassion in the family, other than his mother.
"I have been good Uncle." Zuko hugged back. It felt like Zuko had never left. The hug ended and Iroh led Zuko to the dining room for tea, which was always his drink of choice. Zuko however declined the tea. That was something he and his uncle did not have equal love for. Tea had always tasted like heated leaf juice to Zuko and nothing else.
"How's the tea shop going?" Zuko asked to make small talk. Iroh's face immediately lit up as if he was waiting for Zuko to ask a question about it.
"The restaurant is going great Nephew. I am planning on opening a second location. People just love my teas so much. I have even expanded to having sushi." Iroh spoke up very proudly about his restaurant.
"I'm glad you got out when you did." Zuko said bluntly. His uncle only responded by sipping his tea.
Iroh had left the family business, which grew into Agni Incorporated, to pursue his dream of opening a tea shop. Zuko was proud of his uncle even though he hadn't kept in contact with him. The corruption in the Agni family ran deep and Iroh was lucky he had escaped the wildfire before it consumed him too. Suddenly, Zuko felt the familiar heat on his back that made him uncomfortable. It was the familiar feeling of having his father's disapproving eye on him.
"Hello Son." Ozai said coldly. Zuko could never forget those hateful amber eyes, they looked just like his. His father's long black hair was pulled into a low ponytail. His beard looked well cared for and he was dressed in an all red Armani suit with gold accents on the sleeves and collar. His father was exceptionally excessive in his dress as always. Ozai sat down at the table and Zuko felt like a black cloud had immediately descended upon the room.
"Father." Zuko muttered in a low voice.
"Would you like some tea Brother? Tea is always a good way to have a calm and soothing mood." Iroh asked trying to lighten the mood.
"No thank you Iroh. Even your tea can't save my disgrace of a son from his embarrassment." Ozai's words cut like a knife to Zuko's ego. To think Zuko actually thought coming here was going to solve something. His father hadn't changed at all.
"Let's just get on with this Father. We can save the pleasant formalities. We both know why I'm here." Zuko was determined to get the conversation over with. He looked his father directly in the eye. He was not going to continue to be afraid of him anymore.
"The media has seemed to uncover videos and photos of you acting like an immoral playboy. The behavior displayed in the video was repulsive. We got you all of that treatment for you to waste it on a night full of two dollar whores. Explain yourself."
"I know what I did was inexcusable Father. I was extremely upset. I lost Maya in a custody battle with Mai yesterday. I didn't want to think anymore so I turned to the only quick fix I knew: alcohol. I know I broke my sobriety and the image I projected to the world last night was less than reflective of the image our family needs."
"Oh Nephew, did you really think you were setting a good example for your daughter?"
"He doesn't deserve his daughter if he is going to use his free time to guzzle down alcohol. He has failed his daughter and he has failed this family like he always does. To think I gave you the company thinking you could ever amount to anything successful in life."
Suddenly Zuko felt like he was four years old getting scolded for crying when he fell and scraped his knee. He was a failure at four for showing his emotion and he was a failure now at it. No amount of alcohol could ever mask the pain he felt anymore. He finally needed to express himself to his father otherwise he would never be able to move on with his life, never be able to love someone, never be able to open up to anyone, and never be able to be happy.
"Ozai, you do not have to be so harsh to your son. How do you think your anger will bring growth to the situation?" Iroh spoke candidly.
"No Uncle, I'm done being afraid of him. Don't you dare say anything about my daughter and my parenting when you weren't exactly father of the year!"
Ozai started laughing. He obviously thought Zuko was joke. That just made Zuko feel even more aggravated.
"Blame me for your negligence to never be an acceptable son to me. You do not deserve the Agni name and never did. Be a man for once in your life and have an achievement that actually doesn't disgust me."
"Need I remind you that I am running the company? A company which I have expanded and that just made the Fortune 500 list, something you have never done in all your years as CEO. And I HAVE made an achievement. Maya, your granddaughter, is my greatest success and if I know any better I will NEVER treat her like you treated me."
"I treated you like the vermin you are! Ever since you were a little boy you have been a disappointment. Always crying and complaining, then when you become a teenager you decided to lash out. If it wasn't alcohol, it was you being caught in bed with another women. I told you to not sleep with that wretched girl. I told you to make her get an abortion. You didn't listen to me and now you have an inbred child with a whore for a mother. None of this is my fault. All of this, including your abhorrent behavior last night is every bit of your burden."
Zuko jumped to his feet immediately, enraged, and ready to blow. He tackled Ozai and caused him to fall to ground. He gripped his father by the collar of his shirt and pressed him up against the wall. Zuko was breathing hard and his eyes were filled with hate and rage. Zuko was seeing pure red.
"NEPHEW STOP!"
Zuko only proceeded to press his unbothered Father harder against the wall.
"You listen and you listen well. If you ever call the mother of my child a whore again I will personally beat you until you will never walk again. If you ever so much as mention my child's name from your vile mouth I will kill you where you fucking stand. I will kill you! Do you understand me?"
"Nephew!" Iroh's concerned voice snapped Zuko back to reality. He quickly dropped his father back on the ground. Zuko leaned over the table to catch his breath.
"Well look at you finally acting like a man. Although you have to work on making your threats… more convincing." Ozai got up from the floor and dusted his suit off while laughing. He didn't even seem bothered that his son had threatened to kill him.
"You took me to a place I never wanted to go! Every reason I'm as messed up as I am now is because of you! Because of you I don't know how to love. Because of you I can't communicate or connect with people. You traumatized me! If you don't at least claim that you did that to me, you aren't much of a man either. I am truly working on becoming a better man than you ever can wish to be. I claimed the fact that I have an alcohol problem. I claimed the fact that I have mistreated women. I own the fact that I am currently an embarrassment to myself and my family, but how can you not own up to the fact that you burned your own son?"
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Zuko remembered it clearly. It was cold and raining outside, on that day. He was seven years old. The thunder boomed through the house like a menacing laugh. Zuko came in from the rain from school. His driver had neglected to bring an umbrella so all Zuko wanted to do was to change. He heard an argument in the kitchen. His mother and father were fighting like they always were. The smell of hot chicken and rice filled Zuko's nose.
"You want to leave me Ursa! You can go ahead and leave, but don't take any of MY money with you. I grew bored of you anyway. A wife that doesn't properly satisfy his husband doesn't deserve anything from her husband." Ozai's voice was loud and frightening. To a seven year old Ozai sounded like Satan in human form. Zuko usually stayed in his room when they were fighting, but he was curious this time. He stood by the kitchen door, peeking his head out.
"I am taking the kids with me and you are going to give me money. I can't take your abuse anymore. You have talked to me like a dog and hit me for the last time. How am I supposed to raise the children when you threaten to clean out all of the accounts?! You're a monster. What kind of man abandons his children?"
"The only thing you're leaving the marriage with is yourself. You had nothing when I met you and you will have nothing when you leave. Now finish cooking dinner. At least do ONE duty properly."
"No! I can't do this anymore!"
"What did you say Ursa? How dare you defy me?"
Zuko was shaking. Ozai had his mother by the neck. He was choking her and shaking her hard. She could barely scream for Ozai cutting of her air flow.
"STOOOOOP" Zuko yelled stepping into the kitchen. Ozai looked like a giant in front of him. He was so scared.
"Look at your precious boy Ursa," Ozai threw Ursa to the floor effortlessly. She was gasping for air as Ozai stepped towards young Zuko. "You want to see what you make me do Ursa?"
Ozai grabbed Zuko by his neck and dragged him across the kitchen floor over to the stove.
"OZAI! NO!"
"You want to leave me?! Okay, this is the only way you'll leave me." Ozai turned the eye of stove on high and lifted Zuko up so his face was close to the fire.
"Dad. Stop. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Don't hurt me. Please. No." Zuko was crying and frantic. His heart was beating so fast he could barely breathe.
"NOOOOOOOO" Ursa yelled crying. She got up and tried to pull Zuko out of his hands. Ozai only slapped Ursa with his back hand so she fell to the floor.
"This is the punishment. NO ONE dares to disobey me." Ozai put Zuko's face directly into the fire. He let out a blood curdling scream. The pain was surreal. It felt like his whole body was melting.
"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" Ursa yelled, tears falling down her face in large globs.
All Zuko could remember was hearing his mother's voice and the feeling of unbelievable pain.
~/~
23 surgeries later, including plastic surgery, and a month in the burn unit and Zuko looked normal. There was still a faint outline if you looked close around his eye and sometimes Zuko's vision out of that eye was blurry. Sometime his eye even throbbed, but the doctors said he was lucky to even have partial vision from that eye. He didn't feel lucky though. He carried the shame with him every day.
"Let that go and move on with your life. I paid for all the surgery to have you looking like a normal person again. You should be thankful I burned you. I taught you a valuable lesson about respect that day!"
"No! You taught me to fear you. Fear and respect aren't the same thing. I'm glad I know the difference now so I can finally have healthy relationships. I'm done being afraid of you! I'm done trying to live up to your standards! And I'm done being afraid of people loving me. I am going to live my life with you out of it!" Zuko spoke with conviction. "I'll raise my daughter and be the best father you never were. I'll fall in love with a beautiful woman of my choosing and for once in my life be genuine and honest with her. I'll run the company and take it in the direction that I want. Last night was a setback but I am in no way a failure. I made a mistake and I will spend every moment trying to prove to people that I'm not that man they saw on their television screens. You're the real failure and I hope there is a special place in hell for people like you."
Zuko stormed out of father's house. He wanted to never come back again. He was so proud of himself for finally speaking his mind to father. As Zuko opened the door to his car Iroh came running out to him.
"I know you're going to ask me to try with Ozai but I'm not. I meant every bit of what I said to him. As far as I'm concerned I'm not his son."
"No Nephew. I'm happy you finally emancipated yourself from your pain. You can finally begin your true journey as a man." Iroh smiled at his nephew, truly happy for him
"Thank you Uncle. I will be seeing you again." Zuko meant it. His Uncle seemed to be the only positive male figure in his life.
As Zuko drove off from his childhood home he hoped to leave his old wounds and pain behind. He was ready to let go of the dark, negative energy in his life. He was ready to step forward. He was going to be an amazing father, going to run an amazing company, going to find an amazing woman and never have to doubt that she loved him. He was going to pay atonement to all the people who he had hurt and prove to the media and the public that he was becoming a new man. Life was far too short to still carry regrets. The new Zuko wanted to achieve peace of mind with no form of regret in sight.
Author's Note: This was a rather emotional chapter. What do you guys think, do you believe Zuko will change? Thanks for reading!