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74. Here

Disclaimer: I can't apologize profusely enough for not updating after that last cliffy…in FIVE years. I am ashamed and embarrassed. But I wish to continue with the story and finish it! I've been busy over the last five years—I've been working as a nurse (yay!) and I got married last year (also yay!) so now I think maybe things are calming down again. I've also been working on an original piece of fiction that requires a lot of research, so I've been spending my creative energy on that piece over the past few years. But I am ready to take a break from that and get this story finally finished. I owe it to you all and to myself. I love this story and I want it to be complete. So I do hope that all of you who had followed along and reviewed, and for those of you who didn't, and for those of you who are new to this story, I give you the 74th chapter! Here's to the late Heath Ledger—it will be EIGHT years since his death on the 22nd.

The club wasn't what I remembered it to be. It was dark and dank, full the to the brim of Boston's most disgusting. It was a rather unfortunate sight to behold. I was immediately filled with shame and embarrassment for having danced there so long ago. Overwhelmed with a sudden onset of dizziness, I spun around on my heels, making my way back towards the door I entered. I couldn't get out of there fast enough! But much to my dismay, someone took a gentle hold of my wrist.

"Giada!"

I turned and came face to face with Matilda. I couldn't believe she was still dancing here! She looked rough, like she had been using again, and for a while. I forced the frown from my face and smiled back at her.

"Hey girl," I said, hugging her gingerly.

"I can't believe it's really you. It's been so long. What brings you here?" she asked, quirking and eyebrow. I shook my head, unable to hide my dismay.

"Honestly? I have no fuckin' clue," I replied, letting out a small laugh, which in turn, parted my freshly healed Glasgow smile.
"Oh fuck! What happened to ya face?!" Matilda exclaimed as she apprehensively reached up to my face with her hand.

"It's nothing," I replied.

"Well you're bleeding," she stated wryly, "did this just happen to you?" she reached for a piece of tissue from her pocket and dabbed the corner of my unstitched mouth.

"Yeah, it happened earlier tonight," I responded, taking the tissue from her and holding it tightly to my face.

"Please tell me someone didn't do that to you! You gotta call the police, G! And get yourself ovah to the general. Get some stitches or somethin'," Matilda genuinely looked concerned as she widened her big blue eyes, revealing her pinpoint pupils. She was definitely using heroin again. I frowned.

"Oh Tilly," I reached up and touched her face, widening her eyes a tad more with my thumb, "you're using again aren't you,"

She shifted uneasily in her stilettos, "yeah," her voice was low as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interfere. I just remember how hard we worked getting off of drugs. It's hard," I said softly.

"Yeah, no shit. You mean to tell me you haven't used cocaine once in all these years?" she raised an eyebrow. I sighed and shook my head.

"I used once. And someone made me try heroin. I did it once. Never again. I almost died, Tilly,"

"You think I like being addicted, G? I hate this shit! I hate that I'm still working here. I hate my life," Matilda never looked so depressed. Being around her made me share in her pain. I truly felt for her, but I couldn't stay a minute longer. What was I doing here?! I guess I got the last laugh…

I started to turn again, but she stopped me once again.

"What's with you, G? You come here after all this time and now you're leaving me again so quickly? Come on, I want to hear about you and what you've been up to,"

"Sorry if I seem uninterested, I've got no business here," I replied, "it was a mistake for me to come here,"

"You're coming back with me. We've got some catching up to do," I allowed her to lead me through the sleazy club all the way to the dressing rooms, grabbing a couple of drinks from the bar on our way.

We sat on the dingy old couch, our knees barely touching. I sipped on my overly sweetened margarita, "Well, I've been living in Gotham. I met this guy there and he's basically ruined my existence. But I'll be fine. I'm just waiting for my friend to get to Boston and I think we will figure things out from there,"

"What's there to figure out? Just get rid of the guy who's causing all ya pain, G. It's that simple. And come back to Boston for good! Get outta Gotham, once and for all. That place is no good,"

I shook my head from side to side, "I can't do that, Tilly. It's not that easy. I love this guy. I am actually in love for real and it's terrible. Haven't you ever been in love? It's awful,"

Matilda nodded her head in agreement, "Yeah I hear ya. Love sucks the big one. Well just be safe, please. I don't need to be readin' ya obituary in the papahs. Gotham's not a safe place to live. I mean, I don't mean to make my life out as safe and all, but at least Boston's safer than Gotham,"

"Well the same could be said for you, Tilly. Go easy on that heroin. It'll kill you faster than Gotham will kill me. I promise you that,"

She was silent for a moment, nodding her head. She knew of what I spoke was true, but I knew her pain. She was stuck and addicted. She needed help like I needed help. We were a sad lot!

I couldn't wait to get out of there. I felt so badly for Matilda. Her life was really sad, but I suppose no sadder or any more pathetic than mine had become. I was so desperately in love with the Joker that I had abandoned my principles. I had abandoned so much about myself that I had worked so hard to achieve. I had blinders on—I was so hell bent on getting through to him, breaking through his hardened exterior, breaking through the walls and shells he built around himself. Part of me felt that in the end I'd be successful, but part of me knew better than that. It was just the hopeful part of me wishing so badly that one day he and I could be together as the Napiers. Good God, that seemed so unlikely! I chuckled aloud to myself at the thought of us living in a perfect little community with a white picketed fence with our children running about the yard, and us, the Napiers with our matching Glasgow smiles watching over our children. I really was insane, because that thought felt so tangible. Wait, what?! There was no way that would ever happen…ever.

My cellphone ringing suddenly cut through the silence between Matilda and I. Relieved, I quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"Giada, it's Bruce. I'm at Fenway, where the hell are you?!" he sounded mad. I'd be mad too if I were him.

"I…I'll be right there,"

"No. Tell me where you are and I will come and get you,"

I paused, afraid of telling him the truth, but I had to, "the Joker's Wild," I winced.

There was a pause of silence before he spoke again, "I'll be there in a minute," and the phone went silent.

I turned to Matilda and slide my phone shut, "I have to get going. My friend just flew in from Gotham,"

Matilda nodded her head and stood to her feet. I joined her, setting my half-drunk margarita down on the table beside us.

"Well it was so great catching up with you. Giada, I promise you, next time you see me, I will be clean again. You're an inspiration to me," she forced a smile. God I loved Matilda. She was such a sweet girl. She just had been dealt a shitty deck in life and she didn't know how to play the game. She didn't know how to play the game any more than I did. For all I knew, she was faring far better than I. At least she had a drug she could quit. The Joker was my drug and I knew I could never quit him.

We made our way out if the backstage lounge and into the club just as Bruce made his grand entrance. He was so classy—he didn't even wince or even so much as blink an unpleasant eye at his surroundings. He merely came right up beside me and smiled, holding out his hand to Matilda.

"I'm Bruce, Giada's friend from Gotham," Matilda shot me a look with wide eyes as she accepted his hand.

"I'm Matilda," she smiled up at him and then smiled at me, "please take good care of my little G. She's a good girl, really,"

Bruce laughed and wrapped an arm about me, "I know she is, and you have my word I'll keep her safe,"

"Bye Tilly," I hugged her tightly, for a part of me truly feared for her life. I never knew if it would be the last time I saw her or not.

"Bye G," her voice was muffled in my hair.

And with that, Bruce and I disappeared into the dispersing crowed. Inside the limo, he handed me a glass of water.

"Drink this and just relax. We'll be outta here in no time," Bruce said as he shifted into his seat. I took the bottle and drank. I was done asking questions. I was numb. I just wanted to live a normal life again, and I was done. I was done fighting to win the Joker's affections in the way I wanted to have them. I wasn't willing compromise anymore.

Sitting back into my seat, I took another drink of water and shut my eyes. I knew Bruce would make everything okay in my life. He always did.

But much to my dismay, he did something I never expected. I feel into a deep sleep. The last thing I remember was dropping the bottle of water to the floor of the limo as consciousness left me, and my whole body released into paralysis.