A/N: And we have another chapter! And a huge thank you to whoever continues to read this story, your support means so much to me. I hope you enjoy this one!

Warning: This shipping/story may be considered gross and/or emotionally disturbing. I completely agree. Read at your own risk.
I also don't intend to offend anyone, I only want to entertain.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, Bulbapedia or the picture used as cover.

IN LOVE

MintTeaShipping (CressxRosa)

Characters according to Bulbapedia

Cress (Japanese: コーン Corn) is one of the three Gym Leaders of Striaton City's Gym, known officially as the Striaton Gym. He specializes in Water-type Pokémon. He gives the Trio Badge to Trainers that chose Tepig as their starter Pokémon if they defeat him.

Rosa (Japanese: メイ Mei) is the female player character in Pokémon Black 2 and White 2. Her male counterpart is Nate.

Story according to me plus interruptions by the characters

As a waiter, he had seen his fair share of beautiful girls and women. And with his charming nature and handsome looks, he had also managed to get to know more than a few of those women more intimately.

"I have the feeling they're talking about me."

"Ah…"

He was never sure which one would be the most beautiful one. One had those unique birthmarks on her back, the other had such an adorable pout, yet another one's hair was truly as soft as it looked…

But when she walked in, he finally knew for sure. This was her.

The most beautiful girl in the world.

"And considering this is supposed to be a love story, I estimate that that girl is you."

"L-love story…?"

"Why yes, Hilda told me about it. According to her, it was quite a nightmare, but so far, it doesn't seem too bad."

"O-oh…"

He didn't need to see her naked to know that for sure. It was just her beautiful, deep blue eyes…

They reminded him of water. The way the blue seemed to swirl, and how the light caused subtle changes. One moment they were dark, almost black, the next, they were light and clear, and a moment later, a swirl of green seemed to appear.

"Hmm…"

"Wh-what are y-you, uh, what are you doing?"

"It does seem you do indeed have blue eyes. But I can't say I'm able to see those color changes, though."

"Oh, o-okay."

When she sat down, he didn't allow her a choice between him and his brothers, and quickly served her himself.

"That is ridiculous! I would never be so impolite."

Her voice was like the musical sound of tinkling bells.

"Rosa?"

"Ye-yeah?"

"Say something."

"W-what?"

"No, say something. A whole sentence."

"O-oh. Right. A- a sentence. Uh… was that enough?"

"Yes, thank you. I think we can safely say your voice does not sound like 'tinkling bells' as the author put it."

"Uh… yeah…"

She ordered a cup of mint tea, and when she smiled her thanks at him, he knew his world was perfect. He could die happily now.

But life wasn't over just yet for our hero Cress.

"What do you mean, just yet?"

Rosa – that was her name, and it was such a beautiful name, though not as beautiful as the fair maiden herself, in Cress's opinion – had a Oshawott.

A Water type. Could she be any more perfect?

And then she said she wanted to battle the former Striation City's Gym Leader. And she just got even more perfect.

He sighed dreamily as he watched her prepare for battle. Her every movement enticed him, every smile paralyzed him, and when she turned her oh-so blue eyes on him, he felt in heaven.

"Uh… Mister? Cress?"

"Yes, Rosa?"

"You aren't- uh, I mean, you d-don't… you know… r-really think that about me? R-right?"

"Oh dear, no! This is just a story, completely made-up, remember?"

"Yes, yes, right, that- that's good. Because… it's kinda scary."

"I agree."

Cress had his Pokéball already enlarged in his hand, when she continued turning her head, away from him.

And to Cilan.

Rage welled up, burning in his throat, and it was only through years of practice that he could keep his calm façade, and with some effort, he swallowed the anger back down.

"That is preposterous! I do not- I'd never-!"

Of course, these were the rules, he reminded himself. She had a Water type, and so she had to battle Cilan.

Cilan pulled out a win – Cress found himself thinking that his brother must've been cheating – and confidently, the green-haired former Gym Leader walked over to Rosa.

Slinging an arm around her and pulling her close, he whispered seductively, "What about a… rematch… Tonight? Just the two of us, hm?" He winked at her.

"Wha- This story does not make any sense. Cilan's personality is the complete opposite of that."

"Cilan? Your brother? B-but I thought this was a l-love story between me and y-you."

"It is supposed to be… I thought."

Rosa blushed in response to Cilan's words, before smiling sweetly – seductively – and nodding.

Cress saw red for a moment, before his anger deflated and he felt empty, so empty. His own brother had betrayed him! And Rosa, his one true love, was forever out of his reach. She had chosen Cilan over him!

"This is very unrealistic. And offending, to be perfectly honest."

Chili found his brother in the kitchen with a knife through his heart. He blamed Cilan for their brother's death, and took the mourning Rosa with him when he left – she had always loved Cress, had never dared to say, and now it was too late. But perhaps, with time, she could learn to love Chili.

"Hold on, hold on, what is going on?!"

They would have one child, a boy, named after the man they had both loved, though in different ways.

And Cilan was left alone, getting what he deserved, forever alone in his misery.

The end.

Story according to the characters

Cress: "…What?"

Rosa: "I… don't understand. I thought… You and me, and- and then Cilan, and Chili, and- what happened?"

Cress: "I have honestly no idea. This- this makes no sense! How could anyone call this a story?!"

Rosa: "I think I w-was in love with you, s-secretly. But… we just met… How could I be-?"

Cress: "And I fell in love with you, and then Cilan seduced you, and then I committed suicide, and then you and Chili blamed Cilan, and Chili took you with him, and you fell in love, and you and Chili had a child you named after me, and Cilan was forever alone, and, and, and-"

Rosa: "Breathe! Slow down, and take a deep breath! …Yes, yes, like that, calm now… yes… Are- are you feeling better now?"

Cress: "Thank you, Rosa… I do have a headache, but I'm sure I'll feel much better once we get to leave here. This- this story was horrible. Horrible!"

Rosa: "W-well, the beginning wasn't too bad. But the ending was really abrupt and it was confusing, I thought."

Cress: "Confusing, absolutely! I mean, Chili and Cilan and Rosa and me and tea and babies and knifes and-"

Rosa: "Okay, okay, calm down, calm down. Don't start again now, okay? We- We'll just leave. That's right, we're leaving. Come with me, like that, yes, we're leaving now. Just keep breathing, we're going to get you home…"

Cress: "R-right. Yes, right. H-home…"

A/N: Er… Yeah. Crack, definitely crack. MintTeaShipping with hints of NutmegShipping and ChamomileTeaShipping. Don't worry, those two will get their own chapter… in due time. Maybe. Rosa wasn't easy to write, I thought her to be innocent and sweet, and Cress was… Cress. And in the end definitely freaked-out. But that's what we're writing for, aren't we? XD

Anyway, thank you all so much for reading, and a review would be very appreciated! Thank you!

Extra (useless) info: The name MintTeaShipping could be inspired by the fact that Cress works in a restaurant and serves tea. Mint could be a reference to the color of his hair, eyes and bowtie, and/or to Rosa's eyes.
Note: This information comes from either my own mind, my friends', the site Serebii dot net and/or Bulbapedia. In no way this information should be taken as official or confirmed, as they are just speculations made by fans.