A/N: Thank you for your support! :D Here's another chapter, I had a lot of fun writing this. Enjoy!

Warning: This shipping/story may be considered gross and/or emotionally disturbing. I completely agree. Read at your own risk.
I also don't intend to offend anyone, I only want to entertain.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, Bulbapedia or the picture used as cover.

IN LOVE

0%ChanceShipping (IrisxRegice)

Characters according to Bulbapedia

Iris (Japanese: アイリス Iris) is a girl from the Unova region who is a former traveling companion of Ash.

Regice (Japanese: レジアイス Regice) is an Ice-type Legendary Pokémon. It is not known to evolve into or from any other Pokémon. It is, along with Regirock and Registeel, one of the three Legendary golems of Hoenn.

Story according to me plus interruptions by the characters

This was the best way.

The only way, too.

She knew it was, oh Arceus, yes, she knew it was. But that didn't mean she had to like, because, oh dear Arceus-

A tear rolled down her face, ice-cold even to her numbed skin.

"Uhm… so I only have to sit here, and uh, listen to this story, right?"

"I believe that is right, yes."

"Who said th- aaaaaah!"

"Oh dear."

The wind was freezing, though fortunately it wasn't snowing. Iris wasn't sure if she would have been able to make it up to the mountain in a snowstorm. And she had to make it up to the mountain. She had to.

"Girl, are you alright?"

"A-au-augh…"

Fortunately, the village elders had not been stupid enough to dress her up in a frilly dress, like they had done with the previous girl. Iris doubted she had reached the top of the mountain. No, scratch that, she was sure the other girl had never made it.

If she had, Iris wouldn't have been in this place right now.

"I am afraid I know very little about the best way to handle human distress."

"A-a-ah…"

"Girl, if you would be able to tell me what is causing you distress, we could work from there."

No, that girl had frozen to death somewhere, and Iris's warmer clothes prevented her from having to go through the same.

Her fate was much worse.

"I-I…"

"You…?"

"I-ice-ice-type…"

"Ice-type? I am- oh poor girl, you are afraid of Ice-types, are you not?"

"Yea-ya …"

"Hm."

Iris continued ascending the mountain, the air turning thinner and colder the higher she got. And then, there it was.

The cave.

It was dark and deep and frightening, wide open as a mouth, ready to devour her.

"I can only assure you that I will not hurt you. You have nothing to be afraid of."

"I- I don't- I don't like Ice-types."

"I had gathered as much, yes."

"N-no-nothing personal."

It was fitting, Iris decided. After all…

She was a sacrifice.

She would die for her town, to save them from the endless winter, and she would do with her back straight and her chin lifted.

But she couldn't stop the tears from escaping.

"I shall do my best to make sure this experience is over as quickly as possible. However, I suspect it would be over the fastest if you would join me in my attempts to understand this story. Do you agree with this compromise?"

"I-I guess…"

"Very well, then."

Suddenly, a silhouette, white as ice, appeared in the entrance, and Iris felt her body go stock-still. Everything in her was screaming for her to run, and she almost fell over as she unconsciously took a step back.

But, no. She couldn't run. This was it.

It was a huge Pokémon, an Ice-type, a Legendary, the cause of her town's peril, and it would soon be her death. She closed her eyes, another tear slipping down her cheek.

She was ready.

"I am going to assume that Pokémon that is mentioned would be me. Otherwise, I see no reason for me to be here in the first place."

"And you're going to kill me. In-in the story, I mean."

"You are beautiful."

Iris snapped her eyes open at the Pokémon's words. The voice had been a low rumble, unexpected, and the words had been even more unexpected. She had never been called beautiful before.

"I am unsure as to how to interpret this story."

"Me-me too. I mean, I mean, seriously, I'm not that- that melodramatic!"

Regice was close, very close, but for some reason she didn't feel the icy cold air it was said to exude. She had to look up to see its multiple yellow eyes, but the emotions she saw swirling there surprised her even more than the words had.

"You will be safe here, little one. I promise I will not hurt you."

Iris didn't know when her fear had disappeared, but suddenly it was gone. Instead, she found herself filled with a warm trust, a confidence in the Pokémon's words, a happiness she had never felt before-

She smiled. "Okay."

And with that, she accepted Regice's extended hand, and it led her into the cave.

She never felt cold again.

Story according to the characters

Iris: "Wait, wait, that- that was the story? That doesn't make any sense!"

Regice: "I find myself agreeing with you. From what I have deduced, I am assuming this is meant to be a romantic story. However-"

Iris: "Wh-what?! A romantic story?!"

Regice: "Yes. But as I was going to point out- Iris, are you feeling okay? Your face is changing its coloring to red and you are breathing too quickly for your lungs to properly switch out carbon dioxide and oxygen-"

Iris: "I- I'm fine. Just- Just continue with whatever you were saying."

Regice: "Very well, if you insist. As I was saying, this makes very little sense. I am genderless and I do not breed; I am, what you humans would call, asexual."

Iris: "Oh dear Arceus…"

Regice: "Are you sure you are okay, Iris? The redness in your face is still increasing and-"

Iris: "Yes! I'm fine! Now let's finish this- this thing so we can go home!"

Regice: "Very well-"

Iris: "You know what, I'll finish it. This story doesn't make any sense. It would never, ever, not even in a million years, happen. It- it- Ugh!"

Regice: "How interesting… Are you angry?"

Iris: "Yes! I'm furious!"

Regice: "Fascinating… I have never witnessed human anger like this before. Truly fascinating."

Iris: "Aagh!"

Regice: "Allow me to wrap this up. I would like to point out that the Iris in this story seems to have forgotten about her town entirely in favor of the romantic plot, and also that, even though I am able to control the weather in some way, I would never choose to use my powers like this."

Iris: "And it's stupid! Can we go now? I'm going!"

Regice: "It was nice working together with-"

Iris: "Eeep!"

Regice: "I apologize. I will not come any closer. Goodbye, Iris."

Iris: "Ye-yeah, yeah, goodbye."

Iris: "…"

Iris: "Oh Arceus… Seriously, a Regice? A Regice?! Of all possible-! Augh!"

A/N: Thank you for reading! This got longer than I intended haha. It was fun to write. As for why I choose to Anime!Iris gather than her game counterpart, this is because in the anime, she's afraid of all Ice-types. I don't believe this is ever addressed in the games, and in my opinion, this story was more fun when Iris is afraid of Ice-types. Also, I hoped the somewhat robot-like personality worked for Regice. I think it's going to be pretty difficult to pick different personalities for all kind of Pokémon.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it reading, and reviews are love!

Thank you!

Extra (useless) info: The name 0%ChanceShipping was very probably chosen because fans believe that the zero percent equals the likelihood of this pairing ever happening. This is probably so because of anime!Iris's fear of Ice-types, and the fact that Regice does not breed and therefore, by some people, is considered asexual.
Note: This information comes from either my own mind, my friends', the site Serebii dot net and/or Bulbapedia. In no way this information should be taken as official or confirmed, as they are just speculations made by fans.