AN: Hey guys, I'm back! Not really in the mood for a long author's note today, sooooo yeah. A lot of these came from my good friend ThePegasusDevice! Thank you!
*insert standard disclaimer here*
116. Do not go 'fishing' for humans by using a metal pole and industrial strength fishing wire with $100 dollars glued to the end and then proceed to go "Too small!" after reeling them up and drop them back to the ground.
(THIS DOES NOT NEED AN EXPLANATION. ESPECIALLY SINCE I BROKE MY ANKLE BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT.)
(Not to mention all the other injuries people got.)
(A base kid broke her arm!)
(I know it was funny in theory, and if no one had gotten hurt, it probably would have been, but some one did, so it isn't.)
(SKYWARP)
117. Do not give the base kids sugar.
(You thought the teens, including the Chevy twins, were bad? You've never seen almost 100 kids on the best sugar high of their lives.)
(So... Much... GLITTER.)
(Unknown group of soldiers, Ironhide)
118. There is NEVER a reason to give the teens or either set of Twins a flamethrower.
(You'd think this would go without saying. You'd also be wrong.)
(It's bad enough the teens have access to guns in case of attack, but the twins ALREADY HAVE WEAPONS DAMMIT.)
(THEY ARE DESTRUCTIVE ENOUGH AS IS. I DON'T WANT TO ADD ARSON ON TO THEIR LIST.)
(Saying you did it for 'scientific reasons' or to 'see what happened' is not an excuse or legitimate reason.)
(Wheeljack and SHOCKWAVE FOR LETTING HIM because 'SCIENCE')
119. No, I do not just tolerate the twins calling me their mother.
(It's actually rather touching and just a bit sad.)
(I've always wanted sons, so I'm not complaining.)
(Except when even Prowl's gotten used to it and everyone comes to me to complain when they've been little shits again.)
(That and the faces visitors make when "MA! SIDES SCRATCHED MY PAINT AGAIN!" comes screaming across base are always hilarious.)
120. Please don't switch the coffee to decaf and three weeks later change it to exspresso.
(Some of us have caffeine addictions and get severe headaches if we don't get our fix.)
(Ratchet was getting really worried when people started to fall asleep in the middle of morning formation.)
(Fig fell right into a mud puddle mid PT last week. He didn't bother to get up. He just layed there and let himself be stepped on. He actually fell asleep.)
(Red Alert was worried that this was some kind of chemical warfare by the Decepticons.)
(But then the expresso came and everything was even more chaotic, if that's possible.)
121. Do not tell the Transformers riddles. It makes them glitch.
(My favorite riddle to ask is "What it the longest four letter word?")
(No one has ever gotten it until, surprisingly, Skids and Mudflap figured it out.)
(Most of the others guessed words like "Long.")
(The answer is "Life.")
122. Do blast 'Bohemian Rhapsody' on the PA and have everyone sing/scream along.
(No matter what Magnus says, this was not a flash mob! Those require dancing.)
(It was a flash musical.)
(It was so much fun though! There were people air guitaring and pretending to play the drums everywhere.)
(People even pulled out their lighters and waved them around.)
(I got Magnus to dance a little bit with me!)
(Until my boys decided they wanted to dance with their mother during the slow part, which was really sweet.)
123. You don't have to give me a late Mother's Day present guys.
(Though I really appreciate it, I really do.)
(Even if it's just getting Skywarp back from breaking my ankle on accident.)
(WHICH HE ALREADY APOLOGIZED FOR!)
(Also, it freaks out Magnus when you say you're gonna get him a Father's Day gift.)
(... *sigh*...)
124. Do not narrate someone's every move over the PA or right next to them.
("Oh, look at the rare Director in her natural habitat, serenely performing her daily inspection of the rec room and conversing with who might be her future mate.")
("Notice how she postures herself, hoping to allure him to her side.")
(I can hear you guys.)
("Oh no, the Director and her potential mate have noticed me. I have interuppted their mating dance, also known as the confusing and mysterious act of flirting.")
(Seriously, I'm gonna kill you both.)
(The Director is now angry with me, glaring hatefully in the direction she knows I'm in. She's turning red! She's coming this way! No, they both are! ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! IF I DON'T MAKE IT OUT OF THIS ALIVE, TELL MY FAMILY I LOVE THEM! AHHHHHHH! *ack*)
(Seriously, that boy is rediculous.)
(Magnus: What was that about flirting? Were you flirting with me Katherine?)
(Hehehe... maybe... *blushes*)
(Leo, Fig)
125. Don't try to trip me or I will hit you with my crutches.
(I will hit you in a place I KNOW will hurt. No matter your species.)
126. Do not wake up the occupants of base with a megaphone or a blowhorn.
(A lot of the soldiers are veterans from before joining NEST and certainly after. Some of them are prone to keeping weapons under their pillows or on their bedsides.)
(If you still want to do it, do so at your own risk.)
(Lennox, Epps, and Fig, who are now in the Medbay with bullet grazes)
127. You are no longer allowed to keep guns in your assigned quarters unless you are an officer.
(Will is making me write this 'cuz he's BITTER.)
(Lennox: I got shot at for waking the soldiers Kathy!)
(BITTER.)
128. Do not attempt to tickle a bot's Holoform.
(There's no real reason for this rule, just that it's to avoid from doing in vain.)
(The bots aren't ticklish because they can't understand why we are. They can't make their Holoforms ticklish.)
(So all it looks like is that you're being weird.)
(THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN TICKLE HUMANS. IF YOU EVEN TRY, I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FACE.)
129. Do not start a prank war with the Lambo Twins.
(Please avoid starting a war. Ratchet can't handle the sudden influx of casualties.)
(Besides, we can't afford the therapy.)
(Even if you do start a war, it won't matter because MY BOYS WILL END YOU.)
130. Do not over-wax the hallways. It's hard enough for the bots to avoid us as is.
(Though it is fun to see a bunch of people go by my open door doing sock races.)
(I'd join in but Magnus is a cruel paperwork master. But I will when I'm done for the day.)
(I just heard a loud boom and the building shook. I guess there's no more racing for the day.)
(Strange how when I went to the Medbay for Ratchet to check my ankle, Bumblebee was on a berth with a dent on his helm...)
AN2: Well there ya go guys! I hope you enjoyed this one! Please remember to send in rules and requests!