Hey guys, it's time for me to update again! I know that I don't really have a schedule at the moment, but at least for now, I'll try to get a new chapter or two up every few days! At least once a week! But don't freak if I stop updating. It might just be because I've lost interest or been really busy like the last couple days. But this 'schedule' should stick up until I start school in August or until I get a steady job. *fingers crossed* If you live in the Chattanooga area and you know anyone who needs a babysitter, PLEASE PM ME! I really need a job or I might not be able to afford college.

Anyway, here's some new rules. There should be a oneshot coming up either later today or tomorrow. To the person who requested it, I know I told you yesterday, but I got really busy and today's been too! I'm sorry! To Guest: Thank you for you review! That's exactly what I was going for. If you're still curious, I like to think Kathy came in after Rise of The Fallen, so Sideswipe had already been on Earth for at least a few months before she came in, same for Skids and Mudflap. So she didn't have to deal with them not knowing or not being able to understand them (read: as much as you can understand Skids and Mudflap, are you sure they know english?) like she did with Sunstreaker. That, and Sunny's a dick anyway, so he might have just been acting like a jerk. Don't worry though, she stomped (read: MOST) of the jerk out of him, so now he's just a little shit with primadonna syndrome. Much more agreeable don't you think?

TO ALL MY NON-ANONYMOUS REVIEWERS: Thank you so much for your lovely comments and support! This is probably the most popular story I've had! I'm usually just a lurker, and when I do write, I give up or lose interest rather quickly, like I almost did with this story. Though that wasn't really my fault, but the fault of mental illness. I'm still very sorry to those who read this at the begining and how I just dissapeared. But I'm slowly getting better and I really hope I keep this up like I have been. I think it's made really good therapy. If it's been more than a month since I posted a new chapter, please don't be afraid to send me a PM and kick my butt in gear. If you have any questions, you can either ask in a review and wait until the next chapter or just send me a message. I don't mind getting either, I love answering questions.

Also, I'd like to thank Starlit Storyteller,ThePegasusDevice ,TriplechangerSpeedster1 , emzydatffan , and AetheriusStorm for some of the rules this chapter! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION!

*blows kisses at all of you* Let's get this show on the road!

*insert standard disclaimer here*

131. Never dress up Ironhide, Ratchet, or Sunstreaker as Disney Princesses.

(So it was Annabelle's birthday last week. She just turned 8 and she wanted princesses. But she also wanted princes. Then she wanted Princes in princess dresses.)

(So we gave her Princes in Princess dresses damnit.)

(Ironhide was easy, obviously. He's got a soft spot for kids. With his blonde hair, he decided that Cinderella was the least embarassing thing he could wear. He wore the headband and everything.)

(I didn't realize you could get muscles that big from doing chores all day.)

(Ratchet did Belle from Beauty and the Beast because she's the 'smartest one.' Yeah whatever.)

(Belle's gotten older since the last time I saw her.)

(Surprisingly enough, it was Sunstreaker who was the easiest to convince to do it. Of course he claims he looks good in ANYTHING, even dresses. He went for Rapunzel and made his hair look super long.)

(There was a competion about who had the best costume at the end of the party and who ever won got to dance with the birthday girl herself.)

(No one was surprised when Ironhide won.)

132. Do not give Judy brownies.

(EVER.)

(Especially not your special, organic brownies Sharsky!)

(On another note, those are some pretty damn good brownies...)

(N-Not... that I had one or anything.)

(That would be a bad example.)

(...*wipes chocolate off the corner of her mouth*...)

133. Jazz, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and Skywarp are not allowed to walk around base while overcharged on high grade.

(This should really go unsaid.)

(We have a ninja bot, two notorious pranksters who aren't the most intelligent when SOBER (read: Jet Judo), and a F-22 who can TELEPORT AT WILL.)

(Yeah, those four wandering around hammered off their afts won't end in tears AT ALL.)

(The last time they were allowed to do so, Skywarp thought it'd be a great idea to fly around base trying to avoid Sunny and Sides who were trying to practice their 'Jet Judo' on him. It was Skywarp's idea.)

(They were in Medbay for about a week at least.)

(If you are human and you see any of these four wandering around base, go get a transformer to help out.)

(If you are a transformer and you see one of these four wandering around base, got get a transformer who's bigger than you.)

(You have been warned.)

134. Don't try and scare the base kids.

(Especially Annabelle.)

(They've probably seen more shit than you have newbie.)

(I know you're a newbie because any vet knows better than to even THINK about freaking out the base kids.)

(Ask Ironhide and Ratchet about what happened to those two soldiers who pretended to pull their arms off right outside the 4th Grade class' window.)

(Go ahead and ask.)

(We can afford to send you to about a month of therapy until you have to start paying out of pocket.)

135. Do not, under ANY circumstances, turn away the Girl Scouts.

(Screw the thinmints, I need my samoas and savannah smiles damn it.)

(We NEVER turn away Girl Scouts!)

(Hell, I drive into town just to buy from them. That's a thirty mile drive!)

(Besides, they have puppy eyes almost as bad as Bumblebee.)

136. Do not let the base kids keep any stray or wild animals they find.

(We live in the middle of the desert.)

(If it isn't venomous already, it will be.)

(We already had a kid sent to Medbay because they found a 'lizard with no legs Mama! Look, it's makin' a funny noise!')

(Yeah... it was a rattlesnake.)

(He's fine though! He made a full recovery!)

137. Make sure there are no base kids around before watching an adult/scary movie.

(There are no exceptions to this rule.)

(And make sure the door is locked if it's an 'adult' movie please.)

(The bots still haven't learned to knock.)

(They start asking questions.)

(It's super awkward.)

138. If a door is shut, please remember to knock.

(Just because you guys can see through walls at will doesn't mean you have to be rude.)

(Besides, that's creepy.)

(But this goes for humans as well.)

(If Magnus and I are interrupted one more damn time while we're trying to talk about our bond, I will end you.)

(Even if you're an officer. I don't give a shit.)

(Optimus Prime, Soundwave, Jazz, Prowl, Bumblebee, Leo, Lennox, Epps, and Miles)

139. Throw your gum in the TRASH.

(Or you will be scraping it off the peds of the Cybertronians who step on it.)

(They're not flexible enough to do it them selve and most are unwilling to touch gum even in their holoforms.)

(Also, the Hatchet refuses to do it himself.)

140. Please remember that many Cybertronians are violent when angered, especially Decepticons.

(A good chunk of our forces now consist of ex-cons and Decepticon-Neutrals.)

(Cons are not known for having the patience of Buddha himself.)

(Starscream, despite now being a father figure to a rather traumatized little girl, is still very quick to anger and can be cruel bastard when he wants to be.)

(Shockwave is a mad scientist and it's better to just stay out of his way in general.)

(Soundwave is actually rather pleasant as long as you don't threaten his kids.)

(Barricade is... Well, he's Barricade.)

141. Do NOT ask Kira about why she lives with the Seekers or where her parents are. (SAD RULE. I will NOT do a one shot about this one. NO EXCEPTIONS.)

(If you do, you're either really stupid or an asshole.)

(Her mother was a norwegian scientist who worked here at NEST and her father was a danish science teacher at the Base School. Summer came and they went back home to Norway. Kira wasn't in school yet and had been staying with some family friends until then.)

(They happened to live in an area that didn't approve of the transformers being on Earth and weren't exactly quiet about what they did for a living.)

(... Let's just say there's a reason Kira is afraid of fire and leave it at that.)

142. Some of the cybertronians are very good singers... and some are not.

(For his rather lovely speaking voice, Optimus is a very bad singer.)

(Ironhide and Ratchet actually do a very pleasant drunk kareoke duet.)

(Unforetunately, none of my boys are good singers at all, not even in cybertronian.

(Bumblebee and Soundwave are AMAZING! Both of them were sparked from Artisanal class parents and were trained to be musicians. Bumblebee was still in training when the War started, but Soundwave had been famous for YEARS.)

143. If you follow me to the store, no cart races!

(Did you know that Holoforms can be away from their real bodies up to 200 321 km miles away? I didn't.)

(The kitchen was running low on food right? Well, I 'borrowed' one of those big army trucks and headed to the nearest bulk-buy store, which was about 75 120 km miles away.)

(Except, my boys wanted to go with me because they've never been inside a grocery store. For good reason.)

(I knew that bad things would happen if I took them, I knew better. I did, really)

(The trip there wasn't really that bad actually. We talked about my childhood and how it compared to theirs and what their interests were. Complained about the heat because, of course, I just had to pick the one fucking truck on base that didn't have air conditioning. We jammed out to the radio and played punch buggy. It was good bonding time.)

(It was when we got there that things went to shit. Because I decided to let them drive the buggies I needed.)

(I told them rather quickly, once they discovered how fast the buggies could actually go, that they could race with them, but only if they didn't get destroyed AND they waited until we were done shopping and the shit was in the truck. They agreed.)

(Once that torture was done, and everything was packed up, the tournament began. Oh it was glorious. They got sticks, from I don't know where, and began JOUSTING with them. It was really cool.)

(You know, until some asshole driver almost ran me over and then yelled at me for 'being in the middle of the road'.)

(Of coure, Skids and Mudflap took offence to this, and while Sunny and Sides were checking to make sure I was alright, slammed their buggies into the side of Douchebag Macgee's brand new truck.)

(As you can probably tell already, a fight broke out.)

(Yes, the cops were called. Yes, both Prowl AND Barricade showed up. And yes, my boys completely kicked that guy's ass.)

(They're still not allowed to go shopping with me anymore.)

144a. Do not yell "DOGPILE!" while pointing at a random 'bot or con and have all the base kids dogpile on said mech.

(Some will find it funny... and some will not. Most do though. It's just finding the right one.)

(Optimus couldn't stop laughing when we did it to him.)

(Ironhide is used to it and I think secretly likes it, despite his yelling about it otherwise.)

(Barricade hates it and we don't usually do it to him anyway because of his claws.)

144b. Similarly, don't use bots as jungle gyms.

(According to almost every base kid, including Annabelle and Kira, Soundwave makes the BEST jungle gym. I'm guessing it's all the tentacles. Makes for cool monkey bars.)

145. Quoting Calvin & Hobbes is forbidden.

("SIR, WEEKENDS DON'T COUNT UNLESS YOU SPEND THEM DOING SOMETHING COMPLETELY POINTLESS, SIR!" A random soldier during inspection after being asked by Will what he did over the weekend. It was, of course, counted correct.)

("Reality continues to ruin my life! As usual!" Me to Magnus a few days ago when I woke up from a nap after dreaming that I didn't have work to do for the rest of the week. I was grumpy for the rest of the day.)

("Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?" "As far as you're to know, we don't have any dear." A conversation Sideswipe and I had last week. He found them anyway. We don't have a printer anymore.)

("Ratchet, what's wrong with me?" "It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw." "AHHHHHHH! *runs out of room*" Leo and Ratchet when it was time for Leo's monthly check up and Ratchet kept making dissaproving/worried noises. He's got a wicked sense of humor for an old bot.)

("I'm a simple man, Will. "You? Yesterday you wanted a nuclear powered car that could turn into a jet with laser-guided heat-seeking missiles!" "I'm a simple man with complex tastes." Epps to Lennox just this morning at breakfast. I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard.)

And there it is everybody! I hope you enjoyed!~ *blows kisses at you all* Have a good night. I'll try to have that oneshot up in a bit but this chapter alone took more that two hours so yeah.