6. Already Too Far Down.

Jade returned to school and sat on the floor outside the door to the Black Box theater, waiting for rehearsal to end so she could take Cat home and pretend the whole day never happened. She thumped the back of her head against the wall rhythmically, trying to remove the images of living with her father again out of her head by brute force. She scrunched up her face and allowed herself to moan whiningly for just a moment. When she heard the voices and footsteps of the cast heading out of the theater, though, she scrambled to her feet and composed herself in a matter of seconds. Jade grabbed Cat's arm as soon as she saw the tiny girl with the red velvet cupcake hair.

"Bye guys!" Cat waved cheerily as Jade dragged her away. "Hi Jadey, where have you been?"

"Nowhere fun," Jade responded sourly as they left the building.

"Ohhh," Cat nodded. "I've never heard of that, where is it?"

Jade just rolled her eyes.

Tuesday passed in much of the same fashion as Monday, with the exception that Cat managed to drag Jade to the regular lunch table with the rest of the group.

"Hi guys!" Cat chirped, sitting next to Tori at the Asphalt Cafe. Jade balked, standing by the table. Her fingers were turning white as she clutched the plastic container that held her salad. "Jadey, come sit next to me!"

Cat patted the spot on the bench to her left and Jade reluctantly sat. She glanced up to where Robbie sat, his eyes averted, as she dropped her lunch onto the metal table. She frowned, clicking the plastic lid open and picking at the wilting lettuce. Andre arrived to save everyone from the silence.

"Hello ladies and gentleman!" he called as he approached. Beck was close behind him, texting someone and looking amused.

"Hey you forgot Jade," Rex said. "You didn't greet any coldblooded she-devils."

Beck looked up from his phone, frowning at Robbie. Rex just chortled and Robbie started eating his soup guiltily.

"Speaking of blood," Jade said, sitting up. "Vega, you need to rein in your repulsive sister."

"Oh God," Tori whined. "What did she do?"

"Just ask her what she asked me yesterday morning," Jade replied, rolling a tomato around with her fork.

"Ugh, I swear I'm gonna kill her if she keeps—" Tori stopped herself suddenly, clapping a hand over her mouth. Jade glanced around the table and saw Tori's wide-eyed expression mirrored on everyone else's faces (except Beck, who's most shocked expression was a raised eyebrow). Jade groaned inwardly, knowing Tori had ruined any chance this lunch had of being at all normal. For the rest of the period, everyone tiptoed around her, and immediately shut up if anything remotely related to crime or court or accusations was accidentally brought up, be it fictional or metaphorical or not. Robbie visibly paled when he said he would kill for the new PearPad. Andre stuttered his way out of "I thought I was going to die," instead describing how he was about to "diagnose" his math test. Jade decided to ignore this awkwardness, commenting as bluntly as she could on every little issue she could think of, verbally slamming Robbie and Tori, her easiest targets. But she could see that they weren't frightened or impressed by her — the Scooby Gang saw her as a person about to go over the edge. She wasn't dangerous to them anymore. She wondered when that started as she dumped her uneaten salad in the trash.

Wednesday stepped up the awkwardness when Sikowitz obliviously set up an improv scene about a woman wrongfully accused of murdering her husband. Jade wasn't chosen to go up on stage, but those that were kept glancing at her, hesitating continuously. She paid no attention to their nervous eyes, coolly checking her nails or her phone whenever she sensed someone looking her way. But when the bell rang, she was first out of the classroom.

Thursday wasn't much better. Jade felt herself falling into a holding pattern, treading water in this state of not-quite-back-to-normal (which led to questions of what is normal?). She avoided the others as much as possible, beginning to dread the way she didn't fit with them anymore. The Scooby Gang really did only have five members. She told herself it didn't matter, that they were Beck's friends to begin with, and her friendship with them ended as surely as her relationship with him. Just before the end of the last period of the day, Jade gathered up her books and left class, stopping at the vending machine by the janitor's closet for something to drink. When she turned around, sipping her Mocha Cola, she saw a familiar sight that shouldn't have given her the rush of warmth that it did. Beck was waiting by her locker.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" she asked coldly, twirling the lock until she could open the scissor-decorated door.

"I saw you leaving and I figured you were going to the custody hearing."

"You figured right," she shoved a few textbooks into her locker with a series of heavy thuds.

"Will you call me after? Tell me what happened?"

"If I have time."

"Thanks."

She pushed the locker door closed.

"So, I'll talk to you later?" he confirmed hesitantly.

"We'll see."

Jade shoved her mostly empty soda can into his hand and left, letting the doors to Hollywood Arts swing shut behind her.

"Hello?"

"You wanted me to call. I'm calling."

"How did it go?"

"It was…" Jade paused, sighing. "It was a nightmare."

"And?"

"And my dad expects me to be moved in by next week."

There was silence, and Beck let out a breath. Jade could picture him puffing out his cheeks.

"So you're going to be living with him."

"Yep."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Nope."

"Did you tell the judge that?"

"Nope."

"Okay… why?"

"Because it was a lost cause. Nobody cares. My dad is wealthy and white and has a 'stable home life.' And, as the social worker told me on Monday, 'there are kids out there who have it a lot worse.'"

"Okay…?"

"And my father told the judge he wanted to 'start to repair his relationship' with me."

"Really? Well… That's good, I guess…."

"Right," Jade scoffed.

"I still don't get why you didn't talk to the judge."

"Well, what are my other options?"

"…what do you mean?"

"I mean, where would I go if not with him?"

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

"There's gotta be somewhere."

"There isn't."

There was a thoughtful pause.

"What about Cat's?"

"Yeah," Jade sighed. "I guess it's possible. I just don't see how her parents could afford to keep me, especially since I know they're looking at a special home for her brother. Anyway, I don't know how many more nights I could spend in a room that pink."

Beck chuckled.

"I've gotta start packing up the house," Jade commented, sounding burnt-out.

"Jade, I'm sorry," Beck said suddenly.

"…for what?" Jade asked suspiciously.

"Just…that this happened to you. You don't deserve to live somewhere you don't feel loved and respected."

Jade opened her mouth, then shut it again, not quite sure what to say. She settled for a quiet "thanks."

"Do you want help packing this weekend?"

"I probably could use it," Jade admitted. "But no, I'm fine."

"I can stop by tomorrow afternoon."

"No, don't bother. I'll be fine on my own."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I don't think I'm going to go to school tomorrow. I'll spend the day packing. Tell Sikowitz I was summoned into a league of dragon fighters for the weekend or something."

"Will do. Are you riding the dragons or slaying them?"

"Probably both."

"Got it." She could hear him smiling just before she hung up.

She was in the bedroom — her bedroom, not the eighteen square feet of pink monstrosities Cat had designed. Jade had already stripped the mattress before moving in with the Valentines, so it wasn't particularly comfortable, but it smelled right. It didn't smell like flowers and sugar and everything Cat. It smelled like home. But it wasn't. Her new home was with her father and his wife, and it would probably smell like lemons and bleach and the most expensive liquor money can buy. So Jade spent the night alone in her empty house, breathing deeply.

There is no war if you're already dead.

Enjoy!