Hey lovelies! I know I updated TWICE yesterday, but I need some way of venting out some frustration because that babysitting job has gotten a little complicated and just uuugggghhh. :P
Anyway, I'd like to thank ThePegasusDevice and Dewdrop of DiamondDust for their contributions to today's chapter. To the guest who requested the rule on 3d Maneuver Gear: I'm sorry but I have decided to NOT use that rule at this time, seeing as I don't know the interests of my readers and whether or not they'd get the reference. I'd rather not have my readers have to research any of the rules I use. I'm really sorry. I'll post it if people show some interest though!
*blows kisses at you all*
-insert standard disclaimer here-
161. Do not give yourself an intro song. You are not Ironman nor are you in a movie/anime.
(I wonder what my intro song would be? THIS IS A REVIEWER QUESTION! WHAT DO YOU THINK KATHY'S SONG SHOULD BE?)
162. Do not recreate those Thomas Sanders Disney Pranks.
(My personal favorite is when he puts ketchup on his thumb and goes "Siiimmmbbaaaa" across his friends forehead while he's asleep.)
(Magnus doesn't like pranks.)
(Did you know that Galloway is afraid of bugs? Miles and Sam do. And so does the rest of base!)
(Sunstreaker and Sideswipe like to pick me up and scream "SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY!")
(Leo looks surprisingly good in red lipstick.)
(Not that I would know... *coughcough*)
163. Don't mess with the if base kids are using them.
(This means complaining about the show, changing the channel without asking, and stealing the remote.)
(If you do this, you are an ass.)
(Also, be prepared to lose your hearing, because DAMN these kids can scream.)
164. Crosshairs and Drift have a sibling-like friendship bond. NOT a romantic one.
(Quit asking or questioning them about it. It's rude.)
(If they say they're brothers, they're brothers damn it. Only they can change their bond.)
(The last soldier who bugged them about it was lucky Crosshairs only felt like stranding him on top of a roof.)
165. For anyone not Crosshairs (again): Please, for the life of the director, do NOT try mimicking his more insane gymnastic stunts (such as backsaulting during a back flip to reload two guns at once).
(We just got in a couple of Marines who think they're hot shit or something.)
(The only reason he manages not to hurt himself when he does it is because he's been doing for so long.)
(Well that and like any self-respecting Cybertronian on base, he has a healthy fear of the Hatchet.)
166. Crosshairs, stop shooting holes in every door that catches your trench coat.
(We are on a budget man and you're not helping.)
(Yes, I know that it hurts and I'm sorry about that.)
(But automatic doors as big as the average bot are very expensive my friend.)
(Also, are you trying to get the most rules named after you or something?)
167. Don't touch my goddamn Brownie Bites.
(Not even Magnus is allowed to have any.)
(They're MINE. My... my precious...)
(*hisses and holds box to her chest*)
168. You are allowed to have as much junk food as you want, as long as you also eat healthy foods and Ratchet doesn't find out.
(I have an absolute mountain of gummy bears hidden all around base.)
(Miles keeps gum in the weirdest places, let me tell you.)
(Lennox and Epps keep pulling Life Savers out their asses, I swear. That is the only way they always seem to be eating them.)
169. Bullying is not allowed. Period.
(While we are a military base, we also have children all over the place.)
(Most of them are elementary school age. The phrase "Kids can be cruel" was not made up by some poor bastard who'd never met a little kid.)
(I have trust issues and trouble building relationships because of how I was treated growing up. No way in hell am I letting happen to any one else if I can help it.)
(Luckily, I seem to hold a position of authority around here.)
(If you are caught bullying or harrassing someone, whether child or adult, on my base, you are immediately sent to the brig. After which I will be informed.)
(And you will be punished.)
(If you see such an event and don't do anything, you will recieve two demerits and a week in the brig. Once you are released from the brig, you will recieve a... visit... from all four of my suns. Not a typo)
(No Exeptions. No special treatment.)
(Don't fucking ask me again.)
170. When we go to the beach, there shall be no more contests to see who can make the biggest splash.
(It will be the bots. No questions asked.)
(Besides, you guys get too competitive. Yeah, I'm looking at you seekers especially.)
(What were you bird-brains thinking, flying up high and cannon balling into the water? Oh, right!)
(You weren't.)
(Some people almost got hurt!)
(And if I have one more book ruined because of you idiots, I will NOT be happy.)
171. Crosshairs...please, stop pointing your guns at random soldiers as if you're going to shoot them.
(I know it's funny to watch the Marines shit their pants, but still.)
(How many times do I have to tell you people we can't afford the therapy?)
172. "To conquer the world with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate response when asked your goals for the future.
(Especially if you're the director of a Semi-secret military operation and you just happen to point at the Seeker Trine as they walk past.)
(... *whistles innocently*)
173. Don't ask Leo about his website.
(He's really upset that he can't tell anyone about what we do here.)
(He says it goes against his principles.)
(I told him to suck it up.)
174. If you decide you want to own a pet while you are living on base, please inform/request permission from the Director first.
(I really don't mind if you have a pet or two, but I'd like for you to at least tell me first.)
(Hell, I just came back from the local shelter and got me a dog. He's a pitbull named Boss, and he's gun metal grey and he has little squat legs and ahhhhhh.)
175. Despite obvious evidence to the contrary, NEST is not just a really big gated community/small town in the middle of nowhere that just happens to have alien cars living there.
(We are a Military Operation devoted to defeating the Decepticons and creating a firm alliance with our guests from Cybertron.)
(... I can't even fool myself anymore.)
(I swear this place is worse than a kindergarten class on a sugar high.)
(But I love it anyway.)
I reserve the right to pick and choose from the rules given to me by my wonderful reviewers. Thank you for reading and have a good night!