Author's Note: Trigger warning. Mentions of rape and sexual assault below.
Chapter 26:
Zuko entered the hospital room with a heavy heart. His sister looked strangely unrecognizable compared to the little girl who used to run around the yard with him when they had been younger. She was extremely pale with red, glossy eyes. Her cheeks were slightly sunken in and her hair was matted to her head. No wonder she wore loads of make up all the time, Zuko thought, to hide the evidence. She was a million times worse off than Zuko ever was with his addiction, just from looking at her.
"ZuZu," Azula called to him in a soft voice and tried to sit up. She was evidently very weak and very tired. Zuko ran to her, propped the pillows up, and lifted her so she could sit up.
"Azula." It had broken Zuko's heart to see her like this. The Azula he knew would never even be caught dead in public showing any degree of weakness. But of course it wasn't Azula, it was the addiction he was staring at face to face right now. He had found himself crying before the conversation even started.
"Stop it. No one needs your tears. I'm fine."
"No, you're not. The doctors had to pump your stomach and they had to shock you three times because your heart rate was so low. You could've died. Is that what you wanted?"
"No."
"No! No one drinks 3 liters of alcohol and swallow 62 pills without knowing they'll be staring death in the face! Tell me the truth, please."
"My whole body already aches right now. I don't need you judging me."
"Yes, it's called withdrawal. I know all about that aching. I know what an alcoholic looks like, considering I was one. Now I found out you're taking pills too. Azula, you need help. I'll do whatever it takes. I don't want to get a call that you're dead. We can go to family therapy. I can pay for the rehab and the treatments. I'll do it all. Just tell me why you did this."
"I don't have a problem. Everything is just so much more fun when I'm drinking. It's hard to, to be normal. When I'm sober it hurts."
"What hurts Azula?"
"Nothing."
"Azula. Please."
"No."
"Dad isn't here. I promise he won't hurt you. Tell me."
Azula had begun to open her mouth as if words wanted to come out, but quickly paused before she even started. Her voice was laced with pain and hesitation, "I was always jealous of you. Mom loved you. Mom gave you all the affection. Dad never once hugged me or said he loved me. Daddy told me I was perfect, to have money, to be beautiful, to be the best. I couldn't control that my own mother doesn't love me. He told me that it was my right to have absolute control. I couldn't control my brother running off with best friend and taking her away from me. I have NO friends besides people who want me for my money or the cameras. Alcohol won't abandon me. Alcohol won't hate me. Alcohol will always love me no matter how messed up on the inside I am. When you went to rehab I was really all alone. Mai was pregnant and Dad he, he- I can't do this."
Zuko reached out to hold his little sister. She needed his support more now than ever. They had never been close and Zuko had wished they were. Maybe she wouldn't feel so alone.
"He burned you. I remember visiting you in the hospital and you were in so much pain. I, I still can't believe it. That he was capable of that, but to recognize him doing that to you, I would have to recognize that he offered me up to one of investors and had no problem with it."
"What are you saying? That he let someone r-r-"
"You were 18 and just sent to rehab. I was 16. I heard him downstairs arguing with an investor. He was trying to become CEO of the company but this guy wouldn't back him. I went downstairs hearing the noise and, and the way he looked at me. The ceiling paint, it was peeling. They had an unspoken look and Daddy said, 'Will she make you consider giving me the vote?' He smirked at me and nodded. Dad looked at me and said, 'Do what you wish, then.' He, he left me all alone and locked me in the room alone with this man. He said I was beautiful and that I smelled good and he kept calling me kitty. I tried to fight. The damn ceiling paint was peeling. All I remember is how much I wanted to scrape the paint off the ceiling. He knew. He fucking knew and he let it happen. Zuko, he let him-"
"It's okay. I'm here now. I'll protect you. We'll get you help. I'm going to make him pay for this and for everything if it's the last thing I do," Zuko declared.
Zuko cradled his younger sister in his chest as she sobbed 7 years' worth of repressed pain. He had no idea. He couldn't protect her either. Were there no boundaries his father would break for power?
~/~
Zuko needed a break. He felt like everything was crashing in on him at once. As soon as he saw her, he felt an overwhelming amount of security. She was the first one he ever confided in about his father's abuse. He remembered sitting on the old lawn just staring at the stars, sharing their dreams and aspirations. Funny that neither one of them turned out to be the people they wanted to be. Perhaps too much time had passed for things to ever be okay. Even when he got out of rehab, she there waiting for him with their daughter in her arms. Even when she was so damaged, she found time to support him. They had promised each other no matter how bad their arguments got that they would always be there when help was needed. Zuko was holding Mai to that today.
She was gorgeous. No matter how much she had lashed out at him, Zuko could see that deep down she was still that youthful teen girl who wanted to run for president when she was younger. Mai had met him at her house. It was quiet and quaint and made him feel safe. Maya was off at school and at a moment like this he wanted to see her. He couldn't imagine letting any man hurt his daughter.
Mai had made him a cup of coffee, which was something she always used to make for him when things were rough. He liked it boiling hot and black with no sugar or cream. He liked the bitterness and the burn. It translated his emotional state perfectly to a physical medium.
"Are you sure you don't want sugar?" She asked him as she sat down next to her on the couch.
"No." Zuko looked the woman before him and remembered the first time she tried coffee and she spat it all over the table. "I thought you hated coffee."
"I do. I keep it on hand for… for you."
Zuko laughed, reminiscing, "I remember when we tried living together. We tried to paint the walls red and the floors ended up looking like a crime scene happened."
"We were only nineteen but it was great… until you started drinking again."
After the first time he went to rehab he relapsed shortly after at eighteen. He got out with intentions of taking care of Mai and their baby who was only nine months old. He and Mai had gotten back together and moved in to a house with their daughter. The demand was too high for Zuko at the time. All of a sudden he had a child, who he missed the birth of, and a woman who was completely changed, with new expectations for him. Combined with the media and his family's expectations he slipped back into drinking and left Mai again.
"I'm sorry. I get why you're angry. I haven't had the best track record."
"I'm disappointed in the choices you make, Zuko. I know we both need to change and respect each other, but every time I see you, feelings come back."
"I know."
"Okay, what's the issue? You're drinking coffee and you're reminiscing. You're obviously trying to take your mind off something."
"Azula is in the hospital, Mai. She overdosed on alcohol and Xanax. Almost died."
"Oh my God! I didn't know. I wish I had helped her when we were younger. I was her best friend. Maybe if we would've talked more she would be okay."
"Mai, you were going through your own stuff. You were pregnant and heartbroken. Although, maybe you should call her. She has major abandonment issues. She feels like I took you away from her, which could be valid. We were completely obsessed with each other, Mai. Nothing else mattered beyond our relationship."
"I should go see her in the hospital. I feel so horrible about not being a good friend to her. You know we used to go to the parties and she used to black out, but I was a teenager and thought that was what you were supposed to do. I knew it was unhealthy, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything."
"It wasn't your burden, Mai. He abused us both and got upset when his kids turned out as less than perfect."
"I know what he did to you Zuko, but Azula, he always encouraged her. They were so close. I could never imagine him abusing Azula."
"He let someone rape her, Mai. Someone raped my little sister. I was too busy in rehab to protect her. How selfish am I? I'm the worst brother. If I was there… I regret leaving her with him." Zuko put his head in his lap.
"She was WHAT! She never mentioned anything about that to me. So this whole time she's been holding that in. Poor Azula. She needs more help than ever. She wouldn't want you to pity yourself. Zuko, you couldn't have possibly known that he let that happen. You were trying to better yourself and get over your own abuse. You did nothing wrong. Ozai is the terrible person. You protect her to this day, but you couldn't have been there to save her that day. That's not your fault. What she needs now is your strength, not your pity. You are a survivor, Zuko. He abused you too, and you beat him. Look at how you turned out. You have to help Azula do the same."
Mai leaned down and stroked Zuko's head. "You are a survivor. She'll make it."
Zuko picked his head up, his eyes glassy. Mai pulled him into a warm and loving embrace. It was suddenly painless for Zuko. Her arms gripped him, leaving him breathless as she held onto him. He relived his past memories in the comfort of her arms. With one last choking squeeze, he let go of the light that made his darkness fade, and remained floating on their perfect friendship.
Mai pulled back and the silence set in. Their past relationship was so great. It was hard to imagine how they had gotten involved in the vicious arguments.
"I love you, Mai, I do. I would love to have a friendship with you, but we have got to stop fighting with each other. You can't keep Maya away from me anymore. I want you to know that I'm taking you to court again for violating my visitation rights. I don't want a terrible fallout like last time. Can we be civil and agree that we need to co-parent more effectively?"
"I know, and I've been doing it to be spiteful and hurt you. It hurts that you've moved on. I'm sorry. Please don't do that. I could go to jail, Zuko! She needs both parents."
"As a parent, I have the right to exercise my rights that you have been taking from me. If this is what it's going to take for you to maybe be a better person, then so be it. You need to really work on yourself and figure out what makes Mai happy. I know you, and bringing me pain doesn't make you as happy as you think. I'm not doing this to be malicious or hurt you. I want to raise my daughter. Whatever happens in court, don't take it personally."
"I, I appreciate you telling me. I still don't like it. I guess I'll see you in court. Maya should be out of school soon. You're welcome to come. I'm sure she'd love to see her parents together for once."
"Yeah, I'd love to spend time with both of you. That'd be great."
"You sure your 'fiancée' would be happy with us spending time in public together?" Mai gave off a condescending mood.
"See, this is why we can't be civil. You antagonize me, then I have to bite back. We need to stop this cycle. For the sake of change, you know we aren't really engaged. It doesn't matter what she thinks. Let's have fun for once."
"She's important to you. You're in love with her. The way you look at her is the way you used to look at me. Don't ruin it."
Zuko nodded. "So how's your sex life? Mine sucks."
"You are the worst at changing subjects," Mai giggled. "You know, I tried to go on a date the other day and I left something at home, so I drove back. It must not be meant for me to go on a date. Some Muslim chick fell out of her car, and I helped her up. I complimented her ring and then the craziest thing happened. She ran back in her car and one of her random friends threw a full jug of water on me. Like an entire gallon. It was a sign that dates aren't for me."
"Ha, is that so. That's weiiiiiiiiird." Stupid Katara and her stupid friends. "You know, we should have a dinner with the whole family. Maya would like to finally meet her Great-Uncle and Aunt. You can meet Katara in a non-hostile environment. Her brother is having a baby or something. Maya wanted to come to the baby shower. I don't see why you can't come, too. It'll help us clear the air before court."
"Fine, but don't blame me if I get into a fight. Let's go pick up Maya!"
Zuko and Mai got into her car, on their way to pick up their daughter.
"Mai, I know last we met you I accused you of leaking the tape. I know you would never do that."
"What if I know who did? We're turning over a new leaf right?"
Author's Note: Next Chapter: This was a very Zuko-centric chapter. Katara will be back soon.
Next chapter: Zuko, Mai, and Maya cuteness at the park. Zuko helps Katara plan the baby shower ANDDDDD we find out who leaked the tape.
Still to come: Baby Shower Party, Zuko confronts his dad, Mai vs Zuko in court, and many other things.
What do you think of the Mai/ Zuko relationship? Who do you guys think leaked the tape? What do you think of this chapter?