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*insert standard disclaimer here*
176. Don't dive through the open windows of someone's alt form.
(You are not stuntmen. Stop acting like you are.)
(I don't care if Bee's camaro form is perfect for it.)
(Sam, Miles, Leo, Lennox, hell Sunny and Sides did it to THEMSELVES.)
177. Don't use any transformers as Date Cars.
(Even if they say it's okay.)
(Eventually, they'll get sick of driving you around.)
(You'll have to come clean. And won't that be embarrasing?)
(Leo, Sharsky, Fassbinder, Epps)
178. I said no more Calvin & Hobbes!
("See Any UFOs?" "Not yet." "Well, keep your eyes open, they're bound to land here sometime." "What will we do when they come?" "See if we can sell mom and dad into slavery for a star cruiser" Sam and Miles while star watching last week.)
(You boys do realize you're surrounded by alien robots like... all the time right?)
(Sam: Yeah, but they already know my parents. They know better.)
(... True.)
("MA, CAN I SET FIRE TO MY BERTH?" "No, Sideswipe." "CAN I DRIVE ON THE ROOF?" "No, Sideswipe.""Then can I have an energon sweet?""No, Sideswipe." "She's on to me.")
(Damn straight I am.)
("Summer is butter on your chin and corn mush between every tooth." Me when asked why I enjoy summer so much even though I hate the heat.)
("I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian." Miles and I after Ratchet asked us why we liked sweets so much.)
179. Touch my stashes of gummy bears only if you're prepared to defend your very life.
(Gummy bears are my favorite food, okay?)
(...)
(Don't fucking judge me.)
180. Do NOT sneak up behind Sunstreaker and Crosshairs, then sing over the P.A. system 'Sunny and Crossy sitting in a tree...' etc. whenever they happen to agree on the same thing (not unheard of).
(I have no idea how Miles managed to do it.)
(I think he got Soundwave's help.)
(Or maybe Rumble and Frenzy's.)
(They can be bribed with energon sweets relatively easily.)
181. Do not scratch Sunstreaker's paint.
(You'd think this would go without saying, you really would.)
(Sunny is not particulary sane, especially for an autobot. The only reason he's a bot is because Sideswipe is.)
(If you do scratch his paint, you better be prepared to get your dumb ass run over.)
(There are only three people in existence that can calm him down.)
(Sideswipe, Fig, and me.)
(And sometimes even we can't manage to do it.)
182. No more drag races through the desert.
(The tires on you guys' alt modes are not made for off road terrain.)
(So while the races are fun, the wipeouts are not.)
(Especially if you happen to have a human inside when you wipeout.)
(The only reason I didn't die was because I was wearing my seatbelt. As it stands, I still got whiplash from when we rolled over.)
(Safety first kids.)
(Also, Ratchet goes ballistic when drag races are even brought up.)
183. Officially, the Director does not condone base wide pranks.
(So if you ask me if it's okay, I have to say no.)
(But ONLY if you ask me. You have to physically go up to me and ask before I can say no.)
(But if you, say, send me an email... )
(... *winks*...)
184. Jump ropes are not whips nor should they be used as such.
(Some of the base kids can be cruel little shits sometimes.)
(Personally, I blame Lennox and Epps.)
(So... many... welts...)
185. Do not replace ammo with paintballs.
(Megatron was turned pink again! I had Sideswipe take a picture for me and now it's hanging in my office!)
(Bumblebee made a few decepticons look like they had chicken pox.)
(I think the seekers had a lot of fun dropping big barrels of paint on the battlefield.)
(Moral is up a lot right now. Sunstreaker didn't notice he was lime green for nearly two hours, he had so much fun!)
(The only reason he did was because some soldier mistaked him for Crosshairs.)
186. Don't play pranks on civilians.
(Yeah, Miles and Barricade, I'm looking at you!)
(They stole Sarah's hairdryer and went to a busy part of the highway, then pretended to cops looking for speeders.)
(People actually slowed down. ._. )
187. Don't have the bots try Harry Potter candies.
(Bumblebee did not like those Every Flavor Beans. At. All.)
(Magnus and Optimus didn't mind Jelly Slugs. They don't have much flavor but they're fun to eat.)
(I need to find a better recipe for butterbeer. Maybe an alchoholic one? Hmm.)
188. The following movies are now banned from base.
(1. Atlantis:The Lost Empire. PROWL YOU FRAGHEAD. THIS IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE!)
(2. Jurassic Park and any of it's sequels: These are also some of my favorite movies, but it's more understandable. The Dinobots start to get... antsy if they watch any of them.)
(3. Into The Woods (2014): Ironhide and Prowl don't like the rapeyness of 'Little Girl.' It's my favorite musical.)
(4. Pokemon Movies: I know they're not very good and most of the time they don't make sense, but they help me feel nostalgic. Prowl, you're a jerk.)
(5. Any Studio Ghibli Movies: Ha. Haha. HAHAHA... *picks up her favorite baseball bat and grins slightly maniacally* Yeah... Prowler and I need to have a little... talk. I'll be right back.)
(But I can't promise he will.)
189. You can't just 'move' other vehicles out of your way during a traffic jam.
(Patient, you are not.)
(This means everyone! Including Optimus AND Prowl!)
(Even da law breaks da law.)
(Hehehe... Yeah, I'll just leave now.)
190. Marbles should not be scattered around various hallways. Ever.
(Especially during an emergency.)
(It is hilarious to see a bot running down the hallway and then suddenly be flat on their back though.)
(It wasn't any of the usual suspects or me, so I have no idea who it was.)
(We later found out that it was a false alarm, but several bots still had to go to the Medbay.)
(Red Alert has seemed particulary pleases with himself lately. Oh.)
(That sly bastard. I applaud you.)
Hope you guys enjoyed this new installment of Rules Of Nest! Please remember to check out the links on my profile! *blows kisses at you all* Have a good day!