10. You're Like a Party.

"Are you kidding me?" Jade asked Sikowitz. It was partway through lunch, and she'd returned to the classroom.

"I try my very hardest not to," Sikowitz responded.

"Then why? Why?" Jade spread her arms. "My audition was stellar. I am perfect for this part."

Sikowitz sipped his coconut, watching Jade like a scientist observing his experiment.

"I don't understand what is so great about her," Jade said, her face falling.

"Who, Tori?"

"Yes, Tori."

"Well," Sikowitz laid his coconut aside. "For starters, she doesn't throw a temper tantrum when she doesn't get a role."

"Because she's never not gotten a role! She's gotten everything her pretty little heart desires."

"Maybe. But honestly, Jade, no one cares what you think about my casting," Sikowitz was more serious than Jade had ever seen him. There was no humor, no sparkle, in his eyes. "I don't care, Tori doesn't care, the President of the United States doesn't care. When you are casting a play, you can do whatever you want. But for now, you are a student. So after school today, you will be at rehearsal for our first read-through of the script, and you will not be behaving like a spoiled child."

"Fine," Jade said quietly. She held her head high, but her bottom lip was quivering and hot tears were pricking her eyes. She skipped the last two periods of the day to sit in the janitor's closet with a garbage can wedged beneath the handle of the door so no one could see her cry.

Jade slammed her bag down on the floor and chucked her keys out of sight, making as much racket as she possibly could. Rehearsal was mind-numbingly boring (for her at least), and lasted a good two hours longer than it was supposed to. It was already after five. She violently searched the fridge for something to drink, settling for a bottle of "natural spring water." The doorbell rang as she leaned tensely against the kitchen counter. Gripping the bottle in her hand, she stalked to the entrance and tore open the front door. Her anger was momentarily forgotten as she took in the sight of Alyssa Vaughn on her doorstep.

"What do you want?" Jade asked, surprised.

"Um… Does Celia live here?" Alyssa asked politely. She paused. "Wait a second… Are you Jade West?"

"I could be."

"Oh my gosh it's so good to meet you!" Alyssa looked like she might hug Jade. The look in Jade's eye seemed to stop her. "I didn't know Celia had a daughter."

"She doesn't."

"Then—"

"She's married to my father."

"Oh. And you're dating Beck, right?"

"Wrong. We broke up. Months ago."

"Oh," Alyssa's face fell. "I'm really sorry to hear that."

"I bet you are," Jade crossed her arms. "Now what do you want?"

"I need to deliver these," Alyssa held up a sheaf of papers, "to Celia. It's info for a charity dinner she's holding with my mom. She does live here, right?"

"…yeah."

"Do you know when she'll be home?"

"Probably soon," Jade said with a shrug.

"Do you mind if I wait for her?"

"Whatever," Jade stepped aside to let Alyssa Vaughn into her house. She left Alyssa standing awkwardly in the entryway, returning to the kitchen with food on her mind. Not three minutes later she heard Celia and Alyssa squealing their hellos. Biting viciously into an apple, Jade began the walk to go destroy something (hopefully something expensive) in the privacy of her bedroom. She caught a snippet of their conversation that stopped her in her tracks:

"Alyssa, you look gorgeous! What are you all dressed up for?" Celia was asking slyly.

"Oh, there's a party tonight out on Venice Beach. I'm actually headed there now to pick up some friends and help set up, I just wanted to make sure you got all of these."

Jade pondered for a moment, pursing her lips. A party. With a decisive nod, she crunched her apple and finished her climb up the steps.

The party was already raging, and wealthy suburban boys were already getting drunk, when Jade managed to sneak out at nine that night. A throng of people were dancing near a set of speakers blasting music so loud Jade could feel the bass vibrating in her shoes. It didn't take long for her to be offered a drink by a blond boy in Sperry's who introduced himself as Sean or John or Ron or something. She'd nodded with a coy smile, batting long eyelashes flirtatiously. When he returned, however, Jade took the red Solo cup he'd meant to keep for himself and stalked off toward the music. Drinks later (she'd really lost count), she was in the middle of the dancing crowd, moving to the beat with four newfound friends. She hardly noticed the boy next to her was biting his bottom lip as he danced.

"I'm getting a drink," she shouted over the music to the guys dancing near her. Then, shoulder leading, she pushed her way to the edge of the mob.

"What are you doing here?" a voice said from behind her as she sipped her refilled plastic cup. She turned to find Beck, looking concerned.

"Having fun," she said haughtily. She laughed, stumbling and spilling a bit of her drink onto the sand. "What are you doing here?"

"Alyssa invited me. And I think you've had enough," Beck said, extending his arm to take her cup. She held it out of his reach.

"No way, I'm just getting started!"

"No, actually, you're drunk," Beck contradicted, settling for knocking the drink out of her hand.

"You asshole!" Jade shouted. "Why do you always have to come around and ruin everything?"

"I ruin everything?" Beck looked at his former girlfriend in disbelief and no small amount of mirth.

"Yes, you do. You ruined my life," Jade sneered.

"How in God's name did I ruin your life?" Beck rolled his eyes.

"You're always—" Jade was cut off by someone bumping into her. She pushed the guy out of her way and stomped off to the fringe of the party, Beck following close behind.

"You were saying?" Beck asked, challenging. He didn't look so amused anymore.

"You…you're always…cold," Jade said finally.

"Cold," Beck looked at Jade like he might look at Cat's brother.

"Yes, cold! It's like you don't feel anything. And you hate that I feel things. You hate that I have emotions, and that I get offended, or that I like something — unless it's about you. That's why you're always bothering me. Because it makes you feel something."

"What?" Beck looked down at her, bewildered. "That makes absolutely zero sense. And I don't bother you!"

"Yes you do!" Jade shouted. "Because you don't know how to live without me!"

Apparently a drunk Jade was an overly confident, romantic-dramedy-worthy Jade.

"I'm doing just fine without you," Beck argued, clearly getting angry. But Jade ignored the tension in his forehead and plowed on.

"Then why do you keep calling me?"

"Why shouldn't I? We're friends!"

"We are not friends!"

"Why not?!"

"Because I'm trying to forget you!" Jade's face crumpled into an expression of sheer anguish. He was taken aback by the pain in her eyes.

"What?" he said finally, blinking.

"I'm trying to forget you," Jade repeated, softer. "And if you want me to succeed with that, if you want me to forget about you, you need to leave me alone!"

Beck was opening his mouth to respond when suddenly Alyssa's hand was on his shoulder.

"Is everything okay?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

"Everything's fine," Beck said coldly. Jade took a shaky breath, trying to hold in her tears.

"I-I think I'm going to head home…." she mumbled.

"Have you been drinking?" Alyssa asked kindly.

"No, I'm my own designated driver," Beck responded with half a smile. He seemed suddenly unperturbed.

"I wasn't talking to you," Alyssa said, her voice suddenly sharp. "Jade? Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Been drinking."

"Not…not a lot…." Jade squeezed her eyes shut against her headache.

"Well… Let me drive you home anyway, come on," Alyssa put her arm around Jade and led her away.

"Th-that's my car," Jade slurred as they passed it.

"I'll have someone pick it up for you," she said. "Do you have your keys?"

Jade slapped her keys into Alyssa's hand without a second thought. She didn't realize until right then just how many drinks she'd had in such a short amount of time. Alyssa helped her into her own convertible — well, it was usually a convertible. The nauseatingly yellow car had a roof over it tonight, most likely to prevent any unwanted 'guests' from clambering into Alyssa's backseat. Jade thumped her head against the headrest with a groan as Alyssa started the engine.

"I'm such an idiot," she whimpered, putting a hand to her forehead.

"Here, drink this," Alyssa handed Jade a half-full water bottle, which she gulped down gratefully. "And you're not an idiot. We've all had nights like this."

"God, why did you invite him?" Jade whined.

"Who, Beck?"

"Duh."

"Well, I had no idea you were going to be there," Alyssa chuckled. "Or maybe I did. Maybe I'm psychic. Maybe you guys needed that little talk."

"I assure you we did not."

"Well I assure you that I had no idea what had happened with you two — how you guys broke up, I mean — until like half an hour ago. And I'm just as pissed about it as you are."

"I highly doubt that."

Alyssa shrugged.

"Why is life so impossible?" Jade asked suddenly as Alyssa pulled onto the dark freeway. "I mean, is it normal to be this miserable?"

"I don't know, Jade," Alyssa looked at the girl beside her and rubbed her arm comfortingly. "But my mom always said: the earlier you have your worst days, the better the rest of your life will be."

"Is she dead now?" Jade asked, confused. Alyssa smirked.

"No, but she had a midlife crisis and doesn't say that particular idiom anymore."

"Maybe this is my midlife crisis. Maybe I'm going to die in my thirties, so this is halfway through my life."

"Well you're just a bucket of fun, aren't you?" Alyssa said with a smile.

"That's what they say," Jade agreed sarcastically. Then she closed her eyes, trying not to second-guess everything that had happened in the past twelve hours. Alyssa allowed the silence, and for some incomprehensible reason, Jade found her presence comforting.

"You know, Jade," Alyssa said as she pulled up to the West residence. "I never had feelings for Beck. And I know you won't believe this, but he's always been so stuck on you that there was no hope for any other girl."

"Nah, there's hope," Jade said blankly with a shake of her head. Alyssa sighed. "Thanks for driving me home."

"Sure," Alyssa smiled sadly. "Drink some water. You'll still probably have a hell of a headache tomorrow, but water'll help. I'll have someone sober drop off your car."

Jade nodded, shutting the car door as softly as possible to protect her already aching head and stumbling up the path. As Alyssa was driving off around the block, Jade stopped, eyes wide. Alyssa had her keys. Jade hoped against hope for a few seconds that the front door would be unlocked, but once again it seemed the world was against her. Squeezing her eyes shut in anticipation, she knocked.

May I propose

a little toast

to all the ones who hurt the most?

Sorry. You guys are all a little mad for last chapter, and this chapter isn't so nice either, and (spoiler alert) neither is the next one. Somehow Alyssa Vaughn worked her way into this story, and I love the irony of the idea of her and Jade kinda becoming friends. This chapter is really long, so I'll just bid you adieu until Tuesday!