Take Me as I Am
Chapter 6
[Faith]

After four long hours, the horde of walkers finally made their way past the small lot. The scent of the dead bastard's blood attracted more of the undead than Daryl expected. Initially, it had only been a handful of stragglers, but as the minutes passed, the handful of stragglers turned into a bloodied, decaying mass of the undead tearing through the property in waves.

It was strange. He had only seen such large hordes such as the one that just passed by only in the cities or when a loud explosion or sound attracted them. It unnerved him when the undead started to bump into the sides of the building and eventually the door.

It was almost like they were testing to see if any prey was in there.

Daryl had to leave Beth in a safe corner to help the others secure the doors as quietly as possible to prevent the walkers from barging into the building. Metal shelving and crates were carefully placed in front of the doors as a barricade while the younger man of the group climbed up onto a steel rack secured into the wall, observing the horde for possible signs of infiltrations.

At least now that the horde is gone, he can return to Beth. Still huddled in the corner where he left her, he made his way over to her slowly. "Beth?"

He saw her stir, and a part of him knew she wasn't in any sense 'okay' but he had expected to see her crying, sad… something. Instead, her blue eyes were devoid of emotion—as if the life had been sucked out of her.

"You okay?" It was a stupid question to ask. Of course, she was not okay—but Daryl wasn't much of a conversationalist when it came to times like these.

She nodded; the action made her tousled hair partially covered her face like a veil. He watched her pull his vest around her shoulders tighter as she tried to suppress a shudder.

He reached over to his black plastic bag where he had stashed an extra shirt. He dug within the bag for a few seconds before his fingers came in contact with the garment. Pulling it out of the bag, he grimaced at the stench emitting from it. Sure enough, he hadn't the chance to wash it since leaving the prison—but it'll do.

"It smells like sweat and shit, but I rather you stink than prance around with a torn shirt," he said to her in a low voice. He aired out the shirt by flapping it a few times and kneeled in front of Beth. "Well go on, what you waiting for?"

Instead of doing as he asked, Beth just stared at him with those lifeless eyes. He pitied her, he did. But they had to keep going, the longer they were with this group, the higher chance the incident will happen again. At this point, he had a feeling they were in danger since he just massacred the leader of the group's friend. He had to get Beth out of here. Now that the horde's gone, it was a good of a time as any to escape when he heard Joe suggesting to camp for a few more days here.

He rather risk a chance with a horde tearing his guts out than let another man touch her like that again. During the entire time securing the doors, he couldn't help but blame himself for not watching her carefully, especially when Randy made such raunchy remarks. He didn't feel sorry for killing that bastard, if he were to live… well Beth wouldn't be his only victim.

"Beth, come on… just put the damn shirt on," Daryl hissed, growing impatient and irritated at the thought of dead Randy hurting another female. When she didn't make a move, he swooped in and grabbed one of her arms and slipped it through the sleeve of the dirty shirt. Despite her flinching away from his contact, he made quick work of putting it on her.

When he was done, his hands rested on her shoulders. He had every mind to scold her for being a baby, but as a tear slipped from her eye and down her cheek, he bit his tongue.

Daryl sighed, a bit torn as to what to do. He hardly had the experience of comforting women… that was Merle's job. His brother had always been the smooth talker, and well he… he just followed Merle around.

As more tears began cascading from her eyes, something stirred within him. He made a promise to protect her, and in her vulnerable state, he shouldn't be an indifferent asshole to her. Awkwardly, he brushed the stray strands of hair shielding her face and tucked it behind her ears.

"Beth, look at me."

She shook her head and whispered through her tears, "No… I'm okay… I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me, girl. Just… look at me," Daryl cupped the back of her neck, base of her skull with his hand and tucked a finger under her chin with his other. He tilted her chin up until her face was parallel to his. It was quite apparent she intended to avoid looking at him at all costs.

He had to do something drastic.

He shifted his hands until they cupped each side of her face, pulling it down gently; he lowered her face and pressed his lips against her hairline above her forehead.

Her head snapped up so quickly, it collided with his chin, sending him toppling onto his side. He cradled his chin with his hands and whined, "Damn it Beth! Fucking A, that hurts! The one time I try something different. God damn!"

In an instant, Beth was kneeling by him, pressing her cold hands against his, in attempts to make it better. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry Daryl. I- I didn't mean it!" Her voice was apologetic, her eyes glistened with worry for him despite the fact she also sustained some sort of injury to her head from the collision.

"You better be damn sure you didn't mean it! Shit, that hurts. Think you broke my chin," he hissed, pulling his hands back to his view to check for blood, a look of mock anger in his face.

"Well… well you shouldn't have done that! It surprised me!" Her worry gaze was soon replaced an irritated one. "What were you doing… catching me off guard like that! You should've let me known first or something."

Daryl's protests dwindled to nothing as he laid on the cold floor, watching her rant to herself. He was glad she still had fire within her, the look she gave him when he started to blame her for hurting him assured him that she was not all broken. She had him worried there, when she was so unresponsive and distant from him. He never wanted that from her… he wanted to be the one she trusted with life. What happened last night should've never happened, and he's sure as hell will not let something like that happen to her again. He forbids it.

Slowly, he adjusted himself into a kneeling position in front of Beth, who was still obliviously ranting to herself as she fidgeted with her hands. Reaching out in front of him, he encircled his arms around her shoulders and pulled her body flush to his, tucking her head under his chin.

"I'm sorry Beth. I know there ain't anything I can say or do to make this shitty situation better for you. But I'm here… don't hide from me, Beth. Don't act strong when you feel like you're all torn up inside. Let it out… I'm right here. I ain't going anywhere," he whispered to her, his arms tightening around her small frame.

He felt her body shake, and seconds later, soft sobs racked through her body. Her arms snaked up behind his back and clenched onto his shirt, pressing their bodies closer together. Through her sobs, he made out a few fragments of sentences. Most of them sounded as if she blamed herself, and that she deserved it for letting him die. This wasn't the first time she said that. He heard her blame herself when she had her nightmare right after the group rescued her. He hadn't gotten the chance to ask her about her captor. He supposed the time now is better than any.

"Let who die?" He whispered, awkwardly stroking her back. The jerking motion must've worked in calming her down—her sobs diminished to sniffles and the occasional whimper.

"The priest… the guy who captured me… funeral home…" she sighed against his chest, sending a wave of moist heat through his vest.

He suppressed the urge to shiver and buried the beginnings of inappropriate thoughts into a deep dark corner of his mind. Clearing his throat, he continued his questions. "How did he die?"

"I killed him…"

Daryl pulled back, albeit shocked as he studied her face. "You killed him?" he was far beyond skeptical. He doubted she would purposely kill anyone—it wasn't within her nature to. "How?" he asked, keeping his face devoid of emotion.

"He fell… and… I left him there… in the tunnel," she whispered dejectedly, large tears falling down from her eyes anew. "He said," she hiccupped "… that I would go to Hell for leaving him behind… that I killed him…" Her shoulders visibly sagged and Daryl couldn't decide to whether or not laugh or scold her for her stupidity.

He decided neither, instead he pulled her back into his arms and sighed, relieved. "You know, that don't make you a killer. Might as well say I killed him too."

"What? How… does?"

"'Cus it ain't your fault, honey," he chuckled, albeit dumbfounded at her logic. "I could've gone back there faster when I heard 'em screaming. I could've done and killed the dozens of walkers that were eatin' on him. But I didn't. 'Cus why? Too late. It ain't your fault that he died." He supposed his reasoning was working on her. He felt her shift until she laid her head in the crook of where his shoulder met his neck.

"I 'supose so… But I feel so guilty… That dream… he appeared and said it was my fault…"

Daryl shrugged at her comment, then proceeded to shift their position until he sat on the cold ground and pulled Beth into his lap. For the longest moment, he didn't care what the others were doing. He remained still, holding her. She was like a fallen angel, dejected and thinking the cause of that man's death was her fault.

After a long silence, he heard Beth speak again. "Daryl? Do… do you believe in God?"

"For real?" He debated if he wanted to answer truthfully or not. He felt her shift until she sat upright on his lap, looking into his eyes.

She nodded, watching him with her doe-like eyes, "Yes, answer truthfully."

Daryl sighed, ran a hand through his hair before propping his arms behind him to stabilize him and Beth's weight. "Well, for starters… I don't believe in God." He watched disappointment grow in her eyes. "But," he continued "… when you wouldn't wake up from your hellish nightmare… no matter what the fuck I tried to do… I… I prayed."

"… I prayed 'cus you're all that I got now. I don't know if the others are still alive. And fuck, if they're all dead… you're the closest thing to a family I got. I felt myself change when I thought I lost ya. Ain't got nothin' to protect. Ain't got nothin' to look out for but my own sorry ass. I don't wanna be like what I was before all this shit hit the fan. I don't want to lose you, and I ain't gonna," he whispered and tore his gaze away from her face. He felt his face flush with heat. It sounded almost like a confession… damn it.

He dared himself a peak at her face from the corner of his eyes. He immediately looked away again, and cleared his throat. From what he saw, her face flushed as red as his, she probably took it as a confession too. Well… fuck.

"So… you do believe in God… now?" She too, cleared her throat and avoided his gaze.

"… Yeah… Guess so."

"That makes sense. You're like my guardian angel… always saving me."

Daryl chuckled and shook his head, "If anyone's an angel here, it would be you."

"Angels don't let other people die," she whispered, her mood started to decline again.

He shifted the weight onto one of his arms, freeing his other hand to cup the side of her face, forcing her to look at him. "What you just said proved that you're more the angel than me. You can't help but blame yourself because you see the good in other people that I can't see. That man kidnapped you. He ain't a good man, and yet you still blame yourself for something outta your control. Some people may call it karma but damn, Beth. It ain't your fault. If you ain't gonna believe yourself, at least believe in me."

For seconds, she stared at him with her head tilted to the side. He knew nothing about what she was thinking; partially he believed she might've gone crazy. Then, she flashed him a watery smile, her eyes shining with… something he couldn't put a name to. "I believe you Daryl, and I trust you."

Rarely did he ever want to smile… but around her, around this fallen angel, he couldn't help but feel his soul lightened up enough to smile in return. "Well 'bout damn time," he grinned.

They remained sitting on the floor for a few more uninterrupted minutes before the gravity of their situation were made known to them. The men of the group crept in from behind them, waiting for the perfect moment to strike…

/

JR- Sorry it took so long to update folks! I just finished my finals! Doing good so far! This was more of a filler chapter to ease Beth and Daryl's anxiety. Can't say much for the next chapter though.

Oh, and there's a reason why she says she trusts him repeatedly! Stay tuned for the future chapters to find out!

Thanks for reading, please review!