21. Shirts, Ties, and Marriages.
Of course she'd thought about it, getting back together with Beck. For the first few weeks after the breakup, when she still thought it was temporary, she constantly imagined all of the scenarios that could reunite them. But at the same time, she realized he wasn't going to be begging on his knees for her and she wasn't going to be the one to swallow her pride and ask him to. What she wanted was for things to go back to the way they used to be (before Tori came to HA), but she knew it wasn't possible. So—
"No."
"Oh," Beck said. His eyes were a mix of shock and disappointment and sadness that Jade had never seen before. Part of her wanted to say no never mind we can try again I'm sorry, but another part didn't let her move. All of her was tired of being split down the middle.
"Can…can I ask why?" Beck ventured tentatively.
"We didn't work," Jade said with a shrug, staring out the windshield at the cement walls of the parking structure.
"We did," Beck insisted. "We just…hit a rough patch."
"No, I mean, we didn't work. We didn't try and fix the things that bothered us, we just glossed them over or pushed them aside so we wouldn't have to think about it. Nothing ever changed."
"You're right," Beck said quietly, running his hands across his face and through his hair. "You're right."
"I don't want to go through all that again."
"You wouldn't," he declared. "But I get why you don't want to risk it."
"Thanks," Jade whispered. She blinked harshly and picked at her nails.
"If…if you change your mind…just let me know. Okay?"
"Sure," Jade chuckled sadly. "But I guarantee you'll change your mind before I do."
"Doubt it."
They didn't speak again until Beck was putting the car in park in front of Jade's house.
"Bye," Jade said unceremoniously, unlocking the car door.
"Wait," Beck grabbed her arm. "I'm serious. If you change your mind about…you know, us…just…give me a sign."
"Well, when you change your mind, give me a sign."
"Deal. I'll…see you later, then?"
Jade nodded with half a smile and got out of the car. With a sigh she trudged back to her freshly-painted bedroom, where the smell of the thick white paint made her head ache. She tossed her jacket and the purse full of cash onto her bed and knelt at the cardboard box that was taunting her from the floor. Ever so gently, she eased the ripped poster from The Scissoring from underneath a pile of framed butterflies, whimpering when the tear grew slightly bigger. The poster was nearly in half when she finally got it free. Carefully, Jade lay the poster over her pillow. She didn't think duct tape could fix this one. Back at the box, Jade took stock of the damage. A butterfly frame was cracked and a pair of scissors was bent, but it was the poster that took the brunt of the assault. Oh well. Who needs an irreplaceable memento from the premiere of her favorite movie anyway?
"Jade?" Richard's voice was accompanied by knocking on the door.
"What?" Jade tore open the door. The paint still smelled.
"Be sure you're dressed by five thirty. My guests will be arriving at six o'clock."
"Well, you only gave me a three hour's notice. I'm not sure I'll be ready in time."
"Don't be fresh with me."
"I'll be fresh with whoever I damn well please," Jade replied coolly.
"Five thirty," Richard repeated. "Respectable and well-behaved."
"Whatever."
Jade knew her father wanted her tattoo covered for the night, but the more she inhaled the paint fumes in her bedroom, the less she was inclined to conceal it. She'd probably regret it, but at five fifteen that night, Jade shimmied into a short-sleeved black dress and put purple streaks in her hair. She took her time applying makeup and doing her hair, and slipped down the stairs to stand next to Celia just in time for the first guests to arrive. Jade could let her father pretend for an evening that they were a happy little family, but she wasn't about to let these people think she was a part of it.
The first guests to walk through the door were Mr and Mrs Blah-blah, a husband and wife about Richard's age. Their widened eyes did not escape Jade as she smiled (grimaced) politely and shook their hands. Richard took their coats and asked Jade to take them into the living room and offer them something to drink. Jade led them to the immaculate lounge and simply pointed at the large ice bucket full of drinks by the door. She tried to escape being alone with them, but Mrs Blah-blah had other plans.
"So your name is Jade, dear?" the woman was asking. Her voice held that sort of tight graciousness that made Jade want to cringe.
"Yes," she answered, forcing her cringe to become a smile. "That's my name."
"And how old are you?"
"Seventeen."
"Where do you go to school?"
"Hollywood Arts."
"Oh," Mrs Blah-blah's polite smile failed. "So are you an…actress?"
"Among other things."
"Mm. You had a cousin who was an actor, didn't you dear?" she asked her husband. "What ever happened to him?"
"Wendell," Mr Blah-blah's voice was stuffy. "Last I heard he was living in a slum in New York City. Though, really, what actor isn't?"
"Everyone in Hollywood," Jade muttered as the Blah-blahs chuckled together, and Jade decided she'd rather be with her father than alone in the living room with those two. Back out in the entryway, she was introduced to Mr So-and-so and his wife. They were younger than Jade's dad, which is probably why they didn't seem too horribly shocked at Jade's appearance. She thought the So-and-sos consummated the guest list, but the doorbell rang one more time as Richard began ushering everyone into the living room for a drink. Celia went to answer the door as Richard mixed drinks from behind the bar and Jade crossed her arms on the couch.
"Mr Vaughn!" Richard greeted as Celia led one more man into the room. Jade's eyebrows shot up while her father shook Mr Vaughn's hand. "Mr Vaughn, I think you know most of our guests. This, of course, is my wife Celia, and that is my daughter Jade."
Jade smiled slightly at Alyssa Vaughn's father, but didn't move from her place on the couch.
"It's a pleasure to see you all," Mr Vaughn said. Richard served Mr Vaughn his drink first, then finished everyone else's orders. The adults shared stories from work, the heartiest laughter sounding after Mr Vaughn recounted one of his stupider interns. Jade couldn't help but feel sorry for Vaughn's trainee, even if she herself had screamed about many a cup of spilled coffee.
Dinner itself was a similar affair. Jade sat between her father and Mrs Blah-blah, who happened to be left-handed. Mrs B elbowed Jade's arm at least nine hundred times, and didn't apologize once. When Mart and his team of caterers removed the last of the dishes, Jade was ready to bolt from the dining room, but none of the adults around her moved. They chatted for another half hour before returning to the living room for another round of drinks. Mr Vaughn was describing yet another instance of intern torture when Jade decided she was thirsty. She wandered to the ice bin to get another soda (which was really just sparkling fruit juice). As she unscrewed the lid of the glass bottle she heard a noise from the nearby kitchen — a giggle. Eyebrows lowered, Jade peeked around the corner. Mrs So-and-so was perched on the marble island, a glass of red wine delicately gripped in her fingers. Richard had his hands on her waist and his lips against her neck. She giggled once more, her free hand tangled in his hair. Jade cleared her throat roughly. Mrs So-and-so gasped like a victim in a horror film. The wine glass fell to the counter but did not break as the red liquid started dripping to the floor. Simultaneously Richard leapt back and turned his back on Jade, facing the window and the darkened street outside.
"Natalia," he said stiffly, "go join the others in the living room."
Mrs So-and-so scurried nervously past Jade, who was shaking with fury in the doorway.
"What are you doing?" Jade asked through gritted teeth, her knuckles white around the soda bottle.
"Cleaning up the mess you made," Richard responded. Indeed he was mopping up the spilled wine with a white cloth napkin.
"The mess I made?"
"Yes. If you hadn't startled her, Natalia wouldn't have dropped her glass."
"If you hadn't been cheating on your wife with her, I wouldn't've startled her!"
"This is none of your business, Jade. You're a child, you don't understand."
"You're right," Jade stepped forward and slammed her soda down on the counter, the fizzy orange liquid adding to the mess. "I don't understand. I don't understand how you could do this again! Does this mean you're moving on to wife number three?"
"No. It does not," Richard paused. "Which means you don't need to tell Celia about this."
"You're unbelievable," Jade shook her head in disbelief. "That won't work on me anymore. It may have when I was fourteen, but I'm telling this time."
"You don't need to do that."
"Yes, I do."
"Alright," Richard looked at her coldly. "What do you want?"
"What?" Jade faltered.
"What do you want? A car, a shopping spree? What do you want?"
"I don't w—" Jade stopped. There was something she wanted. "I want to stay at Hollywood Arts."
"Absolutely not."
"You asked me what I want. I want you to pay for my school."
"No!"
"Then I'm telling Celia what I saw tonight."
"You don't know what you saw."
"I know exactly what I saw — and there's no point denying it since you've already offered me hush money."
Richard threw the napkin, now soaked in red wine, into the sink.
"I'll think about it," he declared, his voice tight.
"Better not take too long," Jade said.
"You're despicable," Richard growled.
"I wonder who made me that way."
I'm not the only one who finds it hard to understand.
I'm not afraid of God,
I am afraid of man.
Okay. I know you're all mad at me. I know you all wanted me to get Bade back together, and stop making Jade's life a living hell. And another apology: I am way behind on this story. Like, I don't even have Chapter 22 finished. So, it's possible that I won't update this Saturday... However, I don't have classes this week, and I'm sitting down to write right this second, so I'll try and get some shit done! Cross your fingers (and encourage me). Thanks for reading.