24. S.O.L.
Jade was so preoccupied with her father's response (of lack of one) to her request to pay for school, and with chickening out at the sign-up sheet for the Full Moon Jam, that the week was over before she knew it. On Friday, since she didn't really need to be at Sikowitz's play, Jade was lounging on her bed with a bag of "fun size" candies (which are really only fun when you eat twelve servings). Shiny wrappers were strewn all over the place, blowing on the floor as Jade smirked at the predicaments of half-drowning B-list celebrities on her laptop. She grumbled irritatedly as her phone rang, and hit the spacebar to pause the video. Her nose scrunched up at the caller ID.
"What do you want, Vega?"
"Jade?" The voice on the line didn't sound at all like Tori Vega. It was thick and hoarse, like a pack-a-day smoker underwater. "Jade is that you?"
And maybe a little delirious.
"Of course it's me, you called me."
"Oh…right," there was a horrendous noise that made Jade pull the PearPhone away from her ear. It sounded like an elephant trying to play the trumpet with a didgeridoo band.
"What in God's name was that?"
"What? Oh… That was me blowing my nose. Jade, I'm really really sick."
"Okay. What do you want me to do about it?"
"I can't do the show tonight."
Jade frowned, sitting up. More wrappers fell to the floor.
"You're lying," she accused.
"I'm not. I have a stuffy nose and a sore throat and I'm coughing," Tori coughed to prove her point, making a great hacking noise. "And a fever."
"Did Beck put you up to this?"
"What?"
"Did he?"
"No, I'm really sick and you're the understudy."
"Prove it."
"P…prove you're the understudy…?"
"No," Jade said condescendingly, "prove you're sick."
"Why?"
"Because you were fine in school today."
"My nose was stuffed all day and I barely said a word 'cause my throat was so sore!"
"Exactly. You were perfect!"
Tori let out a low groan of frustration.
"Prove it! Prove you're sick," Jade ordered again.
"I can…" Tori thought for a moment. "I can take my temperature and send you a picture of the thermometer."
"That's not good enough. Even Robbie could fake that."
"Oh. Right." Tori moaned miserably again.
"Get on video chat," Jade commanded.
"What?"
"Now." Jade hung up the phone and logged in, waiting for Tori's screen name to appear. She requested a video call the second it did. Jade cringed when she saw Tori's face pop up on her screen. The girl looked wretched. Her face was pale under a sheen of sweat, her eyes were swollen, and her nose was red. Used tissues were scattered around the mountain of pillows supporting her.
"Believe me now?" she asked hoarsely. Jade frowned.
"Yeah, I guess so. Lemme take a screenshot."
"What? No!" Tori covered her face with her hands as Jade leaned forward to her keyboard.
"I have to document this."
"You'll post it on the Slap!"
"I'm just gonna show it to Sikowitz."
"What for?" Tori asked, peeking through her fingers.
"To prove that I didn't do anything to you."
"What do you mean…?" Tori let her hands drop from her face and reached for another Kleenex.
"He'll try and do the part himself again if he thinks I tried to kill you or something, and that'll ruin it for everyone."
"…okay fine," Tori groaned. "Take your screenshot."
"Say, 'I'm miserable!'"
Tori just groaned.
"Perfect!" Jade sent the screenshot to her phone, smirking. Her smirk fell as a though occurred to her, and she looked back at the screen. "Tori, why haven't you been texting Beck?"
"'Cause you're still in love with him, and I don't want to make you more miserable than you already seem to be," Tori shrugged.
Jade narrowed her eyes, squinting at her "frenemy" with suspicion.
"Your call time for the play is five thirty," Tori informed Jade, blowing her nose noisily. "The show starts at seven."
"What?!" Jade checked the clock. "It's already four forty-five! Couldn't you have called me any earlier?"
"I fell asleep! Trina was supposed to wake me up if I slept past three, but she started this new thing where she—"
Jade slammed her laptop shut and jumped in the shower, calculating how much time she'd need. Probably an hour for hair and makeup, plus time to go over all of the blocking and cues. She cursed Sikowitz for never letting her run the show as she scrubbed her hair. So, that's more than two hours of work to fit in to the hour and a half before showtime. Jade jumped in her car, her hair still dripping wet, just as the clock turned to five. She parked haphazardly at the Hollywood Arts parking lot and sprinted into the building, but still didn't sign the check-in sheet until almost five forty.
"Jaaaadey!" Cat exclaimed, clapping her hands together and hopping up and down as Jade entered the dressing room. "Yay! I'm so excited you're here!"
Beck was chuckling, watching them in the mirror as he waited for Cat to finish his hair and makeup. He was half in costume, wearing a white dress shirt with an untied necktie and an unbuttoned vest. Jade just sighed her hellos wearily, grabbing a towel and rubbing it on her head.
"Jadey, aren't you so excited? You're gonna be in the show!"
"Yeah, I kn—" Jade was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Robbie and Andre, who were already in costume and carrying two large cardboard boxes. Rex was sitting atop the box Robbie carried.
"What's that?" Beck asked.
"Programs," Robbie wheezed, out of breath.
"You just printed the programs?" Jade asked disapprovingly.
"We just reprinted the programs. They need to have your name on them now."
"Oh," Jade said, her eyebrows raised. "They didn't leave Tori's name?"
"Nope!" Cat answered, giggling. "It's all you now!"
Jade scowled, turning back to the mirror and watching herself brush her hair.
"I feel like this is some sort of apology ploy," Jade declared.
"I thought you'd be happy about this," Robbie said, setting his box on the counter. "I mean, you haven't gotten to play a lead role in awhile. You deserve this."
"Well, thanks," Jade muttered, looking down. "A-and I am happy, it's just…."
"It's not fake," Andre assured her. "I talked to Tori and she sounded bad. She couldn't fake a cold that good — or, bad, as it were…"
"And here I was thinking you were Vega's friend."
"What? I am."
"You just called her a bad actress."
"No, I didn't," Andre said. "I just—"
"Is this how you talk about me behind my back?" Jade stood, her voice rising defensively. She turned her sharp eyes to Beck. "I know you do."
"What?" Beck tried to lean forward and speak to his ex-girlfriend, but Cat pulled him back by his hair. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh you know what I'm talking about," Jade snarled.
"I wasn't saying anything bad about Tori! It's hard to fake a cold, I couldn't do it," Andre held his hands up submissively. "And you didn't even like her!"
"No, I don't! But I'm not going to sit around and listen to you—"
"One hour 'til places," Sinjin interrupted, poking his head into the dressing room. "Oh, hey Jade."
"Out!" Jade pointed to the door. "All of you, out!"
Robbie scurried out with his cardboard box and his puppet. Andre followed suit. Beck was held into his chair by Cat and her can of hairspray. Jade slumped back into her own seat with a sigh.
"Um…" Beck began.
"Don't," Jade cut him off. "I'm not in the mood to be scolded."
"I wasn't—" He was cut off again by a cloud of hairspray erupting around his head. He gagged as some of the sweet-smelling aerosol got on his tongue. "Cat! Warn me next time."
"Kay kay!"
"Thanks," he said, looking back to to the dark-haired girl brooding beside him. "Jade, I wasn't going to scold you, I was just gonna say—"
"Warning!"
Beck shut his eyes and mouth immediately as another puff of hairspray encircled him.
"Done!" Cat squeaked happily.
"Thank you, Cat."
"Sure thing! Jadey, you're next."
Jade couldn't see how that could not sound threatening. She adjusted her position in her chair, crossing her legs and fluffing out her damp hair. Cat moved the myriad of products and tools that she used to torture people into beauty down the counter until it was all in front of Jade. Then Cat looked at her best friend thoughtfully, her lips pursed.
"I need my hair dryer," she decided, skipping out of the dressing room. Jade sighed again, uncrossing her legs and recrossing them as Cat's footsteps faded away.
"I'm going to try one more time to get this sentence out of my mouth without being interrupted by some sort of poisonous fumes," Beck said, leaning toward the mirror and beginning to tie his tie. "I wasn't trying to scold you, I was just going to say that I'm glad you and Tori are becoming friends."
"We're not," Jade argued.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"That's what I said," Beck confirmed with a chuckle.
"Well…don't."
"Okay — I mean…okie dokie?"
Jade rolled her eyes, trying not to grin.
"I'm back and I have my hair dryer!" Cat declared, marching into the room, ready for business. Five minutes later, Jade's hair was dry and Cat was curling it with precision.
"Why are you even still here?" Jade grumbled after Beck laughed when she got hairspray in her mouth.
"You think I'd rather be out there folding programs?" he asked.
"I guess not," she shrugged.
"Hey, do you want to run lines?"
Jade nodded, biting her lip as the pre-show butterflies suddenly took flight in her stomach. They were customary, but still unsettling.
"Where's your script?"
Jade tried to get up, but after a squealed protest from Cat ("You'll ruin your hair!") she simply sighed and pointed to the bag she'd dumped beneath the counter. Beck unzipped it and started rifling through the contents in search of the paper booklet of the play.
"Don't rummage through my bag!" Jade protested.
"I'm not rummaging!"
"You're rummaging! You're touching all of my stuff!"
"Well I have to find the script! What don't you want me to touch? Are you keeping bombs in here?"
"If I am is this how you really want to find out?"
"Yes, actually."
"…I'm not."
"I know. I can't find the script!"
"Let me look." Jade started to lift herself out of the chair but Cat shrieked again and she sat back down with a growl. She gestured to Beck. "Bring it here."
Jade retrieved the script within seconds and handed it to her ex-boyfriend with a smug look in her eyes.
"I was so worried about the possibility of finding C4—"
"Oh, don't give me excuses, it was sitting right on top."
Run, neon tiger, there's a price on your head
They'll hunt you down and gut you,
I'll never let them touch you.
Thank you so much for your reviews! I do have some bad news though. Not terribly drastic, but I can't keep up with this publishing schedule right now. I have a shit ton of events and projects to do for the end of the school year, so I am only going to be posting once every other week. I will post next week on/around the 5th, and then the 19th and the 2nd. I'm really stressed right now and I don't have a lot of time to write, but I know exactly where this story is going, and I promise I will finish it. I have some written beyond this chapter, but I thought I'd take a break with a little cliffhanger so you'll be interested in what happens with Jade onstage :) Thank you so much for your support of my writing. Some of you have called this your favorite story, and that means a lot for a stressed-out teenager. So thanks.