The thing about depression and anxiety is that they're polar opposites. One leaves you practically unable to move and the other one makes it impossible to sit still. Anxiety makes its victim care entirely too much, while depression leaves them unable to find passion in even their favorite people or things. So, when Jaiden didn't come out of her room for the next 18 hours, Beca found herself completely put off at the idea of knocking on the door. She didn't want to annoy the younger girl. In fact, she really couldn't bear the idea of it. Therefore, Beca switched between hobbling around the apartment and distracting herself with new mixes from her spot on the couch, while Chloe looked on worriedly.
And then there was poor Stacie; who showed up the evening after she left and stood out in the hallway for nearly 20 minutes. The sophomore knocked on their door relentlessly and Chloe could only ignore it for so long. Eventually, the redhead answered it and quickly explained the situation in a low enough voice so that Beca didn't hear from the living room.
"Can I at least try to talk to her?" Stacie asked desperately. Chloe chewed her lip; not sure if letting the tall brunette in would be better for her girlfriend's younger sister or worse. But even by then, it was obvious that Beca didn't have any ideas on how to get through to her. Chloe sighed reluctantly before stepping aside and letting her in.
"Her door's locked," Beca spoke up from the couch, while her eyes never left the sound-waves scrolling across the scene in front of her. Chloe retreated to the cushion beside her and prepared herself to watch the sad situation that was about to unfold. But the redhead couldn't help but notice Beca's leg bouncing up and down rapidly; a nervous tick of the brunette's. Chloe reached across and gently laid a hand on Beca's knee, stilling the limb at once. Her bruised girlfriend finally glanced up from her laptop and searched Chloe's eyes for a few seconds before retreating back into her own little world. Frustrated, Chloe turned her attention back to Stacie.
"Jaiden? Are you okay in there?" Stacie called through the closed door. She rapped on the solid piece of wood loudly. After getting no response, Stacie wiggled on the doorknob and knocked again. "Don't either of you have a key?" The brunette whirled around and looked between Beca and Chloe.
"Yeah. I'm just not sure we should really invade her privacy, you know?" Chloe replied. Stacie scoffed at her in response and ran her fingers back through her dark locks.
"She got shot less than a week ago and you aren't concerned at all that you haven't heard from her all day?" Stacie asked accusatorily. Chloe arched an eyebrow and looked to Beca for backup. Unsurprisingly, the brunette didn't involve herself.
"You know what? Fine. Piss her off. Do what you want. They key's on top of the fridge." Chloe waved her off and crossed her arms in front of her. The redhead was getting more and more fed up with being in charge of everyone and then getting shit for it. Chloe watched as Stacie stalked into the kitchen, reached effortlessly above the fridge, and returned to the front of Jaiden's room with the master key. The brunette quickly unlocked the door and then slowly pushed it open. The lights were off inside and she took a few steps inside hesitantly.
"Babe? Are you okay?" Stacie looked around the dark room and finally locked eyes on the blanket covered lump in the center of the bed. She prodded at it gently and then leapt back as Jaiden's hand shot out from under the mess and shoved her away.
"I'm fine. Leave. Go to a party or something." She grumbled.
"I don't want to. I want to stay here with you." Stacie replied, trying to mask the hurt in her voice.
"My God, can you just leave me alone? Please?" Jaiden practically begged. Her words were slightly muffled under the covers, but that didn't soften their harshness at all. Stacie's eyes teared up and she promptly spun around on her heels. The emotional brunette stalked out of the room and back out to the main area of the apartment, where Chloe was watching with a bemused expression.
"Stace, don't take it personally-"
"How can I not take it personally? I'm supposed to be able to help her and all she does is push me away!" Stacie snapped.
"Then leave." Jaiden's disinterested voice sounded from her bedroom and caught all three of the other girls off guard. Shocked silence filled the apartment for a few tense seconds before she spoke up again. "I don't need your help. I don't need you. So just go. Relationships were never your thing anyway." After that, even Beca looked up from her distraction and paid attention.
"Wow. Okay then. Sorry for-" Stacie paused as her voice cracked. "Sorry for wasting your time." With that, the tall brunette hurried out of the apartment, wiping at the first tears that escaped her eyes. Much to Chloe's frustration, Beca turned back to her mix, apparently unfazed by the breakup.
"I guess I'll take care of this." The redhead sighed as she stood up from the couch. Chloe made her way into the bedroom and turned on the lights before shutting the door behind her. By this time, she was pretty much entirely fed up with the tension in the apartment and she didn't hesitate before ripping the covers off of Jaiden. The 18 year old groaned as the lights hit her eyes and she blinked tiredly.
"What?" Jaiden mumbled.
"How about you tell me what that was about?" Chloe asked. She sat down on the bed stubbornly as a sign that she wasn't going to leave until Jaiden talked.
"I can't be in a relationship right now."
"Why not?" Chloe pushed.
"Because I'm not good for her. I'm not good for anyone. I'm not even good for me."
"That's not true," Chloe chastised. "You've been great for Beca."
"Yeah. Getting beaten half to death was really great for her."
"Jaiden, you know that wasn't your fault."
"Partially, it was. Because all I keep thinking is that if I would have just gone with him the first time he asked, you two wouldn't have come outside. And then she wouldn't have gotten hurt, you know?" Jaiden's voice waivered and she finally rolled over to look up at Chloe. "So how can you say it wasn't my fault?" The 18 year old demanded tiredly.
"Look, I'm not going to argue with you about this, because you're obviously going to think whatever you want. But at least sit up enough so I can change the gauze on your boo-boo."
"Please don't call my badass bullet wound a boo-boo," To Chloe's relief, Jaiden smirked a tiny bit and forced herself to sit up.
"Sorry, kiddo." Chloe chuckled. She grabbed at the mini-first aid kit that the hospital had sent home with them and pulled out a few pads of gauze and tape before she tossed it back onto the nightstand. Jaiden rolled her shirt up, exposing the patch on her lower ribcage, and turned so that Chloe could work on it. Much to her surprise, the redhead tending to the injury didn't really bother her as much as she thought she would. Though when Chloe pulled back the tape, Jaiden couldn't help but tense in pain and she gripped the sheets under her. "You okay?"
"Yep," Jaiden nodded in confirmation and bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to hide how much the bullet wound still stung. She managed to stay relatively still as Chloe quickly pressed a new patch of anti-septic soaked gauze to her side and then taped it in place. Jaiden hissed in pain as it stung and Chloe looked at her sympathetically before looking out the door.
"I know you're not really feeling life right now, but Beca's having a really hard time. You don't have to talk to her or anything, but would you mind going out and like, sitting with her for a little bit?" Chloe requested hopefully. Jaiden let out a long, slow sigh, but begrudgingly swung her legs over the side of the bed and held onto the redhead's shoulder. Chloe hid a relieved smile as she helped to stand and then pulled her out of the bedroom. "I'm going to get you something to eat." Jaiden shot the older girl an annoyed expression when she ditched her right outside the living room.
"Thanks," Jaiden grunted. The 18 year old rubbed the sleep from her eyes and then hesitantly sat down on the far end of the couch. She curled up into a ball and pulled the end of Beca's blanket over herself, effectively catching Beca's attention. The brunette's eyes widened in surprise and she quickly shut her laptop.
"Jaiden, hey, um, are you okay? What happened with Stacie?" The brunette stammered. She was completely caught off guard by her sister's sudden presence and her heart sped up immediately.
"I don't really want to talk about it," Jaiden replied.
"Oh, okay, that's fine. Is there anything you do want to talk about?"
"Not really."
Why the hell am I so annoying? The question flashed through Beca's eyes over and over again and she gripped the edges of her blanket nervously.
"I'm sorry," Beca blurted out. Jaiden propped her head up under her arm on the end of the couch and squinted at her in confusion.
"What?"
"I'm just sorry for always annoying you and not being able to make you feel better. I just feel like I'm in your way all the time and I can't help you. I couldn't even stop you from getting hurt-"
"Okay, no, I can't do this. Goodnight. Calm down." Jaiden lifted herself with a grunt of effort and stalked off towards her room again. Beca watched, feeling suddenly sick to her stomach and painfully aware of how she had just completely ruined what could have been a productive conversation. The brunette grabbed at her crutches and began hobbling quickly towards the door, only to be stopped by Chloe, who ran out of the kitchen at the sound of their rubber bottoms clicking on the floor.
"Where do you think you're going?" She demanded.
"I need to leave. All I do is upset everyone and I need to be alone." Beca explained so quickly that Chloe barely managed to catch half of the words. The redhead noticed a vaguely familiar glint in her eye; one that reminded her of the night that Jaiden had gone "missing".
"No, you're hurt and you need to stay here." She reprimanded her gently and reached behind her back in order to grasp the door handle. Beca gripped the handles of her crutches anxiously and shook her head.
"I need to go, Chloe. I need to get out of here." The smaller girl insisted. Chloe's eyebrows furrowed together in concern as she heard her girlfriend's breathing rate pick up. Unsure of whether or not she could even grasp Beca's shoulders without hurting her, Chloe settled on cupping the less bruised side of Beca's face and touching their foreheads together as lightly as she could. Blue eyes met a colder shade and Chloe could see the fear swirling in their depths.
"Stay with me, baby. It's alright. I've got you, but you need to stay with me." Chloe whispered. She felt Beca sigh shakily against her lips and rested her other hand on her hip. "Let's get into bed and go to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning." She coaxed. Beca nodded against her and then pulled back slightly. She dropped her crutches to the floor and draped her arms around Chloe's neck; trusting the older girl to lift her before she could lose her balance and fall. The redhead picked her up easily and walked steadily to the bedroom. Beca nuzzled against the inside of her neck as they crawled into bed and reluctantly released her hold on Chloe as the redhead straightened up to turn the lights off. Darkness flooded the room a few seconds later and Beca remained tense until she felt Chloe's arms wrap around her waist tenderly.
Jaiden lay in her bed, staring at the dark ceiling, and then flinched slightly as she felt her phone vibrate next to her head. She stayed still for a few seconds before lazily reaching over and picking up the device. Jaiden frowned at the message from an unfamiliar number that blinked across the smartphone's screen and debated opening it. And as soon as she did, she regretted it.
Told you –Amber
Jaiden's jaw locked as she stared at the attached image. It was blurry, but there was no doubt that the tall figure in the picture was Stacie. Jaiden did not, however, recognize the guy that was kissing her. He, on the other hand, apparently felt that he knew Stacie well enough to have a hand on her ass, and Jaiden suddenly felt hot, angry tears welling in her eyes. It had been an hour, or maybe even less, since their fight and Stacie had already moved on. And Jaiden knew she was at fault; she really did. But if Stacie had been able to go out to some party and pounce on the first guy that showed any interest, their relationship obviously hadn't meant much at all. Trying to ignore the dull pain in her chest and the sharp one in her side, Jaiden rolled over and buried her head under her blankets.
Wow. Angst. Lots of emotions coming up. Please don't forget to review!