Rise of the Old Masters: Unwanted?

He shifted, moving his weight from one hand to the other. The small move coupled with the slick, round surface beneath him and the constant press of wind nearly upset him.

"Focus. Focus on letting go."

"Letting go?" Ezra repeated with a grunt. "Rather hold on, if you don't mind."

He shifted his weight again, trying to balance on one hand instead of two.

"Enough jokes. Focus!"

Ezra groaned in reply to Kanan's no nonsense tone and lifted a hand. He managed to balance himself for a few seconds before he felt himself start to tip and slide.

"I'm trying," he said through gritted teeth, steadying himself with his free hand before lifting it up and trying again to balance on just his right.

"Do or do not," Kanan shot back. "There is no try."

Ezra dropped his free hand back down, shifting his weight over to give his right arm a break and opened his eyes.

"What does that even mean?" He asked, trying to balance on his left hand. "How can I do something if I don't try to do it?"

"Well, see–" Kanan frowned and fingered his beard. "Actually, that one always confused me too. But Master Yoda sure used to say it a lot."

"What's a 'yoda?'" The image of something very small, green, and wrinkled appeared in his head and he blinked in confusion. Below him his reflection flickered and that person's face, wrinkled in disgusted confusion, flashed before his eyes.

"Ugh! Who pickled the old person? And how is it still alive?"

Ezra bit down hard on his tongue to keep from laughing and his already poor balance worsened. He shook his head to rid it of a voice he knew he was imagining and turned his attention to his unwanted audience.

"–would be more interesting," Zeb was saying. "No wonder the old religion died."

Ezra flicked his gaze to Kanan, but before he could get a good enough look at the man's expression to decide if he was more annoyed or exasperated Zeb's face blocked his view.

"Come on, kid. Do something." Zeb demanded. "Amuse me. Use the Force!"

'And he calls me a kid?' Ezra thought, rolling his eyes.

Zeb grabbed the cannon barrels and used them to shake dorsal gun well Ezra was balancing on top of.

"Whoa!" Ezra yelped as he slipped backwards off the gun well roof. He landed with a grunt in a box of empty cartons.

Zeb laughed and Ezra's eyes narrowed, but he made no move to get up, perfectly content to just lie there and glare at Zeb. He was tired, exhausted actually, which was the only reason Zeb's interference had caused him to fall. Normally he had far better balance and wouldn't have tired so quickly, but this was his second day running on next to no sleep.

What had started as just highly disturbing dreams of someone watching him had escalated to horrid nightmares. And unlike a normal nightmare the only thing he could remember were the yellow eyes. What was worse was the feeling of being watched never went away except. . . Except when he felt the eye shift their attention, as if to watch one of the other crew members. Those moments terrified him for as much as the eyes scarred him, the thought of them staring at anyone else–

Kanan pulled him up and frowned when the boy wrenched his arm away.

"Does he have to be here?" Ezra asked, glaring at Zeb as he pulled his hat out of a pocket and placed it back on his head.

"He's annoying," Kanan agreed. "But there will always be distractions. You need to learn to focus through them."

Kanan cast his mind about for something else to try since endurance training had fallen flat. Not really a surprise given how tired Ezra looked, but when he offhandedly suggested he get some rest Ezra had refused and almost begged for Jedi training.

He glanced at the boy again and was just able to glimpse a flash of blue before that hat was back in place. Kanan's lip's thinned at the sight. He really didn't like that stupid hat, but that was a problem for later and that flash of blue had given him an idea.

"Here. Let's try something." He unhooked the pieces of his lightsaber and twisted them together, offering the assembled sword to Ezra. Ezra took it, his whole face lighting up with excitement as he inspected it.

"When do I get my own?" He asked eagerly.

"Having a laser sword doesn't make you a Jedi," Kanan said sternly, placing a hand on Ezra's head and forcing the kid's eyes to meet his own.

"Gets me closer," Ezra muttered, shaking himself free and tightening his grip on the sword.

"Careful!" Kanan shouted, jerking back as the lightsaber ignited and the tip of the sword followed his retreat at an unhealthy speed.

Ezra hastily redirected the blade, bringing it up in front of him as Kanan moved to stand behind him.

"There's a control on the side that adjusts the length to your height." Kanan pointed to the knob, keeping on hand on Ezra's shoulder. He could feel the boy's muscles tense up and knew Ezra wasn't comfortable with physical contact, but he really didn't want to get stabbed with his own sword.

Ezra twisted the knob and the blade shrank by about a foot.

"I think it should be little shorter." Zeb held his fingers a microscopic distance apart and Chopper snickered at the suggested length.

Neither Ezra nor Kanan looked amused, and their nearly identical looks of annoyance only made the other two laugh harder. Rolling his eyes, Ezra moved away from them.

"Okay," Kanan called once Ezra was about 10 feet away. "Close your eyes."

Ezra squared his shoulders and closed his eyes, tugging his hat down over them as an extra precaution.

"Let him have it, Chopper."

Ezra braced himself as he heard Chopper grumble a reply and start whirring. He felt it coming, knew it was headed straight for his head. His every instinct screamed for him to duck, dodge, get out of the way, just as he'd been taught to do all those years ago. He even started to duck, only to straighten as the saber in his hands thrummed more urgently, as if reprimanding him. He swung, missed, and felt something bounce off his head.

"Ow!" he hissed, wishing he could rub the spot, but he could sense another object hurtling towards him. He raised the sword but was once again too early and his stomach paid the price.

"Be precise," he heard Kanan instruct. "Keep the blade–"

Ezra grunted as two more objects bounced off him.

"–up," Kanan sighed.

"That's it, kid," Zeb laughed. "Use your body to slow down that trash."

Three more hard, plastic objects made impact and Ezra groaned softly, already feeling the bruises forming.

"Dodge, don't block!" That person's voice growled frustratedly at him. "Move! Get out of the way! Only an idiot stands there waiting to be hit!"

'Yeah, 'cause I want to just stand here and get pummeled,' Ezra thought bitterly as another object smacked him in the forehead and he stumbled back a few steps.

"No!" Kanan's voice sounded slightly strained. "You're not focusing."

Ezra opened his mouth to shoot back a reply when that 6th sense in the back of his head went haywire. A whole mess of objects was headed for him and his eyes snapped open.

A big mistake. His hat was still pulled over his eyes and with the sunlight shining brightly behind it his world was nothing but bright yellow. A bright yellow that to his sleep deprived mind registered as a pair of yellow eyes.

With a yell he lurched backwards, slashing the lightsaber through the air. The yellow eyes chased him until his feet met nothing but air.

"Kid!" Zeb's yell followed him as he slipped off the edge of the ship.

A rush of wind slammed into him and pushed his hat up letting him see the ground rushing up to meet him.

"AAAHHHH!" Ezra screamed, instinctively curling up into a ball as he fell through the air. His hands clutched his hat to him and the only thought that passed through his head was that that person was going to kill him!

Panicked as he was it took him a minute to realize the wind was no longer howling and was blowing in the wrong direction. He cracked open an eye.

"Whoa! What the–!" He was falling up instead of down?

He glanced in the direction he was going and saw the Ghost come back into view. Squinting, he could just make out Kanan's figure standing on the very edge of the ship with his arms outstretched. As he drew level with the bay door it opened and Zeb leaned out, reaching for him.

Ezra uncurled and tried to grab Zeb's outstretched hand, but whatever Kanan was doing to keep him from falling wasn't letting him get any closer to the ship.

"Zeb!" Kanan shouted and it was clear he was reaching his limit. The air rushed out of Kanan's lungs, and his control and hold on Ezra slipped.

He might not have felt it the instant Kanan caught him, but certainly felt it the instant he let go. Ezra's eyes widened as gravity reached out and yanked him back down.

"Got him!" Zeb shouted, lunging forward and snagging Ezra's hand.

Ezra swallowed and glanced at the ground far, far below him and then back up at Zeb. Why was it he always seemed to be dangling above certain death whenever Zeb was around?

Zeb stared down at the kid whose wide, blue eyes were looking at him with a mixture of surprise and fear. Zeb rolled his eyes. What did the brat have to be surprised about? Of course he'd wouldn't let him fall, and he certainly wasn't about to let him go! Zeb tugged Ezra up a bit too hard, causing the kid to fly up and crash down on top of him. Ezra blinked at him and Zeb shifted uncomfortably. Should he apologize since it was sort of his fault the kid had fallen?

"Uh–" The sound of Chopper's laughter cut him off which was a relief since Zeb didn't really know what to say.

The droid spun and chucked another empty carton at Ezra who didn't even bother fighting his instincts and ducked. Glaring at the old bot, he stomped into the ship. The sound of a fist hitting metal made him smile. Zeb might not have hit Chopper on his behalf, but it was nice to know someone else was also annoyed with the droid.

He walked up the ramp to the central part of the ship and saw Kanan climbing down the ladder from the roof.

"You weren't focused," Kanan told him and Ezra's mood soured.

"Tough to focus when I'm falling to my death," he snapped, brushing past the man.

Kanan grabbed his arm and spun him around. Ezra flinched, his hand twitching toward his sling shot. He still wasn't quite used to being touched and the adrenaline rush of nearly dying coupled with lack of sleep only made it harder to keep from lashing out whenever someone got physical with him.

Feeling Ezra flinch Kanan loosened his hold but didn't let go. He had a point to make.

"You wouldn't have been falling to your death if you were focused," he stressed. "You're undisciplined and full of self-doubt."

That was apparently not what Ezra wanted to hear if the flash of irritation and anger told Kanan anything.

"And whose fault," Ezra yanked his arm free, "is that, Master?"

He put all of his frustration, resentment, and fear into that last word, twisting it until it sounded more like a curse. Ezra turned away, crossing his arms. Behind him came a heavy sigh.

"It's difficult to teach," Kanan muttered, striding past him into the common room.

'Hello, guilt.' Ezra thought.

"He means," Zeb hissed at him, "it's difficult to teach you."

'And there's the self-loathing,' he thought as Zeb looked at him, eyes filled with disappointment. 'Hello, old friends, how I haven't missed you.'

Ezra sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. The understanding, but still sympathetic, look Hera sent him as she prodded him into the room did absolutely nothing to make him feel better.

He needed to fix this. He wasn't sure how, but he knew he needed to at least try. That person had told him, 'If you don't fix a problem right away it'll be 10 times worse when it comes back to bite you in the butt, and it will. It always will. So man up, fix it, and move on!'

Ezra took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing.'

"Kanan?" Did he have to sound so small and nervous? So much for manning up!

"Shh! You made the holonet." Sabine's interruption was more than welcome since Ezra wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to Kanan.

Giving a small sigh he leaned against the wall, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets as he listened to some Imperialist reporter accuse them of attacking 'innocent workers.'

"You liar!" Zen snarled at the images. "We set 'em free."

The holonet broadcast flickered before vanishing and being replaced by a picture of an old man.

"Citizens," the voice was distorted by static but clearly male. "This is Senator-in-Exile Gall Trayvis. I bring more news the Empire doesn't want you to hear."

"What's a Gall Trayvis," Ezra asked, frowning at the spinning picture.

"The only member of the Imperial Senate with the courage to speak out publicly against the Empire," Hera told him.

From her tone and expression it was obvious she approved of the man and his actions. Ezra shifted uncomfortably. It sounded a lot like what his parents had done, and– He shook his head, pushing all thoughts of them as far away as possible and focusing back on what was being said.

"–public's greatest peacekeepers, Jedi Master Luminara Unduli, is alive."

Ezra's gaze shifted to Kanan who'd moved closer to the projection, attention completely focused on the image of a woman dressed in prison clothes being marched along by stormtroopers.

"She has been imprisoned unlawfully somewhere in the Stygeon system. As citizens, we demand the Emperor produce Master Unduli and grant her a fair trial before the entire Senate–"

A burst of static and the Imperial report was back on. Sabine switched off the holoprojector and Ezra turned to Kanan.

"This Luminara. . .you knew her?"

"I met her," Kanan explained. "Once. She was a great Jedi Master – brave, compassionate, disciplined. In fact, she'd make an excellent teacher for you."

The words were a slap to the face to Ezra and he ducked his head, eyes burning.

"There've always been rumors she survived the Clone Wars," Kanan's voice sounded so far away. "But they never came with a specific location before. We can't pass this up."

"Was hoping you'd say that." Hera gave Kanan's shoulder a reassuring squeeze on her way to the cockpit. "I'll set a course for the Stygeon system."

"The rest of you," Kanan turned to look at them, "prep for an op."

The crew scattered and Ezra was left alone with Chopper.

"You hear that?" he asked the droid. "He's done with me. He's gonna pawn me off on some stranger."

Chopper's clanking laughter filled the room, and Ezra dropped onto the bench, slumping over the table. Everything hurt. His head from all those nightmares and sleepless nights, his body from the days 'training,' but that small spot in his chest hurt the most.

Unwanted.

Ezra buried his head in arms. That person was wrong. It wasn't 10 times worse, it was 100 times worse. Maybe if he'd just been faster, cut Sabine off and said something, anything.

Unwanted.

This horrible, bitter feeling was one he'd thought, stupidly, that he might not be subjected to anymore.

Unwanted.

But this, apparently, wasn't true if Kanan was so ready and willing to get rid of him.

Unwanted.

Why? What had he done wrong? It couldn't really be too late, right? He could still fix this, couldn't he? Kanan didn't honestly - he couldn't really unwanted?

Author's Notes:

I know everybody was probably looking forward to the Inquisitor showing up, but this chapter was getting kind of long and considering he's one of my favorite villains I want to do him justice.

Comments to Your Reviews:

~ In response to a Guest review: It's not that Zeb doesn't care or give a f*ck. It's just that from his point of view Ezra was being an a** to Kanan. Yeah the kid almost died, but they almost die once a week so that doesn't give Ezra an excuse to be a** (in Zeb's opinion, remember he's a Lasat and they way I see it they're raised a bit more rough than what humans would considered 'normal'). That and he's closer to Kanan and understands Kanan better than Ezra so he tends to side with him over Ezra. Also Ezra's keeping all his problems to himself so nobody knows what he's going through. Just wanted to clarify that since I feel Zeb gets a lot flack for no reason.

~ In response to Guest 'E': I agree that they were out of line, BUT! This is how I justify (I use this word loosely) their actions. Kanan: incredibly insecure and is probably just repeating what he was told by his teachers but forgetting the part were they tell him HOW to be better which leads to only criticizing Ezra. Zeb: Like I said in my last comment, Zeb's a Lasat and I think it's reasonable to assume they're raised differently than humans. I picture them being raised in a more 'you learn by experience' type of environment in which they are (in my opinion/view) subjected to all sorts of things and expected to grin and bare it if you will. Therefore, to Zeb, he doesn't see anything wrong with the way Ezra's being trained (Ok the near death thing was out a line, but I kinda touched on Zeb's POV there and had him smack Chopper around, which given Zeb's tendency to deal with things physically as far as Zeb is concerned when he manhandled Chopper that was the end of it) and, in Zeb's opinion, Ezra shouldn't be making a big deal about it. Also, like I said above, Zeb's known Kanan longer and understands him better so he's more likely to side with Kanan over Ezra (yadda yaddda see above). Chopper: . . . I got nothing. Sorry, he's an old droid with some seriously f***ed up issues. I think, just guessing here, that Chopper's understanding of the situation is he was just doing as he was ordered to do: ie, throw stuff at Ezra. And given that Ezra is still alive everything is still ok. He's a robot, a machine, it doesn't matter how much "personality" the writers/characters/whoever give him, Chopper is still just a bunch of metal. He - It actually, doesn't understand emotions, only the result and logic (however warped) and the result of the day's 'training' was everyone was still alive so why should he act any different?
But this is all just MY understanding and opinion, I could be completely wrong.