"Relax," Kitty snaps before Jake or Sam (or Ryder) can protest her action. "I shot for his left ear."

Ryder instinctively clamps a hand over his left ear. "I like my ears," he objects meekly.

Jake holds his battle axe in a defensive position in front of the newbie. "Seriously, Kitty, I know shooting us guys gets you off, but could you seriously wait until the third day before you start blowing out his brains?"

Kitty's reaction is fairly predictable; Jake just holds the axe blade as a shield in front of his face, and the bullet clinks off its surface.

"Kitty," Tina says softly.

Unique pipes up, "Hun, is Unique here for a meeting, or are she here just to watch you shoot off er'body's faces?"

Kitty closes her eyes. Takes a deep breath. Jake lets out the tiny breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Situation clear. He saunters back to his couch and spreads his entire lanky frame across its width, just relaxing…

Until he realizes that the noob has followed him. Jake hurriedly snaps up to a more proper sitting position to clear some butt space. Gratefully, Ryder hops next to him. "Thanks for the save," he murmurs, leaning over.

"No prob, noob," Jake grins.

Kitty opens her eyes again, placing her Beretta pistol gingerly on the piano top next to her. "Thank you, Tina and Unique, for getting us back on track." She levels them all with an authoritative look, and Jake instinctively snaps up to attention. Even though Kitty can be a raging psycho with an irresistible urge to fill men with bullets, she's good at leadership. When she gets off her trauma high-horse and starts making plans, she actually becomes a decent person. It's half the reason why the Afterlife Battlefront likes operations so much; it's nice when her gun is being used for your benefit and not your impeding death.

The moment Kitty snaps her fingers, the lights dim down as Artie turns the projector on. An insignia flashes onto the wall, proudly displaying Like Hell I'm Dead Battlefront.

"I said Afterlife Battlefront! And what big mama says, goes," demands Unique.

Blaine suggests, "What about, No You're Dead Battlefront?"

"Nah, sounds like you're telling me that I'm dead," Sam interjects. "Which I'm not. I'm not-dead. Hey, how 'bout—"

"Meow," Sugar interrupts. "Kitties Battlefront. See? It's punny."

Tina's face sinks behind her scarf. "So stupid."

Jake throws up his hands in exasperation. "What about Afterlife Battlefront was so bad?"

"It's lame!" exclaims Sam. "I'm actually liking Artie's—"

Kitty regains the room's attention when she bounces her frying pan off Sam's head. Jake catches the bloody cast iron on its rebound; the noob stares in shock at Kitty's impeccable aim.

"Jake?"

Jake looks back up at their brutally fearless leader. "Uh… yeah," he responds lamely, tossing the pan back to her.

She catches it deftly and tucks it behind her back, whereupon it promptly disappears into the hammerspace where most of them keep stuff. Jake swears Tina has a whole arsenal of ninja stars and smoke bombs in the hammerspace portal by her waist, and Sam always manages to pull candy and some pretty decent BLTs out of nowhere when he feels like somebody needs a cheer-me-up. And Unique—that thin metal staff is even longer than Jake is, yet Unique always has it ready when she needs it.

"Alright, onto the second order of business," Kitty continues. "Thanks to Brody's unsuccessful recruiting mission with Ryder, the school no longer has a functional medical facility."

"That was his try at a recruiting mission?" Sam echoes faintly, massaging the massive lump rising out of his scalp.

Ryder poses another question before Kitty can react in frustration. "Why doesn't the school repair its own hospital?"

"Jake, explain after the meeting," Kitty orders. Jake shoots the guy a thumbs-up and continues listening. "Back on track… Operation Parachute will commence in twenty-four hours. I expect you all to be geared up and ready to go. Artie, connect us to the Guild."

"The Guild?" Ryder whispers.

"They make everything that we can't get off school grounds." Jake thumps the pommel of his battle axe on the ground. "I didn't buy this from the school gift store, you know."

Ryder grins. "I'm guessing none of the firearms have the school insignia on them either."

Jake shows him his sub-machine gun, a gorgeous PP-19 Bizon-2. "The guys down there make pretty much anything you can think of. And they can pretty much fix anything. It's not often, but every time something malfunctions—everything from a rocket launcher to Kitty's coffee maker—the guys down there can fix it."

Something lights up behind the noob's eyes. "You sure they can make or fix anything?"

"Yeah—oh hey!" He waves down Kitty's attention. "The noob needs his own gun!"

Kitty nods. "Good catch, Jake," she compliments. Neither of them notice Ryder's expression of discomfort. "I'll be sure to mention that to him."

"We've connected!" announces Artie. "We're on the line."

The projector screen flickers, revealing a man with a ton of hair. Most of the wild mess atop his head is rolled into dreads, but a few of the hairs in his beard have been braided, with little neon ribbon bow ties securing their ends.

There's a beat of silence. Then Kitty cries, "Joe?"

"Hey! Kitty! S'up?" He peers into the screen. "Artie, my man! How you guys doing?"

"What in the name of sanity have you done to your beard?" Kitty continues, still gawking.

Joe looks at them all strangely, his fingers reaching up to stroke his chin hair. He freezes as he feels the little neon bow ties as if just finding out their presence for the first time; his expression quickly cycles through shock, horror, bewilderment, irritation, and finally gleeful hilarity. He turns to the side and roars, "Nick! Jeff! I'll get you guys back for this!"

Laughter echoes from off-screen.

Joe turns back to Kitty and solemnly says, "Thanks for bringing that to my attention."

Kitty's face breaks into a smile, but she quickly clams back up and gets back to business. "Joe, we're headed down in six hours. Can you disable all the anti-Reaper death traps for us?"

Joe salutes her smartly. "Will do, ma'am."

Kitty steps aside and points to Ryder. "We have a new recruit. Meet Ryder."

Ryder waves. Joe waves back. "Hey man! I'm Joe, boss technician down here. You need a new weapon, don't you?"

Everybody's shocked when Ryder replies shortly, "No, I don't."