30. Self-Belief.

For the first time in Jade's life, Friday came too quickly. She could have used about eight hundred more rehearsals with the band she had scrambled together, a couple years to polish her lyrics, and another few weeks to pick her outfit. But here she was, sitting backstage before the Full Moon Jam (which was actually happening under a waxing gibbous), shredding the inside of her cheek with her molars. She had already ripped off every hangnail she could find and twisted her ring until her finger hurt. There were voices in the distance, students and friends and families setting themselves up in the audience, laughing and not having heart palpitations. Jade was so focused on who it was having fun out there that she didn't notice Andre until he was waving his hand in her face.

"What?" she snapped.

"There she is," Andre chuckled. He sat down on her left. "You ready?"

"Do I look ready?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

There was a second of silence.

"Today Robbie figured out that Sikowitz's name starts with 'psycho,' and wondered if that's the reason he's so crazy," Andre informed her. "I guess it clicked when Trina called him psycho for getting a butterfly stuck in Cat's ear."

"Well, I guess he's making progress."

There was another silence before they both burst out laughing. Jade had her eyes shut, leaning against Andre's shoulder with her own as she laughed. But her moment of hysterics was cut short as Andre was suddenly gasping, smacking Jade's arm until she saw what he was seeing: Alyssa Vaughn was standing in front of them. She was holding a small potted plant in her hands, which she held out to Jade, who blinked, accepting the plant. There was a folded piece of notebook paper taped to the side.

"What is this?" Jade asked.

"Just a little something," Alyssa shrugged. She squeezed Jade's shoulder, smiled at Andre, and wiggled her fingers goodbye as she walked away. Andre stared after her, his eyes wide. Jade started at the plant.

"I met Alyssa Vaughn!" Andre exclaimed, apparently no longer in his trance. He spread his arms out toward the heavens. "And holy hell, she's even more attractive in real life!"

Jade rolled her eyes, unfolding the note from the terra cotta pot:

Jade,

I would wish you luck, but I know you don't need it.

Alyssa.

P.S. It's a jade plant. A JADE plant. Get it?

She let out another laugh, but this one was bitter. It ended with her biting her lip as she tried to swallow the tears that were suddenly filling her eyes.

"What's wrong?! You were just given a present by Alyssa Vaughn! She gave you a physical pun!"

"Exactly," Jade's voice shook.

"Okay…." Andre didn't understand.

"Beck did something similar," Jade sniffed, her voice thick.

"Okay," he was puzzling it out, "so this is about you missing Beck."

"No!" Jade threw the note. It swayed through the air and floated to the floor. "It's just… I don't give gifts like this, y'know?"

Andre scrunched up his face, confused.

"Like, I wouldn't even have thought of it."

"So… You think because Alyssa and Beck both gave you funny, punny, gifts, they belong together?"

"No, I just mean…maybe it means he doesn't belong with me…." Jade sighed. There was a sudden anger in her eyes. "God, I sound like a fucking fairytale! I'm not a damsel in distress. I'm not even a damsel, that's a stupid word. I'm a—"

"Andre?" Sinjin's disconcerting voice interrupted.

"'Sup?"

"We're ready to start."

"Alright, I'll be there in a sec." Andre turned back to Jade. "I don't know what you're singing tonight, but it's going to blow everyone's minds. And I'm not just saying that because Tori roped me into her 'let's fix Beck and Jade' plan that totally bombed."

"Right."

"I'm serious."

"Okay."

"No, really."

"I believe you."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Yeah?"

"No."

"Oh. Well, I've gotta go start the show. I'll come back later and see if you've changed your mind." Andre grabbed the mic Sinjin was offering, then went onstage to do his emcee shtick.

There was still something on the chair Andre had occupied: his PearPhone. Jade sighed, figuring she'd have to stay put and guard it until the first act was on stage. She was listening to Andre cracking jokes, and the audience eating it up, when a quiet piano riff caught her ear. Andre's phone was glowing beside her. He had a text. Without touching the phone, Jade leaned over as far as she could and tilted her head until she could read the message on the screen. It was from Beck:

I made a huge mistake.

Jade raised her eyebrows, sitting back up. She tried to figure out what that could be in reference to, but she came up with too many options. She didn't allow herself to hope that it could have something to do with his date with Meredith. Meredith was nice, and obliging, and while Jade hated that, guys seemed not to. It seemed to happen that way a lot with Jade — everyone hating the things she loved, everyone loving the things she loathed.

"So, you feeling ready yet? You're after the next one."

"Right," Jade acknowledged vacantly.

"I take it then that you're not feeling ready." Andre retook his seat beside Jade. "Okay, I have this trick for that."

Jade looked at him dubiously.

"Breathe in," Andre instructed. Jade did so. "Now breathe out."

She harshly let out the air from her lungs.

"Good," Andre chuckled, checking his phone. He sent a quick text before locking the screen and slipping the phone into his pocket. "Now do it again."

Jade inhaled, exhaled.

"Again."

She breathed again.

"Keep going." Andre pulled out his phone as the piano riff sounded again. As he answered whatever text was sent (which was making Jade unbearably curious), Jade did her best to keep breathing steadily. She was just starting to feel relaxed and centered when Andre sighed at his phone.

"What?" she asked, her voice a little higher pitched than it should have been. So much for faking indifference.

"Nothing, just… Are you still doing that trick I taught you?"

"…you mean…breathing?"

"That's exactly what I mean. Keep doing that."

Jade closed her eyes and breathed in through her nose.

"Okay," Andre said quietly, "now listen to me. You have nothing to be worried about when you go out on that stage. You know how talented you are, and you need to just let that shine when you're out there."

"Did you just tell me to 'make it shine?'"

"…not on purpose. Keep breathing. Now, the audience is full of people who are going to be cheering you on—"

Jade opened her eyes. "Exactly how many people are out there?"

"I dunno. Eighty, ninety. Not the point. The point is, you are guaranteed cheering and applause no matter what happens."

"Yeah, from who?"

"My grandma's out there," Andre shrugged. "She's not stupid, she'll cheer. I'm here, I'll be cheering. Tori cheers for everyone. That's three. Cat and Robbie will, if they're not screaming about the baby butterfly."

"So I'll just get polite applause from the remaining eighty five people?"

"No. I was just counting off guaranteed applause. You're going to win over everyone else too."

"Yeah, 'cause they're scared of me."

"No, because they respect you and your talent. Now, like I said, I haven't heard the song you're going to sing tonight, but I know that it will be amazing because you're amazing. Got it?"

Jade nodded.

"I know there's one more person that you want cheering for you, and…"

"And?"

"And he will."

Applause and raucous cheers sounded.

"Alright, I'm going to introduce the next one. Then you."

Jade nodded, trying to keep up with her steady breathing. On a whim, she pulled out her phone to check her text messages. There were four.

Tori Vega: Good luck tonight! You'll do awesome!

Alyssa Vaughn: Don't be surprised if I show up before your show to give you a present! :-)

Dad: I understand that you are performing tonight and was told to wish you luck. Good luck.

Beck Oliver: Break a leg tonight. I can't wait to hear what you've written. And I want to talk to you after.

Jade read each one over and over again, until Sinjin was suddenly beckoning her into the wings of the stage and she heard Andre say her name. Jade lifted her chin, threw back her shoulders, and strode to the microphone that was waiting for her on stage.

You keep Picking at the Scab

and I keep selling the plaster.

You keep telling me that I'm bad,

but I keep on getting better faster.

The End

Oh my God. I'm so sorry I haven't posted - I meant to have this up weeks ago, but...I spilled water on my laptop...But I saved everything from my hard drive! Yay! Anyway, thank you all so so so so so much for reading my writing. I don't know if I'll be posting anymore stories. I leave for school on Monday, and I don't know how much time I'll have. But thank you all. Whenever I publish my first novel, you'll know that you were one of my earliest audiences XD. Oh, and this song is "Scab and Plaster" by Marina and the Diamonds, which inspired this story. So long everyone, I'll be around :)