Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly: Part 1

Batman, Robin, and Bane's Prison Cell - 2:12 am

It was the first night that Bruce and Dick were spending in their jail cell. After Bane had used Bruce's face to clean the toilet a few hours prior, Bane had finally retired to his bed, bunked directly above Bruce. Dick had a separate bed to himself on the other side of the cell. Being so late, Bruce doubted that he'd get any sleep before it was time to wake up again at 7:00 am. He grumbled as he tried to figure out a way he could escape from Arkham without being noticed.

After tossing and turning for a while, Bruce got out of his bed and walked to the bars of the cell. As he grabbed on to them, 15,000 volts of electricity electrocuted him. After 20 minutes of being shocked, he was jettisoned backwards and landed back in his bed, burnt and extra crispy.

"Why me?" he coughs, before hearing a strange creaking sound. He darted his eyes to try to pinpoint were the noise was coming from. It creaked again, a bit louder this time.

Bruce sat up and looked around once more, before laying back down.

It then became silent for a long while.

As Bruce finally drifted off to sleep, the creaking noise returned, much louder than before. Bruce woke up just in time to witness Bane's bed collapse right on top of him.

Bane still slept on like nothing happened.

Later that morning, it was time for all prisoners in Arkham to wake up.

Dick yawned as he stretched in his bed. He felt refreshed from his evening slumber.

"Ah, I slept like a baby! How about you, Bruce….Bruce?" he says, looking around for his buddy. At that moment, Bane was waking up. After he got out of bed, Bane's mattress was immediately knocked aside as Bruce crawled out from beneath it, gasping for breath.

"There you are, buddy ol' pal! Sleep well?" Dick says with his trademark cheesy smile. Bruce tried his hardest not to attempt to strangle his partner. A short time later, a familiar figure in uniform walked in front of their cell. It was Officer K. Croc.

"Alright maggots, its shower time," Officer Croc says. Dick and Bane made their way out the cell. As Bruce stepped out, Croc grabbed him and pulled him to the side.

"Hold on, Bat-face, you're next to get registered for your prison ID number," he says, as he dragged him down the hallway.

Prison Outfitter - 7:31 am

"So, what can I get for you today?" says the red-haired woman dressed in green.

"Poison Ivy? You're here t—" Bruce says in surprise, before getting clubbed by Croc's night-stick.

"The bat-boy here needs his prison uniform with an ID number," the Officer says.

"Ah yes. It's almost ready," She then turned to Bruce. "In the mean time why don't you get yourself showered up?" she suggested, smiling evilly as Croc dragged Bruce out of the room.

Outside the Men's Showers - 8:00 am

Bruce stood at the door that led into the Men's Locker Room and Showers. He turned towards Officer Croc.

"I am not going to shower with other men. END OF STORY!" Bruce protests.

"Too bad. Now get in," the Officer says, glaring at Bruce through his dark sunglasses.

"Forget it," Bruce says, crossing his arms.

"See this taser?" Croc says as he pulled out a dangerous looking taser. As soon as he showed it to Bruce, it accidentally discharged, shocking Bruce with 10,000 volts of electricity, sending him flying into the locker room, the door closing behind him.

"Oops, didn't put the safety on…" the Officers says with a smile, before leaving the area.

Inside the Men's Showers - 8:39 am

Bruce peered his head around the entrance to the main showers. It was so steamy he couldn't see anything within the area.

"Well, here goes nothing," Bruce gulped, slowly stepping into the steamy showers. After wandering for what felt like hours through the depth of the misty room, he finally bumped into somebody. The person turned around, revealing himself as none other as Dick.

"Hey Bruce! Come to take a shower too!" he says gleefully.

"Um…yeah…say, Dick…the prisoners in here…they haven't...you know…"

"Oh, these nice people? Naw, they are cool. When I dropped my soap, they helped me look for it! Kept bumping into me on accident several times while I was bending…"

"OKAY, little too much info…" Bruce interrupts, eyebrow raised.

"They're all gone now to eat, I think," Dick adds.

So the two men continued their shower in peace. When they where finished, Dick went to dry off in the locker room, while Bruce felt around for his within the showers.

"Now where did I put it?" Bruce says out loud, before feeling something.

"Ah, here it is!" he says, as he tugged, trying to bring his towel closer to him. However, it didn't budge.

"What the? My towels' stuck!"

After giving several more small tugs, he finally gave one mighty pull, followed by a loud ripping noise.

"What the hell?" Bruce says wide-eyed, as he was holding a large clump of hair. He was then grabbed by the neck by a large hand and pulled deeper into the shower.

Prison Outfitter - 9:15 am

"Gee Bruce! That's amazing! You must be really strong after surviving the beat-down Bane gave you after you ripped off his chest-hair back in the showers!"

"More like cursed…" Bruce says to Dick, wincing and rubbing the cast around his neck. At that moment, Poison Ivy came out with the two's prison uniforms.

"Alright, boys, these are your outfits you will be wearing during your time here in Arkham," she says as she handed them their outfits. Both of them went into the dressing room and put them on. When they came out, both of them were wearing green colored jumpsuits. They then looked at the numbers on their shirts. Dick's shirt read '4-21-13-2-1-19-19', while Bruce's read '12-15-19-5-18'.

"Say, Ivy, do these numbers have a special meaning to them?" Dick asks.

"Hmm…well, if the number '1' represents the letter 'A', and the number '2' represents the letter 'B'…well, you'll figure it out eventually," she says with a seductive smile. Just then, a bell rang, and Officer Croc stepped into the room.

"Last call for breakfast, maggots," Croc says, as he drug the two out toward the cafeteria.

Cafeteria - 9:27 am

"You know, this place isn't half bad," Dick says between munches. The two where sitting at the back table in the cafeteria. Dick had some bacon, eggs, a bowl of cereal, an apple, a bagel, and some orange juice. Bruce just got a rock.

"Remind me to vent my anger and frustration by kicking your ass back at our cell," Bruce says, trying to carve into the large piece of marble on his plate. Minutes later, Bruce slammed his fist on the table and stood up.

"This is ridiculous! First I lose my company, have my identity revealed, lose my mansion, thrown into prison, and now the city has been taken over by Joker and every other villain in Gotham!" Bruce says, heaving with anger.

"Aw cheer up, buddy, I'm sure we'll find a way out of here. Besides, I bet Alfred is on his way right now to bail us out!"

Meanwhile On The Road Somewhere

"Woo hoo! Free at last! Florida retirement home here I come!" Alfred yelled with happiness in his cab as he made his way toward the Gotham City airport.

Back in the Cafeteria…

"I seriously doubt it," Bruce grumbled.

"Well, what about Commissioner Gordon?"

Meanwhile At Commissioner Gordon's House

"Your Batman is Bruce Wayne Web Page has reached 1,000,000 hits since yesterday," spoke Gordon's computer after his successful website launch last night. He celebrated with Champaign and chips with all the other police officers of Gotham.

Back in the Cafeteria…

"I wouldn't count on it…" Bruce says, drinking a glass of water he managed to steal from another prisoner.

"…The Justice League?" Dick suggests.

Meanwhile at the Justice League Space HQ

The Flash was hogging the main Locater Console, chatting with girls from all over the world.

"How long has he been on that computer?" the Green Lantern asked Wonder Woman.

"Seven days," she says, rolling her eyes. "Say, any word on Batman lately? We should see how he's doing."

"Naw, we'll leave him alone. Remember, we only call him up when we really need the anti-social bitch," Lantern replies.

Cafeteria…

"Fat chance."

Just then, Bane sat down next to them. He had a satellite dish-sized plate filled to the brim with food. Bane, without turning, grabbed Bruce's rock and popped it into his mouth like it was candy.

"Hey, that was MY rock, Bane!" Bruce shouts, as he slapped Bane in the area where he tore off his chest hair earlier.

Moments later, Bruce's outline could be seen in the newly formed gaping hole in the cafeteria wall, with Bane's fist sticking out toward that direction.

Batman, Robin, and Bane's Prison Cell - 12:10 pm

The trio was back in their cells for some downtime. Dick was reading a comic book, while Bane was sewing some sort of garment. Bruce Wayne, who had moved his mattress to the center of the room, was lying down after coming from the infirmary due to the cafeteria incident earlier. He turned toward his partner and whispered to him.

"Psst, hey Dick! We have got to get out of here. The day isn't half over and I'm already going nuts! I don't know how much longer I can take this!" he says, wincing in pain every few seconds. Dick scratched his head as he turned to the last page of his book. Then he raised an eyebrow, followed by a big excited grin.

"Bruce, check out this cool advertisement! It's a 'Make your own official Batman Utility Belt Kit!'" he says, tearing out the ad and handing it to Bruce.

"You're kidding? They actually sell stuff like this in comic book?" he says, scanning the ad's details.

"Yep! In the last issue, they had a 'Lex Luthor Brand Anti-Superman Kryptonite Making Kit'!"

"I'm sure Clark Kent would be ecstatic to hear that," Bruce says, rolling his eyes.

"And check this out, Bruce!" Dick says, grabbing the ad from Bruce. "This offer expires if not mailed by 5:00 pm today!"

"We need to get that filled out and mailed before 5:00 pm then. That kit may be the key to our freedom from this godforsaken place!" Bruce says, grabbing the ad back from Dick. He pulled a pen from out of his pocket and quickly filed out the order form, He then folded it neatly and walked toward the barred doors of their cell.

"Gee Bruce, how are you going to get that mailed?" Dick asked.

"When I was in the Outfitter's place earlier, I noticed their prisoner's mail pick-up/drop-off schedule on the wall. If I read correctly, the mail cart's first go-around should roll by here any minute now."

As if on cue, he heard the mail cart approaching their hallway from around the corner.

"Okay, here it goes," Bruce says, ready to toss the form into the cart. When it came into view, he tossed it out toward the cart, but it missed, landing on the ground. The man in uniform who was pushing the cart then slips on the form and falls flat on his face with a thud.

"Oops," Bruce gulped, for the man that had slipped was Officer K. Croc. Croc quickly stood up and surveyed the hall.

"Alright, which one of you maggots made me slip on this piece of paper?" he demanded, patting his nightstick.

Every prisoner in the area then pointed to Bruce's cell. Croc turned around, glared at Bruce, and then smacked Bruce upside the head through the bars with his club. He then picked the form off the ground, crumpled it, and tossed it back at Bruce in his cell.

"Wow, Bruce, that didn't go very well. What now?" he says, scratching his head.

"That letter's getting mailed now matter what!" Bruce responds, picking up the crumpled form and shaping it into an airplane.

"Here it goes!" he says, as he flung the paper airplane toward the cart that Croc continued to push. But the plane flew over the cart and whizzed around the corner.

"Dammit! It's gone now!" Bruce grumbles.

Seconds later, out from around that very corner, came Poison Ivy, with the paper airplane form stuck off in the inside of her outfit's top. A bit miffed, she grabs the paper and tears it into pieces and leaves the area.

"Sonova," Bruce starts, slamming his fist into the metal bars, only to get electrocuted with 15,000 volts of electricity, again.

Cafeteria - 1:34 pm

"Get in line, maggots!" yells Officer Croc, after blowing on his whistle. It was lunchtime at Arkham, and Bruce and his partner Dick were waiting in line to get their food. While they waited, a couple of gang members in front of Bruce turned around to him and started laughing hysterically.

"Aw snaps man! This is so rich, seeing the Crap-Crusader booked here in Arkham. You really blew it, Bruce-Punk!" one of the guys says who sported an afro, before laughing once again with his gang.

"It was a setup!" Bruce protests. "This all had to be planned out by the Joker himself!" he adds.

"And a tight plan it was, cuz! Welcome to our world, Mr. Crap Crusader," the afro man taunts, before the gang members turned their backs to him and got their food. Bruce was red hot and ready to bust them up, when Dick restrained him from doing so.

After he cooled down, he and Dick proceeded to the main meal counter. The lunch guy smirked as he gave Bruce a full tray of food. "The Joker instructed me to feed you this time so you wouldn't starve to death," the lunch guy chuckles as he handed Bruce his tray.

"Gee, I'm honored," Bruce says sarcastically, as he and Dick went to same table they ate earlier at Breakfast. That gaping hole in the wall that Bane punched him through earlier was still there, only it was being guarded by Croc. The two ate silently for a while, before Bruce broke the silence.

"Say, Dick, I just realized something. If getting imprisoned was really all the Joker's plot, then what's with all the Arkham prisoners here along with our archenemies? You would think they would be running amuck through Gotham!" he says in between bites.

"Maybe to make your stay here a living hell?" Dick suggests, with his cheesy smile.

"Bluntly says, buddy," Bruce mutters as he continued his meal.

Just then, a strong gust of wind blew from the gaping hole in the wall, and with it, a comic book unknowingly flies in between Officer Croc's legs, and stops on the floor behind Bruce's table. He looks down at it and immediately notices that it was another issue of the same book he got the order form from. Bruce's eyes widened as he saw this.

"Its…it's a miracle! Dick, I have another chance to order that Utility Belt Kit!" he cheers with happiness.

As he bent down to pick it up, he stopped as he saw Bane walking down that way with a ton of food on his satellite dish-sized tray that was blocking most of his view.

Not seeing the magazine on the ground, Bane slips on it and comes tumbling down on top of Bruce with a crash that shook the entire cafeteria.

The Rockyard - 3:06 pm

It was warm outside in the prison's Rock yard. Many of the prisoners were getting their exercise by breaking rocks, while others were lifting weights. Dick was with those people as he tried to bench-press a whopping five pounds. Bruce Wayne, however, was alone by the fence-line, filling out another form so he could hopefully get his Utility Belt Kit. When he finished, he notices another guy pushing the mail cart on the other side of the fence.

"There's the second go-around," Bruce mutters to himself.

He folded the form into a paper airplane once more and aimed it at the cart. When he tossed it, it was on target to go in, but another gust of wind blew it off course. Bruce watched as the plane flew back over the fence, and landed in some guy's afro.

It was the gang member who messed with him earlier at lunch.

The afro-man plucked the plane from out of his hair as he and his gang struts towards Bruce.

"Is this your paper airplane, mofo?" the afro-man says, crossing his muscular arms.

"Who wants to know?" Bruce counters.

"That it. No one messes up my afro! I'm going to mess you up, foo!" he says, closing in on Bruce.

"Hey Bruce! Give that guy an old fashion fistfight! You know, the one that Adam West always did in his shows with the 'Kapow' and 'Splat'?" Dick yells from the exercise area.

"Guess it wouldn't hurt," Bruce thought, as he dodged the afro-man's first punch, and countered with a left hook to the chest.

-POW!-

The afro-man staggered backwards from the blow Bruce gave him.

"Man you gonna die now, biatch!" the afro-man warns, as he and his whole gang started closing in on him.

Bruce would have his hands full for the rest of the afternoon, until evening sets in.

Please review and proceed to the next chapter: Batman's Bad Day 2: Prison Folly: Part 2!