Chapter Five

"You want a boyfriend?" Jon asked Sansa the following morning while they had their morning coffee before classes. Sansa made a face and Jon laughed. "So that's a no…"

"I don't want a boyfriend per se, but it doesn't really work that way anyway," she explained and stretched her arms out on the table in front of her. They were in the commuter café together and Sansa was not yet awake.

She'd had another dream about Robb. This time they'd been kissing behind the house. He told her he loved her in the dream. Sansa had woken up confused and aching again.

"I just want to be open to the possibility," she said.

He grinned. "If you want to be open to the possibility, Sansa, you might not want to make stinky cheese face when someone says the word boyfriend."

She sighed. "I don't know why I'm so averse to the idea. It's not like I even remember having one."

"Maybe subconsciously you do."

If that was the case then based on her dreams Robb had been her boyfriend. And no…

She shrugged. "So, do you know any nice single guys?"

He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. He put his coffee down on the table and heaved a deep breath. Sansa watched him expectantly. She knew Jon well enough to know he was working up to something. His cheeks grew pink and he raked some of his curly locks back. He looked at her. "Me. What about me?"

She hadn't expected that. At all.

"See, the thing is, Sansa, I have thought about it. Dating you, that is. And I'd…I'd really like to try." He was so nervous and it was so adorable and Sansa couldn't stand it. His gray eyes met hers. "Do you think maybe you might consider it…?"

She broke into a slow smile. "Yes."

"You'll consider it, or…?"

"I just considered it. And yes, I will. Go on a date with you, I mean. When?"

Jon broke into a smile that Sansa had only been able to pull from him a handful of times. Each one was a gift when it happened. She smiled back at him. Date her best friend? Of course.

"How about tomorrow night?" he asked.

"Perfect."

xxxxxxxx

When Sansa arrived at the office that afternoon she felt better. She'd made a step in the right direction towards getting past this…whatever it was with Robb. In some ways, Jon and Robb were alike, so maybe her subconscious was just playing games with her? Maybe it was really Jon she wanted this whole time…?

She made her way to her father's office and found Robb in there, alone, and bent over some paperwork. "Hey." He looked up and he smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "You okay?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm just looking for a specific piece of correspondence for one of Dad's depositions and I'm having hard time finding it. I've pulled all the files."

She put her hand on her hips and lifted her chin. "Have no fear Sansa is here!"

He laughed and she sat down at her father's desk. "Hit me. With a file that is."

He handed one over to her and told her what to look for. As she set to work, she began to hum to herself.

"You're in a good mood today," Robb said, looking up at her.

Her mouth quirked a bit into a lopsided grin. "I have a date tomorrow night."

"You have a date tomorrow night?"

Sansa nodded and began to hum again as she turned more papers.

"Sansa."

She looked up at him. He didn't look happy. His jaw was clenched tight. "Who do you have a date with?"

"Jon. Can you believe it, I can—"

"You said that you and this Jon were just friends."

"We are…were? I asked him if he knew any nice single guys and he offered himself."

"So, he's had a thing for you this whole time."

"I suppose so—"

"I don't know how I feel about you going out with someone that hasn't been honest with you."

Sansa stared at him. "What? Jon is – no. Jon is like the most honest guy I know. He's like…a puppy. A complete sweetheart. He doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body."

"Sansa—"

"Little dove! You're here!" Margaery exclaimed as she came inside the room. She put her hand on Robb's shoulder. "Did your brother tell you I finally wore him down? We're going out tomorrow night."

Sansa was not prepared for the stab of jealousy she felt. It was absurd. And disturbing. So, she forced herself to smile broadly. "Congratulations?" She looked at Margaery. "Is that the appropriate response?"

"It'll do, little dove," Margaery said with a broad smile of her own. She ruffled Robb's hair. "Come see me later." And then she was off again.

Sansa looked at him with arched brow and leaned forward, her elbow on the desk and her chin in the palm of her hand. "Well, well. And you seemed so afraid of her."

Robb sighed. "I still am."

"Maybe you're a bit of a sadist then? Or is it masochist?"

"Sansa, I want to meet Jon. Tomorrow night before you go out with him, I want to meet him."

She frowned and sat back. "This is you being big brother-y?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes."

"But you're going out with Margaery. What if Jon comes after you're gone?"

He sighed as if willing himself to have patience. "I'm sure we can figure something out."

"It's not that important that you meet him, Robb. Mom and Dad have already."

"I don't care."

"Robb—"

"Sansa, the last boyfriend you had ran us into a tree. You called me, hysterical, because he hit you and was aiming to do more. You were in a coma for three days and none of us knew if you were going to make it out. But then you did. You came back to me – us – you came back to us. Joffrey had Mom and Dad fooled. He had you fooled. He had us all fooled. Can you maybe understand why I want to meet him?"

"Well, God, when you put it like that…" she muttered.

"Thank you."

"I don't remember Joffrey, but I'd like to think that I wouldn't make that same choice again. I've done a lot of reading up on abusive relationships and it doesn't make sense that I would choose someone like that."

Robb looked down. He looked sad and…guilty?

"He hid his true colors well," Robb said. "We were all fooled."

Sansa frowned. "You don't blame yourself, do you?"

Robb looked at her. "Yes. I do."

"Well, that's just ridiculous. It wasn't your fault. I'm sure you did your big brother job then well enough too."

He didn't say anything, and he looked down again.

Sansa got up and made her way over to him. She knelt down before him and gingerly placed her hand on his knee. He looked at her hand and then at her. "Robb, don't blame yourself for what happened. I don't. And even if I remembered everything perfectly I'm sure I still wouldn't. I made the choice to date him."

He nodded, but he didn't look convinced. "Thank you," he murmured.

"If it's that important to you to meet Jon then we'll work something out, okay?"

He nodded again. She stood, kissed his cheek, and then went back to the files.

xxxxxxx

Flashback

Sansa was doing her homework one night when Robb slipped in and said, "Has Mom talked to you?"

She blinked at him. "Um, no. Why? Should she have?"

"She talked to me this afternoon when I got home from work."

"…Yeah?"

He sat down and ran his hand through his hair. His curls bounced and flopped about and Sansa scooted closer to him and attempted to fix his hair. He moved away from her by standing up and walking away from her. He couldn't mess around with her right now. He had to focus.

"Robb, what's going on?" she asked. She sounded a bit worried now.

"She told me that she saw us last night watching TV when she got up to get a drink in the kitchen," Robb said and started to pace. "She said she noticed something between us."

"Oh no, not that!" Sansa faux gasped.

He stopped and looked at her. "Sansa, she said that there was an intimacy between us that made her uncomfortable. She said that it's not the first time she's noticed it and just chalked it up to us being close, but after she saw how we were together she can't ignore it anymore."

"Robb—"

"Sansa, she asked me point blank if there was something going on between us. She couldn't even get the words out…"

Sansa went over to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "What did you tell her?" she asked. She was all business Sansa now. Her expression serious, her posture straight.

"I told her that I don't know what she thought she saw but she was mistaken," he told her. "I told her I would never do anything like that with you and of course you never would with me. I told her I couldn't believe she would even suggest that."

"And?"

"I'm not sure she bought it. Sansa, I'm a little worried."

She arched a brow. "A little?"

"How can you not be?" he demanded. "If Mom and Dad find out about us they could separate us, Sansa. They could make me go away. Do you want that?"

"Of course not," she said and wound her arms around him. Robb wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly against him. "I love you," she said into his neck

"We need to lay low," he told her softly. "We need to keep our distance. We can't give her any reason to suspect." She grew silent and that worried Robb. "Sansa, are you listening to me?"

She pulled back and looked up at him. "I'll get a boyfriend."

He gaped at her. "What?"

"There's a boy at school that asked me out a couple times—"

"How am I just hearing about this now?" he demanded.

She rolled her eyes. "Really, Robb? Now's not the time—"

"Who is he?"

"His name is Joffrey. He's some popular rich boy. He seems nice."

Robb didn't like this. Not at all.

"Look, I'll just go out with him a few times. No big deal. Mom will stop worrying—"

"Or maybe we should do nothing and go on as we have. If you all of a sudden get a boyfriend she might think we're actually guilty."

"How about this – how about we do nothing for a while and then in a couple weeks I'll tell Joffrey I'll go out with him. I'll play it off like it's no big deal and I'm not really sure it's what I want to do and Mom will do her Mom thing where she talks to me about it, maybe even convinces me it's a good idea, and then that's it. It's done. After a couple dates I'll stop seeing him. Ba da bing, ba da boom, it's done."

"Why can't I just go out with some girl? Jeyne at work flirts with me all the time," Robb said.

"Nope, I'm going to go out with Joffrey. It's decided," Sansa said and turned away from him. "You don't want me to boil any bunnies in a fit of jealousy do you, Robb?" she asked over her shoulder as she made her way back to the bed.

He was on her in two strides, pulling her by her hips against him and biting at her neck playfully. She slapped a hand over her mouth so she wouldn't laugh out loud.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. "I love you so much."

She spun around in his arms and narrowed her eyes. "This Jeyne…do you flirt back?"

He furrowed his brow. "What?"

"You said this woman Jeyne flirts with you. Do you flirt back?"

His laugh was low and easy. "God, Sansa, how could you even be jealous? Don't you know by now that you are my entire world?"

She smiled and kissed him quickly before just hugging him. "And you, dear brother, have nothing to worry about when it comes to Joffrey."

End Flashback

Famous last words, Robb thought.

He hadn't protected her. Not the way he should have. He should have asked Jeyne out and been done with it. He never should have let Sansa be the one to fix things with their mother. Sometimes he wondered if he would ever be able to forgive himself for that. And the thing was, he couldn't tell her how sorry he was. He couldn't do anything about it at all except pretend that none of it ever happened.